Trouble Times Five
by Hisa-Me Kurai
Summary: The Gundam Pilots are on assignment to protect five sisters from an unseen enemy. They're thinking kindergarten and preschool. What they get is five, hormonal, teenaged quints, who want them there as much as pimple on prom night. Rating may go up
1. Mission Brief: There's FIVE OF THEM?

(A/N: Hey all! Woot! My second Gundam Wing fic! Tell me if I'm doing a decent job! Now READ ON!)

* * *

"This is **_so_** annoying." Chang Wufei growled staring out the window as the scenery flew by. 

"For once I agree with you." Duo Maxwell grumped, "We didn't sign up for this gig to be babysitters."

"I don't like it either, but we have to deal." Quatre Reberba Winner said pacifyingly, "We don't get to choose our missions."

"Not too mention…listening to you to whine…is really beginning to grate on my nerves." Heero Yuy muttered.

Trowa Barton nodded in silent agreement.

The Gundam pilots were sulking in the backseats of a military hummer currently being driven by Lucrezia Noin. The Fab Five (ha! had to put that in. sorry) were griping at a professional level that could put a whiny toddler to shame as they moaned about how much they were above their current assignment: serving as bodyguards for the daughters of a very politically influential man who had been under constant siege as of late.

"Heh. Easy there, boys." Noin chuckled as they began the drive up to the mansion, passing the sprawling grounds as they did so, "It's not like this is the doctors trying to mess with you. These orders came down from Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian herself."

"…Relena?" Heero muttered.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Duo griped, "**_She's_** the one puttin' us through this?"

"I must admit, this is highly unusual for her." Quatre murmured.

"Tch….meddling wench." Wufei growled, earning a piercing glare from Heero.

"It _**is**_ rather strange." Noin said, nodding in agreement, "But you must understand that Sugino Hatake was the best of friends with Relena's adoptive father while he was alive."

"…a special circumstance then." Trowa murmured, speaking for the first time.

"That's right." Noin smirked as she pulled up to the marble steps leading to the carved mahogany front door.

"It's still annoying as hell…why me?" Duo grumped, violet eyes flashing as they climbed the steps.

"If this turns out to be a false alarm...there will be hell to pay." Wufei murmured, black eyes glittering with ill intent.

"Let's just do our job, okay?" Quatre asked fretfully, blue eyes filled with worry as they reached the front door.

"A mission is a mission and shall be completed to the fullest extent of my abilities." Heero said mechanically, Prussian blue eyes disclosing nothing.

Trowa merely rang the bell instead of monologue-ing with the other pilots.

* * *

_-chk-lak-_

A rather frazzled looking man in his late forties answered the door. He had honey colored hair that was streaked with grey and white from stress, crow's feet at the corner's of his ice blue eyes a thick mustache that almost hid his upper lip from view.

"Mr. Sugino Hatake?" Noin asked, saluting, "I am Lucrezia Noin. We received notice of the recent attacks on you and your family and-"

"Oh **_please_** come in." He said quickly, practically dragging them into the front entry, "I'm so glad you're here."

The Gundam pilot's barely listened to Hatake as he told Noin about another assault that had occurred just last night. They were far too busy taking in the surroundings as they made their way into the living room-and cursing their fate as babysitters.

"…so that sums it up." Hatake finalized fretfully, "My girl's have no inkling that this harassment is taking place. I wouldn't want them to worry about me, but at the same time, I fear for their safety. Please take care of them."

"Don't worry about a thing, Mr. Sugino." Noin smiled reassuringly, gesturing to the G-boys, "They'll be in the care of our best operatives. So you can put your mind at ease."

The man looked like he was ready to cry from sheer relief when his wrist watch went off.

"Oh!" Hatake said, ice blue eyes widening, "They'll be home any minute!"

"Well this is just perfect." Noin smiled, shooting a rather mischievous look at the pilots, "This will save time on introductions."

* * *

As if on cue, the front door swung open and four, loud raucous female voices, bickering loudly, came storming in. 

"**HOW COULD YOU _DO THAT_ MITSUKI?**"

"**HEE _HEE!_ THAT WAS FUCKIN' _HILARIOUS!_**"

"**_HEY!_ HATOZAKI'S A _PERV!_ DEAL WITH IT!**"

"**_STOP FIGHTING!_**"

Four girls-no. Scratch that. Four **COMPLETLY IDENTICAL** teenaged girls, as in, couldn't be more identical if you **_cloned them_** identical, stormed into the living room. They all had honey colored hair down to the smalls of their backs with bangs reaching their chins. And all four had a matching set of glittering green eyes, obviously inherited from their mother.

Five jaws dropped at once.

"_I…I thought we were gonna be dealin' with ankle biters…not a buncha teenage doppelgangers."_ Duo thought dumbly.

"_Women…tch…Injustice…I don't know what I could have possibly done to deserve this." _Wufei thought grouchily.

"_Oh Allah…show mercy on me."_ Quatre begged silently to his god as the argument between the siblings raged, ensuring they failed to register the guests.

Heero merely made a mental note that only four of five were present and did nothing to quell the fighting.

Trowa did the same, also recalling that there were supposed to be five sisters and that only four were currently present, then resumed staring at the coffee table.

* * *

"**Misaki! _Michiru!_ Mikura! _Mitsuki!_ That's _enough!_**" Hatake barked, making the four girls jump, "Where's Mimiru? Why isn't she with you?" 

"Well, today _**is**_ Wednesday, Dad." One of the four chimed, twirling a strand of hair absently around her index finger.

"Yee-yah. She has dance practice, remember?" another of the quartet asked.

"**_Hee!_** You're so absentminded, Daddy." A third member of the foursome grinned.

"Don't be rude to Dad…please?" the fourth asked, a pleading edge in her voice.

"It's alright, Michiru." Hatake sighed, "It's my own fault."

"Huh? D-Daddy? Wh-who're these guys?" the fourth girl blinked, finally noticing that they weren't alone.

"**Ooo!** Blondie's_** sooo**_ cute!" the third of the four squealed, making Quatre turn an interesting shade of pink.

"What is it with you and blondes, Mitsuki?" the second of the quartet snorted.

"So? It's not any different with you and brunettes, Misaki." The first of the foursome snickered.

"Shut it, Mikura." The girl referred to as Misaki snapped.

"All of you, knock it **off**." Hatake growled, "To start things off, why don't we have the boys introduce themselves."

* * *

Pilot's one, three, four and five all began staring pointedly at pilot two, who blinked, a little started, then groaned a little as he rose from his place on the couch. 

"Duo Maxwell! I may run, and I may hide, but I will never tell a lie!" the braided boy declared.

"Big words." The girl who had been referred to as Mikura smirked, "Let's see you live up to them."

"Heero Yuy." The Prussian blue eyed boy said perfunctorily without rising from his seat.

"Trowa Barton." The olive eyed clown nodded, also choosing not to rise.

"**_Hee!_** I like his hair! It's-**_pffffft_**-awesome!" the girl who had been called Misaki, said shakily before beginning to quake in silent laughter, "H-h-how does he get it to st-st-st-**_stay_** that way?" she squeaked, almost caving to the greater good and laughing her ass off.

"Quatre Raberba Winner. It is a pleasure to meet you." The blonde pilot of Sandrock said decorously, bowing to the four girls and their father.

"_Cute with manners…"_ Mitsuki thought to herself wistfully, _"…why are the lookers always gay? Why?"_

"Chang Wufei. I warn you once: do not cross me." The Chinese boy growled.

"_Th-that guy…scares me."_ Michiru thought nervously, _"I wonder what he's doing here."

* * *

_

"Your turn, girls, and **NO _NAME SWITCHING!_**" Hatake barked, making everyone jump.

"Oh-okayeee. I'm Sugino Mikura. Howdy-doodie!" One smiled, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"S-S-Sugino Michi-chiru," another stuttered out nervously, pressing her fingers together out of agitation.

"Sugino Misaki. Nice to meet you!" A third grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"I'm Sugino Mitsuki. Hi…I guess." the fourth said offhandedly, giving a slight wave.

"Absent from our number is the eldest of the quints, Mimiru." Hatake sighed, "Now girls…these boys, they're here to protect you."

"…protect us, Dad?" Mikura blinked.

"Protect us from what exactly?" Misaki asked, eyes narrowing.

"…from…whomever's after your old man." Hatake replied tiredly, "There's no getting around it. I'm under attack girls, and your lives are at risk as well. These boys are here to ensure your safety."

"Wait, wait, wait." Mitsuki stammered, "Hold th' phone. Wh-what about at school? Doncha think people will ask questions when five strange guys start following us?"

"Oh I have that covered." Noin snickered, "They can pose as your boyfriends."

* * *

There was a silence. 

"**WHAT DID YOU _SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY?_**" The girls screamed together.

"Were you dropped on your **_head _**as an infant?" Mitsuki screeched, "All of us, Michiru included, are in **_serious relationships!_**"

"We're **_not _**gonna throw all that away because of some plan that, by the sound of it, you thought up while you were **_blitzed!_**" Mikura snarled.

"I've heard a lot of stupid things come out of peoples mouths, but this tops them all!" Misaki cried, throwing her hands into the air.

"Th-that's right." Michiru stammered, "Th-think up a **_new_** plan!"

"**GIRLS!**" Hatake bellowed, "That's **_enough!_** We all have to make sacrifices."

"Are you saying that we have to…just so they can…but…but Dad!" Mikura cried.

Sugino Hatake's expression never changed.

All four girls shot angered looks at the ground, before lifting their heads to reveal twisted, evil, maliciousgrins, all directed at their...bodyguards.

"We're gonna make your lives a living **HELL!**" they snickered.

And with that, all four began screaming at once, running back and forth until the pilots couldn't remember who was who, then the quartet of look-alikes shot off in four opposing directions.

"Oh man…now what?" Duo wondered aloud.

"Now you go find them while I brief Mr Sugino on the details." Noin said cheerfully, ushering the man out the door.

"But…but…" Quatre begged as Noin disappeared through the doorway.

"Good luck, boys." She called as the front door closed with an echoing **_-THM-_**

* * *

(A/N:The mysterious Mimiru returns from dance practice to find her house in chaos, five strange guys in her home, and her sister's in hiding. What will she do? R&R!) 


	2. Mission Brief: Arrival Of The Elder

(A/N: Yay! Next Chappie! WOOT! For all those who reviewed first chappie, THANK YOUUUUUUUU! I hope this chappie doesn't disappoint. READ ON!)

* * *

The Gundam stared at the carved mahogany door numbly, praying to every god they knew of that it would re-open and Noin would come back, laughing, saying that this was all just a sick joke and that they could leave now. 

One minute turned into three. And after a full ten minutes…they knew, to their absolute horror, that they were stuck with the four teenage doppelgangers.

"Ugh…fantastic." Duo groaned, "Whadd're we gonna do now? This house is a freakin' maze!"

"We'll just have to split up." Wufei grumbled, eyes squeezed shut in just barely contained rage, "Peh…women. It just **HAD** to be women."

"I'll take the east wing." Heero said robotically, "Trowa? You take the west. Duo, when you find the basement, search it. Wufei? Search the grounds. Quatre? You search the attic...once you locate the attic."

"Right." Quatre nodded, gulping hard as he took in the extensive flights of stairs .

"No problem." Duo said dismissively, trudging out of the living room in search of the basement, grumbling under his breath.

"_Who died and made him emperor?…such injustice." _Wufei thought to himself as he strode towards the door with a curt nod.

Trowa gave a nod of acknowledgement and went off in the direction of the West Wing, taking the stairs two at a time.

Heero turned to the East Wing and began his search.

* * *

**--ATTIC--**

"_Koff! Koff!_ Man! When was the last time this place was dusted?" Quatre choked out, gagging on the thick dust in the air.

The blonde Arab began checking between boxes, searching for any one of the four quints. By accident, he nearly knocked into what looked to be an ancient suit of samurai armor, scaring the aquamarine eyed teen half to death.

After catching his breath, he resumed his search, thinking after that scare, he would be prepared for anything else.

He was wrong.

He located one of them, Mikura to be exact, not one foot away from where he stood. But she didn't stay found for long. In her hand, she gripped a bullhorn, and she used it to full effect.

"**_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_**" She bellowed, showing off her pipes by nearly shattering Quatre's eardrums.

Hands flying to his ears and aquamarine eyes squeezing shut in pain, Quatre dropped to his knees, unable to hear Mikura as she bolted away laughing.

**--GROUNDS--**

"What in god's name did I do to deserve such a fate as this?" Wufei muttered under his breath as he stormed around the well-kept grounds.

He passed by a bush sculpted to look like an elephant, giving a snort of disgust as he passed when he saw the live lioness stalk past.

It noticed him, regarded him coolly, then walked off, dismissing him as unworthy prey.

"…_they must have a menagerie on the grounds."_ Wufei noted tetchily.

He was so busy being mad as a hornet, he failed to notice a quint, Mitsuki this time around, hiding in the bushes just by his feet, had poised to activate the sprinkler system with the turn of a knob.

An evil smirk on her lips, she gave the knob several quick, vicious twists, sending geysers of water rocketing at the last living member of the Dragon Clan from all sides.

"**WHAT EVIL IS _THIS?_**" Wufei shouted, or tried to as water shot into his mouth with enough force to choke him and make Mitsuki snicker as she reopened the secret passage she had crawled through, glancing back in time to see Wufei beginning to do battle with the sprinkler system.

Almost unable to control her laughter, Mitsuki crawled back through the concealed opening and sealed it seamlessly shut.

* * *

**--BASEMENT--**

"Geez, it's just my luck." Duo grumbled, "Why do I always get stuck in the places that would be better off bein' sets for a slasher flick?"

The sound of water dripping on the stone floor, the faint chittering of what Duo knew from years on the streets to be rats, but no foreign footsteps or giggles.

"This is **_sooooo_** stupid." Duo moaned, not noticing the figure sitting on a pipe above his head, legs aswinging. A figure with honey colored hair and green eyes. A quint. Misaki.

She smirked as she lifted a creature from a plastic terrarium on her lap. _"Alright Gamba, do your stuff."_ She giggled internally, lowering the animal down.

Duos felt a cold weight press against his shoulder and begin to wind around his neck. It didn't take him long to put two and two together.

"**_SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!_**" he cried, smacking the thing away and dashing back up the stairs not pausing to see Misaki retract the serpent, laughing hysterically.

**--EAST WING--**

Heero opened door after door, scoured room after room, but still no luck. It was as though the four quintuplets had become dust and blown away with the wind.

He opened another door, carefully, quietly. Heero's eyes narrowed. He'd located one of the quints. She was typing away on a computer while lounging on her bed.

He stalked in silently, prepared to knock her out and drag her downstairs, but when he made his move, bringing the back of his fist down on the back of her head…she kept on typing and his hand passed through her.

"A hologram!" Heero hissed as a loud clanking sound caught his attention. Too little, too late though as a metal cage crashed down on the perfect soldier from the ceiling.

Heero shot forward and gripped the bars, only to be forced back by an electrical charge. Another sound. Heero whipped his head around as the closet door slid open and one of the quints crawled out. Michiru this time.

"Uh…uh-um…" she stammered, quaking at the anger glinting in the Prussian blue of Heero's eyes, "P-PLEASE JUST GO AWAY!" she cried before sprinting from the room.

* * *

**--WEST WING--**

Trowa had searched the West Wing top to bottom and had found nothing. He was on his way back to the living room when his well-trained ears heard a key turn in the lock (what is he, half dog?)

"Man oh man…I've** got** t' tell Michi to stop experimenting on the grounds." A female voice echoed, laced with annoyance as the front door opened, "That's the third sprinkler system she's destroyed this week."

Trowa stalked forward silently and peered around the corner.

It was another of the quints. But…this one wasn't dressed the same as the others. She was dressed in close-fitting black jeans and a black tank top that showed off her abdomen. Her face had a fine sheen of sweat and her honey colored hair was streaked with grease.

"…_this must be Mimiru."_ Trowa observed as the absentee tossed a duffel bag aside and took an exasperated look around the living room.

"Lamp overturned…" she mumbled, "…rug flipped…Ming vase on the floor, Dad's gonna be thrilled with that one…orchid knocked over…table upturned…couch on it's back. Sheez! This is worse than usual! What the hell happened?"

She raked her fingers back through her greasy and gave a tired sigh.

"I beg your pardon." Trowa murmured, revealing his location as he stepped forward, giving the fifth quint a sweeping bow, "The current condition of your living room…is partially our fault."

Eyes widening a bit in surprise before sliding to half mast, Mimiru strode forward, scrutinizing Trowa thoroughly.

"Hmm…you don't look like any of the burglars I've dealt with before." She noted, grabbing the end of Trowa's hair experimentally with her finger before releasing it., "But then again, what kind of burglar would go and announce themselves? So…what's your deal?"

"I have been assigned by the Preventer's organization to safeguard the Sugino family." Trowa said quietly, showing his identification as Mimiru folded her arms and let loose another annoyed sigh.

"I see. So _**that's**_ what had Dad so wound up." Mimiru muttered, "I wish he would have told me, but he hates it when I worry." She shot a somewhat rueful glance at Trowa, "I take it my sisters aren't too pleased with this arrangement?"

Trowa shook his head.

* * *

"Ughh…my head." 

"**_INJUSTICE!_ SOMEONE WILL _PAY_ FOR THIS!**"

"Man, I hate this. I really do."

Pilots four, five and two stumbled out of the wood work. Quatre looked rather dizzy, holding his pounding head as he tottered down the stairs. Wufei looked like a drowned rat as he stormed through the front door. Duo looked rather white and shaken as he scurried out of a corridor just beneath the stairs.

Mimiru gave Trowa a skeptical look. "Friends of yours?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Trowa nodded again as the three other Gundam Pilots noticed the fifth quint.

"**_There's one!_**" Quatre cried, a throb of pain shooting through his head as he did so.

"**GRAB HER!**" Wufei and Duo yelled, launching themselves at her.

"Don't touch me perverts." Mimiru said calmly, "Unless you want me to have you arrested on sexual harassment charges."

That last little comment brought Duo and Wufei to a screeching halt about a foot and a half away from the eldest of the quintuplets.

"You've **got** to tell me where you get your brakes tuned." Mimiru said dryly, "So I take it my sibs are giving you a run for your money, huh?"

"**What?**" Quatre asked loudly, wincing at his own voice.

"Ahhh…and I see Miku dug her megaphone out from under the bed." Mimiru noted, walking forward and placing her hands over the blonde Arab's ears, "Here. This should help. Just focus on the sound of my pulse."

Doing as he was told, Quate focus his pounding eardrums on the soft rushing sound of the eldest quint's blood coursing through her veins...the sound of her heart pumping; the softness of the sounds forcing him to concentrate and forget his pain. (I've done this after going to a Metallica Concert. It really works.)

"…it is helping somewhat." Quatre murmured with a sigh of relief.

"How did you know to do that?" Duo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"My mom used to do this for me after her concerts." Mimiru said evenly, "She used to be an opera singer you know."

* * *

The eldest quintuplet then removed her hands from Quatre's ears. 

"Better?" she asked.

"Mm." he nodded.

"Good. Now onto the matter of rounding up my sibs." Mimiru said, walking over to her bag that had landed by the television, which was thankfully undamaged. She fished around in her duffel bag and retrieved her i-Pod and began scrolling through her songs list, a slightly discomfited look on her face.

"I really hate to do this." She muttered strolling over to the speaker jack, "But it's the only way to draw them out."

Mimiru tossed a glance at Duo. "Hey braid boy. Hands over Blondie's ears. This is gonna be real loud, real annoying, and real mortifying…for me."

That having been said, she cranked the volume up to eleven and with a groan, she hit play.

_Ma-ia hii  
Ma-ia huu  
Ma-ia hoo  
Ma-ia haha (x4)_

There was a soft clack heard over the music as a trapdoor in the ceiling opened and a quint, Mitsuki stuck her head out. Another clack was from a different trapdoor being opened in the floor near Wufei's feet, making him jump back slightly in surprise as another quint, Misaki this time, exposed her own head. There was a soft screech heard (I mean, soft compared to the music) and a secret passage opened up in the wall beside a bookcase and the two remaining quints, Mikura and Michiru, emerged.

_Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc  
si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso  
ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic  
Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic.  
_

The four quints began to dance spastically, running into each other and priceless objects, and not really giving a damn. Mimiru buried her face in her hands, massaged her temples as thought trying to relieve some unknown tension, then walked quickly over to the speaker jack and ripped the i-Pod from it.

_Vrei sa pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei  
Nu-mã, nu-mã iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei  
Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi._

**_clnk_**

"Huh?" all for girls said at once as the music abrputly stopped.

"You're an embarrassment to dancers everywhere." Mimiru said a faint pink tinge in her cheeks that had definitely not been brought on by hip-hop practice earlier that afternoon.

"Oh! Hey si-!"

**_BUHBONKBONKBONKBONK_**

"**OWUCH!**" they howled, clutching their skulls after Mimiru clocked them.

"Could you **possibly** be more immature? Attacking the ones sent to protect you-unbelievable."Mimiru said coolly, switching her hair into a messy, greasy ponytail, and shooting a look dripping with cynicism at the G-Boys, "I'm related to this…and just thinking upon it depresses me."

"Hey!" Misaki cried, "Watch it!"

"You don't know the half of it!" Mikura growled, "We halfta break up with our men just so these…these…these idiots can protect us!"

"That means you have to break up with Sky, Mimi." Mitsuki said coldly.

"So?" Mimiru shrugged, "Better to lose my relationship than my life."

Her sisters gaped at her.

"I'm young." Mimiru said calmly, "It's not like I'm gonna settle down right now. I'll just tell him as much as I can and let him down gently."

"Wow…you really are a bitch Mimi." Mikura snorted.

"Hey, if you're willing to die for a relationship that probably wouldn't last through high school, be my guest." Mimiru shrugged, "Sorry if I seem heartless, but…I choose life."

She then stalked towards the stairway declaring:

"I'm going to bed. If any of you decides to wake me, they're gonna have a lunch date with Jasmine, understand?"

Misaki, Michiru, Mitsuki and Mikura gulped and nodded while the G-boy's stared blankly as Mimiru strode casually up the stairs.

"We'll decide who's being guarded by who tomorrow by luck of the draw." Mimiru called peaceably as she turned around a corner, "It's too late in the evening to make such big decisions. Mitsuki? Show them to their rooms. No tricks. And Michiru? Who ever that is in your room in the cage? Let them out now."

"Eep!" Michiru squeaked as she darted up the stairs,"I f-f-forgot about Yuy-san!"

Mitsuki grumbled under her breath, "Well, come on. I don't wanna be lion food."

_"Lion food? What li-ohhhh."_ Wufei thought as he recalled the lioness prowling the grounds with a the bareset hints of a smile on his lips.

* * *

(A/N: Morning comes and names are drawn from a hat. Then off to school they go, where the girls part ways with their boyfirends, but will they take "It's Over" for an answer? R&R!) 


	3. Mission Brief: I Didn't SignUp For THIS!

(AN: Sniff! So sad. No reviews last chapter. Hopefully I'll get at least one this time around. Phwuhhh...Read on!)

* * *

The next morning, the Gundam Pilots witnessed, what they had mutually voted, one of the creepiest things ever. 

The Sugino Quints, all five of them, watching Invader Zim in PJ's and eating breakfast in unison. And we're talking perfect synchronization here people. Robots couldn't top this.

Dip spoon, lift spoon, open mouth, munchmunchmunch, swallow, repeat. Dip spoon, lift spoon, open mouth, munchmunchmunch, swallow, repeat. Dip spoon, lift spoon, open mouth, munchmunchmunch, swallow, repeat. Dip spoon, lift spoon, open mouth, munchmunchmunch, swallow, repeat. Unbe-freakin'-lievably creepy.

Duo was seriously considering heaving something heavy at them to see if they made a metallic sound but Quatre, sensing the danger, was quicker and tapped one of the quintuplets on the shoulder.

"Mm? Heh Qwafwah!" Mitsuki said through a mouthful of sausage only to have Mimiru's fist collide with the underside of her jaw.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Mimiru said calmly as Mitsuki let loose a yelp of pain as her teeth clacked down on her tongue.

"That was **_seriously mean_**, Mimi!" Misaki cried.

"**Yeah!**" Mitsuki whimpered, hands clutching her wounded mouth, "That **_really_** hurt!"

"A-are you okay?" Michiru asked worriedly.

"Tell me something…" Mimiru asked coolly, collecting her dishes, "…are you a girl…or not? Because this latest display has given me serious doubts."

"**HEY!**" Mikura cried, "She talked with her **mouth full!** Big whoopdiedoo!"

"And chewed with her mouth open as well." Mimiru said blandly, striding towards the kitchen, "And you'll have to excuse me if watching half masticated cow lolling around in your wide…gaping…trap…puts me off my food."

Her sisters shot glares at her back and stuck their tongues out at her.

"While your busy working your mouths, girls…" Mimiru called offhandedly over her shoulder, "Show the boys where the breakfast things are."

Four tongues disappeared back into their owner's mouths and scowls replaced them.

* * *

Much to the G-Boy's surprise however, no matter how sulky the four younger quintuplets appeared, they complied with the orders of their elder. They quickly learned that Mimiru, as oldest, had more sway and influence over her siblings. 

Soon after eating, Mikura was tearing up strips of paper and passing out pens while Michiru nervously fidgeted with a hat she held in her hands.

"What are we supposed to do with these?" Wufei asked snidely.

"Write your name down." Mitsuki replied, "We're deciding who's guarding who by luck of the draw."

"I see." Trowa murmured, having already written his name down.

"It sounds reasonable enough." Duo muttered, scribbling his name down.

"Let's get this over with." Heero said calmly, popping the cap back on the pen.

"Here you are." Quatre said, giving his slip to Michiru, who took it apprehensively.

Misaki then took the floppy felt hat from her twitchy sibling and with a wild grin, shook it maliciously, before handing it off to Mimiru.

"Alright." The eldest quint said coolly, "We'll do this in accordance to age. Youngest to oldest. Miku? You're up."

Mikura strode up, rifled through the hat, selected a slip without looking and stepped back.

"Mitsu? Your turn." Mimiru said, giving the hat a little shake as Mitsuki strode forward, dipped her hand in and came away with a slip.

"Michi? Come on." Mimiru said with a little nod as Michiru gave a nervous little squeak before coming to select her strip.

"Misa? It's down to you and me." Mimiru said calmly as she and Misaki dove their hands into the hat, retrieving the last two slips.

"On the count of three." Mimiru said, glancing around her siblings faces, "One. Two Three."

The hands holding the paper flew apart and scrutinized the names that were written there.

* * *

"**WOOHOO!**" Mitsuki whooped, doing a very spazzy victory dance, "I got Blondie!" 

Quatre blushed a little.

Michiru gave a frightened screech and dropped her slip, which Misaki retrieved before it hit the hardwood floor.

"Huh-Heero**_ Yuy?_** **HA-HA-HA!**" Misaki crowed, doubling over with laughter.

Heero locked his eyes on the cowering girl and glared viciously as he recalled the night before.

"**_EEEEEEK!_**" Michiru sobbed.

"And who did I get?" Misaki wondered aloud, taking in her slip, "**_Chang Wufei!_** Alright! I like my men on the stoic side!"

"Ancestors…why have you forsaken me?" Wufei moaned, staring at the sky, "What have I done wrong? What can I do to rectify it?"

"_Sweeet!_" Mikura whistled, "I gots me a **_bruuuuunette!_** Trowa! Strong and silent!"

Trowa said nothing but began quietly looking over the room for a means of escape.

"And I got…hey, which one of you is Maxwell?" Mimiru asked, glancing around mildly.

"That would be me!" the braided boy grinned.

"Well, it's you and me." Mimiru said, a small smirk beginning to form on her lips, "And be thankful you got stuck with me. The other four have to crossdress."

* * *

There was a silence. 

"Excuse me?" Wufei growled, grabbing Mimiru by the collar, "Do you mind explaining yourself, wench?"

"If you don't enjoy the prospect of being lion food…you wont ever call me wench again." Mimiru said calmly, swatting his hand away brusquely.

"What do you mean…cruh-cruh-crossdress?" Quatre stammered, face now an interesting shade of red.

"Apparently your superior didn't fill you in on our schooling situation." Mikura grinned.

"Michi and Miku go to St. Augustine's School for Girls." Mitsuki said mischievously.

"Absolutely no boys _**allow-owed**_." Misaki sang.

"A-a-and Misa and Mitsu g-go to C-C-Crystalview Academy." Michiru stammered.

"It's coed…but they keep the boys and girls on separate sides." Mimiru smirked, not noticing as Heero and Trowa's eyes widened considerably in shock.

"Duo lucked out." Mikura commented, ignoring the horrified looks on Wufei and Quatre's faces.

"Mimi convinced Daddy to let her go to Yuzuriha High, the public school." Misaki said matter-of-factly.

"Wait a minute." Trowa said quickly, trying to conceal his disgust, "You just said that Crystalview is co-ed."

"Th-that's **right!**" Quatre cried, aquamarine eyes wide and frightened at the prospects of make up and miniskirts, "Why do we have to crossdress if-!"

"We already **_told_** you!" Mitsuki grinned, looking up at him craftily, "The boy's and girl's sides are **separate!**"

"It'll be difficult for you guys to 'protect us' if you can't get near us." Mikura giggled playfully.

"As for you two, ya don't really have a choice." Misaki said smugly, "They wouldn't let you two near with a ten foot pole."

"S-St. Augustine's is g-g-g-girl's only." Michiru stuttered out, quelling under Heero and Wufei's vicious glares.

"So that's the deal." Mimiru said coolly, "You can borrow some of our mother's old wigs if necessary and the Freakish Four, I'm sure, would be more than happy to do your make up."

* * *

"…wigs?" Wufei whispered, narrow eyes wide with dread. 

"Muh-Make…up?" Quatre squeaked.

"**_WOOHOO!_**" Misaki squealed, "Just like **old times!**"

"Who should we do first?" Mitsuki wondered aloud as Duo tried to contain his laughter.

"Let's do **_Baby Face!_**" Mikura shrieked, gloming Quatre around the neck, making the blonde Arab's eyes widen in panic.

"E-excellent idea, Miku." Michiru said, the barest hints of a smile forming.

"**Mitsu!** Go get that really nice blonde wig from Mom's room! The curly one!" Misaki instructed as she shoved poor Quatre into a chair.

"**_I'm on it!_**" Mitsuki cried, darting up the stairs.

"**Michi!** Go grab the make up cases out of our rooms!" Mikura cried, turning the unfortunate blonde Arab's face left and right, head filling with ideas.

"O-okay." Michiru said, before running up the stairs as Mitsuki ran down, wig in hand.

"I'll grab the uniforms!" Misaki volunteered, quickly dashing after Michiru.

Within the space of two minutes, Quatre was surrounded by four, identical, giggling faces, armed with lipstick, eyeshadow, foundation, blush, eyelash curlers and tweezers.

Quatre let loose little squeaks and squeals of protests as the implements of torture began their special work.

"Just like when we we're kids." Mimiru nodded as Quatre let out a loud yelp as Misaki dug in too hard to his scalp with a bobbypin, "Except…when we were kids, I would have put a stop to this long ago."

After about fifteen minutes, the crowd of doppelgangers parted…to reveal a very pretty "girl".

The lines of Quatre's already feminine jawbone had been softened, long blonde ringlets curled about his…"breasts", and the addition of the Crystalview uniform made him look disturbingly pretty.

"Q, you make a really pretty girl." Mitsuki grinned, hugging him tight as Quatre's face flushed in mortification.

Wufei lost control and let loose a snort of laughter, and the four quints holding the make up locked their eyes on him.

"**_YOU'RE NEXT!_**" They cried, tackling the protesting Chinese teen.

* * *

Mimiru slipped a pair of rollerblades on, ignoring the chaos that was her home, then glided swiftly towards the exit, grabbing Duo by the braid and dragging him out the mahogony double doors. 

"Come on Maxwell." Mimiru said dryly, "Let's leave them to their fun."

"Aww…but I wanna see Wu-man, Hero-boy and T-ball as girls!" Duo protested as she released his braid and let him walk at his own pace.

"Don't worry." Mimiru said wryly, skating slowly so she wouldn't leave Duo behind, "If I know my sibs like I think I do, they'll definitely take pictures."

"They better." Duo smirked as he walked along, "I want duplicates."

"Have plans I take it?" Mimiru said sardonically as she skated next to the braided boy.

"Let's just say I know some doctor's who'll pay good money for those pics." Duo snickered.

"**OI! _MIMI!_**"

"Mm?" Mimiru and Duo glanced over their shoulders, "Oh hey Sky."

A teenage boy with dyed short black hair with long red bangs and multiple piercings dashed up and wrapped an arm around Mimiru's waist.

_"So this is Mimi's boyfriend, eh?"_ Duo thought with a tiny smirk, _"Funny…he doesn't look her type."_

"Hey, Sky?" Mimiru said, lacing her fingers with his, "Can we talk? It's really important."

"Sure." Sky said, looking a little surprised as Mimiru led him some distance away and began speaking to him in hushed tones.

_"And so it begins."_ Duo thought to himself, _"I wonder how the guys-I mean girls are doing? Heh heh…and how the other Sugino's are doing?"_

* * *

"Please understand." 

"It's not you. It's me."

"Try to find someone who'll make you happier than I could, okay?"

"I…**I**…**_I'MSORRY!_**"

Mikura turned on her heel and walked back to where Trowa, in full female garb, complete with long brunette wig, awaited her.

Mitsuki walked past her dumbfounded ex to where Quatre, shifting nervously on his feet was waiting for her patiently.

Misaki walked unhappily away to where Wufei, looking as pissy as a wet cat in long black pigtails and full makeup, stood waiting edgily.

Michiru ran smack into Heero, who, with the right make up, frighteningly enough, made a very attractive girl.

"How **dare** that little…" Hatozaki Tsunuga growled viciously, slamming a fist into the concrete wall as he reflected upon Mikura's words.

"No way. **_Nobody_** breaks up with me." João Taveres snarled, palms bleeding from where his fingernails had broken the skin, enraged by Mitsuki clean split.

"Who does she** think** she is?" Roy Delgado said through gritted teeth, growing angrier with each passing second, refusing to accept Misaki's rejection.

"Using a line **_that_** old? Like **hell** I'm letting it end this way." EagleBromwell snarled, knowing that Michiru, with her meek demeanor, would come running back if he ordered her to.

"This_** isn't**_ over!"

* * *

"So that's it in a nutshell." Mimiru said calmly, looking up and carefully inspecting Sky Manyu's pale blue eyes, "You gonna be okay?" 

The teen looked at the shorter girl uncertainly, but nodded.

"Yeah." Sky said dejectedly, "I just…I just can't believe that this is it. Just like that."

"Don't think of it as good bye." Mimiru said, giving Sky a quick kiss on the cheek, "Think of it as…see you later."

With that she skated back to where Duo waited for her patiently.

"Hey…Mimi?" Sky said suddenly, making both the green eyed girl and violet eyed boy turn to face him.

A look of concern filled Sky's face, "Be careful, Mimi."

"…I will be." She replied.

"So…what did you tell'm?" Duo asked mildly as they continued on the path to Yuzuriha High.

"As much as possible…without jeopardizing your mission." Mimiru said, "Just as I said I would. However, I highly doubt my sibs did the same."

"You think they went for straight breakups?" Duo asked.

"Mm." Mimiru nodded as the high school loomed into view, "Meaning-"

"-we'll not only be dealing with this terrorist threat, but their jealous ex's." Duo groaned as they passed through the gates, "Tuh-riffic."

* * *

(A/N: The aftermath of girl's school! An attack on Michiru. Surprises galore. And where's Sugino Hatake in all of this? R&R!) 


	4. Mission Brief: Skirts and Scrapes

(A/N: WEEE! Reviews! I gots me some reviews last chappie! To all of you who reviewed, Ah luuuuv yeeew! Now, on with the fic!)

* * *

Wufei bit his lower lips trying his best to go into a meditative state so as to shut out the giggly whispers of the estrogen-charged, teenage girls about him. 

"So pretty."

"Beautiful hair."

"So thin."

"Gorgeous eyes."

"Such long legs."

Wufei, or, as Misaki had laughingly re-named him, "Chun Li Xiang" (she's a Street Fighter fan!), growled irritably as the comments drilled themselves into his ears.

He was only forced to think back upon the events that had led him to be in his current situation: in a skirt, in make up and in full view of the public.

Mitsuki, Mikura, Michiru and Misaki hadn't been nearly strong enough to pin him down and he had easily broken free.

But then Quatre, not about to be the only one made up, and Trowa and Heero, their unwavering sense of militaristic duty overriding their pride as men, had decided to leap in and help.

With the three remaining Gundam pilots pinning him to a chair, the Freakish Four had gone to drastic lengths to make sure he stayed there; they brought out the duct tape.

Wufei, or Chun Li, let loose a growl as he recalled the barest hints of a smirk on that sadist Heero Yuy's face as Mikura had forced the skirt over his thighs.

"**Yo! _HEADS UP!_**" a panicked voice cried.

Wufei, coming out of his reverie abruptly, glanced up and gave a yelp of surprise as he barely dodged out of the way of a soccer ball rocketing towards his head.

"**Wu**-I mean, **_Chun Li!_** Are you okay?" Misaki cried, rushing up to Pilot Five.

Wufei glared up at her.

"I'd be a lot **better** if I wasn't stuck with **you**." He snarled.

"Aw, **_c'mon!_** Y'know ya love me!" Misaki grinned.

"Does a **death wish** incite you to speak to me that way, woman?" Wufei growled maliciously.

* * *

Trowa Barton, or "Teiala Benton", reached back absently and scratched the nape of his neck. 

This was the fifth time in the space of three minutes he had done so.

But hey? Some people take more time adjusting to wigs than others.

He sat in the rigid wooden desk, tapping the tip of his pencil against the desk as he awaited the arrival of the teacher with Mikura.

Trowa had noticed almost immediately that he had been the subject of many whispers, stares and giggles, but as was his nature, he tuned them out.

He vacantly stared at the whiteboard as he reflected on his…makeover.

Wufei, fully feminized and cursing in three different languages (Chinese, Japanese and English) stood in the corner looking five kinds of pissed.

Quatre, looking unbelievably self-conscious, kept grabbing the hem of his pleated skirt and tugging it as far down as humanly possibly.

Admiring their handywork for a few moments, all four turned to face Trowa with over enthused, rather creepy, identical smiles on their faces.

"_Troooooooooooooooowa_." Mitsuki sang softly.

"Guess who's turn it is?" Mikura grinned.

"Mine I presume." Trowa said calmly.

"**DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!**" Misaki cried in a surprisingly loud voice.

"Y-you win the prize f-f-for most ins-sightful." Michiru smiled as Trowa sat down.

_-thap-_

Trowa blinked a something hit him square in the back of the head; a folded paper football with writing on the side- READ ME.

Unfolding it carefully, Trowa found himself reading a rather short note from Mikura.

M- Hey dude! What's th' haps?

Taking up the pen he had previously been tapping away with, he scribbled down a quick message, expertly refolded the paper and flicked it back.

Mikura caught it in her out stretched hands and quickly unfurled the paper and read what Trowa had jotted down.

M- Hey dude! What's th' haps?

_T- This hair is truly annoying. I don't know how you put up with it…and my legs are really cold. So bothersome._

Mikura choked back a laugh and wrote down another note sending it flying back to Trowa.

The two continued in this vein, flicking the folded paper football back and forth between each other, only pausing momentarily to jot down a quick note, for the rest of the period.

_-flk-_

_-flk-_

_-flk-

* * *

_

Quatre Raberba Winner, or "Quarisa Wittier" as Mitsuki was now oh, so happily calling him, sighed unhappily.

He had always known about the things people said about him behind his back; things about him being effeminate, gay and the like, but he had always been able to ignore them.

As long as he himself knew that he was straight, even if he did draw unwanted attention from men, that was all that mattered.

But now Quatre was finally drawing attention from girls that weren't the twenty nine he happened to be related to…and it was truly creeping him out-and for good reason.

Not a one of the, save Mitsuki, knew Quatre was a boy…and thinking upon that fact and that one or nine of them were eyeing his ass was more than enough to send chills shooting up his spine.

He fidgeted with the barely-knee-length St. Augustine regulation skirt and let loose an aggravated sigh.

And he thought attacking the White Fang Organization was bad. Nuh-uh. This one topped it easily. Yes, this by far, without question, was his worst mission to date.

Quatre's scalp still stung painfully from where Mikura had gotten a little too enthusiastic with the bobbypins and he had to keep fighting the incredible urge to rub the thick layers of makeup from his face, tear the wig off his head and run screaming to Sand Rock.

"Hey Q!" Mitsuki said brightly, bringing Quatre slamming back to reality as the pair walked towards the music room, "Why so down?"

As he caught yet another girl blushing as she stared at…"Quarisa's" chest, another sigh was freed.

"It's just the whole crossdressing thing." Quatre mumbled, "It's just so unsettling having girls grope me with their eyes like this."

Mitsuki's face broke into a malicious grin.

"And why wouldn't they, Q?" she snickered wickedly, draping an arm over his shoulders, and whispering into his ear, "You're very cute after all…boy _OR_ girl!"

Quatre's face then tinged pink as Mitsuki darted away from him.

"**That's _NOT_ FUNNY!**" he cried, chasing after the laughing girl, "**Get _BACK_ HERE!**"

* * *

Heero Yuy, or "Himeka Yumehoshi", knitted his eyebrows together in concentration as he focused on the experiment in front of him. 

Today was proving…interesting to say the least.

The make up application for himself and Trowa proved to take much longer than the other pilots and after about fifteen minutes of sitting completely still, even for the Perfect Soldier, it had proved immensely difficult to fight the urge to fidget.

Now Heero sat on the wooden stool, cold beneath his bare thighs, in the Science Lab next to an unbelievably jittery Michiru.

She had done everything within her power, Heero noted, to keep out of his way and not get him angry at her; she answered his every question automatically, if somewhat difficult to understand because of her stutter, and avoided direct eye contact.

"Y-Y-Yumehoshi-san…p-please pass th-th-the s-sodium." Michiru murmured quietly, watching their nitric acid mixture carefully as she extended her hand to accept the bottle "Himeka" held out.

Heero's eyes focused on Wufei and Mikura, sitting towards the front of the room, thoroughly engrossed by their argument over who should do the note taking and who should mix chemicals.

A loud scream beside him made Heero's head snap back around to Michiru, cradling her hand and howling pain, the beaker that had held their chemical mixture was now shattered over the counter top and embedded in Michiru's burnt and bleeding hand.

As the teacher rushed the now bawling Michiru from the room, Heero now inspected the chemicals he and Michiru had been handling.

One by one, they checked out fine…until he reached the Sodium. The label peeled away easily, revealing another underneath, which read: _**HYDRAZINE**_.

Heero's eyes narrowed, infuriated that he hadn't caught this. He knew, from his intense chemical weapons training, that when Hydrazine and Nitric Acid are mixed, they explode.

Of course, Heero wasn't allowed long to berate himself, as Mikura, rubbing her own left hand to rid herself of some unknown pain, patted him on the shoulder and jerked her thumb towards the doorway as she jogged out.

* * *

"Man…I wonder who got hurt this time." Mimiru mumbled on the way to her classic dance training as Duo gave her a look. 

"Whaddya mean?" he asked, eyebrow quirked.

"I mean, my left hand hurts and I haven't done anything to it." Mimiru replied, "It feels like the time Misaki dropped a chicken potpie, fresh from the broiler, on my wrist. So I'm wondering who did what to themselves."

Duo then traded in his weirded out looked for a creeped out one.

"Freaky quint thing strikes again." He mumbled, remembering breakfast that morning.

"More or less." Mimiru said dryly as the two approached a building with huge window panes, through which at least a dozen couples could been seen practicing the tango, samba, merengue, rumba or salsa.

No sooner had the pair walked through the doors than a middle aged man with a stylish crewcut dashed up crying, "**_Sugino!_** You're here! Good! Go weigh up!"

"Take a pill, Schickelmeyer." Mimiru snorted wryly, rolling her eyes as she shifted off her backpack and strolled towards the rear of the building, Duo hot on her heels.

Mimiru, noticing,stopped.

Duo stopped.

Mimiru took a single step forward and Duo followed suit.

Mimiru let loose a sigh and murmured, "What are you doing?"

"My job." Duo retorted swiftly.

"Does your job include watching me strip down to my skivvies and weigh myself, pervert?" Mimiru asked sarcastically.

Duo's jaw dropped momentarily at a loss for words as Mimiru made her way into the changing rooms to be weighed.

* * *

"So **_Michi's_** the one who got hurt!" Mitsuki cried upon seeing the bandages wrapped around Michiru's hand after arriving home. 

"Michiru, what on **earth** happened?" Quatre cried upon seeing Michiru's injured left hand, "Are you in very much pain?"

"**OHMIGOD! _MICHI!_**" Misaki screeched dropping her pom-poms (yup, the loud one is a cheerleader) and hurling herself at the injured girl, "**ARE YOU _OKAY?_**"

Trowa didn't say anything, just got in close and inspected the bandaged appendage closely.

"It happened during Science." Wufei muttered, ears ringing from the sheer volume of Misaki's voice.

He was a little tense at the moment; spending the entire day as a girl, only to then be dragged to the nurse's office by your charge just to listen to her sister scream like a banshee had worn the Chinese teen down to his last nerve.

"I-it's alright, really." Michiru said sheepishly, a little out of it fromthe painkillers she had been given andcoloring slightly at all the attention, "It l-looks worse th-th-than it actually i-is."

"She only says that cuz she's a pain wimp." Mikura said matter-of-factly, not even bothering to conceal how red and puffy her face was from crying right along with Michiru in the nurse's office.

"Who's a pain wimp?" Duo asked walking through the front door with Mimiru who looked as though the world was about to come to a cataclysmic end.

"Michiru." Heero replied tersely, still peeved that his ward had been the first to be assaulted.

"Huh?" Michiru blinked, taking in Mimiru's look of utter and total despair, "M-Mimi, w-w-what's wrong?"

"I just can't believe it." Mimiru mumbled numbly, "How could this happen?"

"How could what happen?" Quatre pressed, "What's going on, Duo?"

"Dunno." The braided boy shrugged, "She's been like this since she weighed in at her practice hall."

A look of realization filled the Freakish Four's faces and the shot sympathetic looks Mimiru's way.

"How much is it?" Misaki asked.

"Five…pounds." Mimiru replied torpidly, eyes glazed, "I've dropped…five…pounds. This…this is horrible."

* * *

The G-Boys were completely floored. 

"Wait, wait, wait." Duo said, motioning for Mimiru to stop right where she was, "I thought you girls went over the moon when you dropped a pound or three. What's the deal?"

"You obviously haven't dealt with dancers much." Mitsuki smirked, "It isn't about 'weight' per say."

"It's about 'weight ratios'." Mikura said smugly, "If in a pairs couple, one or both of them drops or gains a few pounds, it completely throws off the footwork, throws and lifts of their routine!"

"Th-that's right." Michiru stammered, "Either one of th-them could b-b-be seriously hurt. M-Mimi's last p-p-partner tore his ACL b-because he lost weight."

"He didn't know, so I misjudged how hard to throw him during a hip-hop routine." Mimiru said, raking her fingers back roughly through her hair, "I'm gonna have to start carbo-loading again. God damn it this sucks."

She stalked towards the kitchen but paused when she saw the phone's message light blinking.

"Hey guys keep it down." Mimiru called, into the living room, "We've got a message."

"Dya think its Daddy?" Misaki squealed, dashing to the phone, "I really miss'm."

"_Shh!_" Mikura hissed, going over to smack Misaki in the back of the head, "I can't hear, you dork!"

"All of you just **shut** **_up!_**" Mitsuki snarled, not moving from her seat on the sofa.

Michiru didn't say much of anything, the Valium she had taken earlier was finally kicking in and she was beginning to fall asleep.

_-"Hello. This is Baronet Lucrezia Noin of the Preventers Federation. I'm calling to inform you, Mimiru, Misaki, Michiru, Mitsuki, and Mikura of the latest events. While it was our prior intent to merely brief your father, Sugino Hatake, a violent attack en route to Federation headquarters has brought us to the conclusion that he should remain on base until the threat is dispersed. We will be in touch with any further details."-_

Three jaws simultaneously dropped as Mikura, Mitsuki and Misaki gaped in disbelief.

Mimiru gave a slight nod of acceptanceand walked into the kitchen to get a snack.

Michiru gave a light snore.

_

* * *

_

(A/N: The ex's begin to exact their revenge! Another quint is assaulted, and much, much more! R&R!)


	5. Mission Brief: One, Two, Buckle My Shoe

(A/N: Hey there! To all my reviewers: AH LUV YEW! Now, on with the fic!)

* * *

"This…sucks." Mitsuki mumbled dully, tossing a soccerball into the air in a less than enthusiastic manner and catching it, "This sucks **_major_** ass, dude." 

It had been about twenty minutes since the dreaded message, informing the Sugino Quints of their father's 'extended absence', had been played and they were taking it pretty hard.

But then again, who wouldn't?

Misaki, after a tantrum that had lasted twelve minutes, had stalked outside and thrown herself into a series of stretches and gymnastics she need to practice for a cheer competition in two weeks.

Wufei of course, muttering under his breath about 'weak, childish women', was obligated to follow as was his duty as her bodyguard.

Michiru had retreated to the sanctity of her room, to continue work on a computer program she'd been tinkering around with for some time, which was proving slightly difficult using only one hand.

Heero, instinctively followed, but wary after what had happened the first time he'd entered her room, he kept watch from the safety of the doorjamb.

Mitsuki had taken out her soccerball and was lying flat on her back, tossing it into the air, and catching in slow succession.

Quatre, after opening his mouth several times to say something to her, closed it, walked to a nearby bookcase, selecting a rather thick book and began reading, watching his charge over the top of the covers.

Mikura had gone into the lower levels of the Sugino home after changing into her kendo uniform. She then promptly began cleaving the air before her with the bokuto in her hands.

Trowa, silent as ever, took to watching the youngest of the Sugino Quints vent from the corner of the room, arms folded and eyes narrowed.

* * *

Mimiru had retreated to an upper floor of the mansion that Sugino Hatake had converted into a dance studio for her (upon her mother's request) and began practicing a hip-hop routine. 

Duo, of course, was right there with her, having followed her up the umpteen flights of stairs to the studio. He leaned against the mirrored wall, whistling slightly as Mimiru flipped herself into a handless cartwheel.

After sticking the landing, Mimiru turned to face him, cutting the routine short.

"Mr. Maxwell…I'll have to request that you either A) leave, or B) be quiet." She said dryly, "You're becoming a distraction, and unless you have some intention of dancing, I'd highly suggest you opt for option A)."

Duo twitched a bit, then a thoughtful look crossed his face and was quickly replaced by a crafty smirk.

"I think I'll go with option C) dance." Duo said cheerfully, moving away from the mirrored wall.

"**_You_** know how to dance?" Mimiru snorted, resting on her hip, arms folded, "Why do I find that oh so hard to believe?"

"**OH!** Your words have cut me to the quick, madam!" Duo cried in an overly dramatic fashion, swooping in to rest his left hand on her waist and clasp her right in his own, "Prepared to be amazed, Dancing Queen."

Mimiru narrowed her green eyes challengingly and twisted her lips into a smirk, "We'll see who leads who, Mr. Maxwell."

* * *

Misaki collapsed to ground after practicing an extremely difficult section of gymnastics for over half an hour, thoroughly soaked with sweat and gasping for breath. 

Wufei quirked an eyebrow when Misaki, rage thoroughly vented and a self-satisfied smirk on her lips, tottered to her feet and began to make her way to the house.

Wufei thought back upon his earlier statement, about a certain 'weak, childish woman' and shook his head, the barest hints of a smirk forming.

_"…perhaps my earlier assessment was slightly off target."_ Wufei mused, following after her, _"But she's still a juvenile nuisance. Feh…stupid woman."_

* * *

Michiru let out a shriek of horror, startling Heero out of his daze in the doorjamb and making him forget his earlier wariness of entering the Middle Quint's room. 

"No…**_No_**….**NO_NO_NO!**" Michiru cried, fingers flying away on the keyboard as her injured hand frantically worked the mouse, "**_PLEASE_ let it just be a glitch!**"

"What's going on?" Heero asked sternly, coming in close to look over her shoulder.

"M-my…program…." Michiru whispered, eyes filling with tears, "My hard drive…it's-**_it's GONE!_**"

The tech-savvy teen burst into hysterical tears as Heero snatched the computer from her to assess the damage. It was total. All systems down.

"**_I w-w-worked on that pr-program f-for over th-th-th-_three months!**" Michiru sobbed up into the bedclothes.

Heero frowned at the decimated laptop. A worm was obviously the cause of this. A powerful one.

From a desk situated in an apartment in downtown Shinjuku, Eagle Bromwell (see ch.3) smirked at his Vaio screen.

"Game Over…Mi-chan." He smirked, closing the laptop with a snap.

* * *

Mitsuki, finally tiring of tossing the black and white ball around, sat up abruptly, wrenching Quatre from the depths of Literary Land. 

"You know what we need Q?" Mitsuki said seriously, looking Quatre square in the eye as she spoke, "Chocolate. We need mounds, and piles and mountains of chocolate."

Quatre closed his book and regarded her with an laughing smile on his lips.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Quatre said in amusement, aquamarine eyes dancing with laughter.

Mitsuki's answer came in the form of her grabbing the blonde Arab by the wrist, hauling him to the kitchen, digging a chocolate ice cream cake out of the freezer and begin slicing off pieces.

"I'll take that as a yes." Quatre snickered, watching as Mitsuki began shoveling the ice cream cake into her mouth.

"Can't talk. Eating." She mumbled through a mouthful of food.

* * *

Mikura and Trowa had begun sparring and Mikura now lay spread eagle on the floor, hakama fanning out, and breath coming in wheezing gasps. 

"Okay…you're **_good._**" Mikura wheezed, green eyes closed as Trowa took both his and Mikura's bokuto's and replaced them on a rack that protruded from a wall.

He then moved next to his charged and reached down, taking her sweaty palm into his and heaving her to her feet.

"Man oh **_man_**…that was harder than a **_tournament match!_**" Mikura cried, eyes wide in amazement as the two exited the training facility and began walking up the stairs, "How did you **DO** that?"

Trowa allowed the tiniest traces of a smile grace his lips, and said, "Classified."

"**Aw!** You're no fun!" Mitsuki said poutilly, a smirk on her lips.

* * *

"Well Maxwell, I have to admit you aren't half bad." Mimiru smirked as the pair strode down the stairs from the studio. 

Duo, rather sweaty and red in the face, smirked broadly.

"Told you." Duo said proudly.

"However, you need to work on your form." Mimiru said seriously, "There were points when you tended to let your shoulders sag."

"I'll keep that mind if I ever get the sudden urge to switch professions from Gundam pilot to professional dancer." Duo quipped.

Mimiru shook her head at him.

"Well it's time to feed Jasmine." Mimiru said calmly, as they reached the main level, "You coming?"

"I think you can handle feeding your kitty." Duo said walking towards the kitchen, where Quatre and Mitsuki were currently located, to get some water, "Just be quick about it."

"Gotcha, gotcha." Mimiru said dryly, waving off-handedly over her shoulder as she strode towards the back door.

* * *

"Hey, whaddya think we should have for dinner?" Mikura asked Mitsuki as she and Trowa joined the growing group in the kitchen. 

"I dunno. Whaddever Mimi's got planned I guess." Mitsuki shrugged as the front door opened and Misaki and Wufei walked/staggered in (I don't think I need to tell you who was staggering)

"Hey…where is Mimi anyway?" Misaki asked, collapsing on a stool.

"Well judging by the sound of the hysterical sobs coming from upstairs, I'd hafta say Michi's laptop crashed." Mikura said as a mournful wail split the air.

"No kidding." Wufei snorted.

"As for Mimi, I have no idea." Mitsuki shrugged.

"Oh she's out feeding Jasmine." Duo said from his place on a stool, slumped forward on the kitchen counter and sucking a water bottle.

"…what happened to you?" Trowa asked mildly.

"Mimiru happened to me." Duo groaned tiredly, "That girl's a **_beast!_** It was all I could do to keep up! I need more endurance training."

"**_Hee._**" Misaki giggled, not lifting her head from the counter, "Well, she's been at this for over twelve years, so her stamina is incredible."

"It's difficult for her to find a partner that can keep up." Mikura said with a nod.

* * *

Fifteen minutes elapsed and still there was no sign of Mimiru. 

Then there was a bestial roar that shook the house and the three quints in the kitchen and the one upstairs grabbed their heads, faces screwed up in pain.

"Ow…" Michiru whispered, tears stopping and burying her head in her knees, "Ow, ow, oww."

"What is it? What's wrong?" Heero demanded to know.

"My head…it hurts." Michiru hissed.

Another roar.

"What is going on?" Mikura asked, tears watering in her eyes, "What's got Jasmine so…"

The three quints and their bodyguards looked at each other, horror written across their faces.

"_**MIMI!**_"

The group as a whole dashed from the kitchen and out the back door to where the lioness's roars were emanating.

Not twenty feet away from the house, splayed out facedown on the ground, was Mimiru, with alargecolorful bruise formingon the back of her neck.

Jasmine stood over her, roaring and licking the eldest quint's face in some strange effort to revive her.

Trowa, being the circus performer he was (plus his whole 'way' with animals) walked over calmly and silenced the creature's roars with a look.

He then scooped the dancer's limp figure off the ground and walked back the where the rest of the group was waiting.

* * *

"**MIMI!**" Misaki cried, still holding her head and suffering from phantom pains. 

"Is she gonna be alright?" Mikura whimpered.

Duos, now thoroughly pissed that he had joined Heero's ranks in letting his charge get attacked, nodded curtly.

"It looks as though she was struck while fleeing her attacker." Wufei mused aloud, noting the location of the wound.

"And look at her feet." Trowa muttered, pulling a broken bit of chain (the kind used for army dogtags) from the mud covered sole of her shoe.

"She fought back." Duo murmured, "And Jasmine must have scared the guy off."

"Yeah, nobody wants to get mauled by a lion." Misaki said as Mimiru was laid out on the couch.

"We'll question her once she wa-!" Wufei started when

BAFF

"Oogh…damnit, could you keep it down?" Mimiru groaned, Wufei gripping her fist (only about a mm away from his face)

She sat up carefully and tried getting to her feet only to have her knees give out and Duo catch her before she hit the hardwood.

"Easy there." He said cheerfully, "The last thing anyone needs is more head trauma."

"Whoa kay…you can make the room stop spinning **_annnnny_** time now." Mimiru whispered, looking slightly green.

"Mimi, are you alright?" Misaki asked.

"…what kind of stupid ass question is that?" Mimiru said wryly, still supported by Duo, "I have a lump on the back of my head the size of Calcutta and a migraine the size of Texas."

* * *

"What happened, Mimiru?" Quatre asked worriedly. 

"I was on my way to the meat storage lockers to get a beef carcass for Jasmine." Mimiru started, "When this guy who's…hmm…how to describe…him…oh yeah, creepy beyond all reason, comes from out of know where and asks me to take him to my dad."

"So then what?" Duo asked, shifting slightly to support her better.

"Then I told him that he and the rest of the paparazzi could go fuck themselves, turned to leave and ended up in a choke hold." Mimiru shrugged, "He demanded I take him to dad, but I kicked him in the throat and started running back for the house."

She screw her head up in thought, "It gets a little muzzy after that."

"They're getting bolder."

All eyes turned to the stairway where Heero stood beside Michiru.

"They're gaining confidence and growing more and more blatant with their assaults." He growled as Michiru rubbed her injured hand absently.

"We can not let this happen again." Heero growled, "We're going to have to double, possibly triple our guard."

The G-Boys nodded while the Quints shot each other apprehensive looks.

_"Less freedom for me? I don't think so."_ Misaki smirked internally.

_"I'd rather be in trouble than a captive of my own home."_ Mitsuki thought resolutely.

_"I…I don't want to get hurt…but I wanna be free to do as I like."_ Michiru thought to herself nervously.

_"Screw that. There invading my space enough as it is."_ Mikura thought with a snort.

Mimiru just looked bored.

* * *

(A/N: A surprise visitor drops by unannounced: Can you guess who?Mitsuki's soccer match. Another quint is assaulted. R&R!) 


	6. Mission Brief: Bed Rest & Unwanted Guest

(A/N: Hey all! Sorry this took so long! Fanfic wasn't letting me upload any new chappies! Bad website! BAD! But now that I'm able to, here's the next chappie! Enjoy!)

* * *

"Hn…" Mimiru murmured to herself, "I wonder if I should tell them yet?" 

"Huh?" Duo blinked, shifting her slightly, "Tell who what yet?"

Mimiru said nothing, but continued staring at the G-Boys in silence, looking resolute as she made up her mind.

"Hey boys?" she called out dryly, "Not that you all don't have **_fantastic_** legs and all…but how much longer are you gonna meander about in that fuku?"

All activity and conversation in the room ceased.

"Not that you're not all cute as buttons…but don't you think your masculinity will by in question by now?" Mimiru asked wryly as the four Gundam pilots clad in skirts and wigs took on a color reminiscent of a maraschino cherry.

Duo began to roar with laughter as the four boys shot up the stairs, ripping off clothing as they went.

"Be careful with those wigs boys." Misaki sang out from the kitchen, where she was ordering take out, "They were our Mommy's!"

"And we're not supplying you new uniforms gentlemen." Mitsuki smirked, dribbling her soccerball on her right foot.

"They're **expensive** doncha know." Mikura snickered, laying on her stomach magazine open in front of her.

"So…um…t-take care." Michiru chuckled nervously from her seat on an easy chair, sitting Indian style.

"And as for you, Mr. Maxwell…could you put me down before you drop me?" Mimiru said acerbically shifting her weight so she was out from under Duo's arm…

…unfortunately by doing so, Mimiru made herself very dizzy and fell unceremoniously on the sofa.

"Whoa…whoever put the room on a Lazy Susan can feel free to take it off now…" Mimiru groaned, trying not to puke.

* * *

Duo, somehow, some way, managed to calm down long enough to be slightly concerned with Mimiru's current condition. 

"Hey Mimi," Duo chuckled, leaning down to inspect the damage, brushing tears out of his eyes, "Are you o-"

**_-DINNNNDONNNN-_**

"I'll get it." Mitsuki said, kicking the soccerball into her hands and darting towards the door before Duo could place any objections.

There was a loud bang as the door was thrown open and a cry of delight from Mitsuki.

"**_Milli!_** Come on in!" the soccer playing teen said jubilantly as the door was closed again, and none other than Milliardo Peacecraft was led into the living room.

He took one look Mimiru, who was now an interesting shade of greenish-gray, strode over to her, ignoring Duo's dirty looks.

"Milliardo…get me…to the bathroom-now." Mimiru hissed at the white-blonde man through clenched teeth that were currently concealed behind her hand.

Being familiar with the house from previous visits with Relena, he wasted no time in scooping the dancer over his shoulder and dashing down the hall and into the nearest bathroom.

Good thing too.

Because not twelve seconds later, Mimiru was retching violently as she gave her offering to the porcelain god while Milliardo held her hair.

After the retches quelled to dry heaves, Mimiru wiped her mouth and gave the elder Peacecraft an offhanded, wry smirk.

"One helluva way to start your visit, eh?" she asked raspily, climbing unsteadily to her feet as Milliardo flushed the toilet, "Not two seconds after you walk through the door, your playing hair tie while I toss my cookies."

Milliardo merely smirked at the remark.

"Why would I mind assisting a friend of my dear little sister?" He asked noting the large purple, green, blue, yellow, red and black discoloration on the back of Mimiru's neck.

"That's a rather impressive bruise, Mimiru." Milliardo said mildly, as he assisted the eldest quint out of the bathroom, "May I ask where and when you acquired it?"

"Earlier this evening, and some jackass I don't know." Mimiru said wryly, "I'm just thankful it happened tonight and not the day after tomorrow."

"Why's that?" Duo asked, having followed them, not at all thrilled at having 'Zechs Marquise' near his charge, "What's happening tomorrow?"

"Chiropractics, acupuncture and acupressure." Mimiru said, "I took a really bad fall coming out of a throw when I was six. The doc re-aligns the vertebrae in my neck and the acupuncture & pressure are to relieve muscle tension."

"I get it." Duo smirked, "You took a hit in your neck. So, it's a really good thing you're going tomorrow, huh?"

"**_Especially_** since I can't turn my head." Mimiru snorted.

* * *

"**GO MITSU!_ GO-OO!_**" Misaki screamed hopping up and down, unintentionally smacking Wufei in the face as she did so. 

Wufei growled viciously, glaring in a way that would have burned holes into a lesser man's spine…too bad for him that Misaki's no man.

Heero let the tiniest traces of a smirk flit across his lips (sadist) while Michiru let a nervous chuckle escape.

"I'm **_beginning _**to question the logic in all this." Wufei growled, eyes narrowed, rubbing his nose to test and see if it was broken.

"Well, we refuse to just hole up like a bunch of hermits." Mikura announced, "That would be a victory for whomever's harassing us!"

"Plus, I-um promised Mimiru I'd record this for her." Quatre added sheepishly, holding up a video camera.

"It really is too bad." Trowa murmured, "How long did her doctor say she'd have to stay in bed?"

"Three days." Misaki snickered, "**_Hee!_** She's gonna go nuts!"

"At l-least she wont b-b-be lonely." Michiru murmured quietly as a time out was called, "She has Duo and M-Milliardo to k-k-keep her company."

"No, Milli had to go member? It's just Duo." Misaki said chidingly.

"Why is he **_here_** anyway?" Wufei asked coolly, rancor dripping over ever syllable, "Showing up out of nowhere…what's he up to?"

"He's being Mimi's dance partner." Mikura blinked, "**She** invited him here in the** first place**."

"**_What?_**" Heero barked, "**Dance** partner? And what do you mean **_invited_** him here?"

"Milli and Lena have been friends of our family forever…well…**Lena** has at least." Misaki said thoughtfully.

"Sh-she introduced us to Milliardo about a th-three months ago." Michiru stammered.

"That **_still _**doesn't explain-!" Wufei snarled, before being cut off by a withering look from Mikura.

"We're **getting **to that." She said blandly, "That was around the time Mimiru's partner was injured."

"Anyway, she said something about him having a great line and asked him to be her dance partner for the next competition." Misaki said with an offhanded wave of her hand.

"He said he'd think it over and about two weeks ago, he emailed, saying he said he'd do it." Mikura said with a nod.

Heero and Wufei glared into empty space (poor empty space; it needs counseling now) and Quatre and Trowa gave accepting nods and turned their attention back to the soccer field.

* * *

Mitsuki was doing a spazzy little victory dance, that would have made Mimiru die of shame if she had seen it, as she had just scored a goal. 

"**_Woo hooooo!_**" Mitsuki chanted proudly.

That goal had been beautiful.

It would have made Mia Hamm and Pele' proud!

Mitsuki was smirking in a manner very reminiscent of Duo as she dashed back to the bench.

She looked around, searching for her water bottle and finally located it.

Smiling brightly, Mitsuki popped the top and took a deep swig.

Pain erupted in every facet of her mouth and throat as the liquid passed down, pain so intense it brought her to her knees and made her start to gag.

Mitsuki was throwing up, she knew it, and she wondered why her vomit was so red.

_"Huh...why is everything so dark? It's only noon...we're aren't scheduled for an eclipse, are we?"_ Mitsuki thought as she blacked out.

* * *

"**MITSU!**" Misaki screamed as she, her sisters and the G-Boys ran down from the bleachers. 

"**_Mitsuki!_**" Michiru cried, wrapping an arm around her now unconscious sibling's shoulders.

"Call an ambulance!" Quatre demanded of of the coach as Trowa bent down and inspected the remaining contents of the bottle.

Trowa's face scrunched up in disgust from the scent exuded from the bottle.

"…bleach." He murmured, "Undiluted."

"She'll need to have her stomach pumped then." Heero mutteredas the sounds of an ambulance's sirens wailed, growing louder as theyapproacehthe soccer field.

"**Mitsuki!**" Mikura sobbed.

* * *

"**_Nk._**" Mimiru groaned, holding her stomach from her place in bed. 

"What's up?" Duo asked, tearing his glance away from South Park, "You okay?"

"I think…something else has happened." Mimiru mumbled, rubbing her abdomen, "My throat…my mouth……my stomach…they're on fire."

"Well seeing as you're on strict bed rest, I guess that must be it." Duo said with a nod, shuddering at "The Freaky Quint Thing".

"I hope it isn't anything too major." Mimiru said moving her hand from her stomach to her neck to finger her brace.

Milliardo, much to Duo relief, had left awhile ago, saying he needed to report to Noin concerning his current whereabouts.

Duo had never really trusted Milliardo and ever since his defection into White Fang…well, that had been the icing on the proverbial cake.

Duo was glad Miiliardo was gone, and a safe distance away from his charge.

Even if he **WAS **supposedly on their side now, Duo wasn't sure he could ever entirely trust him.

The trip to the chiropractor/acupressure/acupuncturist (yup, three for the price of one) had been…interesting to say the least.

* * *

"**MY _WORK!_ MY _BEAUTIFUL_, _BEAUTIFUL_** **WORK!**" Dr. Yakumo Tohru sobbed, taking in the bruise as Duo and Milliardo watched the full grown man dissolve into tears, "**_RUINED!_**" 

"Chill out, Yakumo." Mimiru said wryly, "Just 'get cracking'…and poking…and prodding while your add it. Sobbing about your destroyed work isn't going to fix my neck."

Gathering himself, the man nodded vigorously.

"Your right of course." Dr.Yakumo said with a sniff, "But your neck was one of my finest works. Andtodaywas to be your final visit. I'm afraid that with this added damage, you'll have to see me for at least three more months."

"Not that I don't just love seeing you." Mimiru said with a snort.

_"This guy…is completely off his rocker."_ Duo thought with a laugh,_ "He talks about her neck as though it was a piece of art or something."_

He then shot a glare over at Milliardo Peacecraft.

_"And why does this guy have to be here?"_ he thought crossly, _"Does he think I can't handle one fifteen year old girl? That I'm an idiot or something?…bastard."_ (hey bud…you're the exact same age, don't talk as though your older!)

Milliardo turned his head and caught the look and held it for a moment as Dr. Yakumo took Mimiru from them and assisted her from the waiting room to a chiropractics table in the back.

"I can see by the look on your face…Mr. Maxwell…that I am an unwanted presence here." Milliardo murmured.

"More like un-needed." Duo said with a smirk, "Tell Noin I can handle my job."

Milliardo smirked down at him.

"As endearing as your principles may be, I still have an obligation to fulfill…to Ms. Sugino." Milliardo said, turning to leave.

"And what does that mean?" Duo asked, narrowing his violet eyes.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" the elder Peacecraft said calmly as he exited the building.

* * *

A doctor exited the double doors, walking straight towards the Sugino's and their bodyguards. 

Misaki, Michiru and Mikura were on their feet in the blink of an eye, firing off questions.

"**_HOW _IS_ SHE?_**"

"**IS SHE GONNA BE _OKAY?_**"

"**_I-IS SHE _ALIVE?**"

"**Calm down! _ALL_ of you!**" the poor man cried, throwing his hands into the air as the girls were physically restrained by Trowa, Heero and Quatre to keep from attacking the poor physician.

"Your sister…will be just…fine." he said slowly and distinctly so they could hear each syllable, "You caught the poisoning very quickly so we were able to rid her of the toxins almost immediately."

"Oh thank god!" Mikura moaned, collapsing to the floor in a heap.

"M-M-Mitsu's g-gonna be…Wuh-wuh-**_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_**" Misaki wailed bursting into tears out of sheer relief.

Michiru let loose a small giggle and promptly fainted, drawing forwards several nurses who carried her into another room on a stretcher.

Wufei watched as they hauled Michiru away and plugged his ears to block out Misaki's ear-splitting sobs.

_"Women…they're so annoying."_ He thought tersely.

"I'm glad she'll be okay." Quatre sighed in relief, "Granted her throat and mouth will hurt a great deal."

"Mm…she won't be able to taste anything for awhile…that's for certain." Trowa said dryly.

"This makes three." Heero growled angrily, "With only two left uninjured. Who knows how much further they'll go?"

* * *

"There's one good thing that's come from all of this." Mimiru said wryly, flipping on the T.V and turning to Comedy Central as she spoke, "Gaining back the weight I lost will be a snap." 

"No kiddin'." Duo smirked, making himself comfortable in an easy chair he had dragged next to her bed, eyes focusing on the screen.

A Latino comic by the name of Pablo Francisco came on and went into a schpeal about the music at techno clubs that made both protector and bed-ridden protectee burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

_"Seriously, they can say anything in those songs and you'd dance to them!" _Pablo said, dancing spastically on the T.V., "_Kill-My-Self. Kill Myself. Slash-My-Wrists. Slash My Wrists!"_

The comic then went on to comment about his "Lesbian-haircut" and how he could probably pick up chicks with it.

That sent both Duo and Mimiru over the edge…even more so when Pablo began speaking in a falsetto, female voice.

"Ouch…oh god, that hurts." Mimiru moaned, tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard, hand flying to her throat.

"Muh-maybe we should watch something else?" Duo asked, grabbing the remote.

"Yeah." Mimiru sighed in agreement as he flipped the channel over to Jerry Springer.

"Heyeeee…haven't seen this in awhile." Duo smirked.

"I never tire of these American shows." Mimiru said wryly as a pair of men began to fight all over the stage over a girl in the background, who looked as though there were a million places she would have rather been.

* * *

(A/N: Duo learns why Milliardo's here, and declares that he will take Milliardo's place as Mimiru's dance partner. Another attack on the Quints, and an angry ex rears his head. R&R!) 


	7. Mission Brief: Bring It On & Meeces!

(A/N: I'm a little hurt. Only one review last chappie? Sniff. I'm so unloved. Anyhoo, here's the next chappie.)

* * *

Two days after the bleach incident, Mimiru was out of bed, out of brace, and practicing three times as hard to make up for lost time.

Duo was flabbergasted.

His mind had been blown to some distant galaxy far away after he had taken what Milliardo Peacecraft had said to heart and asked Mimiru what the elder Peacecraft was doing here.

She had been stretching her right leg out, in a way no human leg should be allowed stretch (so her calf was up against her ear…can you say Barbie doll?) when she had given him the answer.

"**_DANCE PARTNER?_**" Duo cried, coming out his shock as the eldest quint lowered her leg onto the rail in front of her slowly, "**_HE'S_ YOUR _DANCE PARTNER?_**"

"Yeeee-up." Mimiru said with a grunt as she leaned into another stretch.

Duo had a "this-cannot-be-the-world-is-ending" look on his face…which Mimiru could feel burning a hole through her spine.

So she ended the stretch, removed her leg from the bar and turned to face her protector.

"'zat a problem Maxwell?" Mimiru asked blandly.

Duo stared at her with a look of total disbelief on his face.

"**But it's _ZECHS!_**" He cried gesturing with his hands.

"…who…or what…is Zechs?" Mimiru asked dryly, quirking an eyebrow.

Duo blanked out color draining from his face.

"_She doesn't…know!" _He screamed internally, flailing his arms in agitation,_"Dammit that was a stupid slip-up!"

* * *

_

Mimiru, after observing her protector's internal struggle for over three minutes, grew bored of watching and went back to stretching.

Taking several deep breaths, Duo was ready to further his case against Milliardo Peacecraft.

"But…but…he's older than you, his hair's longer than yours and he's every bit as female as you are!" Duo sputtered out, knowing as he said it, how pathetic an argument it was.

Without even turning around, Mimiru countered his contention.

"So he's older…big whoop. I know some partners how have a twenty year age gap and it hasn't stopped them." Mimiru said calmly, "And his hair is nowhere **_near_** as long as mine…now **_yours_** on the other hand…"

Duo scowled and fingered his braid defensively.

"And if Milliardo's a woman, then **_my_** name's Mike Tyson." Mimiru finished, "If there's something bothering you, Maxwell…don't tiptoe around the issue, okay? Spit it out."

"**WHY CAN'T _I_ BE YOU'RE PARTNER?**" Duo cried, sent over the edge in frustration, "You said _**yourself**_ I'm good!"

"Yes…yes I did." Mimiru murmured, pulling her left leg into that impossible stretch again, "But in competitions, **good** isn't good enough…you've gotta be great- which Milliardo is."

Duo growled quietly.

"Look, if it means that much to you, you can train with us and learn all the steps…but if you're gonna be my partner instead of him…" Mimiru murmured, "…you're gonna have to trainfive times as hard."

* * *

Mitsuki lay flat on her back in the hospital gurney, hazel green eyes completely focused on the T.V. screen.

She had managed to convey to Quatre, through the use of a PDA, that she wanted to watch the World Cup (she's not allowed to talk for awhile)

Quatre tried, on seven non-consecutive occasions, striking up conversation with his hospitalized charge, only to have them be immediately shot down in a flurry of computer keys as Mitsuki continually thrust a note in his face, saying: _**QUIET!** I CAN'T hear the game!_

And thus, Quatre found his watch duty over Mitsuki to a silent…lonely one.

But, the World Cup being the event that it was, Mitsuki wasn't alone for long.

Soon, an orderly bringing new blankets, seeing that the game was on, paused, for Quatre thought was only going to be a moment, then sat down in a nearby chair.

Then another orderly, sent to look for the first came in, saw the World cup on the T.V. and sat down on the edge of Mitsuki's bed.

One orderly after another filled the room, followed shortly after by nurses, surgeons and pediatricians.

All the eyes focused on the screen, tension filling the air…especially from a certain blonde Arab.

Quatre inwardly sweated bullets at how unbelievably crowded the hospital room was now, packed wall to wall with hospital staff, eyes glued to the screen.

They were all potential suspects in the attacks against the Sugino family, he knew that, but for the moment…soccer fever had blinded everyone to everything going on around them.

It could be dealt with after the game, or so the masses theorized.

"**_YEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!_**"

"**Awwww!**"

Quatre leapt about ten feet as the room erupted in cheers and loud angry groans.

As he picked himself off the ground, just in time to avoid getting stomped on by a morbidly obese male nurse hopping up and down, he gave a tired sigh followed by a small smile.

Apparently someone from Japan had just scored.

* * *

Misaki was chanting the cheer from Bring It On while dancing around the dance studio.

Wufei had his hands pressed tightly against the sides of his head to block out the sounds as the annoying, yet horrifically catchy chant, drilled it's way into his limbic system.

"I'm sexy! I'm cute! I'm popular too boot!" Misaki sang, pom-poms in hand.

"I'm bitchin'! Great hair! The guys all love to stare!" Duo cried out with Misaki.

Why are these two singing the Bring It On cheer?

Well, it all started when Misaki had wanted to watch the movie…for the fifty-gazillionth time.

Wufei wanted no part of such mind rotting drivel…but Michiru, who had been very shaken by the last attack, and Mimiru, who liked the gymnastic choreography as she could apply it to her dances, were all for it, leaving Pilot 5 little to no choice as he sat in between Heero and Duo.

What he didn't know was thathe should have argued his case more, because now,Wufei was being chased around the mansion by Duo and an overjoyed Misaki, who was thrilled at the fact that she had managed to get Pilot 2 to join her in her sugar-charged spirit-crazed rampage.

It wasn't that difficult; anything that annoyed the crap out of Wufei was alright by Duo.

* * *

"I want it! I'm hot! I'm everything you're not!" the sang out together as they followed Wufei into Mikura's bedroomin his attempt to escape.

Mikura, dropped her pencil, forgetting her homework momentarily as she allowed her eyes to follow the chaos that darted around her room.

"I'm pretty! I'm cool! I dominate this school!" Misaki giggled as she and Duo pivoted around a wicker trash bin after the fleeing Chinese teen.

"Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!" Duo cried out laughingly as they followed Wufei back out of Mikura's room and down the stairs.

Trowa and Mikura simply stared out the bedroom door.

"….you just saw Braid-boy, Nutcase and Jackie Chan's cousin playing follow the leader too, right?" Mikura asked Pilot 3.

Trowa nodded slowly, closing the textbook he held.

"Yes…yes I did." Trowa murmured, looking slightly startled as he continued to stare at the empty door, as if questioning why it would allow such a sight to enter the room in the first place.

"Okay then." Mikura said with a nodded looking for her pencil, "As long as it wasn't just me."

* * *

"I'm rockin'! I smile! And many think I'm vile!" They pair chanted after Wufei as he bolted into the living room, where Michiru, Heero and Mimiru were putting in another movie.

"I'm flying! I jump! You can look but don't you hump!" Misaki laughed as Wufei hissed, "Shutupshutupshutuuuuuuuup!"

"I'm danger! I roar! I swear I'm not a whore!" Duo snickered, chasing Wufei around a potted plant.

"We cheer and we lead! We act like were on speed!" the pair cried together as they cornered Wufei against a bookcase.

"Hate us cause we're beautiful! Well, we don't like you either! We're cheerleaders! We are cheerlead-**_YAH!_**" they squealed as Mimiru grabbed Duo by the braid, making him fall flat on his back, and Heero tripped Misaki, causing her to fall flat on her face.

Wufei, seeing a small chance at safety, darted behind the eldest quints legs and glared viciously at Duo and Misaki.

"Keep them and that vile chant away from me." He spat, obsidian eyes flashing.

Mimiru regarded the Chinese teen a moment and considered telling him how precarious a position he was in (his face is right next to her ass)…but thought better of it given the situation,and nodded.

"Mi-Mi-Misaki…that wasn't very n-nice." Michiru murmured from behind Heero (she has the invisible quality; I have the invisible quality too; I hate the invisible quality)

"Yeah, but it was funny, huh?" Misaki grinned at Duo, who hair was still being held hostage.

"Damn straight!" He laughed.

* * *

**_-DINNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNN-_**

"I'll g-get it." Michiru murmured, getting to her feet to answer the door, Heero hot on her heels.

"Package for Sugino Mikura." The courier said nonchalantly, shifting the brown package under his arm.

"I'll s-sign for it." Michiru murmured, taking the clipboard from him and signing away her name.

"Here you go." The UPS man said, handing over the parcel, "Have a good day."

"Y-you too." Michiru said, closing the door after him.

"**OI! MI_KUUUUUUUUUUUUU_RA!**" Misaki yelled in her big booming "Imma-cheerleader-check-out-my-vocal-cords" voice, "**YOU'VE GOTTA P_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_CKAGE!**"

Mikura lost her grip on her pencil for the second time today.

"I…am never gonna get this done." She grumbled under her breath, glaring into empty space (stop psychologically scarring empty space! he's already in counseling!), "I hate quadratic equations enough as it is…I guess I should thank her."

"Procrastinating always leads to trouble." Trowa said mildly, the barest hints on a smirk on his lips as he closed his textbook again.

"Yeah, well, I'm already in about as deep of trouble as I can get if you haven't noticed Hair-boy!" Mikura grinned, tugging on the end of Trowa's doo, "So I fig, a little procrastination here and there can't hurt much!"

A true smirk filled Trowa face as the pair sauntered out of Mikura's room and down the stairs.

Extracting the package from Michiru's hands, Mikura opened it on the spot.

A blank expression filled her face, followed by a look of absolute horror.

* * *

"**_AAAAAIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!_**" She screamed dropping the package and hurling herself away from it.

Mikura then doubled herself into a ball and began to bawl uncontrollably, causing the Gundam Pilot and part time clown to stride forward and tentatively wrap his arms around Mikura's quaking shoulders.

Michiru, the closest, saw what was inside, gagged and ran down the hall to the bathroom, Heero close behind her.

Misaki, a horrid curiosity taking over her, peeked forward and automatically recoiled, collapsing to the ground and burying her face in Wufei's back.

Mimiru then strode forward and looked inside the box, face twisting into a frown.

"Cheddar…and Gouda." She murmured.

"What and what now?" Duo asked peering over her shoulder...and wishing seconds later that he hadn't.

Mice.

Dead…brutalized…bloodied…mice lay inside the box.

Stabbed with rusted nails…gored with broken glass…even for Duo, the self-proclaimed Shinigami, this was almost too much.

Straight on death he could handle…but these poor creatures…they had been tortured.

"Mikura and Hatozaki Tsunuga bought these mice for a science project awhile back…a maze I think." Mimiru muttered, barely heard over Mikura's wild sobs, "They cared for them together after the project was finished…Hatozaki…he's sick."

Hazel green eyes narrowed, Mimiru slammed the box shut, stormed into the kitchen, and lobbed the parcel into the garbage.

* * *

Later than night, Misaki slipped away to the indoor pool.

She sat on the diving board, resting her chin on her left knee, her right leg swinging over the edge.

That afternoon had been fun…but ended horribly.

With a sigh, Misaki lifted her right leg up to meet her chin and groaned lightly.

A sudden weight and incredible pain exploded in the side of Misaki's face, sending her flying through the air and into the water.

Dazed, Misaki barely felt the hand, clamp around her long, honey-colored hair and drag her forcefully to the surface, jerking her head back to expose her throat.

* * *

Wufei groaned.

How difficult was it too keep track of a single girl?

"Very apparently…annoying woman. Why must you make my life so difficult." Wufei muttered as he walked along.

"Because she's a girl." Heero replied, coming out of the bathroom with Michiru.

"Y-yeah…m-m-mood swings c-come with th-th-the territory." Michiru rasped, looking very unsteady on her feet.

"I hear movement from that direction." Heero muttered glancing down the hall.

"M-Misaki's probably in the p-p-pool then." Michiru murmured as they walked along.

"She better be." Wufei growled, opening the door to the poor, "I'm tired of chasing after that juvenile nuisance."

He stalked inside, only to stop short at the sight of a shadowy figure holding Misaki aloft from the pool by her hair, a hunting knife plunging towards her throat.

Acting quickly, Wufei grabbed a life preserver and lobbed it at the person's head.

Seeing it in their peripheral vision, they loosened their grip on Misaki's hair, slicing through it and causing her to plummet back into the pool.

The preserver was smacked away with the knife filled hand in the blink of an eye, the being was gone.

Heero dove into the water and retrieved the pseudo-conscious teen, who hacked up lungfulls of water as they broke the surface.

After she regained her bearings, Misaki's eyes widened into saucers and her hands flew to her head, shaking fingers running through her severed, uneven locks.

"Oh…oh…" Misaki choked out, trying not to cry and failing miserably as she beheld the sight of her hair strewn unevenly at her knees.

She gathered some of it into her hands and rocked back and forth, quaking in silent dry sobs.

"That bastard…cut…a woman's…hair." Wufei growled, grabbing a handful of it off the wet concrete, "…a woman's hair is her treasure…my father taught me that much…that cretinous wretch shall suffer tha wrath of heaven for robbing a woman of her pride."

* * *

(A/N: Duo's intense training! Another attack on the Quints! And more fun with crossdressing! R&R!)


	8. Mission Brief: Duo's Intense Training

(A/N: I'm sho sad. Only two reviews last chappie. Whadd'm I doin' wrong? Sniffle. Ho well. Here'sthe next chappie. Enjoy!)

* * *

A much calmer Misaki sat in front of Mimiru, who was currently armed with a pair of scissors.

"Okay." The eldest quint said calmly, giving her sister's back a light pat, "I've evened it out. We'll take you to get it styled tomorrow, 'kay?"

Misaki smiled brightly and nodded.

She was actually a lot calmer than any of the boys would have expected and taking the loss of almost two feet of hair exceptionally well.

After crying for about twenty minutes, she had regained her composure enough to ask Mimiru to level out her abused hair, which now hit her just above the shoulder blades.

Not completely clueless, Misaki caught the looks on Wufei and Trowa's faces and smiled again.

"It's okay, **_really!_**" she added for emphasis as Wufei narrowed his eyes at her, "I was actually thinking about getting it cut anyway."

"So what was with the waterworks?" Duo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, that?" Misaki laughed, "It was the whole, 'Oh-my-freakin'-god-it's-really-gone' factor. I mean, how would you react if Heero suddenly came up behind you with a pair of hedge clippers and hacked off your braid?"

Duo's hands flew to his plait, looping it around his forearm.

"Exactly." Mikura said with a grin, "Once you've had your hair long for an extended period, you're used to the weight and sometimes form a personal attachment to it."

Trowa shook his head at Duo's defensive reaction.

Wufei looked slightly disgusted and began to question Pilot 2's sexual preferences.

Heero just continued typing away on his laptop.

* * *

"Um, M-Mimiru?" Michiru asked, tapping the eldest quint on the shoulder, "C-c-can I come w-with you tomorrow and g-g-get my hair c-cut?" 

Mimiru gave the middle quint a slightlyappraising, mildly impressed, look.

"How short you thinking about going?" Mimiru asked calmly.

"Uh-um…" Michiru stammered, looking rather flustered, "I h-hadn't really thought th-th-that far ahead."

"Ooo! Take it just below your chin!" Misaki squealed, clasping her younger sister's hands, eyes dancing, "It'll look soooo kyoot!"

"Surprising dialogue coming from a girl who just had half her own hair hacked off." Wufei snorted.

"You sure you're not just trying to make **your_self_** feel better?" Mikura snickered.

Misaki scowled at the both of them.

"No, I **mean _it!_**" Misaki said, looking like a child who wanted a toy and was going to throw a tantrum if they didn't get it, "She'll look **_super cute_** with her hair short!"

"Besides…it will make things easier on us." Trowa murmured, "The fact that all of you wear your hair the same length, and are identical to top things off, is a bit of a bother."

Mikura regarded Trowa for a moment.

"Well...okay Hair-boy." Mikura sighed, fingering her honey colored hair and looking at it as though she was about to lose a friend, "I can take a hint. I'll cut mine too."

"I don't think convincing Mitsuki will be a problem either." Mimiru said placidly, "She only kept it long for Jōao Taveres. She said herself that it interferes in her game play."

"Whaddabout you?" Duo asked slyly, giving the eldest quint a lazy smirk, "Aren't you gonna go toe to toe with the clippers?"

"Personal presentation is factored into how I'm scored at competitions." Mimiru said coolly, "I wear my hair long with one sole purpose in mind-so I don't need extensions come contest nights."

"Mimi always gets her hair done up crazy fancy the day she competes." Mikura said matter-of-factly.

"Mm-hm." Misaki nodded, grinning maliciously at her sister, "It takes **_hours_** of sitting still."

"Pure. Torture." Mimiru shuddered.

"I see." Heero muttered, the barest hints of a smirk on his lips, "And having shorter hair…would mean they would have to add extensions before styling your hair, yes? Which would take even longer."

"Okay, you can stop now." Mimiru squeaked (yes for the first time in this story, Mimiru squeaks) looking as though the very thought of sitting still for that long was enough to make her wanna rip out her own toenails.

* * *

"**OW_OW_OW_OW_OW_OW_OW!**" 

"Oh, quit being such a baby."

Milliardo walked into the Sugino's Dance Studio to the sight of Mimiru forcing Duo into the same impossible stretch she had been doing the day before via a pulley system.

"Hey Milliardo." Mimiru said calmly, giving the fabric in her hand another tug.

"**_OW_OW_OW_OW_OW_OW_OW!_**" Duo yowled as subsequently the fabric wrapped around his ankle was jerked upward, making pain explode through his groin and inner thigh.

"Wimp." Mimiru said wryly, as Milliardo Peacecraft strode forward, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Mimiru, while entertaining, might I ask what you're doing?" he chuckled, setting down a duffel bag.

"Hurting…**me**…you **_ass!_**" Duo snapped, shooting an incredibly pissed look at the elder Peacecraft, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"Maxwell said he wanted to take your place as my dance partner." Mimiru said calmly, "**I **am merely aiding and abetting to that effect."

She gave the fabric a final tug, making Duo give a loud squeak, before releasing the fabric and allowing Pilot 2 to fall to the floor.

"Oh god…I thought I was gonna **_die_**." Duo moaned, picking himself shakily off the floor.

Milliardo couldn't help himself.

He snickered.

Duo caught him and shot to his feet faster than a bullet leaving a gun chamber.

"**_Alright!_**" he cried, a determined fire burning in his eyes. "Let's get started! I'm ready!"

"Um, no your not." Mimiru said offhandedly, walking towards the exit.

"That's right…Mr. Maxwell." Milliardo smirked, "You're nowhere near ready to dance with Ms. Sugino for this routine."

"For now, you'll dance with Milliardo until you get the steps down." Mimiru said.

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAT?**" Duo bellowed, face contorting in disbelief.

"Give me a buzz when you think he's ready, Milli." Mimiru said with a backhanded wave, "I'll be with Mitsu and Winner."

Duo stared, mouth agape in horror as his charge strode out of the studio, leaving him with Milliardo AKA Zechs Marquese.

A pale hand clapped down hard on his shoulder.

"Welcome to hell, Shinigami." Milliardo snickered into the braided boy's ear.

"**_Heeeeeeeeek_**…" Duo squealed, tears filling the corners of his eyes again.

* * *

"Yo. How goes it?" Mimiru asked calmly, entering Mitsuki room. 

"Alright." Quatre smiled, happier now that he was back among his fellow pilots.

_-clakedyclackedyclack-_

Mitsuki typed up a quick note and held it up for Mimiru to read.

_I'm doing a lot better now. **GAWD** I missed my bed! _Mitsuki typed, a relieved look on her face.

"You made a good choice in the haircut department." Mimiru said with an approving nod as she took in Mitsuki's Hyuuga Hinata style cut, "Very cute."

_Thanx!_ Mitsuki typed with her right hand, her left fingering her now exposed neck. 

"It was very wise." Quatre said in agreement, "Less distractions on the soccer field."

_You know it, Q!_ Mitsuki typed, smiling broadly.

* * *

"Hmmmm…I think you've had enough for today, Mr. Maxwell." Milliardo smirked, gathering up his things. 

Duo lay in a puddle on the floor, moaning in pain.

"Uhnnnn…the human spine was**_ not_** meant to bend that way." He groaned.

"We'll resume your training tomorrow." Milliardo said nonchalantly, tuning to go, before looking over his shoulder with a derisive sneer, "That is…if you're still up for it…"

Duo was up like a shot and glaring viciously at the white blonde man.

"Yes, I'm still up for it you** ass!**" Duo snarled, violet eyes flashing

"Good. See you tomorrow then…Mr. Maxwell." Milliardo smirked, walking out of the studio, "Please tell Ms. Sugino I've taken my leave."

Duo glared after the former White Fang leader and gave a snort as he pulled himself to his violently trembling legs.

_"Stupid arrogant asshole…he's not taking my job away from me."_ Duo thought with a scowl, _"Now, to find Mimiru."_

Duo walked unsteadily out of the studio, amazed at how tired he was.

He had never thought much about dancing before, but he now had a newfound, healthy respect to anyone in the profession.

The stairs in front of him, though they sloped downward, seemed to extend forever, and the self-proclaimed "God" of Death, gave a little sob as he grabbed a hold of the railing and made his way down a flight.

Duo had never been more relieved in his life when he heard Mimiru's voice coming from the very first room on the left.

He stumbled into Mitsuki's room and collapsed at the foot of her bed.

"I see Milliardo took his job seriously. Good." Mimiru said with a nod.

"What job?" Quatre asked, looking very concerned at Pilot 2's current state.

"He wants to take Milliardo's place as my dance partner, and I have no right to stop him." Mimiru shrugged, "So I'm having Milliardo assist in the training process so Braid-boy can do just that…that is, if he still wants to."

* * *

Duo scowled up at her from his pace on the floor. 

"What is it with you people?" Duo grumbled, "I'm not givin' up just cuz it's a little difficult."

_But Duo, you're in pr**eeeeeeeeeeeeeee**tty bad shape there, bud_ Mitsuki typed sheepishly into her PDA.

Duo gave Mitsuki a look.

"That…coming from you?" Duo said dryly.

"I must admit, Mitsuki, that is a bit of an oxymoron." Quatre grinned at his charge, who was now smiling embarrassedly.

_**Oops**…forgot about that_ Mitsuki typed quickly, blushing slightly.

"Well as fun as this is, I hafta feed Jasmine." Mimiru said, rising to her feet, "Come on Maxwell."

A look of despair filled Duo's face.

"Now?" he cried.

"Come on Duo." Quatre said optimistically, "It isn't nearly as bad as fighting OZ."

"No, it's worse." Duo snapped, clamoring to his feet and following irritably after his charge, trying to ignore the fact the blonde Arab was now chuckling at his expense.

The two strode outside, Duo muttering the entire time under his breath.

"You know how annoying that is?" Mimiru asked wryly after a time.

"Yes." Duo retorted.

"Okay. Just so you aren't in the dark." Mimiru replied as they approached the meat storage locker.

She pulled a set of keys out from her jeans and unlocked it and strode inside, Duo following after her.

Not two seconds later, the door slammed shut and locked after them.

"What?** NO!**" Mimiru cried, flying for the door.

"What's wrong…despite the obvious? Can't you just unlock it?" Duo asked.

"This type of door only unlocks for the outside, and there's no emergency exits." Mimiru said, looking very worried.

"So what you're saying is there's no way out?" Duo cried.

" Uh-DUH." Mimiru said dryly.

"Perfect just perfect." Duo muttered.

"All we can do is hope that someone figures out we've been gone too long and checks out the security room." Mimiru said reasonably, "…if my sibs can remember where the security room is, that is."

"We're doomed aren't we?" Duo remarked.

"Ho yeah." Mimiru smirked grimly.

* * *

"**WU_FEEEEEEEI_! COME _BAAAAAAAAACK!_**" Misaki cried, searching high and low for the last living member of the Dragon Clan, "**WHERE DID YOU _GOOOOO?_**" 

She currently held a cheerleading uniform, curling iron and make up kit in her hands and was desperately trying to force Pilot 5 into them.

Wufei was at this time, wedged between the small void amid the refrigerator and ceiling in his attempts to escape such a horrid fate.

It was the perfect hiding place.

But not perfect enough, apparently, to deceive the Perfect Soldier and his ward.

"What on earth are you doing Chang?" Heero muttered blandly, staring up at the Chinese teen.

"I-isn't that uncomfortable?" Michiru asked, nervously tugging on her new, chin length hair.

"_SHHHHHHHHH!_" Wufei hissed, eyes darting wildly back and forth, "_She'll** hear** you!_"

"Wh-who will?" Michiru asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"_That juvenile nuisance Misaki!_" Wufei hissed, "_She **somehow** got it into her head that I should join her cheer squad and is trying to **force me** into that **god forsaken uniform!**_"

Heero stared up at Pilot 5, looking mildly amused.

"And you aren't doing it because?" Heero drawled.

Wufei glared fiercely down at Pilot 1.

"Because it's demeaning, demoralizing, humiliating, and disgraceful!" Wufei snarled, volume increasing.

"It also puts you in a better position to protect your charge." Heero smirked.

"**SADIST!**" Wufei roared, making Michiru jump.

"**AH-_HA!_ THERE YOU ARE!**" Misaki squealed, dashing into the kitchen, "Heero-kun, would you please help me catch Wufe-I mean Chun-Li?"

Heero's smirk grew slightly as he leapt up, grabbed the Chinese teen's blue tank by the collar and hauled him out of his hiding spot kicking and screaming.

"Here." Heero said.

"**WHY DID YOU _DO_ THAT?**" Wufei howled as Misaki dragged him away, singing as she went, "I'm gonna make you **_purrrdy!_** I'm gonna make your **_purrrdy!_**"

Michiru looked up at her bodyguard questioningly.

"W-why did you d-d-do that Yuy-san?" she asked.

"…because she said please." Heero replied.

* * *

"M-Maxwell…I'm g-g-g-getting really s-s-s-sleep-p-py." Mimiru hissed through chattering teeth, lids falling to half mast. 

"No fallin' asleep." Duo snapped, wrapping his coat tighter around them, "Just keep talkin'."

Duo silently thanked Professor G for his years of survival and endurance training, as it was keeping both him and his ward alive now.

But even though he was still fine, Mimiru was not.

While having incredible stamina on the dance floor, being frozen alive was a different matter.

Duo highly doubted that she, or her sisters, had been trained for this situation like he and the other Gundam pilots had.

He glanced down at his ward, held tightly to himself for warmth, quaking violently from the cold of the freezer.

_"She's fadin' fast."_ He thought watching as her lips turned even bluer and her eyelids drooped again, _"Come onnnnnnn guys figure it out!"_

* * *

(A/N: Will Mimiru and Duo be rescued in time? R&R if you wanna find out.)


	9. Mission Brief: Search & Rescue

(A/N: -sob- YOU DO CARE! BWA-HA-HAAAAAAAA! So many reviews! It makes me so happy! And so close to my birthday too -the 5th o' July-! You guys are more on top of it than my relatives! And now, without further adieu, the next chappie.)

* * *

"**HAH!** **_HAH!_** Ooo, could you fight back a **LITTLE** you creep?" Mikura snarled, lunging for Pilot 3 again. 

Trowa easily evaded Mikura's bokuto strikes by light shifts of his feet moving left right and rearward.

"**_Oooo!_** That is **_so_** annoying!" she yelled, shooting forward, now forgoing calculated strikes in favor of swinging wildly in a blind rage.

Trowa, smirking slightly, continued to elude Mikura's frenzied strikes.

"**AGAIN** with the superior smirk!" Mikura cried, exasperated, taking another swing at him, her newly cut, chest length hair, flying riotously in it's ponytail.

Not able to help himself, Trowa glided forward quickly so he was on Mikura's left, extended his foot and watched as Mikura's own momentum plowed her into the floor.

"**_OWUCH!_**" Mikura cried, a hand flying to her rear as she clamored to her feet, tears dancing in the corners of her eyes from the pain in her back, "**GEEZ!** What was **_THAT_** for?"

"You had an opening the size of the Sanq Kingdom." Trowa remarked with a small shrug, "It was just screaming, 'Attack Me'."

Mikura glowered at him, cheeks inflated…rather like a squirrel's after they've been packed with nuts.

"Jerk." She muttered, stalking to the racks to replace her bokuto, trying to block out Trowa's snickers.

"_Yeah, yeah. Just keep onlaughin' Hair-boy."_ She thought to herself, a small smile spreading across her face, _"Tomorrow's Monday, and you'll be back in drag. So who's laughin' now, punk?"_

As she replaced the wooden sword, to Trowa's surprise, Michiru and Heero walked through the entrance.

"Have you seen Maxwell lately?" Heero asked, not beating around the bush, "We've done an entire rounds of the house, and there's no sign of him."

"Nuh-uh." Mikura said with a shake of her head, "We've been here for awhileandhaven't seen hide nor hair of him. Have you checked the security room?"

"N-no." Michiru answered nervously, "I d-d-didn't think to t-take him th-th-there."

"Well, go on." Trowa said, gesturing towards the exit, "Take us there."

"O-okay." Michiru squeaked, moving towards the door, "I h-hope I r-r-remember how."

"Hey, if any of us would remember how ta find it, it's you Michi." Mikura said, "Just think about it. You go there once a year to upgrade the software and change out the DVD'S in all the recorders."

"Try to recall the path you take when going there and you be fine." Heero said calmly.

"O-okay." Michiru mumbled.

* * *

Mitsuki lay in bed, playing Poker against Quatre, which was proving a very difficult task. 

After all, you must remember, after being a Pilot, he has the huge Winner estate to manage and thus has the calculating mind of a businessman.

"_Hm…good hand."_ Quatre nodded, taking in his king/ace non-suited pair, _"I'll run with it."_

"_DAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT!"_ Mitsuki shrieked internally, staring angrily at her own jack/six non-suited pair, _"Every hand! Every GOD-DAMNED-HAND! It's not right! Its…its illegal! That's what it is!"_

She stared in absolute horror across the bed at Quatre, who returned the look with a calm, complacent smile.

"_He's totally confident!"_ Mitsuki thought in disbelief, _"Lookat that Poker face! Bastard! He knows he's won again already dammit! Gotta sike him out! Gotta sike him out! Gotta-"_

_Aw, I fold! XP **Meanie!**_ Mitsuki scowled as she typed with one hand and tossed her cards to the center of the bed with the other.

That made Quatre laugh a little.

"And what have I done exactly to warrant such a remark?" he chuckled behind his hand.

_Besides winning **every** hand? **AND** the fact that you keep on wearing that contented little smile?_ Mitsuki typed, so pissed a vein was pulsing in her temple.

"Is that all?" Quatre asked, trying very hard not to laugh out loud and anger the bleach-burned teen anymore.

…_yes?_ Mitsuki typed sheepishly, coloring faintly, the tic in her temple vanishing.

Quatre was the breaking point when the door to Mitsuki's room flew open, a red blur shot in and the door slammed itself shut as the blur darted into the closet.

Automatically raising his guard, Quatre stood up and inched his way towards the closet and threw the doors open with a bang.

* * *

"Huh-**_HWAHAHAHA!_**" Quatre howled, now on his knees and pounding the carpet with his fists. 

Wufei (ha! Chang's in the closet!) stood there, dressed in red spandex/lycra short-shorts, a red midriff exposing tank (more like sports bra) red cowgirl fringed leg-warmers, and red Addidas. His hair waspinned into a black wig that was pulled into psychotically curly, sparkly (spray on kind) pigtails.

"_Shut **up!** She'll hear you! I only just escaped!_" Wufei hissed, trying to clamp his hands down over Quatre's mouth.

Quietly, Mitsuki typed a message into her PDA, turn up the volume on it's speakers, and pressed a specific button.

"**OH MIS_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!_**"

A loud, bellowing, mechanical voice was emitted from the tiny device.

"**_NO!_**" Wufei screeched diving for Mitsuki, who was quaking in silent laughter.

The door to the room flew open with a bang.

"**THERE** you are Wufei!" Misaki cried happily, grabbing him by a pigtail, "Thankies Mitsu!"

_No prob!_ Mitsuki typed quickly as her elder sibling dragged the Chinese boy out the room.

"Hey…why didn't you use that feature before?" Quatre asked, calming down enough to speak.

_It drains the battery._ Mitsuki replied _Only in emergency situations like that.

* * *

_

"Oh no you don't. Wakey-wakey, Mimi!"

Duo slapped Mimiru's cheek again, making the nearly insensible teen groan feebly in his determination to keep her awake.

It had been close to two hours now and he knew the eldest's quint's body couldn't hold out much longer.

Duo himself was only now starting feeling the cold, which he knew wasn't good with his extreme survival training.

He drew his jacket tighter around the two of them, feeling the tremors ripping through Mimiru's body that much more.

At this distance, one could appreciate the layer of ice that was beginning to establish itself in her hair.

Duo was just proud of himself for preventing frost bite from preying on Mimiru.

"_Pah…just walked right into this one."_ Duo snorted to himself, _"Why didn't I stop and stand guard outside again?"_

"Because you we're to busy grumbling to yourself about how grueling Milliardo and Mimiru's training is." a little voice inside his head chided.

"Riiiiiiight." Duo drawled, watching his frozen breath hang in the air, as he drew Mimiru closer in a fruitless attempt to keep her quaking body warm, "That was real bright wasn't it? Gotta remember t' never do **THAT** again."

A blinding light blocked Pilot 2's vision momentarily as without any kind of warning, the door to the meat locker was blown off it's hinges.

"About time." Duo muttered as Trowa, Michiru, Heero, remote detonator in hand, and Mikura came rushing into the freezer with blankets.

"How long have you been in here?" Heero demanded as Mikura and Michiru started wrapping Duo and Mimiru up in the blankets.

"Do I look like the type to wear a watch?" Duo retorted blandly, pulling the blanket a little tighter around himself as her watched Michiru and Mikura roll Mimiru up like a croissant.

"No idea, huh?" Trowa muttered, hefting the Mimiru-burrito up, "No matter. We better get you two inside."

* * *

"_Hot…Christ, it's hot."_

Faces swam before Sugino Mimiru eyes, fading in, fading out, never sharp. Foreign.

"…Shock…Fever…Here…" an unfamiliar voice mutters.

One of the faces lifted her arm.

At least, she thought it was her arm. It felt like her arm. There was a prick. A sting. She hated the sting.

Mimiru groaned, trying to glare at the jackass who had assaulted her arm.

"_What are you doing? No, no, go away."_

"No. This is going to help, Mimiru-san. I promise." Another voice.

Lucid now. Voices, not faces. Never the faces.

But Mimiru didn't remember speaking.

"_The sting. Your fault! Yours! Don't talk. Talk of promises… Promises break. Lies. All lies. This is not help. Torture. Madness. No, I won't tell you!"_

Another face swims into view and she began to fight to escape.

"_Get away. Run. Far."_

Arms grabbed her, though. Wrapped around her and pinned her down, squeezing the life out of her. Like iron bars. Compressing her lungs.

Mimiru gasped.

"_Can't breathe. Won't tell. Won't tell."_

"You don't have to tell us anything." Says a third voice soothingly.

This voice was close against her, breathing in her ear. Familiar. She shudder.

"_Monsters. Demons. I don't know you. I don't know you! No, no, no! Bastards! Liars! It's just an act. LIARS! You can't make me tell, so kill me now! Like you killed **her** you sado-masochistic assholes!"_

"Shh." the first voice hissed. The voice that had pricked her.

"_No, I won't!"_

Something cold dropped on her forehead. Wet. The cold burned. Mimiru shudder. She groped for the cold; flung it aside…or tried to. But hands grabbed hers. They took the cold and put it back on Mimiru's skin. She moaned.

"_This is torture. I'm so hot."_

She pushed herself up, arms quaking.

"_Ha!"_

She dove and escaped…for about five seconds.

Arms clamped around her, pulling Mimiru back, crushing her.

"Mimi, calm **down!** You're okay. You're safe. You just have a fever. You're just sick." A fourth voice.

"_Sick? Sick? **You're** sick!"_

She pushed, scratched, fought, but the arms were too strong.

"_No! You can't. Air. Spots. I can't breathe. Can't breathe. Let! **Go!**"_

Mimiru's foot rocketed into skin. A hand grabbed Mimiru's leg and forced it back down.

"Jezus **_Christ_**, Mimi!" the fourth voice wheezed.

The arms released her but another pair pinned her down.

"You can fight back when you're better," says a fifth voice, far too calm given the situation.

"_No!" _

She fought again but it was useless.

"Are you sure she's okay, Po-san?" another voice.

"_Liar!"_

"Mm. The shot I gave her should start taking affect any moment now." said the first voice.

"_Let go…Let **go!** What did you do…to…me…"

* * *

_

Heero released his grip on the now unconscious, feverish Mimiru's shoulders and went to stand beside his ward.

Trowa, taking his cue from Heero, freed his hands from Mimiru's sinewy calves took to Mikura's side.

"Oh shit **ow!**" Duo rasped, hands at his throat, rubbing the site where Mimiru had kicked him, "I'm beginning to feel a small degree of pity for the first guy who assaulted her. That girl kicks like a **_mule!_**" (see ch.5)

"It's your own fault for not evading fast enough." Wufei snorted, out of the cheer uniform and back in his usual mind frame.

"Wow, Wufei. Your sympathetic capacityis just amazing!" Misaki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes (a little irked that he had managed to escape again and get it off)

"M-Misaki…" Michiru stammered, chewing on her thumbnail until Heero promptly extracted it from her mouth.

"It's a bad habit." he muttered, releasing her wrist so it fell to her side.

"She didn't even recognize us." Mikura remarked, shaking her head, "Wow…"

_That's not good._ Mitsuki typed, looking worried as she leaned against Quatre for support.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice Sally." Quatre said with a nod of appreciation.

"Not a problem." Sally smiled, "She should be fine within three days or so, if she sticks to her antibiotics."

Trowa and Heero shared a look and nodded. They had managed to pick up on what the others had missed. Someone had been killed before, probably in Mimiru's presence. They equally doubted that was just a facet of a fever dream.

They stored it away for later. They would question the eldest quint when she was well.

"Duo…" Sally said slowly, peering at him and snapping both Trowa and Heero out of their haze and snap to attention, "I need to examine **_you_**, too."

"Whuh-what?" Duo wheezed nervously, hands still at his throat.

"You just sustained a serious blow to your gullet." Sally scowled, "Not to mention spending umpteen hours in a meat locker. And there's the fact that you skipped your last physical and-**_HEY!_ GET _BACK _HERE YOU!**"

Duo, caught in the act of trying to sneak out of the room, turned to flash a devil-may-care grin at Sally before running like mad out of the room to escape.

"Damn that boy!" Sally growled, "Heero, go drag him back here!…please."

Rising to his feet, dusting himself off, he sighed a little.

"Might as well." The Perfect Soldier said offhandedly as followed after the self-proclaimed Shinigami, "Can't have him shirking off anymore in the bodyguard department."

* * *

(A/N: Heero and Trowa question Mimiru. Mikura is assaulted. Sky Manyu returns and interferes in the plans of another jealous ex. R&R!) 


	10. Mission Brief: The List

(A/N: To all who reviewed last chappie: TANK KYUU FOH DA B-DAY PWESENT! It made me so happy! And now, the next chappie!)

* * *

Duo sulked silently next Mimiru's bedside, arm throbbing dully where Sally had pricked him with at least thirteen inoculations.

"It's your own fault for running." Quatre chuckled behind his hand from his seat in an easy chair, **Animal Farm** open in his hands.

"It's only an itsy-bitsy wittle needle." Misaki giggled from her spot on the floor, a cheerleading magazine open in front of her.

"Don't tell me the all powerful Shinigami is a needle phobe." Wufei smirked from his perch in the window sill.

_Shinigami? The God of Death? How arrogant can ya get?_ Mitsuki typed from the bed next to Mimiru, a smile on her lips.

"**ARE YOU ALL DONE _RIPPIN'_ ON ME YET?**" Duo yelled, slamming a fist onto Mimiru's bed, before thinking twice about whichlimb he was using, causing pain to shoot through his arm from the tetanus shot Sally had oh-so-happily given him .

"Obviously not." Trowa smirked from his spot in the corner, where he was playing chess with Heero while Mikura and Michiru watched on.

"Duo, you **_better_** not wake Mimi up." Mikura said reproachfully, quirking an eyebrow in the braided boy's direction as Trowa captured Heero's rook.

"P-please Maxwell-san, d-d-do be more c-careful." Michiru stammered as Heero, after a moment or two of contemplation, captured Trowa's bishop.

"Yuh-yeah…sure…" Duo squeaked as wave after wave of pain undulated through his arm.

"_Too little too late."_ He thought mournfully, cursing Sally to an early grave, but knowing that Wufei would undoubtedly stop him even as he thought it.

A loud gurgling sound tore through the near silent room making all pilots leap on guard, whipping out guns from concealed locations.

"Uh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh." Mikura chuckled, placing her hands on her complaining belly.

_Guess we know what time it is, huh._ Mitsuki typed, smiling sheepishly, a hand on her own stomach.

"I guess I could make dinner, seeing as Mimiru is out of commission." Quatre offered, closing his book.

"Oh don't worry." Misaki said cheerfully, "We'll make something."

* * *

Mimiru eyes flew open at those words, making Duo yelp and fall backwards off the edge of the bed in surprise. 

She shot out of bed, and stumbled across the room to the exit, grabbing onto the doorjamb for support, coughing violently.

"Mimiru, Stop** right** there! What exactly do you think you're doing?" Wufei snorted, trying to force her back into bed.

"You…you don't under**_stand_**." Mimiru hissed out between fits of coughing, swatting Pilot 5's hands away, "Hold…hold on."

She wobbled out of the room, the G-Boys following her all the way, into the kitchen.

They watched as she fumbled around, searching for something, which she found after a moment or two and thrust into Heero's hands.

"What is this?" Heero asked mildly as he registered the object that had been shoved into his hands.

"That…" Mimiru muttered as she allowed herself to slide to the floor,"…is a completelist of all the things in the kitchen my sisters are no longer allowed to touch."

"It's ten pages long!" Quatre cried as Heero thumbed through it.

"Case and point." Mimiru coughed, elbow over her mouth , "So unless your willing to brave my sibs nuclear cuisine, I suggest you either A) get me a surgical mask and let me cook, B) order take out, or C) let Winner cook, which at the moment, I'm all for."

She then doubled over in a fit of coughing brought on by all the talking she just did while the group did a group consensus.

"All in favor of takeout, raise your hand." Trowa said nonchalantly.

Mikura and Duo's hands jumped into the air.

"All in favor of Quatre cooking?" Wufei drawled.

Eight hands flew skywards, drawing groans of annoyance from Duo and Mikura.

"It's settled then." Quatre said smilingly, "I'll do the cooking tonight. Duo, please assist Mimiru back to bed."

"Yeah, yeah." Duo grumbled as he shifted his charge on his back, disappointed that he wouldn't be dining on pizza tonight.

"Ugh…sorry…for being born…Maxwell." Mimiru snorted between coughs as Duo set her back down on her bed.

"Pah." Duo grunted.

"God, Maxwell…what's your prob- Jeezus-Tap-Dancing-Christ-What-Happened-To-Your-Throat?" Mimiru gaped, eyes locked on the huge colorful bruise that covered the majority of his gullet.

"You happened to my throat." Duo snorted derisively, "Has anyone ever told you that you've got some psychotically strong gams on you?"

"…oh. Okay." Mimiru nodded, eyes now focusing on the door way as hero and Trowa entered.

"_Whuh-what the HELL?"_ Duo thought wildly, face contorted in disbelief, _"Okay. Who the hell went and stole this girl's estrogen? Her sisters were fawnin' over me left an' right! SHE couldn't care LESS that she clocked me in the gullet! …bitch!"

* * *

_

"Mimiru…we have some questions for you, if you don't mind." Trowa said mildly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I can't guarantee…I'll answer, but you're welcome to ask." Mimiru replied between coughs as Heero took a seat beside Duo.

"A concise answer." Heero replied, "Very well. In your fit, you said something about someone who had been killed. Any thoughts on that?"

Mimiru's eyes widened slightly…then narrowed into slits.

"…I'll tell you…only if all three of you guarantee that what I say never leaves this room." She muttered, "You can feel free to share it with the other guards…but never my sisters, understand?"

The three pilots shared a perplexed look, before turning to nodded at the eldest quint.

"Alright." She muttered, coughing into her hand, "My sisters…they all think our mother died in a car wreck on her way…to one of her concerts. That isn't the case."

Mimiru paused for a another coughing fit before continuing.

"It happened back when we were five…visiting my father's parent's in Venice." She pressed, "While there, I became ill, and our mother chartered…a private plane to take she and I back to Japan. But…it was hijacked. "

Mimiru's face grimaced in pain as she continued.

"Rape…torture…they did unspeakable things to my mother." She muttered, "The disfigured her…until she didn't look human anymore. When they were through with her…they said…they only needed…one hostage…and that my mother was more than enough. They…pulled a gun on me…and fired."

Mimiru fell silent.

"She took the bullet for you…didn't she?" Trowa asked.

Mimiru nodded.

"My father paid the ransom…and lied to my sisters…so they wouldn't be damaged…like me." Mimiru said dully, eyes glassy, "I've answered your question. Now please leave."

With a nodded all three got off the bed and exited the room, Duo standing guard just outside the door.

"So…she lives with that kind of knowledge, mm?" Heero asked no one in particular as he and Trowa strode back downstairs to the kitchen.

"I always thought she seemed…unlike her sisters." Trowa murmured as they reached the foot of the stairs.

"Agreed." Heero said briskly as they entered the kitchen where dinner awaited them, "She's of the lone wolf kind. The type who prefer to keep to themselves."

* * *

"Hot **_damn_** your cooking's good." Mikura purred, leaning back contentedly in her chair and sighing happily. 

"Why thank you." Quatre smile as he cleared away the plates.

"Here! Let us-!" Misaki started, reaching for a plate.

"On the list." Wufei interjected, flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for, "Number 253: Dish soap when combined withdishware."

_Oh yeah…the Pfeiffer incident._ Mitsuki typed, coloring slightly.

"A-at least Gretchen didn't have any p-p-permanent scarring...I think." Michiru stuttered.

Mikura got up, drawling that she was going to the little girl's room, and barely took five steps when a figure in black slammed her to the floor.

"Get…**_OFF ME_**you **ASSHOLE!**" she snarled, kicking the person in the stomach, throwing them off her and into the awaiting arms of Heero Yuy.

"M-Mikura!" Michiru cried, "Are you-?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Mikura sighed, massaging a sore tendon in her shoulder, "Just a little banged up."

"Now who have we here?" Heero asked mildly, wrenching the black stocking mask off the assailant's face.

There was a loud grunt and a hiss of pain from Heero and before anyone knew quite what had happened, the figure had escaped by leaping through a window (not open btw)

"I don't…**_BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE _IT!**" Misaki screeched, taking in the sight of Heero writhing in pain on the floor, "The pussy **MACED'EM!** Of all the low, scummy, pansy-assed things t' do, he went and **_MACED'EM!_**"

Mikura stormed passed a slack jawed Wufei, through the shattered glass littering the floor to the window.

"**GET _BACK HERE_ YOU _PUSSY!_**" She shrieked, waving her fist, "**GET YOUR _PANSY ASS_ BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE _MAN_ YOU _ASSHOLE!_**"

Through burning, red, tear loaded eyes, Heero let loose what was unmistakably a laugh.

"G-guys…" Michiru mumbled, looking thoroughly ashamed.

_Aw, lighten up Michi!_ Mitsuki typed, a grinned on her face, _You need to remove whatever metal object's been shoved up your ass! Have some fun!

* * *

_

The next morning, though still a little pale, Mimiru stumbled out of her room, thoroughly startling Duo.

"Hey Maxwell, where're Hair-boy and Stone Face?" she asked mildly, looking far more lively than yesterday.

"…downnnnstairs…why?" Duo asked warily, quirking an eyebrow.

"'kay. Cause Ihafta apologize for acting like such 'tard." Mimiru replied calmly, wobbling towards the stairs.

"Whaddya mean?" Duo asked, eyebrow still raised as he followed her down the stairs.

She gave no reply but instead began looking around for Heero and Trowa.

Duo gave the back of her head a look.

"_Bitch."_ He thought huffily.

"Ahhh…there they are." Mimiru murmured, spotting the other four G-Boy's around the kitchen table.

Giving a small cough into her hand, she walked over to them, Duo on her heels, sulking all the way.

"Good morning, Mimiru." Trowa said calmly from behind a newspaper, a plate of half-eaten cereal in front of him.

"Did you sleep well?" Heero asked nonchalantly, lifting coffee mug to his lips while reaching for a fork to spear a sausage link.

"I need to apologize for last night." Mimiru sighed, "I started my monthly last night so…yeah."

Heero dropped his mug and Trowa ripped his paper in half.

Wufei, who had been eating waffles, began choking and Quatre began performing the Heimlich.

"I mean seriously…I'm never usually so weird about howmyMom." Mimiru shrugged, "I'm only warning you now cause I'm slightly sane-took a Midol thirty minutes ago."

"Hey…" Wufei rasped, airway clear, "…that myth about women…syncing up on their…on their…you know…"

"Myth? What myth?" Quatre said, beginning to look verrrrrrrrrrrynervous, "It's no myth. And I should know."

The color drained from the boy's faces as four sets of feet stomped into the kitchen.

* * *

"**WHERE THE _FUCK'S_ MY BREAKFAST?**" Michiru snarled, so bitchy she didn't stutter, a vein pulsing in her forehead. 

"St-stop **_YELLING_** **AT ME!**" Mikura sobbed, crumpling to the floor, drawing in a deep breath, "**_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**"

"I am the Angel of Death." Misaki muttered, eyeing the knife rack, "The time of purification is at hand."

_School sucks. Life sucks. Everything sucks. **God,** I'm depressed._ Mitsuki typed, a glum expression on her face as she sat down next to Mikura.

"Ohhh…shit." Wufei hissed, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Uh-um-err-uh-!" Quatre stammered, backing up against a wall as Michiru cornered him with a butter knife.

"…what on earth…has gotten into them?" Heero mumbled making sure he was between Misaki and the knife rack at all times.

"Mikura…calm down." Trowa murmured, trying to pacify his ward, but only succeed in drawing even louder wails from her.

"**I-I-_I'M_ S-_SO_ S-S-S-_SORRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!_**" Mikura howled, " **EVERYTHING'S ALWAYS _MY_ FAULT!** **_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!_**"

"Aw, shaddap, ya whiny**_ WHORE!_** Nobody wants ta listen t' **_YOU_** anyway!" Michiru snarled, throwing a poisonous glare at her sibling.

"Death will come on swift wings." Misaki mumbled, trying to maneuver around Heero to get at the knives, "I am it's messenger."

_Why did I even bother to get outta bed today?_ Mitsuki typed, looking even more miserable, _Life's just one big shithole anyway._

"**_QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!_**"

The room fell silent and nobody even twitched.

"Michiru, breakfast is on the table, right in front of you, smart one." Mimiru coughed, looking unbelievably irritable, "Mikura, if you don't shut up and eat in the next two seconds, I'll rip out your vocal cords myself. Misaki, you can go on your killing spree **AFTER **school. Mitsuki? Don't wanna hear your _'I'm-depressed-the-world-is-a-dark-lightless-hellhole'_ schpeal. Eat breakfast. Get ready for school. Now."

The four girls were at the table stuffing their faces in the space it takes to blink.

* * *

Sky Manyu jogged down the street on his usual route. 

It had been over three weeks since Mimiru had broken it off with him and he couldn't help but wonder how she was doing.

However, as he jogged along, Sky's mind drifted not to thoughts of his former girlfriend, but to his current crush, Brooke Stevens.

As he daydreamed, he allowed himself to be distracted from the path before him and wound up crashing into a person hunch up on the side of the street.

"**_OW!_** Ah **shit **man!" Sky hissed, massaging his now bleeding elbow, "I'm sorry du-…"

He stopped when he realized he was in front of the Sugino Estate and that the unfortunate "bystandard" was none other than Hatozaki Tsunuga, rigging up a sludge bomb to the gate.

"What th' hell dya think you're doing?" Sky asked shrewdly, "Get outta here."

Scrabbling to his feet and throwing Sky a dirty look over his shoulder, Hatozaki scurried away like a junkyard rat.

With a derisive snort, Sky ripped it off the gate and continued on his jog.

* * *

(A/N: More cross dressing, fun with Milliardo and Duo, and...relocation? R&R!)


	11. Mission Brief: Hormones and Hell's Gates

(A/N: Yay! I love my reviewers! You're all so nice! You even remember my b-day and send me piccys! Which is a real spirit lifter when you're sick! And to show my appreciatioon, here's the next chappie! Enjoy!)

* * *

Wufei sat in front of Mimiru fidgeting every so often as she switched out applicators.

The Sugino Quints, minus one, sat around the kitchen table, waiting to leave for school as Mimiru and Duo, looking happier than he had in a long time, prepped Pilot's 1, 3-5 for school.

"Sorry I'm not the God O' Makeup my sibs are." She sighed, pausing a moment or two to cough into her elbow, "I usually have a makeup artist do my mine for me, soooo…yeah."

As she reached for a lipgloss pencil, Wufei's face creased into a frown.

"How come you're the only one of them acting normally?" He groused, "You guys took Midol, right? Then why are they-!"

Mimiru's hand clamped around Wufei's chin and the hand holding the lipgloss came dangerously close to his left eye.

"DON'T generalize." She smirked, "Just cuz I take it, doesn't mean THEY do. They don't want to form a dependency on it, so they don't take Midol, get it?"

Wufei squeaked and nodded as a far too happy Duo set to work bobbypinning the black wig to his head.

"**AI _YO!_**"(1) Wufei hissed, twisting in Mimiru's grip to glare at Duo, "I **_swear_** if you _**pierce **_my **_scalp_** **one-_more_-time-!**"

"Shut up and pucker, Chun-Li." Mimiru commanded, forcing Wufei's head back and pressing the lipgloss to his lips harder than necessary.

Ignoring the Shenlong pilot's squeals of protest, Mimiru finished up and moved on to Quatre, who thankfully was the last one. Heero and Trowa, having very masculine jawlines, had been up first.

* * *

Not surprisingly, Quatre held very still and did exactly as he was told, unlike the rebellious Wufei, making it so Mimiru was far gentler with him than she had been with the Dragon Clan survivor.

Duo, just to be vindictive, made a great production of meticulously pinning the wig to Quatre's head with slow, kind hands, drawing the most venomous of glares from Wufei.

"_Waaaaah…make him stop."_ Quatre sobbed internally under Wufei's poisonous stare which Mimiru, in her virus ridden state, was completely oblivious to (either that, or she just doesn't care; you decide)

Trowa and Heero shared a look and nodded.

Trowa withdrew three concealed throwing blades from within his school uniform top while Heero extracted his trusty Haskell 45 Auto Pistol from a thigh holster hidden beneath his skirt (which thankfully knee length) and advanced on Wufei.

"Done." Duo said with a satisfied smirk as Wufei was hauled off by Trowa and Heero at gunpoint, "Have a good day Q, ya heart breaker."

Quatre glowered at Duo as he rose to his feet, giving the regulation skirt he wore a self-conscious tug as he went.

"Don't worry too much Winner." Mimiru said, coughing into her elbow as she walked the group to the door, "Maxwell isn't getting off easy. Milliardo's coming over today for another practice session."

"Whuh-what?" Duo stammered as Wufei suddenly became far more complacent, "Y-you're…you're joking, right?"

"Like fun I am." Mimiru snorted, massaging the swollen glands in her throat, "He'll be here within the hour."

A sadistic smirk flitted across Heero's Covergirl coated lips as Duo went white with horror.

"**_HEY, DIPWADS!_**" Michiru growled, looking ready to blow, "Are we **GOIN'** or **_WHAT?_**"

"I'm sorry." Mikura sniffed, looking like she would start bawling at any second, "I-I'm always holding us up."

"Like a great plague, I shall sweep across this land." Misaki mumbled, thumbing Michiru's discarded butter knife.

_Why am I doing this again?_ Mitsuki typed, giving a quiet sigh, _It looks like it's gonna rain anyway._

"It appears…we are all on even footing now, Duo." Trowa said with a wry smile as Wufei extracted the butter knife from Misaki's grip.

"Good luck Maxwell." Heero said as Michiru grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him out the door, swearing under her breath the entire way.

"You'll need it." Quatre said with a far too happy smile as he led Mitsuki out, left arm wrapped around her shoulders as he pushed her along with his right.

"Huh-**HEY!** **_WAIT!_**" Duo cried as they shuffled out the door

"Have fun with Peacecraft." Wufei smirked scathingly dragging Misaki along, "Give him my 'warmest' regards."

"**AK!**" Duo sputtered as the door shut behind them with an echoing **_-THM-_** leaving just him and his recovering charge in the house.

"What are you waiting around for?" Mimiru snorted, coughing into her elbow again, "Go get changed."

"**B-but, but, but-!**" Duo cried in protest, looking ready for a long heated argument.

**_-DINNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNN-_**

"Now." Mimiru said, a poisonous smile taking over her face as she went to answer the door.

"**HEEP!**" Duo chuckled nervously, booking up the stairs to do what he was told.

**_Rule Number One When Dealing With Hormonal Women:_** _When They're On Rag, Don't Pose Too Many Complaints.

* * *

_

"This a disaster." Noin moaned, massaging her left temple with her hand, inspecting the daily reports filed by the Five Pilots.

"Even with their presence, the situation hasn't changed in the slightest." Noin sighed, lowering the paperwork onto her desk, "Ugh…what a nightmare."

_**-KNOK-KNOK-**_

"Mm? Come in." Noin said absently, continuing to read the reports, "The door's open."

The mechanical hydraulics systems that powered the door fired into action as the visitor enter the room.

"Oh, Sally. Hey." Noin said sheepishly, looking unbelievably frazzled as she paused to greet her guest.

"Did I come at a bad time?" Sally chuckled, noting the disarray that had once been the Lieutenant's desk.

"No…no. I need a break anyway." Noin sighed, rising from her office chair.

"Apparently." Sally snickered as they left Noin's workspace, "Your office looks like it's a battle scarred war survivor."

"…shut up." Noin grumped as the pair entered the Mess Hall and strode towards the coffee maker, "Things have gotten unbelievable lately."

"Do tell." Sally said, quirking an eyebrow as she waited for her paper cup to fill.

"Well you know about the whole situation with Sugino Hatake and his family right?" Noin asked, lifting her cup to her lips as she and Sally looked for a table.

"Of course." Sally smirked, "Gossip travels, even in a base this size."

Sally paused and stared at the dark brown liquid she held between her hands.

"Are the rumors true?" She muttered, "About Hatake? Is he really-?"

"Mm." Noin nodded, taking a deep swig of her coffee, "He's being cared for at our headquarters on the Moon. For safety's sake and all."

"I see." Sally murmured, face creasing with concern, "The poor man."

"Things cannot continue as they are."

Both women spun around, almost scalding themselves with the searing hot liquid they held.

"D-Doctor J? Master O." Noin murmured, obviously surprised at their sudden appearance at the Preventer's Japan Base.

"Professor G? Doctor S. Instructor H. What are you all doing here?" Sally asked warily, letting her hand lazily drift to the concealed pistol in her jacket.

"No need to fret ladies." Professor G chuckled, "We mean no harm."

"Huh." Noin snorted, sardonically,"We'll see about that."

"We are simply concerned for the safety of our boys." Doctor S said with a smile.

"Is that really so hard to believe?" Master O asked.

"To be frank?" Noin and Sally said in unison, "YES."

* * *

"Honestly Maxwell, are you even trying?" Milliardo snickered cynically after Duo had face planted for the umpteenth time.

"**WOULD I _BE HERE_ IF I WASN'T _TRYING _DAMNIT?**" Duo screeched, glaring ferociously at the older man.

Today, Milliardo had decided to take the training up a notch and have Duo and himself perform the Pasa Doble as a whole, with both the female and male footwork.

Milliardo having worked with Mimiru earlier, already knew the female footwork and was taking her place until he felt Duo was up to par.

However, Duo far from being comfortable with "dancing with a dude" as he so eloquently put it, was being unbelievably difficult and ended up blocking out all he had already been taught and tripping over his own feet.

"Yes, I do." Milliardo sneered as Duo pulled himself to his feet, "In fact, I know you'd be here."

"Oh?" Duo snorted derisively, inspecting himself for bruises, "And why is that pray tell?"

"Because I could always just give Lucreizia a call." Milliardo said tauntingly, unsheathing a cellphone from his back pocket.

"**YOU _ASSHOLE!_**" Duo yelled, "I can **DO** my damn **_JOB!_**"

Mimiru, who had been watching from a corner the entire, quirked her eyebrow in Duo's direction after this little outburst.

An avalanche of cold cascaded down the Deathscythe pilot's spine as he turned to find himself under Mimiru's critical, artic, hormone-charged (the Midol's wearing off) gaze.

"Uh…uh-um…l-let's run through…that one again, kay?" Duo stuttered, looking straight into Mimiru's icy, hazel green eyes with fear gripping his heart.

Now, in his head, he knew he didn't have much to fear from the short, skinny little teenager, with no combat training under her belt to speak of.

But there was something about her at the moment that truly terrified him.

It was totally irrational.

I mean really, what could this short, currently sick, teenager, do to him? A trained combat specialist/Gundam Pilot?

"Well?" Mimiru drawled, narrowing her eyes slightly and lowering the corners of her mouth into a frown, "What are you waiting for…Maxwell?"

"Y-yes ma'am." Duo squeaked, the ice cold thrills of fear gushing down his spine.

* * *

"We're back." Quatre called, dragging the dark cloud of gloom that was Mitsuki behind him.

"**_Nu Ren!_ Zhen Ma Fan!**"(2) Wufei panted, trying not to reminisce on the destruction Misaki wrought during lunch with the school's ride-on floor waxer (3).

"**WHO THE _FUCK _CARES?**" Michiru snarled, Heero following a few steps behind her for safety's sake, "Th' whole shitty world** SUCKS** no matter **_WHERE_** ya go!"

Trowa said nothing, but led his sobbing charge by the hand, looking unbelievably frazzled.

She had cried in English when the teacher had called on her, cried in P.E. when she was the second to last one picked for dodgeball, Hell, she had cried during lunch when she realized she hadn't gotten a pudding snack.

"Huh-hey."

They G-Boy's eyes turned to the living room where Duo lay sluggishly, looking as though the effort of lifting his own head might kill him.

"What happened to you?" Quatre cried, looking alarmed.

"…do you really need to ask." Duo mumbled, not opening his eyes.

"I suppose not." Trowa smirked tiredly.

"Mimi made snacks." Duo muttered, summoning up the strength to point to the kitchen, "She labeled'em too. Not sure why."

The G-Boy's exchanged confused looks as the Sugino's went for the snacks: Brownies that had names written on them in icing.

They were amazed that only two minutes after imbibing the snacks, all four girls immediately returned to their normal selves.

"Y-Y-Yuy-san?" Michiru stammered, coloring nervously at his cold stare, "Wh-whatever is th-th-the matter?"

"Hey Wufei…wow, you look awful dude." Misaki grinned, "**_Somebody needs a hug!_**" she cried glomping Pilot 5 and making him shout loudly at the UPC (4)

"Hey Trowa, can you help me with my math homework?" Mikura asked the now wide eyed Pilot 3, "I hate math."

_Quatre, are you cooking dinner again?_ Mitsuki asked the gaping blonde, _Last night's dinner was sooooo yummy!_

_**Rule Number Two When Dealing With Hormonal Women:** When On The Rag, Chocolate Is A Miracle Worker…Especially When It's Laced With Midol, Courtesy Of Mimiru._

_

* * *

_

Heero, out of his feminine garb, sat in front of his laptop in Michiru's room.

Michiru herself was working on improving the Sugino Estate's security system on her own laptop, the schematics of a rather threatening Doomsday looking device on the screen.

Heero paid this little mind as he was slightly surprised to see an email from Noin.

He clicked on the link as brought up the message, which read as follows:

_Dear Pilots 1-5,_

_You're assistance in the Sugino Case has been greatly appreciated. _

_However, since the situation has yet to improve, we are imposing immediate relocation orders._

_You Pilots and the Sugino Quints, shall be transferred to the Preventer's Base in Japan._

_The schooling situation for the girls shall not change unless the immediate threat increases._

_A transporter, piloted by Sally Po, shall arrive at 5:OO P.M._

_Tell the Sugino's to bring only the essentials as the rest shall be provided for them._

_Sincerely,_

_Baronette Lucreizia Noin

* * *

_

(A/N: The Sugino's are relocated and...SAY WHAT? Oh...my god. The Doctor's did WHAT? To find out, R&R!)

* * *

(1) "AI YO!" - a Chinese exclamation of pain

(2) "Nu Ren! Zhen Ma Fan!" -"Women!What a bother!"

(3) Ride On Floor Waxer- my school has one, and seriously dudes and dudettes, it looks like sucha trip! Just once, I wanna steal it and ride it through the halls! It looks like a zamboni, only it waxes floors! I know it sounds stupid, but...I wanna ride on it!

(4) UPC - **_U_**nwanted **_P_**hysical **_C_**ontact


	12. Mission Brief: You Have GOT To Be Kiddin

(A/N: Hey all! Sorry I took so long! I hope your ready for what the doc's do to the Sugino's! Without further adieu, here's the next chappie!)

* * *

Sally drove along, a smirk on her lips. 

She wouldn't have believed the situation the Gundam Pilots were in if she hadn't witnessed it with her own eyes.

She had arrived, five o' clock on the dot, and knocked on the door, but no one had answered the door.

Slightly concerned, she tried the door and found, to her amazement, that it was unlocked (she made a mental note to chew out the pilots latter)

After opening the door, Sally's blue eyes widened in disbelief as Chang Wufei darted past in drag, with Trowa "Transvestite" Barton hot on his heels.

"Wh…what on-okay. It's official." Sally declared, sinking shakily to the floor, "I have lost my mind."

"**_Hey!_** I remember you!"

Sally glanced up to see a familiar face grinning down at her.

"You're the one who helped Mimi out before." Misaki grinned, "Sally, right?"

Without a word of warning, Sally reached up and grabbed hold of the Cheerleading Quint's pigtails, jerking her down to the braided woman's eye level.

"You just saw Chang and Barton run upstairs in full female garb and makeup, right?" she asked hurriedly.

"Y-yes." Misaki squeaked, eyes watering in pain, "Now _**pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease**_ lemme go!"

"Oh. Sorry." Sally said apologetically, releasing Misaki's hair.

"Hey, what's goin' on here?" Mikura asked, exiting from the downstairs dojo to peer at Misaki as she massaged her scalp.

"Just clearing a few things up." Sally replied swiftly before the pigtailed girl could open her mouth.

"Huh…well, whatever." she shrugged, dumping a duffel bag on the floor, "I just finished packing. Howabout you Misa?"

"Uh-right." Misaki said shiftily, getting to her feet in a hurry, "Packed..."

Michiru stumbled unsteadily down the stairs with Heero not two steps behind her.

"Hey." Sally said with a tiny smile as Michiru dumped her things by the door, breathing hard, "…crossdressing, huh?"

Michiru squeaked, coloring a deep tomato red, and darting into the kitchen.

Heero merely nodded.

"It was in accordance with their schooling situation." Heero replied blandly.

"I see." Sally said, smirking broadly now, "You sure you weren't just curious?"

Of course, not milliseconds later, Sally found herself staring down the barrel of a gun, the blade of katana, and three throwing knives.

"_Lesson learned."_ Sally chuckled to herself, _"Apparently this mission has taken its toll on their masculinity."

* * *

_

As they approached the base, Sally felt the back of her shoulder being assaulted by a rapid succession of pokes.

Slowing down, she turned to view Mitsuki, who stared at her with avid curiosity written all over her face.

_Are we there yet?_ Mitsuki typed, _Howbout now? Now? **Now?** Huh? Huh? Huh?_

"Just afew more minutes, I promise." Sally said sheepishly, putting a little pressure on the gas pedal.

"Mitsuki, I assure you, we'll be there shortly." Quatre said sheepishly, while thinking, _"I only told her that about five times already."_

"Take a PILL Mitsu." Mikura snorted, pulling her sibling back, "I know you hate sitting still, but don't turn into Misa, please?"

Trowa gave no input; he had wisely decided to forgo any idiocy that occurred during the trip and had dozed off three minutes after their departure from the Sugino Estate.

Michiru squirmed uncomfortably in her own seat, wishing she had access to her laptop (currently stowed in the back) currently sandwiched between Heero (on her right) and her duffel bag (on her left)

"**_WHOOOOOOOOOOA!_**" Misaki cried, eyes widening into saucers as she pressed herself against the window, "Is **THAT** the **_BASE?_** It's**_ HUUUUUUUUUGE!_**"

"Sit down, **fool.**" Wufei growled, gripping his charge's shoulder and shoving her forcefully back down into the seat, "Why did I have to get stuck with this juvenile nuisance?"

"Misaki, quit acting like a retard." Mimiru drawled wryly, looking thunderous as it had been over six hours since her last Midol, "Chang? Unless you're somehow **_magically_** related to us, shut your hole before I kick your nads into your vagina."

Duo began choking on the blueberry muffin he was eating as he doubled over in his seat, quaking in silent laughter.

Wufei purpled and looked ready to dive over the seats and rip her head clean off her shoulders, and probably would have if Heero hadn't whipped his Haskell .45 Auto Pistol out of holster beneath his tank and aimed it at Pilot 5's head.

* * *

Upon arriving at the Preventer's base (Japanese location kept classified for safety reasons) they were led to their quarters to unload their things. 

Their rooming situation looked like this:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**-Mimiru- -Misaki- -Michiru- -Mitsuki- -Mikura-**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**HALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAYHALLWAY**_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**-Duo-** **-Wufei-** **-Heero-** **-Quatre-** **-Trowa-**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everything was stowed away and the Sugino's were about to be taken on a tour of the base, Lucreizia Noin herself crawled out of the woodwork.

"Hey." She said a small smile on her lips, "All settled?"

"As settled as we're gonna be for now." Mimiru grimaced (popped another Midol seconds ago)

_The guys were just about t' take us on a tour of the base._ Mitsuki typed a smile on her face, relieved to be free of the car.

"Why? What's up?" Misaki asked, looking curiously at the Baronette.

"Because, I know some Doctors who're just dying to meet you." Noin said with a slight shrug in the Pilot's direction upon seeing their reactions, as if to say, _'Hey, don't ask me.'_

"Doctors?" Mikura asked warily, "Th-this won't involve any kind of weird probes will it?"

"No, no, no." Noin said reassuringly, while thinking, _"Not that I know of, anyway."_

"I assure you, the Doctors are perfectly reasonable people." Quatre said, giving Mikura a pat on the shoulder, inwardly chastising himself for telling such a lie and wondering how ashamed his sisters would be if they ever found out.

"Well…okay." Misaki said, looking uneasy as she moved to follow Noin down the hall, "If-if you say so, Q, I guess I'll just hafta trust ya."

Wufei noted how as Misaki spoke, Quatre took on the appearance of someone who had just been stabbed and was slowly having the dagger twisted in the wound.

"_Honestly."_ He thought, shaking his head in disgust, _"That boy really needs to learn to become a proficient liar."_

Duo on the other hand, was still reminiscing on Mimiru's "car" comment, dissolving into snickers every time he replayed it in his mind.

Honestly, with Pilot's 5's current crossdressing streak, the timing was perfect.

It would be forever stored in Duo's memory banks.

"May I ask what's so funny?" Trowa inquired mildly, giving a deep yawn as he shook off the sleepiness.

"Man, I wish you would've stayed awake!" Duo grinned, looking ready to retell the story in great detail, "Mimi-GAGH!"

Wufei, to spare himself any further shame lashed forward and violently yanked on Duo's lengthy braid, forcing his head back.

Noin and Trowa stared at the red-faced Wufei, once again at gun point (thank you Heero) and the whimper Duo, petting "his baby" piteously.

"Perhaps it's a story best saved for later, mm?" Noin said awkwardly.

"It appears that way." Trowa nodded in agreement.

* * *

Finally, they reached their destination: a set of hydraulically-powered, double doors labeled - **RESTRICTED ACCESS**

Whipping out a key card and running it through the scanner, Noin punched in an access code, opening the doors, which they all tramped through.

The hallway between the first set of double doors and the next was about half a block in distance and Mimiru, in her viral state was having difficulty keeping up, which irritated Wufei to a point where he wiped her early statement from his mind and carried her.

This in turn tweaked Duo off (as Mimiru was his responsibility, not Wufei's) and reminded him of the little "gift" Misaki had given him earlier that week which he was going to use in very short order.

Heero, sensing something was amiss, began fingering the hem of his tank top absently, eyeing both Duo and Wufei incase either of them tried anything.

Upon reaching the second set of doors, Noin pressed the buzzer.

"Noin here." She said officiously, "I've brought the Sugino's and Gundam Pilots one through five. Requesting entry."

"Granted." an electronic voice said after a crackle of static.

The door's hydraulic systems whirred into action and the doors slid open to reveal five aging men.

"Ah…welcome. I am Doctor J." the first grinned, black mirrored lenses glinting, "And these are my associates."

"Doctor S." the second smirked, red nose twitching slightly as he gave it a light scratch, "A pleasure to meet you."

"Professor G." the third snickered, **_HIS_** nose taking up the greater part of his face, distracting the onlooker from anything else, "I hope Mr. Maxwell didn't give you **TOO** much trouble."

"Master O." a bald man said briefly, giving them a deep, respectful bow by way of greeting, "I hope perhaps, you've quelled my Wufei's temper some."

"Instructor H." a black haired man with a needle like mustache smiled, "Thank you for looking after my Quatre for me."

* * *

"Uh-huh." Misaki said uneasily, "Riiiiiiiight." 

"Hey, **G!**" Duo said, a wicked grin on his face, "You'll never guess whatsome of this mission's requirements were! These guy'shad t' **_crossdress!_**"

There was a dull thud as Wufei dropped Mimiru to the metal floor.

"Wh-what?" Professor G asked, his visible eye wide in shock, "I beg your pard-!"

"**MY **Wufei would **_NEVER_** do something **SO** **_EFFEMINATE!_**" Master O bellowed.

"This is absolutely ludicrous." Doctor J said, shaking his head, "Inconceivable."

"A lot of things have been said about Mr. Winner, but I assure you, he would never-!" Instructor H sputtered in his Pilot's defense.

"Is there any proof to back up this statement?" Doctor S asked coolly, "I will not allow such wild declarations be made about my Pilot without evidence to-!"

"Oh, but I have proof." Duo sneered, whipping the photographs Misaki had given him out of his shirt front.

"**_GIVE ME THOSE!_**" Wufei shouted, diving for them.

The doctors and Noin, however, had other ideas and knocked him easily aside and into the Sugino quints.

"**Ak!**" Mikura gasped as the air rushed from her lungs.

"**_Oomph!_**" Michiru wheezed, eyes widening into saucers, watering with pain.

"**Yai!**" Misaki squealed as she flew backwards into Mitsuki.

Mitsuki said nothing, but her PDA flew from her hand and skittered across the floor.

"_**Ulk!**_" Mimiru choked as Mitsuki's elbow collided with her diaphragm.

Wufei regained his footing and was going to try again…until all five girls crashed into a rather impressive (and very important) looking machine, whose power had "conveniently" been left on.

The doctors didn't tear their eyes away for those photographs fast enough as the machine went into effect…kinda.

"Wh-what's **happening?**" Quatre cried, grabbing a hold of a nearby computer monitor for support.

"What the hell is that thing **_DOIN'?_**" Duo yelled over the loud electronic warning buzzer.

"**RUN FOR IT!**" Heero bellowed, in a rare moment of composure abandonment, "**It's GONNA _BLOW!_**"

"**What about the _girls?_**" Trowa yelled…a little too late as the room filled with a blinding light and the machine exploded.

* * *

The room shook violently, smoke, electrical fire and shrapnel filled the air, then all was still. 

Wufei was the first to speak.

"Alright O. Start talking." He growled, pissed at the thought that another woman in his care might have died under his watch, "What in the seven **hells** is-**_was_** that thing?"

"Well, if you **must** know, it **_was_** a time machine, until you went and destroyed it." Master O mumbled poutily.

"We were going to use it for our next vacation." Doctor S sighed, not really caring that five dead bodies might be strewn somewhere about the lab.

"We were thinking the Renaissance." Instructor H said, a faraway look in his eyes, "Now that's nothing but a distant dream."

"We are in our golden years after all." Doctor J nodded, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"The girls…" Noin mumbled numbly, unable to believe it, "This-this can't be happening…how am I going to tell Hatake?"

"W-wait!** Look!**" Quatre cried as the smoke cleared and five, wiggling figures came into view.

The Gundam Pilots, Lucreizia Noin and the Mad Doctor's jaws simultaneously dropped.

They couldn't believe what they were seeing.

All five Sugino quints were alive, bu tot say they were well would be kind of a lie.

For you see, all five girls were-

"Toddlers…" Heero muttered staring at the small child as it crawled through the wreckage.

"…What the **_fuck?_**" Duo gaped, mouth ready to capture flies.

"N-no way." Noin said, knees giving out, relieved that her charges were still alive, but horrified and confused as to what had just happened to them.

"This…this is unbelievable." Quatre said, eyes wide as saucers.

"My god…" Trowa murmured, green eyes locked on the crawling toddlers.

"Okay, this is just **_too_ effed up**." Wufei said loudly, "I mean, **WHAT THE _HELL?_**"

The movement from the Sugino quint-koff-Toddlers ceased, and all eyes locked on Wufei, faces crumbling.

_"Uh-oh."_ Duo thought, thinking back to his days in the Maxwell Church, _"I know that look."_

"Hey, wh-what's your problem?" Wufei asked nervously, eyeing the now whimpering, red faced, children.

Big, baby eyes filling with tears, all five toddlers began to cry.

* * *

(A/N: TODDLERS! You heard right! Barely able to speak, walk, or eat solid foods! And potty trained? HA! In your DREAMS! But fear not. The G-Boy's will get assistance. Who? R&R to find out!)


	13. Mission Brief: Babies On Parade

(A/N: Weeeeee! So many positive responses! I'm glad you liked it! Now, on with the fic!)

* * *

As it turned out, Misaki wasn't the only one of the quintuplets with powerful vocal cords…and the fact that the lab was made entirely of metal wasn't helping any.

Their junior sized clothing heaped around them in messy piles and did little to no good covering them as they wailed up and down the register causing all else present to clamp their hands down over their ears.

"_Geeeeezus can they ever cry!"_ Duo thought to himself, his eardrums pounding at the piercing, mournful chorus.

Noin, unable to stand the sound, activated the communicator located on her lapel, sending an all points bulletin through the P.A. system.

"Relena Peacecraft!" Noin cried into the tiny device her voice echoing loudly throughout the entirety of the base, "Iria Winner! Sally Po! Hilde Schbeiker! Catherine Bloom! Report to the labs **_IMMEDIATELY!_** We have a situation!"

"Relena?" Heero asked over the Sugino's sobbing, "She's on base? May I be so bold to inquire why?"

"To visit her brother of course." Doctor J smirked, shaking his head at his pupil's thickheadedness, "What else?"

"Wh-what on earth is Iria doing here?" Quatre asked, eyes wide in surprise, hands clamped over his ears to block out the Sugino's hysterical crying.

"To see you." Instructor H sighed, "I thought that would have been obvious, what with her being your elder sister and all."

Duo, having some previous experience with small children was doing his best to calm down Mimiru and Mitsuki, but with little to no success.

Trowa, though having no prior knowledge, was having a little success with Michiru…until she got a glimpse of Wufei over his shoulder and promptly began bawling like a banshee again.

Wufei, the cause of the whole mess, simply stood frozen in place, mouth opening and closing like a fish, looking somewhat like a child who was unsure as to what exactly they had done wrong.

The doors to lab slid open and five stunned women made their way in, taking in the sight of the debris and chaos around them.

* * *

"What…on earth…happened here?" Sally asked, bewildered, nearly deafened by the screaming babies. 

"**_Ooo!_ They're _soooooooo_ KYOOT!**" Relena, Catherine and Hilde squealed, nimbly darting around the debris somehow to reach Trowa and Duo to scoop the sobbing toddlers out of their arms.

"Awww, what's wrong sweetie?" Iria asked, scooping Mitsuki off the floor, bouncing her in a light reassuring manner.

"M-m-mouf…huh-huh-**_huuuuts!_**" Mitsuki sobbed, wiping the backs of her eyes with her tiny fists.

"_I'm so glad you're here._" Quatre whispered as Iria began rubbing Mitsuki's back.

"What's wrong darlin'?" Sally asked of Misaki, wiping her tears away.

"Hungee." Misaki whimpered, burying her face into Sally's neck.

Wufei, still in shock, had nothing to offer to the conversation.

"There, there now." Relena said gently, "You want to tell me what's making you so sad?"

"Thuhsee." Michiru hiccupped, a few stray tears falling down her chubby cheeks.

Heero merely nodded and he and Relena began walking towards the exit to take his kinda/kinda-not-girlfriend to the Mess Hall kitchens.

"There, there now, no more tears. **_Biiiiiiiig _**smiles!" Catherine cooed, managing to win a rather watery smile from Mikura, "Now, what's wrong honey?"

"Wan' teh-ee." Mikura sniffled.

Trowa thought to himself, _"She has a teddy bear?"_

"You wanna tell Aunty Hilde what's the matter?" the blue haired teen cooed, rocking Mimiru gently, who was still sobbing hysterically.

"I think she's just tired." Sally offered, "Duo, try putting her down for a nap."

"Huh?" Duo blinked, pointing to himself, "Me?"

"Yes, you." Noin said, murder written all over her face, "Your mission, your responsibility. And that goes for **_all_** of you!"

Heero, almost at the exit, stopped short.

Wufei snapped out of his coma.

Quatre's eyes widened.

Trowa blinked, asking with his eyes if Noin was joking.

Duo just stared blankly.

"You better pay attention to what your lady friends are doing because after today? You're on your own." Noin snarled whirling to face the Doctors.

"Alright, how long until you can fix whatever it is you've done to them?" she growled.

"Well, the first time machine took us three years to build so-" Master O was interrupted by an infuriated Noin.

"You have a week." Noin snarled, "Or the five of you better learn to enjoy living out the rest of your lives-As-EUNICHS!"

All five Sugino Quints started bawling again.

* * *

Trowa and Catherine entered Mikura's bedroom and no "teh-ee" was in sight. 

"Huh…" Catherine murmured, observing the bokuto, kendo magazines and tampon boxes with interest (after all the Mikura she knows can't be older than 1 ½) "Check around…see if you can find it."

With a silent nodded he began slowly taking the room apart, until finally, overturning the mattress revealed a dog-earred, overly loved teddy bear with patches of fur missing where it had been loved off.

"**_Ah_-ah-_ah!_**" Mikura squealed, waving her arms frantically, stretching so far forward in her attempt to retrieve her beloved bear that poor Catherine almost dropped her.

"Here you are." Trowa said, mildly amused as Mikura snatched it from him and began rubbing her nose into the fur and sucking her thumb, eyes falling to half mast.

"There." Catherine said, looking relieved as she allowed Trowa to take back his charge, "And joy was had by all."

Trowa smirked as he followed his caretaker out of the room to the Mess Hall, where all five pilots had agreed to meet later.

"So, how've you been holding up?" Catherine asked, lavender eyes sparkling, "How're the Sugino's? Please tell me they're nice."

"They're…okay." Trowa said slowly, memory automatically recollecting the first day: absolute mayhem.

"**_Ooo!_** I swear, I'll **whoop'm** if I find out they've been too hard on you." Catherime said, palming her fist.

"…it's been…interesting…to say the least." Trowa murmured, eyeing the half-awake toddler in his arms.

"Well, if you say so." Catherine shrugged, "So, when do I get to meet them?"

"…they'll arrive within a week or so." Trowa supplied quickly, remembering Noin's incensed words.

"A week huh…how unusual." Catherine mumbled as Trowa plowed ahead.

* * *

"There, there." Quatre said comfortingly, giving Iria a break and rubbing his charge's back as she whimpered piteously. 

"Poor dear." Iria said sympathetically, stroking her hair, "Don't you worry, honey. Sally's working on it as we speak."

Sally had already diagnosed Mitsuki: teething,but was far cry from giving her anything until the Page she had sent out returned to the base with diapers, clothing and the like..

You see, until now, all five girls have been meandering about in their shirts, worn upside down and tied creatively, and nothing else (hey, their toddlers now…who's gonna care?)

"This. Is so. **Humiliating.**" Wufei growled, holding another apple slice out for Misaki, "I can**_not_** believe that **this** is what I've been reduced to."

Misaki merely gave Wufei a gap toothed grin with her mouth full of half-chewed apple, happy as could be now that she was getting food.

Wufei cringed and let his face fall into his hand.

"Ugh…why me, Ancestors? Why?" he moaned.

"Wufei…" Sally said, in a tone that warned Pilot 5 that she wouldn't tolerate his aloof behavior anymore.

Wufei made a face at her and handed Misaki another apple slice.

"This looks like it's going to get ugly." Quatre said worriedly, continuing to rub Mitsuki's back.

"No kidding." Iria nodded, quirking an eyebrow at the generally calm woman she had come to know as a friend.

The door to Sally's office opened and the Page carted in a dolly filled with diapers, sippy cups, cushioned spoons and age appropriate foods and clothing, cutting short any tongue lashing that would have occurred.

"Thank god." Sally breathed, snatching up a package of diapers and giving them to Iria, along with a vial, "Rub this on her gums."

Quatre stared at the vial.

"High potency laxative?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

"Whoops, wrong bottle." Sally said hastily, snatching the vial back and switching it out with a small flask of rum.

* * *

"So, the girls are doing well?" Relena asked, carefully balancing Michiru on her lap as the small child tentatively to a stab at drinking grape juice from a regular cup without spilling it all down her front. 

"Hn." Heero nodded, not willing to divulge too much given the current situation, "Perfectly fine."

"I see. That's good." Relena said, looking relieved, "I haven't seen them in so long because of work and all, so I worry you know."

"Mm." Heero nodded, knowing that now was not the time to talk, but the time to let his kinda/but-kinda-not-girlfriend vent (neither will admit to anything)

"I worry about you too Heero." Relena continued, "And Quatre, and Wufei…Duo and Trowa, too. Your line of work is so dangerous and-**_GAH!_**"

Michiru had decided at that exact moment to lose her grip on the lidless cup she held, spilling chilly liquid all over Relena's lap.

"Oh** no!**" Relena cried, looking at the dark purply juice stain spreading across her predictably white skirt, "This will **_never_** come out!"

Heero himself, couldn't help thinking, _"Nice shot."_

"Heero, could you clean her up while I go change?" Relena asked, looking slightly disgusted as she hurried from the Mess Hall.

Watching Relena go, Heero looked down at the messy, juice covered Michiru, who gave him a gapped toothed smile.

He searched the room with his eyes and spotted a sink, which he briskly walked to and plopped Michiru in, turning on the HOT and COLD faucets.

The toddler squealed with delight and began playing with the water as it exited the spigots, making Heero smirk a little as the dark purple stains flooded down the drain.

* * *

Duo sighed loudly as Mimiru sobs refused to be quelled. 

He didn't know what he was doing wrong: he'd danced her around the room, laid down next to her on the bed, patting her back...nothing was working.

Now he was sitting in an easy chair, Mimiru sprawled against his stomach, bawling hysterically as Hilde scoured the room for something that might quell the toddler's cries.

"**AH!** **_Duo!_**" Hilde cried, whipping around, a ratty looking baby blanket clutched triumphantly in her fist (really…it was sad looking; one of the corners was completely unraveling)

She hurried across the room and spread it across him and the sobbing toddler.

"I'll be right back." Hilde said hurriedly, "I'll see if those supplies Sally ordered for are here yet."

She darted from the room, leaving Duo to deal with the still sobbing Mimiru.

_"Great…some help you are."_ Duo thought wryly, shifting the child in his arms so that the blanket wrapped around her.

To his surprise, her sobbing subsided a little when she realized she was wrapped in her blanket, and he took this opportunity to jiggle her slightly, humming to himself, praying to his god that it would stop her ear-splitting high pitched cries.

"It arrived." Hilde hissed fiercely as she re-entered the room, an outfit in one hand, a pacifier in the other, "**Here!** This should help!"

Duo took it from her gratefully and offered it to Mimiru, who took it greedily and automatically stopped crying.

"Oh thank GOD." Duo breathed as Mimiru's eyes slid shut in sleep, "Seriously Hilde, if that sound continued one more minute, I would've strangled her."

"You would not." Hillde said teasingly, punching Duo lightly in the arm.

Duo regarded the blue haired girl seriously.

"You wanna bet?"

* * *

"_**Hey!**_ **TROWA!**" Sally yelled, pausing Pilot three midstep and drawing him into the Medical Ward, "Perfect timing! Here." 

She thrust a bundle of baby clothes into his hand.

"For Mikura and Michiru." Sakky explained, noting the look he gave her at the second outfit, "Could you drop it off with Heero in the Mess Hall?"

"No prob!" Catherine smiled, "We were on our way there anyway."

"Its no problem." Trowa murmured, inwardly wishing that his caretaker wouldn't presume to speak for him nine times out of ten.

He was about to turn and continue on his way, but decided to pause a minute and watch Wufei struggle to get Misaki into a diaper and pair of footy pajamas (hey, safest bet out there)

"Hold…still-**GET _BACK _HERE!**" Wufei snarled as Misaki keeled joyful and crawled, totally nude, away from him, looking as though nothing made her happier than being nakey.

"_**Pffft!**_ Aw, c'mon Chang." Sally snickered as the struggle continued, "You've gotta admit it's cute."

"**I will do _no_ such thing!**" Wufei growled viciously, finally catching a hold of Misaki around the middle, "**How could _ANYONE_ in their _right mind_ find ANYTHING this _annoying _CUTE?**"

Misaki giggled like the infant she was and kicked Wufei in the nose.

Wufei looked as though strangling the toddler in his hands was not just a sick, Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy induced fantasy.

* * *

Quatre smiled as a much happier Mitsuki crawled around his bedroom floor. 

"Quatre, Instructor H showed me some rather interesting photographs of you." Iria said offhandedly.

"W-what?" he squeaked, already making mental notes to **KILL** the man.

"Yes…that he did." Iria murmured, a slow smile appearing on her face, "And I must say…you make a very pretty girl."

"**_IRIA!_**" Quatre squealed, face coloring as his sister began to laugh.

"Oh calm down." Iria chuckled, "I won't tell the others (othersother 28 sisters) if it bothers you so much."

"And it does." Quatre said quickly, face burning as Iria continued to giggle.

"It's really not that bad." Iria said nonchalantly, "I mean compared to what I have on Sadira? This is nothing."

"What do you have on Sadira?" Quatre asked, now very interested.

"Well, when she was little, she walked in on dad in the bathroom." Iria started, that alone was enough to make Quatre snicker, "And fascinated, she decided to try peeing while standing!"

"**Y-you're _KIDDING!_**" Quatre howled, tears streaming down his face as he laughed.

"Oh it gets better." Iria chuckled, "Cuz dad caught her and then had to explain to her that **_that _**was a boys only thing that they did with their wee wee."

Quatre was too far gone to say anything, just motioned for his sister to continue.

"So Sadira started crying, saying she wanted a wee wee so she could go potty standing up too." Iria finished, going over the edge too and joining her brother in hysterics.

There was a tug on Quatre's pant leg, pulling him from his laughing fit.

It was Mitsuki, arms outstretched.

"Up?" she asked, blinking up at the snickering teen.

"Of course." Quare said, wiping away the tears from his eyes, "Come, sister. Let's join the others in the Mess Hall."

"Lets." Iria grinned.

* * *

(A/N: The boys fly solo. How will they handle it? Will they crack under the pressure? R&R!)


	14. Mission Brief: Day One: Early Risers

(A?N: Heya! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I was ready to give up for a while, but inspired me to keep it going! So now, on with the fic!)

* * *

Heero's Prussian blue eyes opened blearily, taking in the familiar surroundings of his room on the Preventers Base.

He became aware of a foreign weight pressing against his chest and was wide awake in seconds, hand wrapping around his Haskell .45 Auto Pistol located on his nightstand.

Heero prepared to empty the clip…but took a pause when he saw it was just Michiru, sprawled in sleep across his front in a pair of blue footy pajamas, sucking her thumb.

He lowered the gun away from her head, setting it back down on the bedside table, then slid the Miniaturized Michiru off his midsection, while being careful not to wake her.

As Heero quickly changed into his trademark green tank (his spandex shorts having been worn to bed), he remembered Noin's words the previous evening; today, Heero would have no help from Relena whatsoever when dealing with Michiru (not that she had helped much to begin with)

Meaning that he would have to recall everything the Vice Foreign Minister had told him about changing diapers, feeding, and such.

Things like quieting Michiru's cries had been easy enough to learn; he, or anyone else for that matter (koff-Quatre-koff), merely had to pick her up and she would stop crying within seconds.

Keeping her entertained was another easy matter; he simply had to sit the child down on his foot and bounce her a little and she she'd be giggling like mad.

Heero discovered this little trick on accident.

He had in fact, been trying to shoo her off so he could walk around the Mess Hall freely.

Heero was almost positive Trowa Barton would never look at him the same way again after that little incident.

The look on his face spoke volumes even if the teen himself had not.

Heero was just thankful it had been Trowa and not that hyperactive chatterbox Duo Maxwell; if Maxwell had been the one to see him try and liberate his leg of the Miniaturized Michiru, he would have had to go into hiding as killing Pilot 2 was out of the question (thank you very little Dr. J)

With a quick stretch of the shoulders, Heero set off to the Mess Hall for an early breakfast.

* * *

Quatre rubbed his aquamarine eyes groggily and did all he could to restrain the yawn welling up in his throat and chest.

He was slightly surprised to find, when the drowsy haze cleared, himself staring at the bad rather than lying it and tried his best in his sleep clogged state to recall the events of the night before.

He recalled meeting up with the rest of the Pilots in the Mess Hall with Iria and Miniscule Mitsuki, they had conversed for an hour or so before retiring to their rooms.

Quatre had managed to get Mitsuki to sleep without much fuss and then had gone to bed himself after a quick goodnight to his sister…only to be loudly awakened, what seemed to be only minutes later (it was actually two hours later) by a bawling Mitsuki.

He remembered, quite clearly, falling out of bed, whacking his head on the pointy corner of the nightstand and wondering why he suddenly had three closets.

"_That's right."_ Quatre thought to himself, looking down to view the still sleeping child slumped in his lap, _"She woke up with teething pains and I rubbed more rum on her gums and…I must have fallen asleep trying to calm her down."_

Quatre carefully rose from the chair, extracted one hand to pull back the covers of his oh, so inviting bed…and laid Mitsuki beneath them.

"_As pleasant as that sounds…"_ Quatre thought, sighing a little as he pulled the blankets up over her, _"I need to get moving."_

Running his fingers through histhe bed head that was desperately in need of brushing, he let loose the long restrained yawn outside his room as he shut the door.

"I'm on my own today." Quatre murmured thoughtfully to the ceiling as he walked along, "I'm, as Duo would so eloquently put it, the baby of the family. I've never cared for a child in my life."

The ceiling though, seemed to be in no mood to talk to the heir of the Winner Foundation that morning and remained completely silent, offering no helpful advice whatsoever (what a creep; see if I invite **YOU** to my next Christmas party)

* * *

Duo walked hurriedly down the hall, a scorching hot bundle in his bare arms, burning his chest.

"Damn, damn, damn, damn, **_damn._**" he grumbled under his breath, "Why **OH _WH_Y** did I think that her becoming a baby would make her **ANY** less sick? Can somebody say, 'brain fart'?"

Duo had awakened that morning feeling thoroughly refreshed and found, to his great relief, that Mimiru was still sleeping soundly…

…however, it only took him a moment to notice how unnaturally still she was.

He had paused only to tug on a pair of black jeans before checking on her anddiscovered how pallid she had become.

A quick palm to the forehead was all that was needed to tell Duo that "Mini Mimi", as he had dubbed her,was spiking a very high fever due to negligence on his part.

Even now, Mimiru slept her unnaturally deep slumber as her now tiny body tried to fight off the infection itself as Duo, who had the most experience with children, inwardly swore like a sailor and wondered how he could have forgotten something so crucial.

"Sally, **_please_** tell me you had that Page buy baby meds." Duo said as he burst into the Infirmary, making Sally glance up from the tetanus inoculation she was administering.

"Now why would **_I_** do something like that?" Sally asked, watching with a twinge of sadistic pleasure as Duo's face drained of color, "I kid, I kid. Third shelf."

Sticking his tongue out at Sally, Duo stalked forward and retrieved the necessary bottle of grape Triaminic while Mini Mimi continued to snooze away, sucking on her pacifier.

"By the way, Maxwell, you may want to check out the second drawer to the left while you're at it." Sally said as she finished doling out the shot, "You're all set Paynter."

"Thank you ma'am." The man known as Paynter said, leaving the Infirmary as Duo opened the indicated drawer.

"A syringe?" he asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Hey, by th' looks of it, she's pretty comfortable right where she is." Sally said, "This way, you won't have to deal with trying to convince a cranky toddler that the meds tastes good." (we all know they don't! yet we were all spoonfed**_ that_** little lie by our 'rents as kids!**MEH!** how annoying!)

"**_Proooooooooobably_** a good idea." Duo said with a devil-may-care grin, taking a seat in a nearby chair, "Well you're th' doc. How do I do this without, y'know, drownin' her?"

"Aim for the inside of her cheek." Sally said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world (which it's **_NOT_**), "**SHE** will take care of the rest herself."

* * *

Trowa watched Duo run down the hall, wondering what his hurry was.

Mikura rode piggyback, not quite awake yet, clutching her teddy by one arm.

"Good morning Quatre." Trowa said calmly, shifting Mikura slightly as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, determined to go back to sleep, no matter what Pilot 3's sleep schedule was.

"G…g…g'm…**_aawwwww_**nin' Twowa." Quatre yawned, apparently on the same wavelength as Mikura right now.

Trowa watched for a moment as Quatre continued on his way to the showers and then turned to make his way to the Mess Hall.

"Good morning Heero." Trowa said mildly, entering the Mess Hall to find Pilot 1 gorging himself with pig parts (he's eating bacon and sausage)

"Hn." Heero grunted through a mouthful of food, motioning for Trowa to take a seat with his free hand as the other was busy stuffing more food in his mouth.

"Thank you." Trowa murmured, sitting down beside the boy who could hack into the most sophisticated of computer systems but couldn't for the life of him tame his hair.

"_Heero must be unsure of when he'll eat his next meal because of this whole…incident."_ Trowa thought to himself, _"He's planning ahead…not a bad idea."_

The Miniaturized Mikura, arms not even close to making around the belly of her bear, drooped forward in Trowa's lap, finally dozing off in a bowl of oatmeal Heero had half finished and abandoned after remembering to the degree at which he despised the substance.

Rescuing his charge from drowning in the gloppy gunk, Trowa laid her down on an empty table on top of the bear (the toy's bigger than her so it works out) before going to serve himself.

Trowa piled on the bacon and sausage as Heero had done, poured himself a small bowl of oatmeal, mixing it with apples, cinnamon and raisins to disguise it, and inwardly cringed as he bypassed the scrambled eggs (he's not an egg person and neither am I…Duo is tho', but I forgive'm cuz he's cute)

Tray filled to capacity, he turned to return to the table.

* * *

Wufei awoke to find a little foot buried in his cheek, Micro Misaki appearing to have kicked him in her sleep.

Cursing in three different languages, Wufei threw his clothes on and was about to storm from the room, when…

"**_UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGH!_**"

Wufei's skull nearly split open as it said "Hello" to the ceiling, the Chinese teen's martial art's reflexes working against him and sending him careening into the metal surface.

Misaki had awoken with a jolt at the sound of Wufei's loud cursing (light sleeper) and in her terror, began to bawl…sending Wufei spiraling into a dimension of pissed off that one wouldn't think was physically possible.

_"If I don't start meditating now…I'LL KILL HER!"_ Wufei fumed, holding his head, which pounded dully between his hands.

He regulated his breathing and centered his mind, blocking out the horrible sound being emitted by the tiny girl.

_"Almost."_ Wufei thought, pain fading, sound evaporating, _"All_..._most…"_

"**HEY!** **_CHANG!_**"

Wufei was hurled back into the land of pain and loudness faster than a bullet leaving a gun.

Duo Maxwell, of course, stood in his doorway, a rather ill looking Mimiru slumped against his shoulder in slumber, sucking a pacifier.

"**What **do ya think yer **_doin'?_**" Duo asked, disbelief in his voice as he stared down at Pilot 5, "Don't **tell me** you were just gonna **_leave her _**like that!"

"**No**…" Wufei growled ferally, "I was **_trying_**…to build up the **patience**…to **_deal _**with her…**SO I WOULDN'T _KILL HER_ YOU _BÙYÀOLIĂN HÙNZHÀNG!_** (1)** HOW _STUPID_ ARE YOU?**"

Mimiru's eyes snapped open and the pacifier fell from her mouth as she let loose a mournful, terrified wail, harmonizing with Misaki.

"**_Waaaaaaaaaaay_** t' go, Wufei." Duo said, rolling his eyes as he began to jiggle Mimiru lightly in his arms, "She wasn't gonna be wakin' up any time soon either but **noooooooooooooooooooo**. So goes **_THAT_** dream."

Wufei let loose another growl and stormed over to his bed, snatching Micro Misaki off of it and miraculously, the simple act of picking her up was enough to pacify her.

Duo stooped down, wiped off the pacifier and stuffed it back into Mini Mimiru's mouth, silencing her cries and sending her back to dreamland in seconds.

"Well…that was…easy enough." Wufei said, surprise leaking into his normally even tone as Misaki buried her face in his neck, sucking her thumb.

Duo just shook his head and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Socket wrench if you would, J." Instructor H said absently, extending his hand to accept the tool Doctor J handed him.

"My, this is going much faster than expected." Professor G stated composedly, as he worked a screwdriver, "Noin certainly knows how to choose her threats."

"She certainly does." Doctor S muttered grimly, involuntarily shuddering, "Soldering gun if you will, O."

Master O practically shoved the thing through S's head so determined was he to keep his symbol of manhood.

"No need to be so hasty, O." Doctor J chided, "Wouldn't want to die before finishing now would we."

"Speak for yourself, J." Master O snapped, "I would rather die completely intact than die any less of a man than I am now. Drill, H."

"You're not alone, O." Instructor H said smirkingly, "And what's the magic word, O?"

"Please, now **_give_** me the **damn **drill." Master O snarled, taking the electrically powered tool from H's hand as the black haired man snickered.

"If you two are quite finished." Professor G coughed, looking a little impatient, "I hope you realize you two are merely wasting us precious minutes."

Slightly panicked looks filled the men's faces and they redoubled their efforts on the time machine.

"_Please let us reach the deadline."_ Doctor J silently begged, sparks flying as he welded at a furious pace.

"_If I'm made a Eunich, I think I shall have to kill myself."_ Doctor S thought as he frantically used a rivet gun on a sheet Gundanium.

"_We stake our MANHOOD, if somewhat unwillingly, ON IT!"_ All five unwittingly thought as one, _"We WILL make that deadline!"_

_

* * *

_

(AN) The early morning hours pass into late morning and noon and the Sugino Quints are wide awake and ready for mischief (well...the four that are up for it are) Fun with Toothpaste, Lunch time, and much, much more. R&R!)

* * *

(1) BÙYÀOLIĂN HÙNZHÀNG! - Shameless Son of a Bitch 


	15. Mission Brief: Surprising Developments

(A/N: Revieeeeeeeewers are great! Revieeeeeeeeeewers are great! Greatgreatgreagreatgreat! Okay! Done now! Hope you enjoy this next chappie!)

* * *

Duo shook his head in disbelief. 

Even though his charge was sick, he was beginning to feel…well…there was no other word for it.

Lucky.

Mini Mimi was still slumped against Duo's shoulder, no worse for wear after the Chang Incident, fast asleep and sucking her pacifier.

It was this very pacifier that had caused a slight commotion over breakfast.

Wufei, a little irritable at Duo since The Misaki Mishap, finished his meal, glanced over the table at Duo and Mimiru, and looked more than a little disgusted.

Duo had arranged his charge so that eating was possible and Wufei's eyes were locked, not on Pilot 2, but on the tiny child, sleeping away, on his lap.

"You realize…" Wufei said in a cutting tone as he rose to his feet, gathering his half-finished food on his tray, "…that if she keeps that up, she'll end up more buck toothed than a beaver."

Duo lost his grip on his spoon and nearly choked on the mouthful of scrambled egg he was eating.

Wufei observed the look on Duo's face with carefully before making his way to the waste bins…

…only to have Trowa "accidentally" trip the descendant of the Dragon Clan made his way to the garbage, causing food to splatter all down the front of his clean, predictably white clothes.

It was surprising behavior from the abnormally calm teen, but it was nothing compared to what came next from Quatre.

The aquamarine eyed Arab, making his way back to the table after filling his own tray with food, "accidentally/on purpose" dropped the entire thing on Wufei's head.

Not a sound was heard, save for Wufei's sputters of absolute shock.

"_I was only expressing my concern for her dental future!"_ Wufei thought indignantly,_ "Was that so wrong?" _(next time phrase it a **_liiiiii_**ttle less harshly, sweetie)

If you blinked, you would have missed the wink Quatre tossed Duo's way and the infinitesimal smirk that flitted across Trowa's lips as he slid over to make room for the blond boy.

Heero re-entered the Mess Hall (he'd left to retrieve Michiru), observed the scene before his eyes, looked at the small child holding his hand and turned around to exit again.

"_The odds of her running through that slop are about three million to seven."_ Heero calculated in his head as he lifted his charge off the floor and hurried down the hall, _"I'll feed her in my room."

* * *

_

Duo could hear the thundering footfalls of his colleagues as they searched frantically for the remaining four Sugino girls.

Yes, they had finally awoken, hours before…with a vengeance; hungry, ready for breakfast and to stir up trouble.

Breakfast for Mikura, Misaki, Michiru and Mitsuki was nothing short of all out war with applesauce and grape halves (yes, Quatre **_is_** patient enough to slice that many grapes in half) used as projectile weapons.

Applesauce, grapes, whatever else was within arms reach, were hurled against walls, each other, the Pilots, amid squeals of pure delight.

More food was splattering against the walls and sailing through the air than finding its way to their mouths.

Heero had wound up having a cushioned spoon full of half-chewed apple go down the back of his spandex shorts.

The sound emitted from his mouth was quite beautiful.

Trowa's finely styled and gelled hair was now plastered back against his skull with about three tons of Motts brand applesauce, leaving both of his bottle greeneyes exposed to the world.

Wufei, who had wisely decided to forgo changing his clothes and showering before feeding Misaki (he learned better than that yesterday) looked no worse for wear (hey, he's suffered enough)

Quatre frantic dashed around the Mess Hall, trying to clean up the messes behind the girls as they created them and was always nine or ten steps behind them (poor boy)

Duo had watched all this from what he thought was a safe distance, but apparently hadn't been safe enough as now, hours later, he was still trying to scrape was appeared to be day old oatmeal from his braid.

* * *

Pilots 1, 3-5 then decided since they were having no luck quelling this mindless food free for all, that perhaps it might be best to leave the quints to their own devices to feed themselves…there's some good news. 

"Geeeee-hee hee!" Michiru squealed, slapping her hands in a mixture of grape juice, crackers and some substance that had yet to be identified.

Misaki was smearing what appeared to be globs of strawberry jam mixed with bacon bits on her cheeks, looking very pleased with herself as she did so.

"Ucky! Ucky!" Mikura sang joyfully, squishing the disgusting concoction between her toes and kicking her heels happily in a good sized puddle of what once had been tea (it can no longer legally be classified as that)

Mitsuki was doodling very sloppily on the walls with a bottle of ketchup left out for use on hash browns and sausage (it's a little too…toxic for that now)

"This is a **nightmare!**" Quatre cried, taking in the pandemonium that had once been the Mess Hall (it is now **_very_** aptly named)

Heero, who everyone deep down inside knows is just a **_liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_**ttle bit OCD, gave a little twitch and lifted Michiru up and set her down in a corner, no longer able to stand the chaos they were creating.

Without a word, he went for the cabinet that held the cleaning supplies, understanding passing through each pilot as he pulled out the Pine Sol.

"I must agree with Yuy." Wufei muttered, taking in the bedlam that had once been the cafeteria, "If we don't start now, It's will come back to bite us in the a-!"

Trowa clamped a hand over the Chinese teen's mouth.

"Language, please." Quatre filled in for his relatively quiet friend, accepting the mop Heero placed in his hands.

"Especially with the children present." Trowa added, lifting both Mikura and Mitsuki out of their seats and setting them next to Michiru, before grabbing Misaki who was trying to crawl up his leg and setting her with her siblings.

Duo moved to help clean, but Mimiru began to whine the moment he moved to set her down and grabbed a hold, of all things, "his baby" better known as the three or more feet of braid attached to his head.

"Guess helping isn't an option for me." He said sheepishly, lifting the comatoasty's hand, still in the death grip on his hair.

"I'm willing to make that sacrifice." Heero said mildly, holding up a kitchen knife.

Duo plastered himself against an oatmeal coated wall, inwardly squealing like a school girl in disgust.

"I-its not just that!" Duo said argumentatively, "She starts crying every time I **TRY** to put her dow-hey, where'd the girls get to?"

"Duo, don't try to worm your way out of this one, please?" Quatre sighed, massaging his forehead.

"He's not." Trowa murmured, his voice laced with concern.

They couldn't of looked away for more than five seconds, but all four healthy quintuplets had vanished from the Mess Hall.

* * *

Now, at least three hours later, the four Gundam pilots were still scouring the base top to bottom in search of the girls with little to no success. 

Duo, listened to their frenzied footfalls in the lounge, sighing through the Pocky clenched in his teeth.

He couldn't say he envied them; that would be a bold faced lie.

And while he may run, and he may hide, Shinigami never tells a lie.

"**_HA!_** So **THAT'S** where you were! Bothersome child!"

"Sounds like Wufei found Micro Misa." Duo smirked, chewing on the end of the chocolate coated cookie.

"So **_there_** you are! I was so worried!"

_"And Quatre tracked down Mitsuki."_ Duo thought, _"Funny….I thought it wouldn't be too hard for an empath like him to pinpoint a bundle of energy like that. Ho well."_

One by one, he heard declarative sounds announcing that each Pilot's respective quint had been located.

The door to the lounge opened, the familiar sound of the hydraulics announcing the arrival of a tacky Trowa, gluey Quatre, sticky Wufei, and a hopping mad, very gummy Heero.

"Well? Where were they?" Duo asked, noticing the glares he received since he had had the opportunity to shower already. He hadn't taken it (just to show what a nice guy he was)

"I think the more appropriate question is, where **_WEREN'T_** they." Quatre sighed, "They left their mark everywhere!"

"The library, the weight room, the hangar…" Trowa ticked off, trying to ignore the fact that the applesauce mixture in his hair was hardening.

"…the lab, the infirmary, the showers…" Wufei continued, before glowering down at his charge, "Although, they missed the shower portion of the program all together."

"The list goes on and on." Heero said blandly, "And now, before this swill becomes anymore encrusted, I suggest we all head to the baths."

"Sounds like a plan." Duo grinned, "Do you know how tempting the thought was to just go to the baths without ya? I mean, sure, there **WAS **the whole threat of death you and Wufei tossed out if I did, but still, when **_don't_** you two threaten me?"

* * *

"Doctor S! Instructor H!" Professor G cried, "You must come see this! It's really quite astounding!" 

"What is it G?" Doctor J asked, robotic hand tinging as it opened and closed, "What on earth could be more important than our manhood?"

"Well, actually, it has everything to do with our manhood." Professor G scowled over his shoulder as Master O joined him.

"Really? How so?" Doctor S asked, looking mildly surprised as he observed the somewhat scorched computer screen.

"Well, those boys of ours left most of the quintuplets articles of clothing behind," Professor G began, only to be interrupted by Master O.

"How careless." He growled, looking perturbed, "Wufei is going to get a severe talking to for making such a grievous mistake!"

"As I was saying." Professor G growled, growing impatient, "I managed to obtain trace D.N.A. samples from all five girls."

"And that has to do with saving our manhood how?" Instructor H asked impatiently, wanting to get back to work before Noin poked her nose in again.

"Everything!" Professor G snapped, "According to my data, the age-reversal effects of time machine explosion are not in the least bit permanent!"

"Really?" Doctor S asked, looking rather relieved, "Is that true?"

"For the last time, **YES!**" Professor G said exasperatedly, massaging his temples in an effort to express his frustration.

"How long until the effects wear off?" Master O asked, looking expectantly at Professor G, who glanced up from his hands to regard all four men for a moment, before sighing and turning back to the screen.

"Well, if these calculations are correct…"Professor G said, sound mildly surprised, "The Sugino Quints should return to their normal states in approximately five minutes and counting!"

The mad doctors exchange gleeful looks which promptly were exchange for looks of horror.

"Ummm…say…does anyone happen to know where the boys are right now?" Instructor H asked.

* * *

"There now. Doesn't that feel better?" Quatre asked his charge cheerfully as he washed the bits of half eaten Cheerios and marmalade from her hair. 

Mitsuki let loose a happy squeal in response, kicking her feet happily and sending up a fine spray of water into the air.

Wufei, having already washed Misaki with a speed only the truly irate possess, was now grumbling under his breath, hair untied and frothing from shampoo as he picked bit of foreign substances from it as Misaki played with the water, held safely in place by Wufei's calves.

Trowa was hunched over, brows knit together in concentration as he worked a stubborn section of Mikura's scalp that simply refused to come clean as it was matted with strawberry jam, marmalade, applesauce, and syrup (all of which had been allowed to set for several hours)

Heero had just finished bathing Michiru and was allowing her to play with Misaki and Mitsuki as long as she stayed within eyeshot; current, he had a really mess to deal with when it came to his hair as it was in an even sadder state than usual thanks to a heapin' helpin' of syrup and applesauce.

Duo had his braid completely unraveled (it was necessary to get at all the gunk) and was sitting with a half-asleep Mimiru slumped against his chest as he washed his hair with one hand (not the easiest thing in the world)

"Mimi? Can Uncle Duo putcha down now?" he asked, moving to set the toddler down next to him.

"**_NNN_MMM_NO!_**" Mimiru screeched crankily, grabbing a hold of his hair again.

"Sugino Mimiru." Wufei said, in a dangerous tone as he was already at the end of his rope, "Knock. It. **Off.**"

Mimiru's tiny hand released Duo's hair and she slid into the water wordlessly, looking as though she was preparing to bawl like a banshee again.

_"Oh great."_ Was the group wide thought, _"Here we go again."

* * *

_

Instead, the jaws of all five girls fell open and hung slack,eyes glazing over giving no warning whatsoever as they all slipped underwater.

"**WHAT THE _HELL?_**" Duo cried, sitting bolt upright, "Mimi? Where'dya go?"

"Mitsuki?" Quatre cried, eyes frantically searching the bath.

"Mikura?" Trowa said, scanning every last inch of the surface.

"Michiru?" Heero muttered, eyes disclosing worry as he moved to the spot where she went under.

"Mi-Misaki?" Wufei mumbled in disbelief, unable to comprehend that his charge had suddenly disappeared like that.

But what he and none of the other pilots were able to see was the tumult happening below the water's seemingly calm surface.

Without any kind of warning, five heads broke the surface, sputtering, and gasping.

However…these heads did NOT belong to toddlers in any way, shape or form.

Nor were they attached to toddler bodies.

The Sugino girls, back to normal in every sense, took in their surroundings slowly, then realized four things at once: (A) they were naked (B) they were in a bath (C) with their bodyguards (D) who were also naked.

Mimiru, the one who had shown the least estrogen out of all of her siblings, was the first to react.

"_**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!**_" she screamed, face redder than a maraschino cherryas shewrapped her arms around her bare chest, "**AAAAAAAAUGH! AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!_**"

"**_PERVERTS!_** **_PERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTSS!_**" Mitsuki (her voice finally returns) shrieked, hurling water buckets, shampoo bottles and every other projectile object near her.

"**YOU _SICK_, DISGUSTING _LASCIVIOUS_ LECHERS!**" Michiru (wow…so angry she didn't stutter) bellowed, "**HOW _DARE_ YOU!**"

"**GET _OUT!_**" Misaki yelled, crouched low in the water as the pilots scrambled from the bath, "**GET _OUT!_ OUT!_ OUT!_ O-_U_-T! _OUT!_**"

* * *

(A/N: The girls are back...and have locked themselves inside their rooms. Yup, they refuse to go anywhere near their bodyguards, even if it means missing school. And what about Duo's dance lessons? Will he finally get a break since Mimiru wont get near him? Or will he get the proverbial pink slip if she gives up onhim completely in lieu of Zechs Marquise? R&R!) 


	16. Mission Brief: A Change In the Line Up?

(A/N: YAY! Another chapter up! And lemme just say, I have the nicest reviewers ever! Nothing but constructive criticism, no flamers yet! You guys are fantastic and I love you all to death. I can't thank you enough for making want to continue this fic, and now, the next chapter.)

* * *

All five Pilots were panicked stricken. 

For the first time in their careers, they didn't know what to do.

Five, screaming…naked, yes, their hormones wouldn't allow them to overlook that little factor, teenage girls.

Nothing in any of their combat scenarios or years of combat training covered this particular scenario.

They knew they'd be forever labeled as perverts if they didn't leave immediately, but how were they supposed to exit the baths without the Sugino's seeing them in the buff?

Their towels and clothes were in the locker room, which was fifteen, remote feet away, which while normally was just a stones throw, seemed to be in another country.

There must be some way to get to the locker room without making this situation worse than it already was.

The screams were getting louder.

Out of options.

Couldn't think!

Screams. Blocking. Out. Thought. Processes.

Quatre's apologetic voice was heard yelling over the din, "**_Please excuse me!_**"

Wufei dared to crack open an eye as Quatre streaked from the turbulent waters to the locker room, blushing from head to toe as he covered himself in the appropriate places.

He then noticed Duo very quickly, and rather creatively, covering his shame with his lengthy, sodden hair, before shooting up form the bath and darting after Quatre.

Not about to be the last one in the tub, Wufei momentarily shut down the common sense portion of his brain, you know, the little section that tells you _"OMG! This is tooooooooo embarrassing!"_, and ran after them.

Heero and Trowa decided that by creatively ducking behind one another, they could conceal all their extremities as they fled to the locker room…they were right, but it still would have made any yaoi fangirl's day.

Trowa slammed the door behind him, muffling the sounds of the enraged, mortified screams as she slid to the floor, rather pink in the face.

* * *

"Oh…my lord." Heero mumbled, face buried in his knees, "This…this is to disgraceful. This is like some horrid scene out of one of Maxwell's manga." 

"Hey, don't you dare go dissin' Ranma." Duo snorted, tossing the Part-time Clown and the Perfect Soldier towels, cheeks tinged pink from embarrassment.

"O wo de shen." (1) Wufei moaned, face burning with shame, "My ancestors will **never **forgive me for such debauchery."

"Oh, Allah." Quatre whispered, face hidden in his hands, "Please forgive me. And my **_sisters_**…wh-what would they think of me if they found out?"

"The matter at hand is the girls; they definitely don't trust us anymore." Trowa muttered pulling on his boxers and tossing his towel on the floor.

"Yeah…we better speak to Noin and Po." Heero said numbly as he tugged on his tank top, not really bothering to dry himself off (he's still in shock; surprising)

"Why **those** two?" Wufei asked dully, yanking his damp arm through the sleeve of his kung-fu uniform, "What could they **_possibly _**offer to this situation?"

"Well, they're women." Quatre said as they exited the locker room, "And they we're teenagers themselves not long ago. They're still quite young, so they can offer valuable insight as to how to rectify this situation."

"We can only hope." Duo sighed, braiding his hair as he walked (it's second nature; he can do it without looking), "This mission has more kinks than Chang's libido."

Wufei shot a murderous glare at Pilot 2, which was completely ignored since he's so used to it.

"Please." Trowa mumbled tiredly, "Things are stressful enough as it is. Don't make things worse, Duo."

"What?" Duo said in a not-so-innocent way as he snapped a hair tie around the end of his newly completed plait, "It's not my fault he has no sex drive."

Wufei let loose a roar and charged after the snickering Pilot, chasing him down the hall until both disappeared from sight.

The other three stared after them before exchanging exasperated looks.

"Noin and Ms. Po, right?" Quatre asked listlessly.

"**Right.**" Trowa and Heero sighed, Trowa going with Quatre, Heero marching off, gun in hand, to retrieve the wayward 'bodyguards'.

* * *

"…_coast clear?_" Misaki whispered (I know. Shocking, but she actually can lower her voice) 

Michiru chewed her thumbnail nervously, taking it so short that it was almost to the quick.

Mitsuki was cursing under breath, eyes flashing, shifting from foot to foot in nervous tension.

Mimiru's face was still beet red and she tapped her foot in a drumbeat know only to herself in agitation.

Mikura poked her head around the corner, looking left and right, before giving the thumbs up.

"_All clear!_" she hissed, "_Go! Go! Go!_"

All five Sugino girls shot out from behind the bend, dressed in nothing but terry cloth towels and a smile, ran down the empty halls, reached their individual rooms and took refuge inside.

Misaki flopped on her bed, buried her face in her pillow, fingers disappearing into the material as she muffled an almost demonic scream.

She punched and kicked and abused her poor mattress, unleashing her fury on it until she had no anger left to give and began to cry from complete embarrassment.

"I'll **_never_** be able to look them in the face **again!**" she snuffled, breath coming in dry hitches.

Mikura took up her bokuto and began pulverizing every piece of furniture in her bedroom, save for her bed, into splinters.

The rubble that had once been her furniture began to take over the room as her blood came to a boil.

"**Stupid** **_-SMASH-_** **sick** -**_KRASH-_** **perverts!**" she snarled, decimating her bureau and sending the clothing it contained everywhere.

Michiru grabbed her laptop and began typing away, trying to push the memory from her head by focusing all her attention on her newest program.

"Cosign…vector…" she mumbled under her breath, eyes going glazed as she let herself be consumed by her encoding.

Her posture began to decline little by little until she was what is famously know as, "The De-fragger's Hunch" fingers flying over the keys.

Mitsuki whipped her soccer ball out of hiding and began king it violently around the room, breaking her mirror, a chair and several other items.

"I…can**_NOT_**…believe…I **trusted** them!" She gasped out after about an hour of this destructive venting.

She slumped to the floor, a shard of broken mirror by her knees which she angrily swiped away.

Mimiru sat down on her bed, face in her hands, taking deep breaths, in an attempt to calm herself, but her source of comfort was still at the house…but not for long.

She walked over to the phone and looked up the number of a certain Preventer in the directory, dialing the four digit number.

"Hi, it's me." Mimiru muttered into the receiver, "Listen, there's something I need you t' do for me. It's kind of important."

* * *

Noin and Sally stared, eyes close to leaping from their sockets, at the five guilty looking pilots before them (two of which were being held at gun point) 

The coffee Sally held in her hand fell to the floor, splattering everywhere, not that she noticed.

"So, um…yeah." Wufei muttered awkwardly, breaking the horrible silence and wringing his hands to relieve the building tension.

"…wow." Noin mumbled, falling into her chair, eyes still wide as saucers, "I mean…wow. I-I mean…whoa."

"What I think Lucreizia trying to say is that you're in some serious shit here." Sally said, filling in for her friend who was currently at a loss for words.

"No kiddin'." Duo snorted, folding his arms, "We **_know_** that. What we're **askin'** is if there's anythin' **_you_** can suggest to help **fix** this situation."

The barrel of Heero's gun tapped against the back of his skull.

"Watch it." the Perfect Soldier growled, "This is just as much your fault, so acting superior is out of the question."

"Yes, mother." Duo sulked.

"Is there **_anything_** at all we can do to make this right?" Quatre pleaded (GAH! Not the puppy-dog face!), "Anyway at all we can apologize and prove we're not p-perverts?" (had to force that last word out; so innocent)

Noin's brainstem appeared to reattach itself, and a thoughtful look filled her face.

"Frankly boys, the only way I can think of is to have someone vouch for you when each of you go to apologize." She replied, "It will have to someone impartial too."

"Unbiased?" Trowa asked, "Do you have someone in mind Lady Noin?"

"Yes, I do." Noin said peaceably.

A look of disgust filled Duo's face.

"**_HOOOOOOOOO _NO!**" He said angrily, "Not**_ him! _ANYONE** but him!"

"But he is completely neutral when it comes to the five of you." Sally replied with a shrug.

"Just let it go, Duo." Trowa said evenly, stretching his arms over his head.

"It's the only way to regain our credibility with our charges." Heero said, tapping the back of Duo's skull with his Haskell .45 Auto Pistol again.

* * *

Duo looked like he was about to blow a gasket when the "Impartial Judge" himself, none other than Milliardo Peacecraft (who didn't see that one coming) entered Noin's office. 

"Noin, I just delivered some live cargo to Sugino Mimiru-san." he said in a respectful tone.

Duo glared at white blonde haired man.

_"Bah! You're not foolin' anyone, Mr. High-an'-Mighty."_ He thought with a scowl.

"Ah, Zechs, just the man I wanted to see." Noin, a smile on her lips.

Milliardo smiled warmly at his former classmate then turned his attention to Duo, startling the braided pilot, who then returned the Lightning Count's laser like stare with a fierce (childish) scowl.

"Mimiru-san…also asked that I pass a message on to you." Milliardo said evenly, "To sum up her message in a few concise words, _'Clean up your act, or you're out of mine.'_ Meaning, Mimiru-san wishes to switch dance partners…and guards."

The sound of seven jaws simultaneously dropping echoed through out the now rather cramped room.

"In all my time knowing her, I have never seen Mimiru-san this angry." Milliardo said calmly, "If you don't learn the meaning of tact, I will not hesitate to act upon her wishes. She is one of my sister's friends, and I do not wish my sister to be unhappy."

_"But…it wasn't even his fault."_ Wufei thought incredulously, _"It was those damn doctors."_

"Zechs…" Noin said in a sugary sweet tone that told her classmate to stop speaking, "…before you go off on Mr. Maxwell, you need to know the situation in its entirety, as I doubt any of the Sugino's do."

"…situ…ation?" Milliardo frowned, "What situation?"

"Well for the past two days, the Quinnts have been traipsing around as toddlers." Sally sighed, "Courtesy of our five favorite doctors."

Milliardo's face went blank…then he got within one foot of Noin, eyes narrowed fiercely.

"Is this some kind of **_joke?_**" he growled.

"I wish." Noin sighed, "But sadly, yes, it's the truth. And because of where and when they returned to normal, the girls think our boys here are nothing more than a bunch of deranged perverts."

"…Oh dear…um…" Milliardo colored slightly and turned to face Duo, "Sorry about that."

Duo blinked, totally thrown off kilter by the older man suddenly bowing to him in apology.

"N-no…problem?" he said uncertainly.

* * *

Milliardo walked beside Trowa as the two marched to Mikura's room. 

"Remember." Milliardo said sternly, "She's angry, so be prepared for anything."

"Right." Trowa nodded, a determined glint in his eyes.

He raised his hand to knock on the door when the hydraulics flew into motion before his fingers even touched it.

A bokuto shot through the opening, aiming for his head, wielded by an unbelievably pissed Mikura, dressed in a dingy gray tank top and black80's style shorts (they came back for awhile)

"**_YEOWW!_**" Trowa cried, barely catching it in time, "Mikura, please, calm down."

"**_I'M_ NOT TAKING _ANY_ ORDERS FROM A _PERVERT!_**" Mikura snarled, trying to wrench her sword from his grip.

"Mikura-san." Milliardo said in a pacifying tone, "I can assure you, Mr. Barton is anything but a pervert."

"Mi-Milliardo…kun?" Mikura asked warily, still trying to free her bokuto, "Y-you're…you're standing up for…but…"

"I would stake my very life that he is not." Milliardo said resolutely.

Mikura looked very confused and Trowa took this opportunity to extract the wooden sword from her hands.

"It's nothing more than a huge misunderstanding." Milliardo said, "If you do not wish to take my word for it, go and speak to Lady Noin, or Dr. Po. I'm sure they will have a very interesting tale for you."

Mikura looked from Trowa to the Lightning Count then stared at the floor and nodded, mumbling what sounded to be, "Sorry Trowa" under her breath.

* * *

Milliardo returned to where Quatre stood nervously. 

"Why so edgy?" the elder Peacecraft asked the blonde Arab.

"Because she's a soccer player." Quatre said apprehensively, "And I'm pretty sure she brought her ball along."

"Well that does pose a problem." Milliardo said thoughtfully, "Just let me go in first and talk to her then."

Milliardo then knocked on the door.

"**IF YOU'RE NAME IS _QUATRE_, RABERBA, OR _WINNER_, GO THE _FUCK_ AWAY!**" Mitsuki screamed through the door.

"Mitsuki-san, its me." Milliardo said calmly.

The door slid open and the quint with the Hyuuga Hinata haircut stared up at him cautiously.

"Milli-chan?" she asked cagily, "Wh-what are you doing here? Whaddya want?"

"I heard that you've been through quite a time." Milliardo said soothingly, trying to ease her frazzled nerves, "You want to talk about it?"

Mitsuki stared up at the taller man in consideration for a moment or two before giving a slight nod and moving aside to let him in, shutting the door after him, leaving a very anxious Quatre waiting the result in the hallway.

Minutes passed and the door reopened.

Mitsuki ran out, looking like she was looking for something, Milliardo not far after her.

She ran right past Quatre and towards Noin's office, fingers missing the activation switch that opened the door three times before she was successful and darted inside.

"Well?" Quatre asked, now looking positively scandalized.

"I don't think you need worry much longer." Milliardo said calmly, moving to go assist Wufei.

* * *

Wufei shuffled foot to foot outside Misaki's door. 

"About time." Wufei growled out agitatedly, "Let's just get this over with okay?"

"Very well, Mr. Chang." Milliardo said agreeably, entering Misaki's room without knocking (he could hear her crying through the walls)

"Misaki-san? What ever is the matter?" he asked, his voice taking on a concerned note as she lifted her face from the pillow to look at him through bloodshot eyes.

"M-Milli…ch-ch-chan…" she managed through her hitched breathing, "The guys…our b-bodyguards…they…they…**_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**"

Wufei listened to Milliardo reason and pacify the girl through the door and had to admit, the Lightning Count's manipulation skills were quite impressive.

Within minutes, the door opened and Misaki walked out, hiccupping a bit and scanning the halls for Wufei, (who was now hiding in an air duct on the ceiling) looking to apologize.

* * *

Heero greeted Milliardo with a nod and the two entered Michiru's room together. 

Michiru didn't acknowledge either one of them, so engrossed was she by her security encoding (remember, she's programming the security system for her house)

Milliardo, noting that Heero's "companion" was tucked under his arm, gave him a nudge forward.

Taking the hint, Heero took a seat beside Michiru and linked up his laptop to hers, not that she noticed.

Fingers flying across the keyboard, he quickly typed out a message and sent it to her.

It popped up across her programming language: _I APOLOGIZE FOR MY HORRENDOUS CONDUCT._

Michiru blinked, then typed a quick reply: _…ACCEPTED. SOMEHOW I GET THE FEELING THAT THIS WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

* * *

_

Milliardo had taken this opportunity to locate Duo outside of Mimiru's room.

Milliardo knocked on the door.

"Who dares disturb my solitude?" a voice demanded sarcastically.

"Tis I, Lord Peacecraft." Milliardo smirked mockingly.

"Enter, mortal." Came the dry retort as the door slid open.

Milliardo motioned for Duo to follow, which he did, a bit nervously; he seemed to recall his saying something about delivering some "live cargo" to Mimiru not long ago.

Mimiru lay on her bed, propped up against Jasmine the Lioness, reading a thick volume of Poe.

Her brows knitted together in disdain upon seeing Duo, and a faint pink tinge filled her cheeks.

"You didn't say anything about HIM being with you." Mimiru muttered, eyes returning to her book, "What do you want?"

"To explain what really happened in the baths today." Milliardo said calmly, noting how her eyebrow quirked at that last statement though her eyes remained glued to the pages, "Tell me…are there any…holes in your memory at all where the past two days are concerned?"

Mimiru finally lowered her book.

"Well now that you mention it…" she said dryly, "There's a big, freakin' blank spot where the last two days should be. Tell me, do you have any insight on this?"

"Mimi, how broad minded are you?" Duo asked sheepishly, pulling up a chair and sitting down backwards in it.

"What does that have to do with this?" Mimiru frowned, regarding the braided boy with a piercing look.

"Because you're going to have to have a lot of blind faith to believe this." Millirado grimaced.

* * *

TRANSLATION:

(1) O wo de shen - Oh my god

* * *

(A/N: Duo's dance training resumes and Mimiru decides togive new meaning to the phrase "Extreme Training". Fitting day arrives. Will the sight of the gaudy costumes make Duo a fugitive from fashion? And what about the other pilots? How will they handle the sudden transition from Army Base to Venician Canals? R&R)


	17. Mission Brief: Extreme Training 2daMax!

(A/N: My reviewers are fantastic! Yay! Enjoy this next chappie!)

* * *

Mimiru did a walkover, alone save for the presence of the ever faithful, aging lioness, Jasmine. 

The tale told to her by Milliardo Peacecraft and Duo Maxwell was wild and weird and sound like something straight out of a sci-fi novel, so there was no way she was going to believe such crock…

…but since both Baronette Noin and Dr. Po confirmed their story (not to mention the hours of video footage from the security room), no matter how far-fetched the story sounded, it was one hundred percent true.

"Man…this is totally unreal." She sighed, stretching backwards until her hands hit the ground, "But still, no time to worry about that. I've got bigger fish to fry."

It was true, really. There was only a week and a half left before the competition in Vienna, Austria and Duo was still being obstinate and stubborn when it came to his training.

"Dancing with a dude" was waaaaaaaay too fruity for his tastes, as he so fluently put it during their last session, "dancing with Zechs is nothin' no way like dancin' with a girl" he said.

"I just don't know what to do." Mimiru scowled, leaving her stretch to sit with Jasmine, "He just can't seem to obtain the muscle memory necessary."

"Who can't do what now?"

Mimiru glanced up to see Sally Po entering the training facility.

"Maxwell." Mimiru sighed, "He just isn't improving and I'm running out of options and out of time."

"Well…you just haven't put him in his element." Sally said, walking over to a barbell, "Spot me, will you?"

Complying, Mimiru was hell bent on worming something out of the "Good Doctor", as she had dubbed her.

"What do you mean by 'his element'?" Mimiru frowned, following the motion of the bar with her hands, ready to catch it if necessary, "Explain."

"Well, everyone responds the best when 'put in their element' as it were." Sally explained, "Yours for example, seems to be complete solitude. Me, personally, I respond best to high stress situations."

The barbell was replaced on the rack and Sally got up to put on some heavier weights.

"…so…what's Maxwell's?" Mimiru asked bluntly.

Sally laughed as she slid the lighter weights off.

"You really wanna know huh?" she grinned, watching as the dancer gave a brisk nod, "Well then, you should know, he responds best to-"

* * *

"**MAXWELL! This time I really _WILL_ kill you!**" Wufei roared, chasing Duo, currently laughing his ass off around the Mess Hall. 

"Oh Wufei, calm **down!**" Misaki said offhandedly, "He didn't**_ mean_** anything by it!"

"The **hell **you say!" Duo laughed, jumping over a table to avoid Wufei's newly sharpened katana.

"What's the betting that Duo trips and Wufei skewers him?" Mikura asked Trowa as the uni-banged teen shuffled some playing cards.

"Without any intervention by Heero, I'd say…four to three?" Quatre guessed, accepting the cards Trowa passed his way.

"I'm liking those odds." Trowa said, smirking a little as he glanced at his hand, "I'm in."

"Who says that I wont?" Heero muttered, looking vaguely annoyed, "They're giving me a headache."

"N-not to mention…all th-th-the property damage." Michiru stuttered, looking at her cards with out revealing a thing.

"I think the real problem, Michi dear, is that is Wufei did kill Duo, they'd be out a fine combatant." Mitsuki said, tossing her cards in the middle, declaring loudly that she folded.

"What's wrong, Wufei?" Duo taunted over his shoulder as the door to the Mess Hall slid open and Mimiru strode in, "It's not my fault you have no sex drive."

Both pilots, noticing with wide eyes the sudden obstruction (Mimiru) in their path, came to a screeching halt, Wufei pulling back on the hilt of his katana just in time.

"…one thing Maxwell." Mimiru said sardonically, (heard everything) folding her arms, "How do you know anything at all about Chang-san's libido? Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class?"

Duo's jaw dropped and began to open and close like a fish gasping for air.

"Because really, the only way you could acquire that particular information…" Mimiru drawled, "…is if you and Chang-san were doing the horizontal tango."

"Which we're not." Wufei growled, "I would never dishonor my marital vows with such vulgar-!"

"**You were MARRIED?**" Misaki gaped, eyes wide as saucers.

There was a silence as everyone tried to decide whether it would be appropriate to start asking questions…or laugh.

* * *

However, Mimiru had other ideas and cleared her throat loudly (decided to go with option -C-) 

"Well, none of that matters currently." She said dryly, "Maxwell, you come with me."

"Not another training session." Duo moaned, "Didn't you and Marquise grill me enough yesterday?"

"Now, this, I must see." Wufei smirked, sheathing his katana, "I can't wait to see how far you've…progressed."

Duo scowled at that last remark.

"Hey, why don't we all go?" Mikura asked, rising from her seat.

"You know…come to think of it…I've yet to seen you dance." Trowa murmured, digging Duo's grave that much deeper.

"I haven't seen him make a step myself either." Heero muttered, "You have me intrigued."

"We'll all go!" Misaki cried happily.

"Yes, this sounds very entertaining." Quatre smiled replacing the deck into it's box (new deck)

"Mimiru…are you alright with th-this?" Michiru asked tentatively.

"Mm." she nodded as the procession followed her out of the Mess Hall, "In fact…you may find this training session in particular…very entertaining."

"Zechs is gonna be there again, huh?" Duo mumbled, stating it as a fact, rather than a question.

"No, actually, he's not." Mimiru replied, making Pilot 2 blink in very obvious surprise, "Today we're practicing one on one."

She led them to the training facility and stopped just outside the door, blocking the entrance.

"Y'know…you just can't hack it the way you've been going." Mimiru said coolly, lifting her now arctic stare to look at Duo.

"What?" Quatre asked, mildly shocked, "What do you mean Mimiru-jo?" (1)

"It means he can't cut it as my dance partner." Mimiru said bluntly, "Not at the rate he's going."

She looked directly at Duo, with a stare so piercing that made her appear to be riveting holes through his skull and staring at the wall behind it.

"I've given it a lot of thought…and I just couldn't figure out why it wasn't clicking for you…what I was doing wrong…then I realized how out of your element you were." Mimiru said frostily, no warmth in her voice, "With the help of Sally Po…I discovered just what your element is."

* * *

She pushed the switch on the doors and they slid open…to reveal the dance training bootcamp from hell. 

Balance beams arranged over wooden boards that had thousands of nine inch nails hammered through them.

"Danger. Life-threatening situations in which you could be seriously hurt or be killed." Mimiru said, leaping over one of the deadly boards and onto a balance beam, "This…Maxwell…is your element."

"Holy **_shit _**dude." Mikura mumbled, "Mimi's always been competitive, but this is **nuts!**"

"Mimi's gone **_bananas!_**" Misaki cried, "This is totally **insa-!**"

"Perfect." Heero said, interrupting her, "Integrating a life or death situation with non-combative training."

"…I can't believe I'm saying this, but this isn't a bad idea." Quatre said sheepishly, noting the look of horror on Mitsuki's face.

Duo white as a sheet and sweating, looked to Trowa for support, but the Part-time Clown merely nodded towards the balance beams.

He didn't even bother to look to Wufei for help, because he already knew that internally, the Chinaman was doing a jig.

Duo followed Mimiru onto the balance beams, trying his best to shut out the very pointy nails below him.

He placed his hand in the proper position on her waist and clasped her right in his and prepared to perform this dance of doom.

Duo took the lead, trying his best to recall the names of the steps in his head.

"_Reverse quarter turn, sashay, contra check…god, who names these things anyway?"_ He thought allowing his mind to drift.

"Remember Maxwell…" Mimiru's cold voice sliced through his thoughts, "A single slip up will mean your downfall."

Even as she spoke, he could feel his foot slip on the balance beam, sending him to his doom on the nails below.

_-FATCH-_

Mimiru had grabbed him by the front of the shirt, saving him by mere inches, and glared at him viciously.

"Do you get it yet, Maxwell?" she snarled, "A single misstep, a single missed throw, a single bad lift can all lead to broken bones, ripped tendons and even death in dancing. Do NOT treat this as a joke."

She pulled him back onto the balance beam.

"Are you ready…to get serious about this Maxwell?" Mimiru asked, looking a lot less severe.

"…heh." Duo snickered and hopped to his feet enthusiastically, "You bet, Captain Blood."

* * *

No one could have prepared the remaining four pilots for the drastic improvement brought on by Duo's new mind frame. 

"…_he's…dancing…"_ Wufei thought numbly, eyes as big as plates, _"…actually…dancing…"_

"_I knew he could do it."_ Quatre smiled cheerfully, but he's still pretty shocked at the radical upswing in ability.

"…_he still needs work."_ Heero thought disdainfully (one of two pilots who have been schooled in dance)

"_Unbelievable." _Trowa thought with a shake of his head, _"Talkabout your proverbial "flood gate's being opened'. I never really thought he'd improve this much."_

Almost abruptly, Mimiru stopped in the middle of a turn nearly hurling Duo nailword again.

"**_GEEZUS!_**" he cried as he struggled to maintain his footing,"A little **warning** would be nice."

"Outfits." Mimiru said, looking like she was about to kick herself, "I can **_not_** believe I forgot!"

"Oh **no!** **_Mimi!_**" Misaki cried chidingly from the sidelines, "How could you **space** on something **_that _**crucial?"

"Brain bubble?" Mitsuki asked as Mimiru hopped down from the balance beam.

"W-well you better call Misha." Michiru said nervously.

"Hopefully she'll make an exception for you." Mikura said fretfully as Mimiru left them all in the dust.

"Could one of you please explain what you're rambling about?" Duo cried.

"Maxwell…do you really expect the officials to let you parade around in your gym clothes on stage?" Heero asked reproachfully.

"In competitions, couples are scored by how well they perform, their overall presentation, and their costume." Quatre supplied.

"You-you mean…" Duo's face went pale as he recalled a dance off Sister Helen had forced him to watch at the Maxwell Church.

Nightmares of frilly white shirts and sequined jackets flooded his mind.

"Oh god…" he whispered, "I've gotta get out of here!"

Wufei, noting Duo's sudden change in tune, leapt onto the braided boy's back and pinned him to the ground by sitting on him.

"**_WAAAAAAAAUGH!_ WUFEI! LEMME _GOOOO!_**" Duo bawled, flailing his arms uselessly.

"Now why would I do that?" the Chinese teen asked innocently, in a tone reminiscent of the Shinigami himself.

"What is he going on about?" Mimiru asked, re-entering the training facility with Jasmine in tow (took her back to her room after talking to Sally).

"Not sure." Trowa shrugged, "Have you made the necessary arrangements?"

"Yes." Mimiru nodded, absently stroking the lioness's head, "She expects us there within the hour."

"**_Noooooo!_**" Duo wailed.

"…what's your damage Maxwell?" Mimiru asked.

"We often ask ourselves that very question." Trowa replied, "We've yet to discover the answer."

"**HEY!**"

* * *

"Gutentag Misha!" Mimiru called as the pilots and their charges entered a rather large store filled with sparkling outfits. 

"Gutentag Mimiru!" a woman of about twenty-nine grinned, rushing out to meet the particularly large group, "So, what are we looking for today?"

"Take care of him first." Mimiru said, pushing Duo forward, "Try to make him look a little more…masculine."

"Say what?" Duo said getting up in the shorter girl's face.

"Well Duo, you hafta face facts sooner or later." Mitsuki said matter-of-factly, "There aren't exactly a lot of guys who go parading around with three or more feet of hair."

"And the ones that do are either gay, or transvestites." Mikura said, causing Wufei to dissolve into snickers.

"Are you **_IMPLYING_ THAT _I'M-!_**" Duo bellowed only to be silenced by Mimiru as she interjected.

"Not to mention, you're skinny." She remarked, poking his waist, "You have thin shoulders, and you're a lean, or feminine, body type. To put it into lame man's terms, Maxwell, you're a girly man with long, flowing hair that flow in the wind."

The other pilots were beside themselves laughing.

"Can't **breathe!** Cant _**breeeeathe!**_" Trowa moaned, trying to take in a lungful through his hysterics.

"Oh it **hurrrrrrrrrrts!**" Quatre howled, clutching his stomach, "Oh! **_OH!_** My side!"

Heero didn't attempt to speak; laughing was so out of context for him that even trying to speak now would be system overload.

"G-G-**_GIRLY MAN?_**" Duo roared, looking ready to strangle his…partner, until a certain fitter intervened.

"Now, now." Misha grinned, giggling despite herself, "Misha swears that she will make you look very handsome."

"Just do your thing Misha." Mimiru smirked, walking off with an off handed wave, "I'll have Gustav help me."

* * *

Several tuxedo exclusions later, Misha was searching for another suit for the Shinigami to try on while the Pilots meandered about, toying with the beaded skirts out of sheer boredom. 

One had been vetoed because Mitsuki had loudly declared that it made Duo look like a cheap Malaysian transexual.

Another and had been lobbed into the "TOSS" pile, because Misaki proclaimed that it made Duo look like Chuck Norris.

And one had been thrown away because it made Pilot 2 look like someone out of Saturday Night Fever.

Now the braided pilot changed into the latest tuxedo with fading hope…until he looked in the mirror that is.

"Huh…not bad…not bad at all." Duo said aloud, looking himself over in the three-way mirror as Misha looked him over critically.

The tuxedo she had chosen was loose and made him appear to have more muscle than he actually did. It was made of a light weight material that was very easy to move, or dance, in.

"You look totally hawt, Duo." Misaki grinned, "I'd date ya in a heartbeat."

"Hmm…Mimiru!" Misha called, "Come take a look at this one."

There was the sound of footsteps and Mimiru appeared from behind a screen.

"How goes it?" she asked, switching a stray hair out of her eyes.

"What do you think of this one, Mimiru-jo?" Misha asked, still observing Duo as though she was looking for some thing wrong.

"Hm…good fit." Mimiru said, grabbing Duo's arm and lifting it up and down experimentally, "Good movement…excellent flexibility."

"We have a winner." Wufei snickered, moving away from a rack of particularly gaudy dancing dresses.

"Th-thank goodness." Michiru said, looking tired as she slumped on a bench, "When are we l-l-leaving for V-Venice again?" (the contest is in Vienna; they're staying in Venice)

"In two days." Trowa said mildly (filled in by Noin), "We will be staying with your grandparents I believe."

"Oh yeah…at their vacation home!" Misaki said, looking very happy at the thought.

"**Yay!** We get to see Grandpa Guillaume and Grandma Fleur again!" Mitsuki grinned.

"Eh?" Quatre blinked, surprised at the names, "You're grandparents are French?"

"On our mom's side." Mikura explained, "We're French-Japanese; half and half."

"I always thought you're coloring was a little strange for purebloods." Heero nodded.

"At any rate, start packing you're bags tonight." Mimiru said wryly as she paid for their purchases (her outfit shall remain secret until competition night), "We have a **_lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng_** trip ahead of us."

* * *

(1) -jo : is used to refer to girls of high status (like the Sugino Quints); equivelent to "Miss"

* * *

(A/N: The pilots arrive in Venice only to discover the threat has followed them there. Will the Dance Competition go off without a hitch? Or will an unexpected setback appear? R&R!) 


	18. Mission Brief: Fierce Competition

(A/N: Okay, this is where I'm gonna do a shout out to everyone who reviewed!

**PROPS GO OUT TO:** **_AisuhanaRyuuInari_** - thanks for help with that correction last chap ;) -, **_chocolateriku_** - thanks for being so sweet and for reading my fic in the first place -, **_Vitanie Tora_** - Tora-chan, you've stuck by my fic for the longest time and I luv ya for it! -, **_The Dude_** - you reviewed anonymously, but I luv ya anyways! -, **_Kinoshita Kristanite_** - thank you for pointing out that whoopsie-doodle in Ch. 16! -, **_The evil waffles_** - I'm glad you read my fic and gave creative (very help, I might add)input; I hate people who read fics just to flame! -, **_moogle in paradaisu_** - BIIIIIIIIG huggles for you! -, **_Gundamfanzach_** -Reviewed anonymously, but you STILL took the time TO review so you will be recognized! -,**_ Brandi Karma_** - I'm glad you like the twist I threw in! -, **_Kei-Ten_** - Love ya sweetie! -, **_Kris_** - Another anonymous review, but you took time out of your busy day to type up how much you like my fic! -, **_Yanielle_** -Hugz and Kisses! I'm so glad you like my ficcy! -, **_pacioli_** -I'm sorry if my fic confuzzled you! -, **_Sublime Angel_** -Thankies for being one o' my first reviewers! -, **_Brandi_** - Anonther anon. But hey, you didn't just read and run! So good for you! -, **_Ashen Rose_** - Always faithful and a fan, I don't know what it is I'm doing, but whatever it is, I'll try to keep it up! -, _**ShadyLady666**_ - Hello anonymous reviwer! I love you! Thank you for reviewing my ficcy! HUGGLES! -, **_Michiru Lee_** - I'm glad you enjoyed seeing Q-chan as a tranny! -, **_Gigglegal_** -Whoa...another anonymous reviewer. Ho well. HIIIIIII! -, **_someone_** -I get alot of anonymous reviewers huh? Well, you shall ALL be recognized! HELLO SOMEONE! I LOVE YOU! -

And that takes care of everyone!This is just to let you all know how muchI love you!And now...ONWARD!)

* * *

"Oh god…will someone PLEASE turn that crap off?" Mimiru groaned, sinking low in her plane seat as **_Dragosta din Tei_** blasted through the plane and pounded into her eardrums. 

The dancer was looking slightly green and a very pained look was filling her face as her siblings "attempted" to dance to the Romanian music reverberating around the cabin.

Duo would have lended a hand…but as Mimiru tripled his training schedule, he wasn't feeling too helpful at the moment…actually, what he was felling was intense pain through his buns, calves and thighs.

Wufei would have loved to put a stop to this madness…but he was currently dealing with a bout of food poisoning thanks to the in-flight food, so he was in no real position to help anyone.

Trowa was completely shutting out the world around him and was allowing the words of Virginia Wolf to wash his psyche away to parts unknown.

Quatre had been forced to take part in this spastic little dance fest and found, much to his utter amazement, that he was having a lot of fun and was not about to stop…no matter how dorky he looked.

Heero was the one who took matters into his own hands and stopped the loud, overly peppy Romanian music…by sending a hunting knife flying through the I-Pod playing it.

"**_Awwwwww!_**" Misaki groaned, looking dejectedly at the decimated music player, "And we were only on the ninth round too!"

"Party pooper." Mikura sulked stalking back to her seat next to Duo and sitting with a loud, discontented, "**HRMPH!**"

"And I **_just_** got the stupid thing **fixed** too!" Mitsuki grumped, flopping down next to Trowa poutily, "What a waste of money."

"I g-guess I could t-t-try repairing it when we land." Michiru said thoughtfully, gathering the pieces.

"I could help you if you like." Quatre offered, taking his seat next to her as the shy girl let loose a squeak and rapidly shook her head.

"Well Heero,**_ I_** for one, am grateful." Mimiru said, looking far less harassed then she had only moments before.

"Your thanks are not necessary." Heero said calmly, "I merely did it because they giving me a migraine."

"At least they aren't trying to cause your untimely demise." Duo muttered under his breath, shooting pains rocketing through his legs every time he so much as twitched.

"Did you say something Maxwell?" Mimiru asked mildly, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Nothing…nothing…" he muttered, perking up his ears to listen to the sweet music of Wufei retching in the bathroom.

Trowa licked his thumb and turned the page of his absurdly thick book he read, not looking up even once during all the chaos (such focus is truly admirable)

* * *

"Grandpa! Grandma!" 

"Fille! Comment allez-vous? (1) It is so good to see you!"

The elderly couple met the large group at the front doors of the very large estate (though Quatre's own still dwarfed it)

Guillaume, 63 and looking very good for his age, had thick, dark gray hair, cut short and glittering green eyes; a full beard graced his chin and a mustache his upper lip.

Fleur herself (57) had long white hair, streaked with some remaining gray hairs, neatly secured in a bun, and sparkling, doll-like brown eyes (doll-like meaning that they are decidedly large, yet pretty)

Guillaume and Fleur, or Lord and Lady Rousseau as they were more commonly known, turned out to be among the most sociable people the Pilots had ever met and upon meeting the G-Boys, the elderly pair immediately accepted them into the fold…

…meaning that they had to deal with a lot of hugs, cheek pinching and unwanted public embarrassment when Fleur noticed smudges on their faces, invisible to all but herself, and cleaned them off by way of a laced trimmed handkerchief and spit.

All that and they hadn't even unloaded their bags yet.

* * *

"Wow…are they always so…what is the word I'm looking for-OH YEAH! Touchy feely?" Duo asked, now that they were being ushered to their rooms by the palazzo staff. 

"Well, you have to take into account that we're their only grandchildren." Mikura said matter-of-factly, as Duo's face contorted with pain.

"Trowaaaaaaaaa…" he whined, "Carry me."

"And you can't forget the fact that we look exactly like mom." Mitsuki added as the were led up a flight of stairs.

"Carry yourself." Wufei snarled at the braided pilot, still looking queasy as he himself rode on the back of a butler.

"P-plus, they live q-q-quite aways out, so they don't get many visitors." Michiru supplied as they neared the top of the staircase.

"Why do **_I_** have to walk while **HE** gets carried?" Duo fumed to Quatre, who was trying to stay out of it, "He was only a **little** sick! **_I'VE_** been going through Captain Blood's training regime five times a d-!"

"You're holding us up, Duo." Trowa said blandly, giving the pilot a light shove, "Besides…Wufei was throwing up his meals from a week ago."

"That hardly qualifies as 'only a little sick'." Heero said coolly, "Now get moving…or I'll request that Sugino-jo quadruple what you're doing now."

"I can easily arrange it you know." Mimiru commented offhandedly, a malicious glint in her green eyes.

"…stupid…mother fuckin'…slave drivers…" Duo growled under his breath as they reached the top of the stairs, "…ridin' my ass twenty four seven…assholes…"

* * *

At long last, they were shown to their rooms and Duo collapsed in a happy puddle on his bed. 

But his happiness didn't last when a knock came at his door.

"**Open it yourself!**" Duo yelled, not moving from his spot on the bed, "**I'm _DYIN'_ in here!**"

The door swung inward and Quatre, Trowa and Heero entered the spacious interior, glancing around for places to sit (Wufei's still in his room napping off the after effects of food poisoning)

"Ughhh…whaddyou want?" Duo groaned.

"We've come to inform you that we've been followed." Quatre said pacifyingly, "Trowa located a number of nearly invisible tracking devices on our luggage."

"Well, that's just great." Duo grunted, still not making any move to sit up, "So what are we going to do?"

"The only thing we can." Trowa replied, "Wait for them to make a move."

"They'll undoubtedly wait for chance to take out all five girls at once." Heero said seriously, "The upcoming dance competition is undoubtedly when they'll make their move."

"So that means, I'll have to worry about my footwork and dodgin' a hailstorm of bullets at the same time?" Duo moaned, "Well that's just fan-fuckin'-tastic."

"You'll do fine." Quatre said reassuringly, patting Duo on the knee sending the braided boy into a string of expletives so foul that it would have made a sailor cringe.

"…has Mimiru really been working you **_THAT_** hard?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Duo, cobalt eyes watering with pain, glared up at his…friends.

"Dude…she's making me work muscles I didn't know I had." He growled, "She gave me yesterday and today off so I could recover, but on the condition that I put in three **hours** of practice come competition day. She so obsessed!"

"Passionate." Quatre corrected, "She pours her entire heart and soul into her dancing."

"_I think that Maxwell might be a little more on target this time."_ Heero thought blandly, _"She has a competitive streak a mile wide. Her own sisters said so."

* * *

_

"**_Haven't you found your shoes_ YET?**" Duo yelled, sounding slightly panicked as he thrust his face into the cabin Mimiru was currently disemboweling.

"**_NO!_ Now STOP _ASKING ME!_**" she shouted backed (wow..she raised her voice), up-ending a bed and, upon discovering her shoes were not concealed beneath it, zoomed off to another room to continue her search.

The Pilot's and their charges were currently aboard Rousseau's private yacht as they made their way to Vienna, Austria.

"Euh cheré! (2) You must hurry!" Fleur said, her face lined with worry as her grandchild streaked past her.

"Oui, you only have so much time!" Guillaume added, only increasing the agitation in the air as Duo and Mimiru ran by.

"God, how could a **DANCER** of **_ALL PEOPLE_**, lose her **DANCE _SHOES?_**" Mitsuki cried, looking utterly amazed, "**GAWD!** This happens **_EVERY TIME!_**"

"Well if you would **SHUT _UP_**and **HELP ME-!**" Mimiru snarled, looking ready to go medieval on her mouth…until there was a joyous cry of-

"Here they are!" Quatre said happily, a triumphant smile on his face as he ran up with the shoes dangling from his hand.

"**Where _WERE_ they?**" Duo asked, as Mimiru snatched them from Pilot 4 and promptly sat down hard on the floor to strap them on.

"In the fridge…god only knows how they got there." Wufei, now fully recovered, snorted, watching with amusement as Mimiru gave a slight squeal of, "_**Yeep!**_ Cold!" as the refrigerated leather hit her skin.

"At least we can go now…thank god." Heero muttered, running his fingers, with some difficulty, through his messy hair that, in all the chaos, he had yet to brush (not that it would matter, really)

"Did you remember to pack your outfits?" Trowa asked as he came out from tidying up one of the rooms Mimiru destroyed (one down thirteen to go)

"Yes." Duo and Mimiru replied monotonously like a pair of students answering a teacher at an assembly.

"We already know Mimiru had her hair and makeup done by how loudly she complained this morning." Misaki giggled, reaching forward to tweaked her sister's hair, which, in all the pandemonium, had managed to stay perfectly in place (gotta find out the number of that stylist)

Mimiru twisted her head around and then tried to bite Misaki, who then squealed, wrenched her hand back and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Can we just go already? We're late enough as it is." Mikura grumped, walking out on deck, where the crew was unloading the Rousseau's stretch limo from the cargo hold.

"N-not…really." Michiru said tentatively, "We have about an hour b-b-before opening ceremonies, so…"

"Less talky, more walky." Mikura said crisply, pushing Michiru gently towards the car.

* * *

The grandeur of the Burgtheater (or the Castle Theatre or Imperial Court Theatre) was quite overwhelming at first sight, but there was no time to stand around like slack jawed tourists-they were running behind schedule and had to get going. 

"Okay, we have reserved seats in the…third row." Quatre said, reading the information written on his ticket.

"Good luck, Maxwell." Trowa said seriously from his place in line as Pilot 2 and the eldest quint vanished into the building.

"I have an ominous feeling that somnething big is about to happen." Mikura said shivering a little, "Something huge."

"Good thing I brought my gun then." Heero said dryly, patting the front of his cumberbun.

"Pardonez-moi?" (3) Guillaume asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"Excusez-moi?" (4) Fleur asked, a frightened tinge coloring her words.

"Oh, he just asked if he could have a piece of gum!" Misaki said hastily, forcing a stick into Pilot 1's hand, "Here ya go!"

"Nice save." Wufei noted to Mitsuki who sighed and shook her head.

"Just cuz they're a little older, doesn't mean their hearing's going." She mumbled as they made their way into the performance hall.

"Our seats are this way." Guillaume said, motioning to a large archway, "Follow me, s'il vous plait." (5)

"Of course." Quatre said, giving his most winning smile to cast off any remaining suspicions the elderly couple might have.

"Mon dieu!" (6) Fleur said, fanning herself in an overexaggerated manner, "You should aim more carefully, monsieur. You are likely to give this old woman a heart attack."

"**_GRANDMA!_**" The Sugino girls cried, looking thoroughly scandalized, "Act your **_age_** for the love of **god!**"

"_If Duo was here to see this, he would be having a field day."_ Wufei snorted, shaking his head as they finally founde their seats and sat down.

"_Hm, so what is the order this year?"_ Michiru thought to herself, opening the program she received at the door.

"Looks as though Olanika and Marshal Lawal are up first this time around." Trowa mused aloud, "Are they any good?"

"…they're the African Intercontinental Champions." Misaki said, looking slight stunned at the question, "They wouldn't BE here if they weren't good."

"Then it looks as though the representatives from the Netherlands are up second." Heero muttered scanning through the document, "Then Maxwell and Sugino-jo."

"I hope nothing goes wrong." Mitsuki sighed, leaning back in her seat, "Mimi would go ballistic. She's been training so hard for this."

"_And her blood is boiling now from the heat of competition."_ Quatre thought to himself, sweating a little, _"I almost pity Duo right now…almost."

* * *

_

"And hold that pose!"

Duo was a little shocked.

He wasn't tired, his muscles didn't hurt, and he no longer needed to think to remember the routine.

"Good work." Mimiru said, giving his shoulder a light swat, "Just make sure you perform like that tonight, kay Maxwell?"

"Doth mine ears deceive?" Duo said in mock surprise, "Words of praise tumbling from **_your_** lips? The world must be ending!"

"Ha ha." She snorted, rolling her eyes, "Yeah, fire is raining down from the sky as we speak, Maxwell."

"...when are gonna stop treating me like I'm a stranger?" He scowled, "I have a name ya know. Dee t' the You t' the Oh! My name is Duuuuuuuoooooo! Sing it with me!"

"Howbout…no?" Mimiru said derisively, adjusting the top of her costume as she spoke, "Ya offkey, tone deaf, girly bastard?"

"Now that was just plain harsh." Duo pouted as the crowds outside applauded for Adala Van Kuren and Desin Westerveldt (the Dutch couple), "What did I ever do to deserve that?"

"You want me to make a list?" she asked, affixing more double-sided tape to the brazier of her elaborate costume.

Duo stuck his tongue out at her back and she flipped him the bird in the mirror she stood in front of.

"Maxwell! Sugino! On deck!" The emcee called, causing both to turn around, "If you don't hurry up were going to fill your slot, now move it!"

Shooting each other looks that clearly said, "This is all your fault!" they hurriedly made their way to the floor entrance and awaited their cue before walking out.

* * *

"Look! It's Mimi!" Misaki squealed as Duo and her elder sibling strode out on to the dance floor, "Wow! Her costume this year is a lot glitzier than the one she wore last year." 

Blood red and gold bead work, sequins and rhinestones, as well as an elaborate skirt that was longer in back than the front, made the first daughter look as though she was phoenix (which was all good since that was what she was going for)

The fast tempoed music (MJ's**_ Thriller_**; I loved Dancing With The Stars) began and the two began their Pasa Doble across the well polished cherrywood floorboards.

"He's doing well." Wufei remarked, following his teammate with his eyes, "He hasn't missed a step…yet."

"Must you always be so negative?" Mikura snorted as Duo and Mimiru went into their first lift.

Duo had just lowered Mimiru to the floor when an explosion shook the building, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"What the hell?" he cried, instinctively grabbing Mimiru's upper arm and pulling her closer to shield her.

"What on earth is going on?" Fleur cried, as she was pulled away from her family by panicking audience members.

Men clad in black slid down from ropes that hung from a large gaping hole in the ceiling in a fashion the Gundam pilots found almost nostalgic from their days as terrorists (Ahh, memories.)

No one was quite exactly sure how what happened next happened, but from seemingly no where, a member of the group shot forward and wrenched Mimiru away from Duo and held a gun against her jaw.

"No way." Trowa murmured, eyes wide behind his uni-bang, "How did-that did not just happen."

"**_Mimi!_**" Mitsuki cried, trying to free herself from Quatre's grip, "Lemme **go!** She needs help!"

"**ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY _FREEZE!_**" The captor barked loudly as the rest of the black clad men and women flooded the building, "Anyone tries to make a move, the Sugino girl gets it."

He pressed the gun roughly against the underside of Mimiru jaw, as a low growl erupted from her throat.

"That's enough outta you." The kidnapper snarled, cocking the gun, "**_Alright!_** I want the rest of the Sugino girls down here, **NOW!** It's no use pretending you're not here either!"

Heero grabbed Michiru's wrist as she started to rise.

"What do you think you're doing?" He growled, "You are not going down there."

"It's suicide!" Wufei hissed as Misaki gave him a pained look, "I wont allow it!"

"What if you're killed?" Quatre asked in a panic laced voice, "Your father would be heartbroken."

"Complying with a hostage taker is not part of protocol." Trowa said, looking worried.

"We can't just leave her there by herself!" Michiru whimpered, not stuttering for once.

"We have to go." Mikura mumbled, pulling away from Trowa, "They'll kill her if we don't."

"What if that were your sister Q?" Mitsuki asked as she walked after Michiru and Mikura.

"We don't have a choice, Wu…'m sorry." Misaki said with an apologetic smile, as she made her way to the dance floor.

The Pilots watched as each girl was subdued by a black clad figure and led to their sibling and Duo.

"Now what?" Duo asked, feeling the scratchiness of the rope he was bound digging into his wrists.

"Now we wait for our esteemed leader." The captor said, "I'm sure he would just love to have a chat with you."

* * *

(1) Fille! Comment allez-vous: Girls! How are you?

(2) Euh cheré: Oh dear!

(3) Pardonez-moi: Pardon me?

(4) Excusemoi: I'm sorry?

(5) s'il vous plait : If you please/would

(6) Mon dieu: My goodness!

* * *

(A/N: The face behind the attacks is finally revealed...and its the last one anybody would have suspected. Who is it? R&R to find out!) 


	19. Mission Brief: Ways to Cope

(A/N: Okay, this is one of the few serious chappies in m' fic. I know, I know, but it HAD to be done. Sorry. Let's just get this one outta the way so we can get back the funny kay? Be sure to tell me how boring I am, kay? You have been warned.)

* * *

"All of you. Arms crossed behind your backs, heads down." 

Sugino girls looked as though they were unsure of whether or not to comply, but sharp jabs to the back with M-15's quickly made their minds up for them and they slowly but surely followed their captor's instructions.

"**_Sir!_**" the man barked, "They're all yours."

"Hm." A male voice grunted in reply, it's owner walking directly behind the quintuplets.

"You know…" the owner of the voice said quietly, as though trying to disguise his voice as he came behind Mikura, "…ten years ago…the ones known as the Mad Doctors pilfered something very valuable from me."

Mikura gave a tiny little cry as the hair covering the back of her neck was lifted for a moment, then dropped.

"That very same year…" the male continued in that same disguised tone as he moved on to Michiru, "…I managed to locate said doctors, traveling in the company of my only child."

Michiru involuntarily shuddered as her chin length hair concealing the nape of her neck was raised…then released.

"I arranged for my men to kidnap the Mad Doctors, and retrieve what had been stolen…but-!" he paused behind Misaki, "-there was a slight complication in my plans. My child…and one of her daughters were traveling with them, and were abducted as well."

Misaki gave a little squeaked as she felt her hair being raised and lowered.

"I had never anticipated for her to be there" The voice continued, moving behind Mitsuki, "And to make matters even more difficult, the item I sought was no longer **_with_** the Doctors."

Mitsuki cringed as short hair on the nape of her neck was brushed this way and that by rough fingers.

"And as if that wasn't enough, I discovered my men's mutinous act…they **_murdered_** my girl." The man growled, still behind Mitsuki, "And they allowed those **_wretched_** Doctors to escape before I found out what they did with it…until now."

He moved away from Mitsuki to stand behind Mimiru.

"All this time I couldn't figure it out; where in the world could those Mad Doctors have hidden something so precious? After all, any person charged with protecting something of that value would undoubtedly crack under the pressure…unless of course, they never knew they were protecting it to begin with."

Before her hair could even be lifted, Mimiru, shaken to the core at the venomous words spoken by this man, turned to get a good, long, look at him.

"Gr…Gr…Grand…pa?" she mumbled eyes wide, "How could you-I mean…how?"

"I'm sorry my dear." Guillaume said tiredly, slipping a switchblade out of his breast pocket, "But I need what's been hidden in your neck. Do forgive me."

* * *

Duo, quiet this entire time as he was working his hands free, was given the infinitesimal signal from Quatre to go. 

Hand diving into his pocket, he activated the remote switch for Deathscythe Custom.

The floorboards beneath the entire assembled party shook as the floor was ripped apart by five giant mechanized hands exploding upward.

"Hate t' destroy a National Landmark an' all, buuuut given th' circumstances, Gramps…" Duo grinned as he and his charge were lifted skyward.

"This…is one big hand." Misaki said dazedly, Wufei gripping her arm so she wouldn't plummet to the ground below.

"Thank you ever so much for pointing out the obvious." Wufei growled, forcing her into a seated position as he entered the cockpit.

"I d-don't understand." Michiru stammered as the hand of Wing Gundam closed around her so she wouldn't fall to her death, "Wh-wh-why did Grandpa **say** all those things?"

"We'll inform you when we reach the base." Heero said curtly from behind the helm of his own mecha, "Now, we must focus on a successful escape."

"Q…did you…did you know that something like this was gonna happen?" Mitsuki asked, trying to peer into the cockpit of Sandrock.

"…I wish I could tell you now." Quatre sighed apologetically, "But it just isn't safe. They could be tapping this frequency even as we speak."

"This is insane." Mikura mumbled into the index finger of Heavy Arms, "Totally. Completely. In. Sane."

"I can not say I don't agree with you." Trowa murmured as he made a steep dive toward the bottom of a ravine.

Mimiru said nothing, just listened to the wind screaming in her ears.

"Well…this day could've gone better, doncha think?" Duo asked cheerfully, "All that training for nothin'!"

The other four pilots let out an exasperated moan of, "DUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO!" as they reached Victoria Base.

* * *

They were met at the hanger by Noin, Sally Po and (much to Duo's annoyance) Milliardo Peacecraft. 

As they exited the Cockpits and assisted the Sugino's from the hands of the immense machines, Noin surveyed the faces of each civilian critically: all but Mimiru had dissolved into tears from the level of their Grandfather's treachery.

"Well…judging by the looks on your face…everything was just as we suspected." She sighed, "It's too bad. I had hoped it would have a different turn out than this."

"I suppose it's about time we explained what's going on." Sally said, looking slightly guilty, "When we first received your case file, we noticed how…unusual the attacks were. None were lethal. All were made in locations where help could be easily reached. Highly irregular."

"From that we theorized, whomever was assaulting you had to be someone close to you." Milliardo said calmly, "Somebody who knew you, wanted something from you, **_but_** didn't want you dead."

"So we had the boys here play down their unique skills as much as possible." Noin said, "A tactic we used on a radical group who assaulted Ms. Relena not long ago (see Episode Zero)."

"Don't care."

"Huh?" Noin stared from whence the voice originated, "I-I beg your pardon?"

"Don't care." Mimiru repeated, stalking paste the Baronette, "All I care about at this moment…is getting booze. Now."

"Uh-Mimi?" Duo asked sheepishly, "I don't think that self-medicating is sucha-"

Mimiru was up in his face before he could blink.

"**_SHUT IT!_**" She snarled, eyes flashing viciously,"You take me somewhere I can get **_REAL_** drunk, **_REAL_** fast. **NOW!**"

Duo blinked, a little surprised; he didn't think she could get this angry.

"Allow me." Milliardo said complacently, placing his hand on the first daughter's shoulder and leading her away.

"**HEY!**" Sally cried indignantly, "Don't go giving alcohol to **_minors!_** It's illegal!"

"If she wants to numb herself a little, let her." Milliardo shrugged not even slowing his clip (or turn around for that matter), "Who are we to tell her she can and can't do?"

"You could be court marshalled for this." Noin said frustratedly, throwing her hands in the air as the pair reached the hydraulic doors.

"Only if someone tells." Milliardo said offhandedly as the doors closed after him.

* * *

"I can not **_believe_** that Peacecraft!" Wufei cried a half an hour, his footsteps echoing as he strode angrily through the halls, "Giving alcohol to an underaged woman! How disgusting can you get?" 

The pilots after leaving the girls with Sally and Noin to be consoled and counseled, were now off in search of where "Zechs Marquise" had whisked Mimiru off to.

"I must admit, it is a little…iffy." Quatre said, looking slightly repulsed, "…but everyone deals with anger and sadness differently. Wufei has martial arts, I have fencing, Heero his computer, Trowa practices his acrobatics, Duo toys around with explosives…"

"**Hey**, that was only **_one_ time!**" Duo cried, "My outlet is manga, thank you very much. But, I guess you have a point. Maybe this is just her way of coping."

"If it is, it's certainly isn't the best one." Trowa muttered, "Her dancing would be a far better way for her to vent…and do less brain and liver damage while she's at it."

"…did you just crack a joke?" Heero asked, the barest traces of a smile on his lips, "God, you have the darkest sense of humor."

"This coming from you, Robot Boy?" Duo quipped, devil-may-care grin on his face, quickly shifting into an expression of joy upon spotting a Page.

"Excuse me, bud." He asked, "You wouldn't of happened to see Ze-I mean Milliardo Peacecraft and a fifteen year old girl come down this way, would ya?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." The boy said, scratching the back of his head, "Peacecraft showed the girl to the Private Mess Hall and then went on his way sometime ago. 'm not entirely sure about the girl tho'. She's probably still in there."

There was a group wide glance before all five pilots took off like a shot for the Private Mess Hall, Wufei, fumbling with his keycard and Quatre struggling behind him to punch in the access code before all five tumbled inside.

* * *

The sight that met there eyes was several round wooden tables covered in white table cloths with Mimiru seated by herself in one hidden in a far corner, bottle of bourbon in one hand, a glass full of ice in the other; 

She stared at the amber liquid in the glass, a drunken, glassy glaze on her eyes and an inebriated flush to her face.

Oh yeah, Mimiru may have only gotten started half an hour ago, but she was well on her way to being drunk off her ass.

"Oh **_reeeeeeeeeeal_** attractive." Duo muttered, as all five boys strode over and Heero confiscated the liquor bottle from her hands.

"Y' shouldn't be here." Mimiru said, her words running together slightly, "My luck'll ruboff on ya."

"What on earth do you mean by that?" Quatre asked, as the drunken girl turned her glassy eyes on him, "Please, just let us-!"

"**No.**" Mimiru said frustratedly, running her fingers roughly through her hair, destroying hours of work (sorry Mr. Stylist), "Y-you can't come near me…right now, kay?"

"And why is that, woman?" Wufei asked in that oh-so-famous-misogynistic way of his, folding his arms and tapping his foot impatiently.

"C-cuz I wanna cry…an' I can't do it while yer all here lookin' at me like that." Mimiru replied sloppily.

"Looking at you like what?" Trowa asked, quirking his eyebrow, "Where do you want us t' look?"

"L-look o'er there." Mimiru replied vaguely, pointing towards th' door, "'r leave. I'd really like it if y'd just leave m' lone fer a few min-"

"Nuh-uh." Duo tsked, waggling his index finger at her, "Why can't you cry in front of us? Why's it so bad?"

"Yes, enlighten us." Heero asked crisply, having tossed the bourbon bottle in a nearby garbage can.

"Cuz I haven't cried since Mommy got killed." Mimiru slurred, bringing her face to rest on the table, "And I know it's gonna hurt. I dun' like it when people see me hurt…makesh me feel like 'm weak."

Duo brought his face up close to his charges, so they were nose to nose and he could smell the liquor on her breath.

"How bout this?" he suggested, "I take you back to your room, you cry yourself out, then we can actually talk when you're sober about better ways of dealing with this kind of crap. Deal?"

Mimiru stared back at him blankly, before nodding sluggishly.

"Okay then." He said cheerfully, moving away to pick her up bridal style, "Allez-oop!"

* * *

_-An Hour Later-_

"**_Hooooooo_** boy." Duo said, switching off his sodden shirt, "Can that girl ever cry. She must not have been kiddin' about not cryin' for that long, cuz she had to be storin' those things up somewhere."

"That bad, huh?" Quatre asked sympathetically, holding up a dry tank top, "I would've gone in your place you know-"

"-but then I would've had to put up with Noin's bitching." Duo said tugging it over his head and pulling his braid through.

"You know what she says, your assignment, your problem." Wufei shugged, "So, she say anything of value?"

"No, not really." Duo replied, "Just how all this shit was her fault, how it would've been better if she'd died when she was six. Blahblahblah. I did get to see that scar Rousseau was looking for, though."

"Really?" Trowa asked, looking up from his book, "How well concealed was it?"

"Very." Duo smirked, "I mean, I saw before when we were at her chiropractor, but she said she had taken a bad fall, so I didn't make anything of it at the time."

"So, from what Noin's gathered from the doctors, it's a microchip." Heero said, eyes glued tothe screen ofhis laptop, "It contains coordinates, access codes, and schematics of an underground weapons manufacturing plant."

"But how and when did they hide that thing in Mimiru?" Quatre asked, a frown creasing his face, "Why her? Why not her mother?"

"Hey, they don't call them the Mad Doctors for nothing." Duo grinned.

"I assume they thought the mother would be the first one they would search and that a child would draw less suspicion." Trowa mused, "She was only five at the time."

"But…a five year old?" Wufei asked, looking skeptical, "Why would they perform such risky surgery on a child just to hide that microchip? Why not destroy it?"

"Helloooo? What part of "Mad" aren't you getting?" Duo asked, "Destroyingthe chipwould take away another thrill from their lives. 'sides,they probably thought it would be fun to see if they could do it, and if it did, well ta-da! Perfect hiding place!"

"After all, the best hiding places are with ones who don't know have anything to conceal." Heero nodded.

* * *

(A/N: Okay, angsty-depressing crap-chap over! EVERYBODY DO A DANCE! Cuz we get right back to the funny next chapter! So stay tuned! R&R!) 


	20. Mission Brief: Wake Up Calls & Oopsies!

(A/N: Here's the next chappie! It's back to the lighter side peeps! Enjoy!)

* * *

"Misaki, it's time to get up now."

"Nnnn…**_Dawsonnnn_**…I don' **wanna** go t' school t'day." The cheerleader whined into her pillow, trying to retrieve her stolen covers without lifting her head.

"Misaki? Get. Up. **Now**."

"**_Dawsonnnnn_**, yer evil." Misaki groaned piteously, refusing to lift her head, "I don' wanna! Call in sick fer me."

"Last chance, Misaki."

"Go 'way." She sighed sleepily, thinking she had won this particular battle and snuggling further into the folds of her bedding…totally unprepared for the tidal wave of frigid water engulfing her face and upper torso.

"G**LAHH!**" Misaki screeched, flying upwards with an indignant look on her face, "**_DAWSON WHAT TH-_**…oh. Heh heh heh heh heh-um, g'mornin' Wufei."

The Chinese teen stood next to her bedside, holding an empty bucket in one hand and her blankets in the other, and wearing the most condescending expression Misaki had ever seen in her life.

"Nice to see you remember my name at least." He snorted, tossing the bucket into a far corner, "You're expected to be at the Mess Hall for breakfast in five minutes."

"Well I have time to change at least." Misaki said disdainfully, flapping her hands to rid them of water, "Huh? **_Hey!_** **WAIT!**"

Wufei, who had been walking to the exit to give the girl some semblance of privacy while she changed, nearly had his face collide with the doorframe at the sheer eardrum splitting volume of her voice.

"…what **_IS_** it woman?" he cried in pure exasperation, looking ready to hit her as she leapt off the bed and grabbed on to the sleeve of his kung-fu uniform, "What is so life threatening that you have to come yea close to deafening me?"

"Just wait for me outside, kay?" Misaki begged.

"And why would I do that?" Wufei growled, patience at it's end.

"Cuz I don't know where the Mess Hall is!" Misaki replied as though this was obvious.

"…oh."

* * *

"Mitsuki-jo? Mitsuki-jo, you need to wake up now." Quatre said, giving his charge a gentle shake. 

"Nuh-whuh?" the soccer player lifted her face and blinked at him blearily, "Q? Wh-wha-**_aaaawn_**…whuh time izzit?"

It was all Quatre could do not to laugh; his charge's hair currently gave new meaning to the phrase "bed head" sticking out this way and that like it had lost a fight with a lawnmower.

"Time for breakfast." Quatre joked lightly (Mitsuki, still dumb from sleep, failed to get it), "I wouldn't have bothered you otherwise."

Mitsuki made no move to leave her bed, but didn't give any indication of being belligerent and going back to sleep either; she just kind of sat there in a daze.

"Huh…whuh time izzit again?" Mitsuki asked, apparently being rudely…okay, nicely awakened, had impaired her sleep clogged mind.

"It's seven o' five." Quatre, having the patience of a saint, replied, "You need to get up and come with me to the Mess Hall now, okay?"

"M'kay." Mitsuki nodded slowly, allowing Quatre to grab a hold of her upper arm, ease her to her feet and lead her from the room.

Halfway to the Mess Hall, Quatre realized a critical error in his plans and half led/half dragged Mitsuki back to her room to put pants on.

That's right, he had been dragging her through the hall all this time in nothing but an oversized tee and her Sweet Tarts underwear.

How could he forget something so critical? Well, you can't forget to factor in his own twenty nine female siblings. They drop the aristocratic ball and behave like any normal person would in their home…

…meaning, from time to time,his sibswalk around in a t-shirt and underwear with a bag of cookies.

* * *

Heero stalked into Michiru's room with every intention of rousing her, but was beaten to the punch by the fact that Michiru rarely slept in and was already up, dressed in the clothes provided for her by the base and typing away on her laptop. 

He stared at the back of her head for a second until her fingers froze in place over the keyboard.

Michiru's head turned around, very slowly and jerkily like a robot on it's last legs, and gave a loud shriek upon seeing just who exactly was giving her the heebies, hurling her laptop skyward.

Without any effort, Heero extended his hand and calmly caught the laptop on it's downward descent.

"**_Y-Y-Yuy-san!_**" Michiru squeaked, shuffling back into a corner and wrapping her arms defensively around her knees, "Y-you st-st-startled me."

Setting the laptop down on a nearby desk, Heero stared down his charge (unintentionally) making her grip on her knees go into the white knuckled stage.

"It is time for breakfast." He said impersonally, wondering why she was holding her knees so tightly, "I have been ordered to escort you to the Mess Hall."

"Oh…okay." Michiru replied nervously, scotching her way along the wall in order to avoid close proximity with her protector.

"_Strange girl."_ Heero thought to himself, reaching forward and grabbing his ward by the wrist, making the girl give a squeal of distress as he pulled her off the bed and towards the door.

* * *

Trowa had met up with Mikura earlier that morning (Mikura wanted to finish venting by way of Kendo practice) and so the two were already in the Mess Hall, awaiting their turn to get pancakes….while in the midst of an argument. 

And this argument was absurd, and neither was entirely sure now **HOW** the subject had come up, but both had large competitive streaks and were not going down without a fight.

"I still don't understand your logic." Mikura frowned, slapping two flapjacks onto her plate, "How can you say that? I mean…it's so…so illogical!"

Trowa scowled back, grabbing three pancakes of his own.

"It's perfectly logical." He said tersely, "It's your logic that's irrational. Tell me, when was your last CAT scan?"

"I'm telling you, Trowa, you are psychotic!" Mikura cried, setting her tray down with an angry clatter, "I mean, what normal person, besides a lactose intolerant one, hates chocolate chip cookies?"

"Anyone who hates excessive calories for one." Trowa growled, taking his seat next to her.

"Oh, so now you're a calorie counter?" Mikura asked, snickering, "Duo better watch his back. His title of 'Girly Man' is in imminent danger."

Trowa opened his mouth to say a few choice things about soccer players…but then bit the comments back because he knew if Quatre got wind of it, which he would because the girls always went to him to talk, he would have to endure the heir chewing his ear off with a lecture of how he should treat women with more decorum and respect.

So with a sigh, Trowa, cut into his pancakes and started eating, hoping Mikura would let the subject drop.

"I still think you're nuts."

Fat chance of that.

* * *

Duo strode along the hall intent on waking his charge and getting some chow so he could silence the rabid wolf that had taken up occupancy in his gut. 

Figuring that Mimiru would be laid out with a hangover, he entered the room without so much as a knock…

…only to walk in on the first daughter (in the midst of changing) in nothing but her La Perla underwear.

"**_Ueeh_**…**_eeeh_**…" Mimiru managed to squeak out, beginning to shake violently as she clutched a black tank to her chest.

"Uh…err…awhoops." Duo said, feeling the heat rush to his face as he began to slowly back track out of Mimiru's room.

"**AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**" She screamed (wow! another rare glimpse at Mimiru's feminity! QUICK! QUICK! Get the camera, Lois!), as Duo began to fumble for the switch that worked the door.

The tank was over her head and the camo pants over her thighs in record time as Mimiru grabbed Duo by the braid just as his fingers found the switch and wrenched him back into the room.

"Have you ever heard of the word, **_decency?_** Or how about **common sense?**" Mimiru spat as tears of anguish filled Pilot 2's eyes, "What the **_hell_** was going through that teeny tiny little brain of yours Maxwell?"

"**Ifiguredthatsinceyoudranksomuchyesterdayyouwouldn'tbeupyet!**" Duo squealed, "Now **_pleeeeeease_** lemme go!"

"It's called Peacecraft, Ekiyabe(1), and knocking first you social retard." Mimiru snarled, "He came over first thing, and **HE** had the courtesy to knock."

Duo had force down a feral growl that was rising in his throat at that last remark.

Instead, he gritted his teeth, and forced himself to look up at the now very pissed first daughter of the Sugino family.

"So, whaddid he want?" Duo asked, in what he hoped was a casual tone.

"…he said I was to report to the labs directly after breakfast." Mimiru said, anger draining away (can't stay angry for long) and releasing her grip on Pilot 2's hair, "Any clues as to why?"

"…_I think I know."_ Duo thought wearily, petting "his baby".

* * *

"-so you see, Mimiru-jo, it is imperative that we remove that chip as soon as possible." Doctor J finished with a flourish, looking oh-so proud of his speech. 

The Sugino's just stared at the Mad Doctors in stony silence, stared at them hard…in a way that told the older men that for once they were the ones being examined under the microscope.

"Now I remember them." Misaki scowled, looking very sulky and cattish at the moment, "They were the ones hangin' around mom at her final concert."

"Yuh-huh." Mitsuki chimed in agreement, looking equally petulant, "They kept heaping on the compliments right and left about her performance."

"And they laid'm on even thicker when they saw us." Mikura glowered, resentment flooding her face, replacing her normally tranquil expression.

"I b-b-bet they were trying to decide which one of us to use from th-the get go." Michiru said huffily, retaining her stutter while replacing her timid look with a glare (well...a glare for her which really isn't much of a glare at all)

"And after I went off by myself to find the bathrooms…comes the big freaking blank spot in my memory." Mimiru glowered, "I suppose that's when they did it."

Now the Mad Doctors were really sweating beneath the collar: Bullseye on all five counts.

Not to mention now Pilots 1-5, Dr. Sally Po and Baronette Lucrezeia Noin were all looking at them funny.

* * *

"I seem to recall Mimiru saying something about her mother taking her home because she was ill with 'the flu'." Trowa said coolly, "However, I'm beginning to suspect that it wasn't the flu at all." 

Doctor S inwardly cringed at how on target his Pilots words were and began to slink craftily towards the exit.

"Yes." Heero said dryly, "Nothing more than her five year old body having a bad reaction to whatever anesthesia they used."

Doctor J felt as though his metal prosthesis were being slowly ripped off at Heero's cold, yet perfectly accurate, statement and he followed S's lead sneaking towards the egress.

"Oh Allah." Quatre mumbled, shaking his head, bringing it to rest in his right hand, "This isjust too disgraceful Instructor H."

Instructor H felt himself being psychically stabbed at the pure hearted pilot's words of shame, and followed after J and S quietly to the exit.

"Master O…your ancestors!" Wufei said in disbelief, "How could you not think of the shame you would bring them?"

Master O, merely shook off that little remark, thinking to himself, _'yeah, but it was fun, huh?'_ and a little hyper, childish voice inside his head replied back, _'yes, yes it was'_ as he slunk after the other Doctors.

"Man, I was right on the money when I called you Pestilence(2) huh?" Duo said, shaking his head, "Whadda pain."

Professor G stroked his mustache absently, and, catching sight of his comrades ducking out without him, hurried to catch up with them.

"And they really expect her to willingly allow them to perform the same surgery on her again?" Noin asked, eyebrow quirked, "I mean, I wouldn't let them touch me after something like th-**_HEY!_ HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!**"

She slammed her closed fist down on a button which slammed the hydraulic doors shut and locked them, stopping the Mad Doctor's escape plans dead in their tracks.

* * *

"Drats." Doctor J said, sitting down huffily where he stood. 

"You have no right to complain here." Sally snorted, leaning against a control panel, "But, Noin makes a very good point. Mimiru has no reason to trust you at all."

"…maybe…" Mimiru said under her breath,appearing to be deep in thought,"Dr. Po, do you think it would be at all possible for you to be there to witness the procedure? I mean, cuz I really don't trust them worth a damn."

"Hey, it wouldn't be a problem for me." Sally shrugged, "Any objections?"

Doctor S and Master O looked as though they were about to open their mouths to say something-until all five pilots, the other four Sugino girls and Noin shot them poisonous glares, ultimately silencing them.

"Well, that's all settled." Noin said, a tiny smirk forming on her lips, "Sally, please get Mimiru-jo prepped for surgery."

"Wh-what?" Mitsuki gaped, jaw dropping.

"NOW?" Misaki cried, eyes nearly bugging out of her head.

"Your kidding right?" Mikura asked, giggling nervously.

"Oh…oh boy." Michiru whispered, a panicked edge in her voice.

"Nope, no joke." Professor G said officiously, "The sooner we remove that microchip, the safer we'll all be."

"_Not to mention this lends opportunity to examine how the casing we sheathed it in held up in human tissues."_ Doctor J thought excitedly.

"_We did choose a rather odd location now that I stop to think about it."_ Instructor H thought to himself, _"Huh…I wonder if the turn radius of the human neck had any effect at all on the compression strength of the chip casing?"_

"_So much research opportunity!"_ Master O thought wildly, mind dancing like a happy child's, _"It's all just too exciting."_

_"I can't help but wonder if the microchip has shifted locations at all."_ Doctor S thought to himself, _"…this is such a good opportunity for research on microbial implants in the human neck."_

The five men's face took on a very creepy, almost pedophilic look as they followed the first daughter and Sally from the labs.

"_I'm worried."_ Quatre thought as Mimiru was led away between the five doctors who were eyeing her like a very complex quadratics equation they had just begun work on, _"Verrrrrrrry worried."

* * *

_

(1) Ekiyabe - famous through Japan for being a hangover cure with almost instantaneous effects.

(2) Pestilence - In Gundam Wing: Episode Zero, Duosays toProfessorG, "If I'm Death, then you must be Pestilence."

* * *

(A/N: Mimiru goes in for surgery, a surprise attack at Victoria base and...a ChristmasBall thrown by none other than Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian herself? R&R)


	21. Mission Brief: Surgery Scrubs & Invites!

(A/N: I, your authoress, have big new! Well...big for me.It may be absolutely pointless drivel to you readers! Hell! Alot of people don't even read these things! But nonetheless, I shall share my happiness with the world! As of August 4, 2006, I officially have hooked up with my dream guy! **_WOOT!_** Now that I have shared with you readers my joy, **On With Da Fic!**)

* * *

"I'm not too sure about this." Wufei mumbled under his breath as he stared through the glass that separated him and the other pilots from Mimiru and the Mad Doctors. 

"Well…I'm sure they wouldn't do anything to hurt her." Quatre said uncertainly, eyes trailing after Mitsuki as she paced around the room for the umpteenth time.

"**_Intentionally_** you mean." Trowa added, picking up on the rapid rhythm of Mikura's foot drumming speedily against the floor (wow! Mambo #5! I love that song!)

"I **still **can't believe she agreed to do this." Duo said, shaking his head in disbelief and trying his best to ignore Misaki's acrylic nails digging into his arm (somebody's stressed)

Heero said nothing, but instead, tried to successfully prevent his charge from fainting…and failed the instant Michiru witnessed the hypodermic needle containing the local anesthesia breeched her sibling's skin.

"Boys, please, choose your words wisely." Sally sighed as she tied up the straps of her surgical mask, walking into the operating room in her scrubs.

* * *

"Alright then." Doctor J said, "That anesthesia has been administered. Sugino-jo? How are you feeling?" 

"…like I just had a huge freakin' needle stab me in the back of the neck." Mimiru growled, laying on her stomach, face concealed in a cushioned hole in the operating table, "What do you think, dumbass?"

"Nice to see you've retained that oh-so-sweet attitude of yours." Sally smirked, before directing her attention to Instructor H, "How long until it takes full effect?"

"Two more minutes at the most." He replied, stroking his mustache, "Then we can begin."

"Um, question?" Mimiru called, raising one hand slightly and waving it a little, "Why do I have to be awake for this again?"

"Because of the location, my dear." Doctor S said pleasantly, "It's so close to your spinal column that one false move could permanently paralyze you."

"So we need you awake so we can perform reflex tests while we attempt to remove it." Master O said contentedly, fiddling with the edge of his latex gloves.

"_Attempt?…paralysis?"_ Sally and Mimiru thought to themselves, _"Why am I suddenly very worried?"

* * *

_

"Alright Sugino-jo, can you feel this?" Doctor J asked, pressing forcefully against the skin all around the thin, one and a half inch scar.

"No." Mimiru replied truthfully, more than slightly weirded out that she was going to be conscious for this entire procedure.

"Very well then." Professor G replied, retrieving a scalpel from a nearby medical supply tray and depressing it against the nape of her neck, drawing a thin river of blood, "Making the first incision."

"_Okay, while that's very pleasant, could you please keep that little piece of info to yourself?"_ Mimiru thought to herself, mumbling irately under her breath.

"Doctor S, the retractors if you please." Instructor H said mildly, extending his hand to take the tool, "I need to widen the incision."

"…_you don't…tell a person that, you social retard!"_ Mimiru thought to herself, her inner self doing the "What The HELL Are You THINKING?" dance, while her outer self remained perfectly calm (…someone's been hangin' out with Heero when we weren't lookin')

"Clamping the main artery." Sally said, securing either half of the blood vessel in a temporary clamp to be sutured later, "How ya feeling Mimiru?"

"**_Juuuuuust_** peachy." Mimiru said dryly from her face down position, "Now, if it's not too much trouble, could we maybe move this along?"

"But of course." Master O said amiably, "Suction. Ahhh…there's the spinal column. Now-where's that little rascal hiding?"

"There it is. Oh...oh dear." Professor G murmured, "It seems to have lodged itself in her spinal cord. Well, this certainly poses a problem."

"**_Look._**" Mimiru snapped from her position on the table, at the end of her rope and starting to feel more than slightly nervous, "You **_freakin'_** idiots. **Just.** Get it. **_Out_** of me."

"But if we pull even slightly in the wrong direction-" Doctor S began, only to be cut off again.

"Let's just get this **_over_** with." Mimiru said dryly, "If you really must know, I'm so hungry, I'm getting some really twisted ideas about your hands and a bottle of jabenero sauce. So if we could just, oh I don't know, speed this up so I can get a Powerbar or some-"

"**Alright!** Alright." Doctor J cried, throwing his mechanical hands into the air, "I see your point. Now then, Doctor S? Please administer the reflex test while I take hold of the chip with the forceps."

"Um, why don't I-?" Sally started, before Doctor S waved her off dismissively (sending waves of apprehension down her spine, she knows somethin' bads about to happen) and moved forward to begin the tests.

* * *

"Alright, Sugino-jo." Doctor S said, taking her hand and tapping the palm, "Can you feel that?" 

"Yuh." Mimiru replied shortly as she heard the metallic _-klink-_ of the forceps clinching something solid.

"Very good. And this?" Doctor S asked, moving behind her and tapping the sole of her foot.

"Yeah." Mimiru drawled as Doctor J began the slow, delicate process of extracting the chip.

"And this?" Doctor S asked absently, tapping what he thought was the back of Mimiru's thigh, but was in actuality-

"**Yes! **I felt that you perverted old man!" Mimiru snapped, now drawing on every ounce of willpower she possessed to not spin around, smack him, and botch her surgery, "**_SALLY!_**"

"Okay, move aside, S." Sally sighed, pushing the older man, who was now rapid firing apologies, "I'll finish up here. Why don't you have Quatre make you a **_niiiiiiiiiice_** cup of tea, hm?"

"I think I'll go with you." Instructor H said, leading the incoherent S by the arm, "O? G? J? You can finish up here, can't you?"

"Of course." Professor G replied calmly.

"Not a problem." Master O said with a low bow.

"Mm." Doctor J said distractedly, totally focused on what he was doing.

* * *

_-A Few Hours Later-_

"I cannot **_believe_** that they were actually able to take that thing out!" Misaki cried, arms wrapped around her elder sibling's shoulders, "I mean, talk about nerve wracking."

The Sugino Quints were currently situated all about in Michiru's room: Misaki had claimed the bed, Mimiru, the floorspace in front of the bed, Michiru herself, the desk chair, Mikura stood leaning against the wall, and Mitsuki sat curled up in a corner.

"That reminds me." Mikura said, a smirk playing on her lips, "Duo asked me to pass this along, Misa. He said to be sure to tell you, 'Clip your talons.'"

"Hee hee." Mitsuki giggled as Misaki's face broke into a pout, "By th' way, Michi, how's the head? You hit the floor **_preeeeeeeeeeeeetty_** hard."

"I-it's okay." Michiru said shamefacedly, "It looked w-w-worse than it was. Really. So, M-mimi, since we're on the topic, how's y-y-your neck?"

"Ugh." Mimiru grumbled, touching the bandages wrapped around her neck, "This thing itches like a bitch."

"Well, if you scratch it, I'll kill you myself." An annoyed male voice growled above her, "I am Shinigami after all, so it's my right."

"Hey Duo." Mitsuki smiled as Misaki leapt to her feet and stormed over to him, looking ready for a long winded argument.

"'Clip my talons', huh?" she snapped, eyes flashing, lips twisting into a frown.

"Yeah." Duo scowled, shoving his bicep, now covered in deep, drying fingernail track marks, "Clip'em."

"Oh." Misaki said in a rather surprised voice, looking scandalized.

* * *

"Any reason why you're here, Maxwell?" Mimiru asked dryly, not bothering to look up at him. 

"…are you ever gonna call me by name?" Duo asked, truly annoyed that she was the only one of her siblings to show any sort of detachment by addressing him like Mimiru herself was a military official.

"Would it give you any sort of satisfaction?" Mimiru retorted.

"…yes?" Duo responded.

"Then no." Mimiru replied, causing achildish glower to spread over Pilot 2's face, "Now, what do you want?"

"To deliver this." Duo said shortly, placing a thin envelope atop the eldest quint's head, "It's from the Vice Foreign-I mean, it's from Relena."

"Nn?" Mikura snatching the envelope from her sister's skull and ripping it open, "It's an invite! To Lena-chan's Christmas Party."

Misaki let loose a squeal of delight and began jumping up and down like a bunny rabbit on crack.

The barest hints of a smile appeared on Michiru's lips and she began staring at her hands and blushing furiously.

Mitsuki smirked deviously, tapped her chin, as though plotting something wicked then began pacing around the room.

Mikura, sighing ever so slightly, nodded as she skimmed the date and times before passing along to Mimiru.

Mimiru let loose a loud annoyed groan and allowed her face to fall into her hands, not even trying to conceal her displeasure.

* * *

"What ever is the matter?" Quatre asked, popping his head into the room. 

"This." Misaki grinned, waving the letter to and fro, "The invite to Lena-chan's Christmas Party."

"Oh, yes." Quatre said, smiling pleasantly, "It's supposed to be quite the to do."

"Quit rubbin' it in, damn it." Mimiru mumbled listlessly, letting loose another noisy groan that drew Trowa, Wufei and Heero from the next room.

"Who let Duo watch **_MAD_tv** again?" Heero muttered, Haskell .45 Auto Pistol drawn and ready to fire (O.o;; ...I'm not even gonna ask)

"**N-n-nobody.**" Michiru stammered, pressing herself against the wall furthest wall from him.

"Mimi's just pissed cuz Lena-chan's throwin' a Christmas Party." Mikura snorted, shaking her head.

"Why does something so trivial bother you?" Wufei asked, looking slightly surprised, as she had thus far proven to be the most stable, and in his personal opinion, the most normal out of all her sisters (minus the whole drinking thing)

"Because number one, I don't like crowds." Mimiru ticked of on her fingers, not lifting her head, "And number two, I hate dresses with a fiery passion."

"…this coming from you?" Trowa asked, looking like he was ready to burst out laughing, "A dancer? Who hates dresses?"

"Hey, if were up to me, I would go out on stage in my sweats and/or leotard." Mimiru said derisively, "But it's not up to me now is it? So I just grit my teeth, bear it, then take great pleasure in burning the dress afterwards."

"She's kidding right?" Duo asked looking to Mikura for help, but got none when the girl merely shook her head at him and smiled sheepishly, "I don't believe this."

"You'll notice there's no trace of the costume she was going to wear in Venice." Misaki said pointedly, grinning ear to ear.

"True enough." Heero muttered, sitting on the edge of the desk, "I wondered what happened to that thing. But how did you burn-"

"Wait!" Duo cried, holding his hand up to stop Mimiru's comment, "Before you even say it…Peacecraft. Am I right?"

"No." She said, lips twisting into a superior smirk, "Noin."

"Damn." he growled, leaning forward on his hands, "And I was so sure."

"Nonetheless, you will be attending the affair, correct?" Trowa asked, drawing attention away from Duo's pouting.

"Well it is in good manners…" Mitsuki trailed off.

"A-and it is Lena-chan…" Michiru added.

"And it is Christmas…" Misaki tacked on.

"And we would be representing our family…" Mikura included.

All four girls and all five boys looked at Mimiru pointedly.

"**_Alright already! _**I'll wear the stupid dress." Mimiru grumped, crossing her arms huffily.

* * *

The Mad Doctors inspected the microchip carefully, to see if it was at all salvageable. 

In fact, they probably would have hidden the chip away in another unsuspecting victim if Noin hadn't come along.

"Just **WHAT** do you think you are doing?" she snarled, startling them out of their gills, "You were supposed to destroy that the moment it was removed from Sugino Mimiru!"

"But Lady Noin!" Professor G pleaded, "Think of the research opportunities! The information that would be lost!"

"Oh, I'll do it myself!" Noin snapped, snatching it up, "Say your final farewells gentlemen."

And without pausing to let them get a word in edgewise, she dropped it on the floor and drove her heel into it with as much force as she was capable of delivering.

"There." Noin said, lifting up her boot to survey the remains with a degree of satisfaction, "Easy as pie."

She then turned to leave, but saw a stranger standing in the doorway, looking absolutely livid.

"Bitch…" he growled, face shrouded in shadow, "…you…**_BITCH!_**"

He launched himself at her, knife drawn but was halted instantly by a single gunshot from the rear and a single gunshot from the fore.

Mouth open in an "O" of disbelief, the terrorist slid to the floor in a crumpled heap.

"You know Zechs, you don't need to babysit me twenty-four seven." Noin smirked, holstering her gun, "I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."

"I'm aware of that." Milliardo said, a tiny smile on his lips, "But I just can't help myself at times. Do forgive me."

"But of course." Noin said sardonically.

The Mad Doctors, completely forgotten in the background, were on their hands and knee around the fragments of the microchip.

"Our **RESEARCH!**" Doctor S sobbed, "We worked on this 'Chip Concealment' project for over fifteen months!"

"And she goes and destroys it in two seconds!" Instructor H blubbered.

"It isn't fair!" Master O bawled, "All that data! **_GONE!_**"

"And she just goes about her merry way!" Professor G sniffled.

"Such a cruel, cruel woman!" Doctor J wailed.

"Yes, I'm an ice queen." Noin sighed, calling for some Pages to deal with the body, "Come on Zechs."

* * *

_**AUTHORESS-SHOUTOUT-AUTHORESS-SHOUTOUT-AUTHORESS-SHOUTOUT-AUTHORESS-SHOUTOUT-**_

Okay, this is a shout out to all readers: Should I, or should I not have OC pairings in this fic? I've done a good job thus far of keeping this fic mushy-wushy-lovey-dovey-goo free, so give me your opinion on this in your reviews or in PM's. Thank you.

* * *

(A/N: It's time for Relena's Christmas Party, and tensions are running high when the Pilots and protectee's see the amount of miseltoe strung about. Not too mention, someone unexpected may drop in for a visit. R&R!)


	22. Mission Brief: Party Night

(A/N: I'm back. Very depressed at the moment, but, no matter. I hope you enjjoy this next chappie.)

* * *

"Are you ready yet?" Wufei said tersely into the intercom, his foot, encased in freshly shined black dress shoes, tapping impatiently, "We're going to be late you know." 

"Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch." Came Mitsuki's swift retort over the speaker, making Wufei growl in disgust, "We're goin' as fast as we can, Wufei."

"Well, hurry faster." Duo snorted, pushing the Chinese Tux-ed Out teen aside slight to vent his aggravation into the intercom.

"You try running around in a pair of heels while trying to zip up one of these bitches, Maxwell. Then we'll talk." Mimiru retorted sardonically.

It was the evening of Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian's Christmas Ball and while they were still on schedule, they were pressing things a tad.

And Heero and Wufei, our loveable, anal retentive cuddlebugs (don't shoot me!), were getting more than a little bit antsy at the thought of being even a few minutes late.

And their tension swiftly effected the other Pilots, who also began to stress out as a result.

Loud clunking sounding over the intercom as high heels connected in rapid succession with the metal floor.

The door's hydraulic system flew into action as it flew open and all five girls exited the room quickly.

* * *

"**_Finally!_**" Wufei snapped, whirling around to chew his ward out…only to have the words catch in his throat at what she was wearing. 

A red, Chinese, perfect silk backless cheongsam that fell to her ankles, the kind reserved for nobility. Hand embroidered with beads and flowers to symbolize luck and wealth. A red wrap made of the same silk with the same embroidery completed the outfit.

Noting the astonished look, Misaki grinned like a Cheshire cat and twirled around in a complete circle.

"Thought you'd appreciate it!" she said, smiling happily, "I got to thinking, 'Hmm…Chinese bodyguard so, what could fit better than a-"

"-Chinese dress?" he finished with an exasperated sigh, "I swear, I shall never begin to understand how your mind works. Not that I would ever want to."

"Wufei, don't be harsh." Quatre said gently, coming up behind Pilot 5 in his own black tuxedo.

Catching sight of Mitsuki, the blonde Arab did a double take, looking momentarily surprised, but quickly exchanged the expression for a warm smile.

"You look lovely tonight, Sugino-jo." He said pleasantly.

"You don't need to look so surprised ya know." Mitsuki grumbled, having caught the look.

And she did clean up nicely. Mitsuki wore a strapless, cobalt blue evening gown with bodice top. The skirt was made of tiers of blue chiffon over layers of cobalt satin, so it was very floaty, princessy and very out of character for the tomboy.

* * *

"Are they ready yet?" Heero asked impatiently as he stepped out from the room next door, also dressed in his dress duds and looking good…but also very stressed. 

"Y-y-yes, Y-yuy-san." Michiru stammered, staring at the floor directly in front of his feet, cheeks bright red from discomfort, "I ap-pologize for t-t-taking so long."

Heero regarded her for a moment critically, as though scrutinizing to find anything wrong or out of place, which served to make Michiru's uneasy red flush grow that much more before he nodded in approval.

Michiru's gown was an Italian Cherlone (the designer's name) that was a lovely dark green. It was an off shoulder style evening dress with sequins and glittering materials placed on the front and a long skirt that puddled on the ground.

"Well, **we're** ready to go." Mikura harrumphed, arms crossed over her front, "So…where's Trowa?"

"In the can." Duo said, nodding appreciatively at the kendo star's choice of dress as she stalked off to the loo to collect her bodyguard, her high heels clicking in such a way that it revealed her disquiet.

Billows of soft white satin spilled to the floor from her hourglass gown that exposed Mikura's lean shoulders. A taupe satin ribbon grasped the gown at the knee with a coordinating taupe satin ribbon choker completed the ensemble.

* * *

"Well this evening is off to a fan-fucking-tastic start." Mimiru snorted from the very rear of the pack, totally hidden from view by her siblings, "Can we go now?" 

"Yes, Sugino-jo." Trowa said, looking mildly shamefaced as he was dragged along by his charge, "And please watch your language once we arrive, please. Remember that you are representing your family."

"Yes, **_mother._**" The quints said as one, all sounding very acerbic as the younger four shuffled forward, to expose Mimiru.

The first daughter wore a black, form-fitting tube dress. The sides were non-existent and in it's place was lacing that went to her hip. The dress had slits that went up to Mimiru's hips and the skirt reached her slender ankles.

"Uh, Mimi?" Duo said slowly, trying not to let the sarcastic comments he was thinking about her gown selection slip out, "About that dress-"

"Look." Mimiru said dryly, stalking past him to follow after her sisters, "I said I would wear a dress, and I did. This is as good as it's gonna get because, as I've already stated, I hate these stupid formal affairs."

"Do you think they'll even let her in wearing that thing?" Wufei muttered under his breath as he watched her march off, "I mean, it's attractive and all, but for an event like this?"

"They have too." Quatre said simply as they followed after their charges, "It's all a matter of their ancestral and monetary status. Currently in a tie for first, is Ms. Dorlian and myself. In a tie for second, the Arsov's and the Sugino's and in third, the Rousseau's and the Luwandi's."

"They will let those girls in." Trowa agreed, "They have a royal blood from the father's side and noble from the mother's. In an age past, Sugino Hatake would have ruled from behind a folding screen."

"I know **that.**" Duo scowled, "It's just…it's just…they don't **_act _**the part you know? Sorta like you Quatre. Sure you're polite an' all but-"

"Sort of a strange way to deliver a compliment don't you think?" Heero asked mildly as they walked out the limo arranged for them by, much to Duo's annoyance, Milliardo Peacecraft.

"But it's a compliment all the same. Thank you, Duo." Quatre said happily, thankful to not be compared to the super snotty _"we're-so-much-better-than-you"_ elite.

* * *

"Wufei, **why** are you **_insisting_** on wearing your hair like that?" Misaki asked, giving the Chinese teen's pony tail a tug, a small frown on her lips 

"And **what** is wrong with my hair exactly?" Wufei growled, swatting her hand away and scowling at Duo, who was currently employing every last ounce of will in his body to keep from laughing.

"Well, you wear your hair back like that everyday…well…except for the days when your crossdressing." Misaki said matter-of-factly.

That sent Duo over the edge causing him to explode in a fit of laughter, rolling on the carpeted floor of the stretch limo and drawing one of the most poisonous looks from Wufei that anyone had ever seen to date.

"She **_does_** make an interesting point." Trowa said, smirking slightly, his green eyes dancing with amusement.

"Just humor me and let your hair down for tonight, kay?" Misaki begged, joining Duo on the floor to clasp her hands together and look up at the inflexible Wufei with puppy dog eyes, "**_Pleeeeeeeease?_**"

"You behave as though the act of removing that ponytail of yours will bring physical pain." Heero said, the beginnings of a smirk on his lips.

"Not you too." Wufei groaned, lowering his face into his hand only to have a sudden weight on his knee startle him.

Misaki stared up at him, implementing one of her most deadly techniques, "The-Sad-Puppy-Face"

Wufei's face began to involuntarily twitch at the sight of it and any former antipathy he had for the female species and their cunning was amplified at least ten times.

"Give it up." Duo grinned, leaning back against Quatre's knees, too worn out from laughing to clamor onto the seats.

With a low growl of disgust, Wufei wrenched the tie securing his hair back free causing to fall untidily into his face.

"See? Now that wasn't so bad." Quatre said comfortingly as Mikura and Mitsuki set to work brushing and styling Pilot 5's hair.

"**THERE!**" They cried, giving him a thumbs up and hoplding up a mirror, "Much better!"

Wufei was a mildly surprised that they had done a good job and he didn't look half bad.

"That is **_sooo_** much better!" Misaki said happily, admiring her sister's work, "Wearing your hair back that tight causes oily patches and pimples along the scalp line anyway! Wear your hair down like this more often, kay?"

"I promise nothing." Wufei said dryly, returning the mirror.

* * *

The Dorlian Mansion had been outfitted appropriately for the festivities, decked out in rows of Christmas trees tinsel and…much to everyone's horror… 

"Mistletoe?" Mikura groaned, refusing to pass under the archway that was completely engulfed in the dreaded weed, "**_Leeeeeeeeenaaaaaaaaaa!_** You're evil."

"Just get it over with." Misaki said smilingly, giving her sister a pat on the shoulder.

"But…" Trowa murmured, looking up at the mistletoe as if it was going to attack him if he took another step.

"Just give'm a quick peck on the cheek, idiot." Mimiru said from behind them.

"Yeah, there's no law that says it has to be on the lips." Mitsuki said informatively, a smirk on her lips.

The pair looked at each other as if hoping the other would have some idea of getting around this: no such luck.

"Let's just get this out of the way." Mikura muttered taking a hesitant step forward.

"Very well." Trowa nodded, following her lead.

The kiss was so brief that if you blinked you would have missed it. Just swift pecks on the cheek as Mimiru suggested and the two were in the main hall.

"Let's get this over with, woman." Wufei said irritably as he held out his arm for Misaki, inwardly plotting Relena Dorlian's untimely demise.

Misaki smiled in a slightly sympathetic way at Wufei, looping her arm with his and pulled him under the arch, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek before following after Trowa and Mikura.

Heero and Michiru were next and the poor, introverted girl was so red it looked as though she would faint again.

Deciding to take the wisest course of actions, Heero quickly kissed her on the forehead, thinking that it wouldn't bother her as much…but he was wrong and ended up carrying his charge, down for the count, into the main hall.

Mitsuki and Quatre, looking a mixture of worried and exasperated, walked under the archway next, watching as Heero lugged the unconscious computer geek off.

"Okay, let's do this." Mitsuki said finally, leaning forward to give the blonde Arab a light kiss on the tip of his nose.

Quatre released the breath he had been subconsciously holding, then clasped Mitsuki's hand and pecked it lightly with his lips, both silently doing a happy dance for loop holes as they followed the others.

* * *

Duo and Mimiru were the last ones to approach the archway, holding hands listlessly and looking completely indifferent. 

"Oh brother." Duo snickered, watching the stares Michiru and Heero drew…or should I say, Heero drew while carrying Michiru whilst everyone tried to figure out what exactly it was he did to her, "I can tell this is gonna be one helluva an evening."

"Shut up, Maxwell." Mimiru sighed tiredly, "I just wanna get this pain in the ass over with."

And with that, she grabbed his braid roughly, tugged him down to her level, gave him a brief kiss on the cheek, before releasing his hair and walking off.

"I'll be in curled up in one of the corners." She said vaguely, drawing a flask, engraved with her initials on it, out of her purse, "Come get me when it's time to go."

Duo glowered at Mimiru and snatched it from her, tossing it over a nearby balcony…where a cry of pain was heard only seconds afterward, followed by a string of loud, incensed expletives.

Coloring slightly, he returned his attention to Mimiru, who was now looking at him with a clearly vexed expression.

"No more drinking, got it?" He said, trying to sound serious through the embarrassment…and thoughts of who the hell he just nailed, "You're not legal for five more years. You're killing precious brain cells."

A smirk danced on the first daughter's lips as she turned and walked towards a table.

"Die brain cells, die." She snickered, taking a seat, crossing her legs as she went. Mimiru then turned her glance downward, gothic smirk broadening, "You're next, liver."

Duo couldn't help but laugh at that; he was Shinigami after all, and as such, appreciated good dark humor.

But all that aside, he couldn't dismiss the fact that he'd better keep closer tabs on her tonight. Hell, the alcohol was flowing like water around here. Literally. That idiot Relena had rented out a champagne fountain that was twenty five feet in diameter, so things could get really ugly, really fast…which they did seconds later.

* * *

"**Augh**…**_godamnit!_** Who threw that?" 

An incensed looking college student with, currently angry brown eyes, chocolate colored skin and shaved black hair, burst through the archway by himself, holding the flask Duo had chucked in one hand and clutching his forehead with the other.

"Semei?" Mimiru said standing up abruptly, eyes flooding with astonishment, "Is that **you?**"

The Ugandan man stopped ranting suddenly and stared down at the short, French-Japanese teen.

"Mimiru?" he asked, eyes widening in obvious surprise at the sight of the younger girl.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Mikura asked, appearing hand in hand with Trowa to keep up the ruse that they were a couple.

"That's what I wanna know." Duo said, annoyance tingeing his words.

"Hey, saw the crowd so I thought I'd join the par-hollee **_crap_** what's Semei doin' here?" Mitsuki said upon seeing the African man.

"Duo just asked that very same question." Trowa said, looking mildly amused.

"Yes, do you mind enlightening us?" Quatre asked, directing his attention to Mitsuki.

"I can tell you."

Relena, decked out in a very elaborate pale pink number and currently latched onto Heero, who looked like he was desperately searching for an escape route, appeared looking ready to dish the dirt.

"He is Semei Luwandi." The Vice Foreign Minister said in a know-it-all tone, "Mimiru's former dance partner and first boyfriend."

* * *

"What…**_whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?_**" Duo cried, gaping like a fish while Mimiru and her ex began chatting away like old friends. 

Even though he was as straight as an arrow, even Duo had to admit, this guy was hot with a capital T. Hell, if he ever decided to go play for the other team, he'd do'em in a heartbeat.

"Now you can't say Mimi has bad taste." Misaki said as she arrived on the scene, dragging Wufei along for the ride, "**_MMMM_-MM!** You could iron a **_shirt_** on that boy's stomach!"

"Like I care." Wufei muttered under his breath, a little disgusted by the way his charge was undressing the Ugandan man with her eyes, "If you don't mind, I'll go else where as ogling men isn't on my agenda."

"Oh don't be sucha tight ass, Chang." Mikura snorted, shoving a champagne glass into his hands, "Live a little, dude!"

"I wouldn't call ogling total strangers, living." Trowa said, sounding mildly amused, "However, I suppose tonight I can make an exception."

"**_Ooo!_** Who you checkin' out?" Mitsuki asked, grinning mischievously as she stood up on tip toe to see over his shoulder.

"He never stated that he was, 'checking out' anyone." Heero smirked as he forced down a snicker (he's much happier cuz Relena was dragged off by politicians), "But regardless, I suppose one night a merriment couldn't hurt."

"Of course not." Quatre said smiling before turning his attention to Duo, "Now why don't you go over an introduce yourself?"

"…don't wanna be rude." Duo said childishly, shooting annoyed looks over at his ward as she continued her conversation for a few more seconds before parting ways with Semei, flask back in hand and a refreshed look on her face.

"So how is he?" Mikura asked, pouncing the instant Mimiru rejoined the fold.

"Fantastic." She said, replacing the flask in her purse and making a face at Duo when he gave her a stern, parental scowl, "Sudati is expecting any time now."

"Whoa…wait a minute." Duo said, holding up his hands, "Expecting? You mean he's-?"

"Married? Why, yes. Yes he is." Mimiru replied, a slow gothic smirk appearing on her lips as she watched Duo's face go blank as his brain overloaded.

* * *

(A/N: The party continues and things start getting awkward. What will happen? R&R to find out!) 


	23. Mission Brief: Xmas Party & Wiffle Ball?

(A/N: HIYA! I'm back! Sorry this took so long, but I was out visiting relatives over the mountains. Anyhoo, here's the conclusion of last chappie's madness! PEACE OUT DUDES!)

* * *

Heero slipped up the stairs, having escaped Relena's clutches again by way of a group of Norwegian nobility. 

While he had left an armed guard (knows this guy from the base) outside the room he left Michiru to recover in, Heero didn't trust him (or anyone outside of himself and the other pilots) with the welfare of the Sugino girls.

Relieving the man of duty, he entered the room to check on her.

"How are you feeling, Michiru-san?" Heero asked, noting that the introverted girl was sitting up, looking a little dazed, but otherwise fine, "Better I hope."

"**GEEP!** **_Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yuy-san!_**" Michiru squealed, scooching into the far corner of the four poster bed, face redder than cranberry juice, "Ah-um-oh I-I'm f-f-fine!"

Heero frowned slightly; sure, Michiru had always been timid, but he had noticed recently her introversion had grown, if it was conceivably possible, ten times worse…especially around him…he couldn't help but wonder why (…wow…somebody's a wee bit dense)

With a small shrug to himself, he strode forward and, despite Michiru's squeaks and protests, grabbed her by the wrist and half led/half dragged her from the room.

It was only when Heero got Michiru halfway down the stairs that he noticed how red she was and knew…in his heart…that she was**_ thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis_** close to fainting again.

He couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, she had caught a cold when he wasn't looking and so, proceeded to check her temperature by pressing his forehead against hers…sending her spiraling into unconsciousness again.

_"How very odd."_ He mused, beginning to turn around to take her back upstairs.

"**WHOA!** Hee-chan! Hold up!" Mitsuki cried, dashing up the stairs to stop him, "It's okay! Just take her down to our table and Miku will wake her up."

"And how will she do that?" Heero asked crisply, shifting his charge slightly so she wouldn't fall down the stairs.

"Ancient Chinese secre-oops! Better not say that! Wufei might** maaad!**" Mitsuki smirked as she strode down the stairs Heero right behind her.

* * *

Trowa had to admit he was having fun, and that this party wasn't going in the least bit the way he expected. 

The nobles and aristocrats whom he expected to be snobbish and condescending like the upper class who had attended his circus performances, turned out to be perfectly nice, humorous, laid back people like Quatre.

He and Mikura were currently deep in conversation with an Egyptian aristocrat named Keket and her brother Hamadi, who were some of the funniest people he had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

"-so then, despite all our warnings, he trips over the saddle anyway." Hamadi sighed dramatically, twisting his sun bronzed face into a smirk.

"And falls face first in camel dung in front of over twenty four dignitaries." Keket said shaking her pretty head sardonically.

"Oh your poor father!" Mikura snickered, not even trying to restrain her laughter.

"How long did it take him to get the taste out of his mouth I wonder?" Trowa murmured, a smirk dancing across his lips.

"Oh this happened not a week ago." Hamadi said with a laugh, his dark eyes dancing, "So I suspect it is still quite fresh!"

"Our poor mother still refuses to show her face in public." Keket snorted, lips curving up at the corners in a sadistic smirk.

"Ooo, somebody's ego is showing." Mikura remarked as she noted Mitsuki and Heero trotting their way with a cataleptic Michiru slung over Heero's shoulder.

"Well what's all this, then?" Trowa asked mildly, watching with a growing degree of interest as Heero hefted the unconscious girl off his shoulder and held her up in front of Mikura.

"Would you?" Mitsuki asked, hurrying off after she spotted Quatre being mobbed by a horde of noblewomen.

"Not a prob." Mikura nodded, bending over and whispering something into the computer savvy quint's ear that made her eyes fly open and a scream tear from her mouth.

After clamping his hand over her mouth, successfully silencing her terrified shriek, Heero, face tinged a pale pink from embarrassment (the entire room was staring at him now) whirled around to face a grinning Mikura and smirking Trowa.

"What…did you **_TELL_** her?" he hissed, eyes flashing with blinding fury.

"That her lab was going nuclear." Mikura responded, smile broadening as Keket and Hamadi lost it.

* * *

"L-ladies, please don't crowd." Quatre begged, ever the gentleman even as he was pressed against a wall by the throng of aristocratic women. 

"Please Mister Winner, you simply **MUST** dance with my daughter!" an older Russian aristocrat said insistently, grabbing a hold of his left arm.

"Non, **_non!_** Monsieur Winner shall dance with **me!**" a Parisian noble snapped, tugging persistently at his right hand.

"Why would Mister Winner want to dance with**_ you?_**" an English courtier growled, hands on her hips, "**I'm** the obvious choice he-"

"Nein **_ME!_**" a German heiress screeched indignantly, stamping her high-heeled foot stubbornly on the marble floor.

_"Oh dear, what predicament."_ Quatre thought, closing his eyes and shrinking further into the corner, _"This is why I usually avoid these affairs. Elder aristocrats trying to force their daughter's on me, endless dancing whether I'm tired or not-Oh Allah, help me."_

Quatre then felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around his shoulders and, dread surging through his system, said arms pulled him away from his corner with a great degree of force.

"Hey, sorry to burst your individually packaged bubbles ladies, but he's taken."

Recognizing the voice at once, Quatre's eyes snapped open to see that Mitsuki had braved the bloodthirsty horde to come to his rescue and was now hauling him away from the mob of disgruntled noblewomen.

"Thank you so much." He sighed, tears of happiness springing into his eyes now that he had been freed of the unbelievably confined space (it made his Gundam cockpit look roomy)

"Not a prob." Mitsuki smirked, "You're a Winner. I expect that every aristocrat within a ten thousand mile radius wants to sink their claws into you."

"Does that include you?" Quatre asked warily, eyeing his charge carefully.

"Mm…dunno." Mitsuki said innocently with a small shrug, "I'm still not entirely sure how I feel aboutcha."

"Abuh?" Quatre asked with a start, whirling around to face her, eye wide as saucers, "Whuh-what did you just-?"

"**_Pfffffft!_** Ha ha ha!" Mitsuki giggled, turning away from the Arab to laugh, "Ohmigod! You're just too cute! Q, never change, okay?"

* * *

Wufei and Duo were thoroughly vexed with their wards; not only were they completely disregarding the current situation and distancing themselves from their appointed bodyguards, but both girls could very chatty when they wanted to be and Pilot's 2 and 5 really wanted to sit down. 

"God, how long have they been flapping their gums?" Wufei muttered under his breath, looking like he might pass out from sheer boredom.

"Fifteen minutes and counting." Duo moaned, eyes flitting over to a chair not five feet away that now seemed to be mocking him and his fate.

"How do they do it?" Wufei grumbled bitterly, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, "Prattle on and on and on about useless drivel?"

"It's a skill." Duo sighed, trying to block out the chair's sadistic taunting, "Not a very practical one I mean, as it causes undo suffering to the ones around them, but still a skill."

"What's not practical?" Misaki asked huffily, her hands on her hips and a childish scowl on her face.

"Useless drivel, huh?" Mimiru asked offhandedly, taking a sip of what appeared to be water.

"Done?" Wufei asked, his misogynistic attitude slipping a bit as hope leaked into his voice.

"Yeah, we're done." Misaki said crossly, very put off by his attitude, "Come on, Wiffle Ball. Let's go back to the table now."

"**Pfffffffft!** **_Wiffle Ball?_**" Duo snorted as he followed after the pair, now bickering over Wufei's new nickname, Mimiru trailing behind him idly.

"Man, this party is **dead**." Mimiru stated blandly as they reached the table and took their seats, "Nobody's dancing, the music is dull…all that's left to do is talk."

"So we've noticed." Wufei replied sardonically, momentarily pulling out of his argument with Misaki.

"And what's **_THAT_** sposda mean, Wiffle Ball?" Misaki snapped, dragging Wufei right back into the fight.

"I swear to God, woman, if you call me by that infernal connotation again, I will kill you." Wufei growled menacingly.

"But Wiffle Ball, by doing that, you botch the entire mission." Duo snickered, thoroughly enjoying this as he took a hold of Mimiru's glass for a drink (big mistake, lazy boy)

"So really, your threat is completely empt-**MAXWELL_ DON'T!_ _THAT'S-!_**" Mimiru cried as Duo took a long swig from her glass, "-one…hundred…proof…vodka."

The braided pilot's eyes went wide as he felt his mouth and throat begin to burn from the powerful alcohol that his charge had smuggled in via her personal flask and despite all odds, he swallowed it all.

"Uh…oh.." Duo whispered as he felt a strange warmth flood his body.

* * *

"I-is he g-g-gonna be a-right?" (Michi) 

"He will be fine, or a suitable replacement will be trained." (Hee)

"Sheesh, I thought teachin' you guys how t' hold liquor would be an essential part of your-" (Mitsu)

"And why would you assume something so foolish, woman?" (Wu)

"Hey, it's just a question, Wiffle Ball." (Misa)

"Wiffle Ball? Pardon me?" (Qua)

"He walked right into that one didn't he?" (Miku)

"…I assume there's a story behind this." (Tro)

"Naturally. I just hope this guy wakes up soon; my legs are falling asleep." (Mimi)

Duo opened his cobalt eyes blearily to see nine sets of various shapes and colors staring down at him.

"Well, well, well. Good morning merry sunshine." Mitsuki smirked as he turned his eye on her dully, "At least you learned to never steal Mimi's drink again."

"Mitsu, that's just mean." Misaki said scoldingly, trying to repress her snickers, "Funny, yes. But still-oh who'm I kiddin'? **_HAHAHAHAHA!_**"

"Like you guys're helping to improve the situation." Mikura snorted, "I don't exactly see you leaping up to help."

"G-guys…don't st-st-start fighting." Michiru begged, "Things are b-bad enough as it i-i-is."

After trying to follow this abstract conversation with his inebriated mind, he quickly gave up.

"…where am I?" Duo asked vaguely, staring at the red carpeted sky for help.

"In my lap. Now get off. You're heavy." Mimiru grunted as she pushed him off her and onto the floor, "Their theory was, it was my fault, so I had to sacrifice my thighs. Beh. Some logic."

"It was your fault." Wufei growled from his seat in the limo, waving the pilfered flask in front of her nose, "You shouldn't be drinking in the first place! You're a minor!"

"No, It's Maxwell's fault for taking my glass instead of getting off his lazyass to get his own." Mimiru retorted.

"She has a point." Heero said mildly, "But that still doesn't excuse the underaged drinking. That stops tonight."

"You people are sadists aren't you?" Mimiru said dully, stating it more as a fact rather than an actual question.

"You may view it however you wish, but this is for your own good." Trowa said calmly as he dumped the contents of the flask out the window.

"Bastard." Mimiru mumbled under her breath, drawing her knees into her chest.

"Sugino-jo, things will be a lot better without it, you'll see." Quatre said reassuringly.

"Says you." she mumbled into her kneecaps.

* * *

"Christmas time! Christmas time! Lalala! Christmas time!" Misaki sang, forcing a pair of felt reindeer antlers onto Wufei's head as she passed. 

"You are such an irritating woman." He growled, ripping them off his head, "What on earth has you in such a nauseatingly energetic mood?"

"Isn't it obvious, Wiffle Ball?" Mikura replied, smirking at Wufei's disenchanted scowl as she passed wearing a Santa hat, "Think about it. We just went to a X-mas party."

"Which means that Christmas isn't too far around the corner." Quatre smiled, striding past with a box of decorations in his arms, "And that I have a **LOT** of shopping to do."

(A/N: Their decorating the Preventer's base!)

"**_Riiiight_**, right!" Mitsuki nodded, angel halo bobbing with her head, "I keep forgetting about those twenty nine sisters you have. Not to mention your extended family must be huge."

"He has his work cut out for him." Trowa said amicably with a nod, a pair of fake elf ears over his own, "Which reminds me, I need to think about what to get Catherine."

"Y-y-your g-girlfriend?" Michiru asked tentatively, standing on a ladder while stringing up a garland strand, trying her best not to look down as she knocked a wreath of the wall with her elbow.

"No. His caretaker." Heero replied, not even blinking as the fallenwreath landed square on his head as he continued to support he ladder on which his charge stood.

"Aahh, the pieces begin to fall into place." Mimiru said dryly, (she's wearing a Santa outfit tailored for a woman), "But the real question is this: what are we going to call Chang when Wiffle Ball grows stale?"

"An excellent question." Duo smiled, the tinsel in his hair glinting as he strung another piece of popcorn, "I thought for sure you were gonna ask when you were gonna get your own shopping done."

"All in due time, Duo." Misaki grinned, tweaking her earmuffs slightly, "Now let's see…Wu-wu? Wu-pii? Wuffers? Tammy Fei? Fei-fei? Wafers? Waffles? **_Naaaaah_**, so far I'm still likin' Wiffle Ball."

"…you…are infuriating." Wufei growled, snapping the faux antlers in his hand in half, "Of all the ludicr-I mean, Waffles?"

"Never you fear Wiffle Ball." Mikura smiled, now standing on Trowa's shouldersas she strungdecorations from the ceiling, "We'll think of something."

"You should have kept your mouth shut, Wufei." Heero said, looking mildly amused as he handed up another decoration to Michiru.

"Yuh-huh." Mitsuki snickered, digging through the decoration box with Quatre, "Then this whole Wiffle Ball business woulda just blown over."

Quatre knew deep in his heart that poking at Wufei right now was wrong, but for some reason couldn't bring himself to stop everyone and settled on sifting through the decoration with a barely visible smirk on his face.

* * *

(A/N: THE HORROR! The Pilots learn the horrors of X-mas shopping on...DUN-DUN-DUN: Black Friday! AKA The Blitz as Wal-Mart Employees have come to know it! R&R Peeps! I'm out!) 


	24. Mission Brief: Black Friday

(A/N: Hey, hey, hey! Wuzzup? Tis I, your oh, so fabulous authoress, Shinigami! I'm so happy that people are enjoying my fics! It really brings me such a feeling of happiness that I can't really put into words! I love you all. And now, That being said, ONWARD AND UPWARD PEEPS!)

* * *

"**_WAKEY WAKEY TIME FEI-FEI!_**" Misaki bellowed, dumping a bucket of mop water that she pilfered from the janitor the day before over the pilot in questions head. 

"**WHAT TH' _HELL?_**" the Chinese teen sputtered, spitting out a mouthful of putrid water, "Misaki…you wretched **woman!** **WHAT _IS_ YOUR _DAMAGE?_**"

"It's time to get ready!" Misaki giggled, prancing out of the room while paying completely no attention to her protector's rage.

"Up and at'em Q-ball!" Mitsuki said cheerfully, ripping the blankets off the blonde Arab's bed and sending the poor boy tumbling onto the floor in a heap.

"Nnn…Mitsuki?" Quatre mumbled sleepily from his spot on the floor, "Wuz goin' on? 're we under attack?"

"Nope!" Mitsuki smiled, ruffling his hair and tossing him some clothes from his closet, "Time to get up."

"S-s-s-sorry 'bout this Y-Y-Y-Yuy-san." Michiru squeaked from the doorjamb of her bodyguard's bedroom as she typed Ctrl+F+N+A into her computer causing the Perfect Soldier's bed to explode beneath him (she planted some homemade bombs)

Heero sat up amid the rubble, smoking slightly, a little singed, but otherwise fine, and stared up at his charged with a mildly annoyed glint in his eyes.

"Ah-um-ah-**eep.**" Michiru stammered, using the doorframe as a shield, "W-w-w-w-we have t-t-to get ready t-t-to go, Y-Y-Y-Yuy-san."

Mikura just stood over her guard's bed, a wicked smirk on her face and a song in her heart…as she shoved a hamster, "borrowed" from Noin, down Trowa's pants drawing one of the most beautiful screams she had ever heard (…I had no idea he could get that loud)

Quickly fishing the rodent out, Trowa shot a glare up at his smirking charge, face tinged slightly from embarrassment.

"Get ready, boy-a." Mikura snickered, turning to leave and give him some privacy, "We're leaving soon. Oh, and Noin'll be wantin' Mr. Nibbles back."

Mimiru used a similar approach, but it involved a much larger animal, no "borrowing", and no stuffing of said animal down a poor, half conscious person's pajama pants.

Duo, sensing in his sleep that something wasn't Kosher, opened his eyes to find himself gazing at the wickedly sharp fangs of Jasmine the lioness.

"I see you're awake." Mimiru smirked as the aging big cat hopped off him, "Good."

"…you're still mad about the whole, we won't let you drink thing aren't you?" Duo muttered as he stumbled out of bed.

"Ho yeah." Mimiru replied shortly as she made to exit the room with her pet, "Get dressed. We're leaving in fifteen minutes."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the Sugino's had pushed and shoved the G-Boys into one of the combat ready SUV's with Sally behind the wheel and Noin in the passenger seat, both looking ready to ride into battle. 

Which made the boys stop and wonder…what the hell was goin' on?"

"Alright, I got in touch with Tatsumi Yuuka from Michael's Art's and Crafts." Misaki said energetically, closing her cell phone with a snap, "We now have sale item site confirmation!"

"Excellent." Mitsuki nodded approvingly, turning to Michiru, "Michi, d'ya have the schematics ready to go yet?"

"Y-yes." Michiru nodded, plugging her laptop into an overhead projector outlet hanging from the SUV's roof, "Misa, g-go ahead."

"Alrighty." She said grabbing a metal dowel of the floor of the vehicle to use as a pointer, "The sale item locations are in the Macy's Jewelry Department, Toys R' Us, the clothing department of every store, the sporting goods section of Sears, the home and garden section of Lowes and various other locations around the mall."

"God bless you. Yuu-chan." Mikura sighed, a small tear running down her cheek, "You risked your **_neck_** to divulge this priceless information!"

"Alright, we need to decide **who** pair up with whom and **where** to meet up." Mimiru said, approaching the overhead screen.

"Howabout we meet in electronics?" Mitsuki grinned; she spent hours back there when she ran out of yen for the games at the arcade.

"**_NO!_**" all four of her sisters barked, making the soccer player plaster herself against the metallic wall.

"Stay away from the electronics department at **_all costs!_**" Misaki cried, eyes wide.

"Do you not remember spending last Christmas in a leg cast all because you wanted a Playstation 2?" Mimiru asked witheringly.

"Y-you almost missed Soccer trials b-because of P.T." Michiru added, looking rather severe…for her.

"Oh yeaaah." Mitsuki said slowly, a sheepish grin forming on her face, "Heh heh…oops."

"No, we'll meet up in the Feminine Hygiene aisles of Target." Mikura said shrewdly, "Those aisles were emptier than a Phil Collins concert hall last year."

"Excuse me, not to interrupt…" Quatre said tentatively, "But would you mind explaining to me why you woke us all up at two in the morning?"

"And what all this strategic planning's for?" Duo yawned, looking as though he was ready to fall back asleep, "It's only shopping."

"We already said we would take you." Wufei growled irascibly, "So I think we deserve to know why in all seven hells you woke us at this ungodly hour."

"It is rather unusual for the five of you to be waking the five of us." Trowa muttered, "Instead of it being the other way around."

"An explanation is warranted." Heero said coolly, folding his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes.

* * *

The Sugino Girls exchanged exasperated looks, shook their heads then looked back at their bodyguards with annoyance etched over their faces. 

"Well it's your own fault for waiting until Black Friday to take us Christmas Shopping" Misaki snorted.

"That's right." her sisters chimed in agreement (waaaaaaah! the freaky quint thing returns!)

"Black Friday?" Quatre asked, blinking at her, "Do you mind explaining…what exactly Black Friday is?"

The girls faces went blank, then filled with a mixture of horror and sympathy.

"Oh god." Mitsuki moaned, letting her head rap against the metallic wall of the van, "We're takin' **NOOBS** to The Blitz?"

"This is not good." Mikura muttered, "Really not good. They could get hurt, or killed. How can they protect us if they're dead?"

"Oh you poor dears." Michiru said, wide eyed and not stuttering once from shock, "I bet it's because Quatre has someone do his shopping for him and everyone else was raised in the military." (it's rare, but she has her lucid moments)

"This doesn't change anything." Misaki said, waving her hand dismissively, "We'll just hafta be a little more careful than usual, that's all."

"Agreed." Mimiru nodded, "Despite this…**_minor_** setback, were moving forward as planned. It's time to break up into teams. Sally, Noin, you do the honors please."

"Alright then." Noin said officiously (she and Sally are veterans of over 14 Black Fridays), "Heero, Duo, Mitsuki-you're Team A."

"Got it." Duo grinned, saluting her.

"Got it!" Mitsuki smiled, hugging her knees.

"Understood." Heero nodded with a slight inclination of his head.

"Good." Sally said from behind the wheel, "Noin, Wufei, Michiru-you'll be Team B, got that?"

"Roger." Noin smirked.

"Yes ma'am." Wufei muttered, relieved to not be paired with Misaki.

"Y-yes P-P-Po-san." Michiru stammered (awww…well it was nice while it lasted)

"Good." Noin said with an approving nod, as they approached the designated parking area: a hillside about two hundred yards from the mall, "Sally, Quatre, Mimiru-Team C, okay?

"No problems here." Mimiru said stretching slightly to get a kink out of her back.

"Okay by me." Sally said agreeably, keeping her eyes open for trees.

"Yes, of course." Quatre said with a shaky smile, unsure of what he was getting himself into.

"Which leaves Trowa, Misaki and Mikura as Team C." Sally finished, pulling the emergency brake into place and stopping the vehicle.

"Okay!" Misaki said cheerfully, giving Sally a thumbs up in the rearview mirror.

"Fine by me." Mikura said evenly, picking up her bokuto from the floor.

"Very well." Trowa nodded, wondering how he had wound up stuck with two of them.

* * *

The rear doors were opened and everyone filed out onto the grass outside for even more strategic planning. 

"Did you remember to bring-?" Sally started, but was cut short when Misaki produced some sort of object from her jacket's inside pocket and handed it to her.

"Natch!" she giggled.

Suddenly, the G-Boys recognized that object, not only by the shape, but by the faint scent it exuded. The dim, yet still unmistakable smell of cayenne peppers permeated their well trained nostrils.

"_What in God's name do they need pepper spray for?"_ They thought, unbeknownst themselves, as one, _"We're Christmas shopping for crying out loud!"_

And then there was something else that struck them as strange. Aside from Sally and Noin being decked out for war, the Sugino Girls's clothing also looked more suited for battle.

Mikura was wearing her kendo uniform, complete with chest plate, helmet and bokuto.

Mitsuki was in her soccer outfit complete with shin guards, freshly sharpened cleats and a headband that read, "No Mercy".

Misaki was (no not in her cheer uniform) dressed in Gakuran (1) with the jacket unbuttoned, her chest taped up and a plastic bat in her hand.

Michiru was in camo pants and a baggy camo jacket over a black tank she had borrowed from the base.

Mimiru dressed in a green sports bra, bluish gray shorts with a yellow stripe along the hips and cuffs, tape wrapped from the balls of her feet to just below her knees and, what appeared to be, weighted fingerless gloves.

They wouldn't have stood out if they were going to a **_street fight_**, but a **sale**? What on earth had gotten into them? Was there a terrorist plot they hadn't been informed of? A secret mission?

* * *

"Now everyone has their lists?" Noin asked holding up her own for an example. 

"**HAI!**" The Sugino Girls declared, five hands with five individual lists shooting into the air.

"Of course." Sally smirked, tossing a braid over her shoulder as she produced her own from within the folds of her Preventer's fatigues.

"Uh…yeah." the boys replied slowly, withdrawing their own lists from various locations on their bodies: Duo-in his braid, Quatre-in his shirt sleeve, Heero-in his shoe, Trowa-in his unibang, Wufei-in his shirt front.

"And everyone remembers the rendezvous point?" Mikura asked, replacing her list in its rightful place concealed beneath her chest plate.

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"**_Duo!_** Come on!" Mitsuki said exasperatedly, forcing down the urge to kick the boy in the spine with her newly honed cleats.

"Sorry!" he replied sheepishly, fingering the end of his braind and giving a little snort, "Just remind me again?"

"Feminine Hygiene aisle, Target." Heero replied automatically, as they began making their way to the mall entrance.

"Well, it's nice to know SOMEONE was listening." Mimiru said dryly as the sound of screeching tires and roaring engines sounded in the distance.

"Oh **crap**, we don't have much time!" Misaki cried, rushing forward, "_**Hurry!**_ **It's starting!**"

"Starting?" Trowa asked, looking a little bewildered as he was forced forward by, of all people, Michiru, "What's starting? What's going on?"

"L-less talking, more m-m-moving!" Michiru yelped as the doors, and the sounds of approaching cars came looming closer.

"Remember! Go for palettes! The carts wont hold nearly enough!" Mimiru commanded over the din of what sounded like an entire Naascar Super Speedway, "And keep an eye out for looters!"

* * *

They had reached the doors now and the G-Boy's could see, by peering through the glass, big squares in the middle of the walkway; the palettes. They were all covered in brown paper, and some had employees of various stores climbing on them. 

Upon closer inspection, the Pilot noticed that these employees were wearing the same expressions as the Oz and Romefeller pilots seconds before they knew they were going to meet their inevitable doom.

These sale items were like big slabs of red meat, the customers were the equivalent of half-starved pit bulls, and the poor employees were just praying they could stay out of the way when the feeding frenzy started.

"Two minutes. And counting." Noin said, glancing down at her watch, "Break into your appointed groups, now."

Wordlessly, they shifted around, pressing up against the glass so as not to lose their top position, to get into proper formation.

"Meet at the rendezvous point at ten o'clock sharp." Sally said sternly, "When the locks disengaged, don't stop for anything, even if you trample someone."

"Understood." Heero replied, legs tensed and ready to run, not really sure of what he was actually about to do, but as it appeared to be a mission in which he could be badly injured or lose his life, he would accept without hesitation.

"Beware the old lady shoppers." Mikura shuddered, "They are by **_far_** the most aggressive and ruthless. Don't go easy on them just cuz they're old."

"_Beating up an old woman?"_ Quatre thought worriedly, _"Oh…the ethical questions it raises…I don't think I can do it."_

"Women often utilize their children." Misaki warned, "Don't be lured into helping a 'lost child' or you'll find your palette about twenty pounds lighter than when ya left it."

"_This is insane."_ Wufei thought, wide eyed, _"Utterly mad. All this for Christmas shopping? After this, I'm never dealing with this ludicrous holiday again."_

"If you can, get your hands on a non-lethal weapon of some kind." Mimiru suggested, "I highly recommend a stop by Toys R' Us and Office Max. Jump ropes and rubberbands can be handy for keeping people away from your goods."

"_Note-to-self: First stop-Office Max."_ Duo thought to himself, watching as the giant clock inside the Mall ticked to forty-five seconds from go time.

"A-and above all else…w-w-watch your wallet." Michiru finished, getting into a position indicative of a track runner about to take off running, "One of th-the oldest tricks in the b-b-book is to trash a person's w-wallet so you can pick through their stuff while they're s-s-searching for it."

"Good thing I keep mine where no one can get at it." Trowa mused as the final count down began (…it's in the front of his jeans…and we're not talkin' a pocket here people; but hey, he's right about it never gettin' stolen)

"**Three, two, one-_GO!_**" Sally yelled as the doors flew opened and tsunami of human bodies surged forward. It was anyone could do to stay in their appoint groups, but they managed some how. And in the back of Pilot's mind, a little voice sang out tauntingly: _The Blitz Has Begun._

* * *

(1) Gakuran -are the uniforms for many middle school and high school boys in Japan.

* * *

(A/N: Next Chapter: The Blitz-Pt. 2! Yup, it's a two parter! I know it's evil! But, hell, I'm evil! So it all works out doncha think? R&R!) 


	25. Mission Brief: The Blitz

(A/N: Hey all! I broke the one hundred review marker! WOO-HOO! As you may, or may not have noticed, ruler funtion isn't workin' right now. So, I improvised a little. Aside from that, here's last chappie's heart-pounding conclusion! Enjoy!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Team A_

Paper ripped! People screamed! Heero and Duo caught a glance of the palette beside them. It was filled with rapidly disappearing iPod Nanos. While it wasn't an item on either pilot's list, it was on Mitsuki's so this was their first stop.

Pilot's 1 & 2 saw how the people were scrambling; this was pure, unadulterated insanity! Would they let themselves, The Perfect Soldier and The God of Death, be brought to this level? Of course not!

But, when they saw how fast those things were disappearing...

…and how many people were elbowing and shoving them out of the way...

…and stepping on their feet...

…and how many carts were ramming into their spines…

Heero saw a gap open in the maddened bargain hunters and quickly decided to make his move: he dove through the opening!

He got his hand around one of the boxes only to have it ripped from his hands by a **_10 year old boy!_** Now **that** was an insult!

Duo had, by a stroke of luck, managed to get in close to the near empty palette and, with a Devil-May-Care grin on his face, stretched an arm towards a box.

"_I think I've got-"_ he thought gleefully when…pain shot through his head! Someone, soon to be a **_DEAD_** someone, had just had the gall to pull Duo's hair! Oh, they were gonna pay for tha-!

"**OUCH!**" someone shouted from behind him, "**_Aauuhh_**, **god**…**_DAMNIT_**, **YOU FREAK!**"

Heero and Duo turned to see a poofy haired blonde doubled over and holding her shin as blood oozed from it. Dashing away from the woman pushing an emptied palette was Mitsuki, her cleats tracking a little bit of blood as she went.

Now normally, the terrorists would have tried to think up some excuse for this…but, this _wasn't_ normally…

Smirking at one another, Pilots 1 & 2 turned back to the iPod Nanos, grabbed two, then joined Mitsuki in zigzagging between crazed shoppers.

"So…what's next?" Duo asked cheerfully as they jogged along.

"Duck." Mitsuki said calmly.

"Why do we require poultry-!" Heero never got to finish his sentence because the weighted purse of an elderly shopper collided with the side of his face as she made a dive for the recently acquired iPods.

"**_Oh, no ya don't!_**" Duo yelled, snatching a fake potted plant and ramming her in the stomach with it.

"Great save!" Mitsuki cheered, "Next stop, Sporting goods!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_TEAM C_

The ocean of people was ebbing and flowing every which way. Some were moving quick, some were jammed up completely. Quatre was starting to see that this was not going to be easy.

Just then, Sally grabbed him by his bicep and started dragging him along eventually forcing him onto an empty palette…well, near empty-Mimiru was standing on it, delivering kicks to the heads of any foolish bargain hunter who dared to try and steal it from her.

She stopped the moment Quatre plowed into her, making her sit down hard as Sally began pushing the palette through a horde of shoppers toward the toys section.

Good **GOD!** Children everywhere! Quatre remembered the earlier warnings, but he couldn't possibly hurt these little darlings! The poor things were probably terrified.

Most of them were cranky, and no wonder! What kind of parent would drag these sweet innocent little angels out of bed this early, and fan them in and out of the cold, and then expose them to this kind of madness?

Just then he saw a little girl, about 4, sitting in the child seat of a cart, left unattended! She was rubbing her eyes and sniffling, and clearly about to start wailing. Quatre, now completely disregarding the earlier warning, hopped off the palette and went over to calm her down.

"Hello. What's your name?" He thought that maybe talking would work, but her lower lip began to quiver even more, "Where's your mommy?"

Quatre hoped she would answer that one, he needed to find her parents. There was no telling what could happen to a child this small in a place like this.

And when he found her mother and/or father, he planned to give them an ear full on responsibility! But, no dice. She wouldn't speak. One more try.

"Little girl, Can you tell me where your mommy is?" This time, it looked like she might respond. She opened her mouth, then, to his shock…

"**_STRAAAANGEEEERRRRRR!_**"

All eyes were on him! He started stuttering as badly as Michiru, "N-no- I was just- I, mean, I-!"

"Winner, you dumbass." Mimiru growled, getting him in a headlock and running off with him as the child's mother came dashing up from out of nowhere.

"This is why we **listen**, Winner." She growled, forcing him back on the palette, "While you were playing Good Samaritan, that kid's dad and her sibs made off with most of our goods."

"Doh't woowy." Sally said through a bloodied nose, situating items on the palette, "Ah gah'em back."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_TEAM B_

Wufei was completely absorbed in the chaos of the situation. He had endured countless combat scenarios and battle simulations…and he was pretty sure none of them included dealing with three hundred pound women crammed into size four jeans fighting their way to displays of jewelry.

He was snapped out of his daze when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Thinking it might be the introvert Michiru with a question, Wufei turned around to see...

_**-BAM-**_

…oooeeooo…purdy stars…

Wufei was sitting on the floor now, against a sapphire display case, right behind the palette. How he got there, God only knows. The event replayed in his mind. He knew there was a fist involved in there somewhere…

"Outta my way skinneh!" a rather beefed up woman snarled at him, "Yer blockin' the path!"

"_Woo…can anybody here say…psycho?"_ Wufei thought as he pulled himself up. Part of him, and you can guess which, wanted to stay and put these women in their place, but, he instead, sat back down on the palette which Noin promptly pushed away.

He scowled back at those irrational people and then glanced down at the palette. Something wasn't Kosher.

One of the radios Michiru had managed to grab at the start of this insanity was gone! The giggling of a child caught his attention. He turned in the direction the noise was coming from, and saw a boy, maybe 6, holding a Sirius radio, and laughing…_at him_!

He was about to go and demand that his property be returned, when he caught the sight of little hands out the corner of his eye.

Another child, about the same age, had reached under his knees and snagged a Nintendo DS that Noin had lost a large chunk of hair for. And after committing this act of thievery against the Shenlong Pilot, he took full advantage of his small size and disappeared into the crowd.

"_I can NOT…believe what I just saw!"_

The black haired, pony-tailed shoulder angel that had been sitting on his shoulder all morning had apparently decided that it was time for a coffee break. He got up, stretched his wings, and tagged out.

Not long after a braided mini-man with 2 red horns jutting out of his forehead and a pitchfork in his hand (yes, he equates Duo with the Devil…sad aint it?) tagged in.

Very soon, Wufei heard an evil little voice telling him that it was time to stop dicking around.

"**_Heeeeee_**…N-Noin-san…Ch-Ch-Ch-Chang-san's gotta sc-scary look on his f-f-face." Michiru whimpered, scooching away from him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_TEAM D_

Trowa looked around. He couldn't use actual weapons on innocent bystandards that surrounded him…besides he was one bullet short of a full arsenal anyway.

At any rate, if he really needed to, he could just snatch Mikura's bokuto from her, but at the moment, she was doing a good job on her own knocking away the people who got in their path.

So far, they had managed to acquire every item on all three lists with little to no setbacks…okay, with very minimal obstacles…oh alright, with huge number of set backs.

Mikura had whacked a old man (who you should all know was on oxygen) sharply on the hand with her bokuto as he attempted to lift a copy of Karaoke Revolution for PS2.

Seeing her "Sweet, Ole, Grand-daddy" being quote un quote assaulted, the grand-daughter of Ole Sticky Fingers retaliated by giving Misaki, in a case of mistaken identity, a black eye.

Misaki, thoroughly pissed, dove on her and proceeded to punch the girl in the head until she was unconscious…then looted her cart just to pour salt on the wound.

The mother of the girl, seeing what Misaki had done, rushed over to get revenge for what had been done to her child and Mikura, who had done nothing wrong, was bitch slapped across the face.

Trowa, not about to let that happen to his charge sitting down and Misaki, being naturally protective of her sibling, both advanced and kicked the middle aged woman in the head, sending her to join her child in the Land of All Things Unconscious.

During all this, Ole Sticky Fingers had summoned the mall cops, feigning distress as he eyed the goods their palette contained.

They quickly shook off the Rent-A-Cops and were now on their way to the rendezvous point, Mikura chewing both Trowa AND Misaki out as they went.

"**Honestly**, that was low and you know it." Mikura scowled as they turned into Target.

"Hey, she was askin' for it." Misaki shot back as Trowa pushed the palette towards Feminine Hygene, "No one hits my sister."

"I'm talking about that **_CART_**, **idiot!**" Mikura shouted, "I can **_NOT_** believe you actually **LOOTED!** Mimi's gonna bust a **_GASKET!_**"

"Oh shut your trap!" Misaki retorted, "I saw you pinch that Rammstein CD! So don't even-!"

"Enough bickering." Trowa declared as they pulled into the deserted aisle, "Let's relax while we can."

Scowling first at him, then at each other, they gave curt nods and hugged their knees to their chests, perfect mirrors of one another.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Everyone okay?" Noin asked as TEAM B pulled into the empty aisle.

"Been better." Mikura sulked, then seeing her shivering sister, climbed off the palette, Misaki following, and sat down next to Michiru.

"Hey…are you alright?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah, you're as white as a sheet." Misaki said, putting an arm around her sister's shoulders.

"**_OHITWASAWFUL!_**" Michiru shrieked, burying her head in her arms, "He grabbed an extension cord and started whipping everybody, ranting about women being the scourge of the earth and how he would rain down justice on us all!"

"I had to knock him out." Noin sighed, patting the back of Wufei's (currently unconscious) head, "It was for his own good. He was gonna get castrated by a group of nearby feminists."

"Say whuh?" Duo asked as he, Heero and Mitsuki pulled up, "Whose gonna get castrated?"

"I think, Duo, this is one of those, don't ask, don't tell things." Mitsuki snorted, "Hey, Michi? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm **not!** I wanna go back huh-huh-huh-**_home!_**" Michiru sobbed, "I want my **Daddy!** I want my **_bed!_** I want my **lab!**"

"You'll see'm Christbus Day." Sally said reassuringly (remember, she got nailed in the puss), urging the cart against the wall, "And, if all goes well, yeh'll beh 'lowed t' go hobe af'er. Now get a hold a yehself."

"Hysterics never helped anyone." Mimiru said calmly, "Well…except the Ramseys (1)."

"I suggest move to front of the store now." Heero said coolly, "Before the registers become congested with other customers."

"Agreed." Quatre nodded, "I made a near fatal mistake earlier that put Sally in her current state. I will not make another one."

"I was about to ask about that that." Duo smirked, "But oh well. So goes another mystery of life."

"Ha, ha." Noin sai sarcastically as they moved towards the registers, "Let's move onto another topic, shall we?"

"Oh it's not so bad." Mitsuki sighed, "At least he's not asking why toast always lands jelly side down."

"Ya know I have always wondered about that." Misaki chimed, drawing a groan from her sister.

"Hey, me too!" Quatre said with a smile, drawning a small groan from Noin.

"Ugh, my head." Wufei groaned as he regained consciousness, "…why do I have the sudden urge to beat Noin over the head with a bat?"

"Don't trouble yourself over it." Trowa said mildly, surpressing a small laugh as the Chinese teen looked around woozily.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The group paid for their items, and made a mad dash for the front of the store with Trowa carrying the half conscious Wufei on his back. They wanted out of there and **_NOW!_**

Just as they got outside the exit – and Mikura's bokuto, Mimiru and Mitsuki's feet and Wufei/Noin's extension cord-whip had provided plenty of assistance in getting them all that far – they found yet another problem.

Ole Sticky Fingers, the Rent-A-Cops, the girl who had punched Misaki and her mama who bitch slapped Mikura were waiting outside. When they spotted TEAM D, the elderly thief pointed a crooked finger and cried, "There they are! They're th' ones, Officer!"

All this, and now they were going to spend their Christmas in juvenile hall and prison? They thought about making a break for it, but where could they go? There was another cop (the real deal this time peeps) in the patrol car right in front of them!

Just when the officer started to advance on the group, they heard a horn blaring. They looked up to see (much to Duo's AND Heero's dismay) Milliardo and Relena Peacecraft manning the SUV.

Milliardo leaning over from the driver's seat of SUV As Relena threw the side door open.

"You coming?" she asked, smiling as her brother lit the first smoke he'd had that day. For once in his life, Duo was glad to see the man and smiled despite himself.

Without a second thought, Pilots 1-5, Sally, Noin and the Sugino girls bolted for the SUV, the cop chasing them halfway there.

"Hey! Get back here! **STOP!**"

Michiru slammed the door forcefully shut as Noin dove for Shotgun and Milliardo floored the gas, causing everyone else who had yet to find their seats to fly back against the back of the vehicle with their purchases.

"Rough day?" he asked, not bothering to remove the cigarette from his mouth.

"…you could say that." Duo replied climbing to his feet to strap himself in.

"Hey, you survived." Relena said tactfully from her place on the bench seat across from him, "That's what counts."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) The Ramseys - as in the parents of JonBenet Ramsey, who was found dead in the basement of her home in Boulder Colorado. The Boulder police and a large proportion of the world's media believed that her parents, John and Patsy Ramsey, were responsible for her death.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: Christmas time comes! Sugino Hatake gets a one-day pass to visit with his daughters, then the Hell Hole that is school is back in session trouble is already looming on the horizon. R&R!)


	26. Mission Brief: Christmas & Back 2 School

(A/N: YAY! It's the X-mas edition! I'm warning you aheada time I got lazy on the present opening section, but other than that, enjoy!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Home Sweet home!" Misaki sang as the Sugino Mansion loomed into view, "Or I should say, sty sweet sty. I mean, we haven't cleaned our rooms in over two months!"

"That's true." Wufei remarked, "And now that you mentioned it, I felt a thrill of dread shoot through my very soul…I can't help but wonder if that means anything, woman."

"Dude…that's a little scary when you think about it." Mitsuki said, looking a little nervous, "I don't wanna think what creatures have managed to manifest themselves under my bed."

"Eeuuh. Sugino-jo, that's disgusting." Quatre said reproachfully…then, seeming to take into consideration the time lapse, "…no matter how accurate the statement may be."

"Uh-oh…" Mimiru mumbled as they pulled into the drive, "I just remembered…I left a half-eaten turkey sandwich on my desk before we left."

"Huh…wonder if has any shrooms sproutin' from it yet?" Duo wondered aloud, earning withing looks from almost everyone else, "_**Whaaaaaat?**_ I can wonder can't I?"

"At any rate, let's clean things up and get you girls unpacked, kay?" Noin said cheerfully as she tugged the emergency brake in place, "Your dad should arrive first thing in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan." Mikura replied as she slid open the door and hopped, out, "God…it even SMELLS like home. Damn, its been forever."

Trowa unbuckled his seatbelt and made his way to the back of the vehicle to Jasmine's carrier, quickly working the fastening and freeing the creature from her prison to skulk about the grounds she called home.

Heero made his way to the door with Michiru, who once again was far more fidgety and discomfited than usual standing next to him…making Heero wonder what the hell it was he was doing to make her so nervous (poor boy: so cute and yet, so dense)

Sally, who had the key, undid the padlocks, opened the door and was greeted by a rush of musty air and the loud eardrum piercing screech of the security system going off.

"O-oh my!" Michiru gasped, flipping her laptop open and typing in several security codes, silencing the alarms, "I-I completely forgot th-that I set up the security system b-b-before we left for th-th-th-the base."

"Yeah…we kinda picked up on that went we went deaf." Mimiru said dryly, fingers in her ears.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dealing with cans of festering garbage soup, laundry that had been allowed to marinate for two months, the half-eaten sandwich in Mimiru's room (that Duo swore had tried to bite him), an Eeebil Death Spider and his buddies that were the size of small planets, and a swarm of Killer Dust Bunnies…the house was finally smelling halfway decent.

"Remember, windows stay open for at least two hours." Noin said, dusting off her hands, "We gotta air this house out."

"Thank god for Oust." Misaki grimaced, "Or my room would never smell right again."

"Your room never smelled right to begin with." Wufei mumbled, "Far too…flowery for my taste."

"Aw, you know you love it." Mikura teased, dropping a damp, soiled towel that she had used to clean the bathroom on his head as she walked by, "Bathroom's open by th' way."

"I hate you. You know that right?" he growled as he ripped the dirty towel off his head and chucked it at her.

"Chang, you hate everybody." Mimiru snorted, giving his ponytail a yank, "You're going to kill everybody. We get it. Let it go. Hey, Winner, help me out in the kitchen, would ya?"

"Certainly. Dinner preparations I presume?" Quatre asked as he stepped out of Mitsuki's room covered in a fine layer of dust, "I'll prepare some turkey stuffing."

"Who said stuffing?" Duo asked, appearing from seemingly nowhere, "I swear ta God I heard someone say stuffing."

"You also swear that that two month old sandwich tried to bite you." Trowa murmured, pressing the edge of one of his sharpest throwing knives against Pilot 2's throat.

"No fighting in the house." Mitsuki commented, lifting the knife from Trowa as she walked by and shoving it into a cabinet.

"P-Po-san?" Michiru called from the front entry way, her voice cracking from stress, "C-could you help us out here for a m-m-minute please?"

"Sure, but, dya mind telling me what th' emergency is?" Sally asked, drying off her hands as she strolled out of the kitchen.

"She's tangled in a few dozen strands of Christmas lights." Heero replied calmly, "I would help, but I myself am currently trapped under a mountain of boxes that fell out of the hall closet."

"On my way." Sally smirked, pausing when Duo tapped her on the shoulder and, grinning maliciously, handed her a camera.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Quatre, hand me that box of baking chocolate, wouldya?" Mirmiru asked absently as she whisked the contents of the mixing bowl in front of her.

"Of course. Here you are." Quatre replied, handing her the requested item without looking up from the Marinated Mushrooms he was boiling on the stove.

"**_WAAAAH!_** **Quatre!** **Mimiru!** **_SAVE ME!_**" Sally laughed as she streaked through the kitchen with Heero hot on her heels.

"Give me that camera if you wish to see tomorrow, Po!" Heero snarled, wrenching his pistol from it's holster.

"Take it elsewhere guys." Quatre said reproachfully, "You're going to ruin the f-**ACK! _NO!_**"

The blonde Arab made a diving leap to catch the bowl of stuffing he had prepared for the oven (which was still in the preheat stages) that Heero, in his attempt to catch Sally, had sent airborne.

However, when he dove after the flying stuffing, he also knocked into a bowl of freshly prepared Caesar salad which also went skyward, but made a perfect landing…on Mimiru's head.

Both Sally and Heero stopped and stared as Mimiru pulled the bowl off her head…but not before Heero, who had gotten his mitts on the camera, took a picture.

"Get. Out. Now." Mimiru said, seething quietly as lettuce fell from atop her head, pushing both intruders out the door, "The kitchen is officially off limits."

"M-Mimiru…are you alright?" Quatre asked as he watched the eldest quint fall to her knees and begin picking up the spilt lettuce.

Her face split into a wicked grin and she looked up at Pilot 4 with a malicious look on her face.

"Wasting food's a sin y'know." Mimiru snickered, "We're making another Caesar salad, obviously, BUT!" she held up the bowl of lettuce, bacon bits salvaged from the floor, "…make sure you don't toss this out."

Two and two came together in Quate's head when he realized what Mimiru was planning. He knew he should have tried to reason with her…but he had spent over forty five minutes making that salad and it appeared that his Shoulder Angel had decided to take a vacation.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"**_Man_**, I'm stuffed!" Duo cried happily after dinner.

Halfway through the meal, both Heero and Sally had discovered hairs of varying lengths, and various other horrible things in their salads.

And, making a huge production of spitting out the mouthfuls they currently had and scraping down their tongues, led to Trowa remark, "Hm…dinner and a show."

Which led to Misaki laughing so hard that she nearly choked to death on the mouthful of turkey she was halfway through gulping.

"Honestly woman, I thought even YOU would know to chew before you swallow." Wufei growled as he gave her the Heimlich Maneuver.

"Well we can't all be models of perfection like you, buddeh." Mitsuki smirked as she leaned against an easy chair rather than climbing in it.

"Yeah, that's supposedly Heero's job." Noin snickered, slightly tipsy from the alcoholic eggnog Mimiru had insisted on making ('tisn't the holidays without it)

"…d-d-don't you think y-you've had e-enough, Noin-san?" Michiru asked tentatively from her position on the couch.

"She's had enough…for herself and three people." Sally snorted from her place on the floor.

"Hey, I didn't put THAT much liquor in." Mimiru said defensively, "Just enough to give it a kick. She's probably the kind of person who gets drunk off Nyquil."

"…now that you mention it…" Trowa said thoughtfully, recalling when Noin got the flu and started riding an electric floor buffer around the base.

"In case, we should get some blankets and junk if were sleeping down here tonight." Mikura said offhandedly.

"Why would you sleep down here?" Quatre asked before it dawned on him, "Oh right…right, your father."

"Yup! We wanna be here when he arrives." Misaki said with a determined smile on her face, "So were sleeping by the door so he trips over us."

"That isn't very polite." Heero said severely, "He's your father and you're trying to hurt him?"

"Oh **_no!_**" Mitsuki laughed, "We'd never do something like that! We're just making it so he can't get in without waking us up, get it?"

"…_not really."_ The pilots and Sally thought together, while the inebriated Noin thought, _"DANG me this s'm good shit! Godda go get s'more!"_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

But apparently, their plan worked because somewhere around 3 A.M., Sugino Hatake tripped over Michiru as he walked in the door.

"**_Aaiieek!_** Hwuh?…F-father?" she mumbled as her siblings stirred and the older man began picking himself.

"Hey there honey." He whispered, wincing a little as he pulled himself upright…little did he know he wouldn't be staying that way for long.

"**_FATHER!_**"

"**DAD!**"

"**_PAPA!_**"

"**DAD-MAN!**"

"**_DADDY!_**"

Five honey haired girls launched themselves at the man sending him crashing to the floor and of course, all this commotion brought their half asleep bodyguards, armed to the teeth, stumbling to the scene…only let out noisy groans of annoyance and haul their butts right back to bed after seeing just what was really going on.

"God we missed you so much." Mitsuki mumbled into her father's neck, "Izzit true you only get one day with us, Dad-man?"

"'fraid so kiddo." Hatake sighed, ruffling her hair, "The danger level is still high, so they want my presence hidden. No telling what your grandpa could pull next."

"**_Okaaaaaay._**" Misaki pouted sulkily, "But it **IS** the entire day, right?"

"Of course." Hatake smiled, "Now I don't know about you, but I could really go for some coffee."

"On my way, Dad." Mimiru said with a mock salute as she made her way hurriedly to the kitchen, "You want Kivu?"

"Yes please." Hatake sighed as Mikura and Michiru hefted him back on his feet, "That would be wonderful."

Two hours later, Pilots 1-5 stumbled out of bed prodded into consciousness by the sharp smell of brewing coffee and more subtle scent of waffles and bacon,

"'zit time t' open presents?" Duo asked sleepily as he lurched into the dining room, plunking unceremonious down at the table.

"Once P-P-Po-sa wakes up, it'll be g-go time as M-Misa would put it." Michiru said with a thumbs up, "We've already d-d-decided we're not going wait for N-Noin-san because she'll have a h-h-hangover."

"Probably a good idea." Trowa mumbled, sitting down rather hard in his chair and starting in on his waffles.

"C'dya pass th' creamer please?" Quatre asked tiredly from his seat as Hatake obliged and handed the dairy product to him.

"Nn." Wufei grunted, obviously not a morning person as he took a sip of coffee and began making short work of his sausage links.

"…" Heero apparently, wasn't a morning person either and didn't touch his food at all until he downed three cups of coffee.

"Okay, nobody get up." Sally said as she entered the dining room ,"I have arrived. Can I get some coffee?"

"Of course." Mimiru smirked, jerking her thumb in a familiar direction, "It's in the kitchen."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty minutes later, they were gathered around the tree, tearing open presents.

(The following people received the following gifts from the following people) ((yes, I know I'm being lazy))

**Heero:**

USB Memory Sticks (x8) Wireless modem, Notebook cooler – _Michiru_

T-shirt (_I LIKE My Attitude Problem_) – _Misaki_

Laptop carrying case – _Quatre_

AC Adapter – _Trowa_

Sweatshirt (_Awww…Somebody Needs A Hug!_) – _Duo_

Printer - _Wufei_

**Duo:**

Digital Camera, T-shirt (_I used to listen to my parents but the nice stranger with candy had better advice_) Sweatshirt (_It's Not Stupid. It's Advanced!_) - _Mimiru_

Model building kit – _Quatre_

A pair of devil horns – _Wufei _(now that was just plain mean, you Grinch!)

Flower Kiss Candy - _Sally_

Dancing Hamster holding an iPod Nano - _Mitsuki_

New wallet, Gift card to Barnes & Noble - _Heero_

**Trowa:**

Stephen King's **_Cujo_**, George Orwell's **_Animal Farm_**, The pig from Invader Zim - _Mikura_

Hair gel – _Misaki_

A brush and comb set – _Quatre_

Several different shampoos – _Michiru_

Trip to a salon – _Mimiru_

T-shirt (_Did You Eat A Bowl Of Stupid For Breakfast?_) - _Duo_

**Quatre:**

All 29 sisters, a ceramic urn of imported tea leaves, a new set of tea cups – _Mitsuki_

**_20,000 Leagues Under The Sea_** – _Heero_

Karaoke Revolution – _Misaki_

Complete Collection Of CSI Season 1 – _Trowa_

Aromatherapy Bath Salts - _Sally_

Hoodie (Tacos Are Good) - _Noin_

**Wufei:**

Whet stone, sword polish, Katana stand -_ Misaki_

Chocolate flavored laxatives – _Duo_ (to loosen whatever metal object's been shoved up his ass! pay back is sweet!)

Round Tickets to China – _Quatre_ (never L4; he's not cruel)

Martial Arts Tournament Tickets, third row – _Mitsuki_

T-shirt (Stop STARING At My SHIRT!) - _Mimiru_

Rice candies - _Trowa_

**Michiru:**

Computer components, 21 piece Computer tool kit, new soldering iron - _Heero_

Squeaky Moose from I.Z., B&N Gift Card - _Mimiru_

USB Sticks, sketch pad and pencils - _Quatre_

New necklace - _Misaki_

Earrings and bracelet - _Wufei_

**Mimiru:**

T-shirt (_I could listen to what you're saying, but I'd rather jump rope with barbed wire._), The Complete Animated Series of Excel Saga, hair ties - _Duo_

Rammstein CD – _Mikura_ (ya know, the one she lifted)

Shin guards – _Mitsuki_

**_Nothing's Sacred_** by Lewis Black - _Sally_

Leg weights – _Trowa_

Wrist guards - _Michiru_

**Mikura:**

Wooden practice dummy, new bokuto, new hakama - _Trowa_

Comedy Central Presents Stephen Lynch – _Duo_

Tickets to a Kendo Tournament – _Noin_

Makeup kit – _Sally_ (the boy's made'm go through it pretty fast when school was in session)

Madea's Family Reunion – _Misaki_

Final Fantasy VII -_ Wufei_

**Mitsuki:**

New soccer ball, soccer net (actual sized) set of shin and knee pads - _Quatre_

Cleats – _Michiru_

Hair clips (the good kind that don't break after you use'm one time) – _Duo_

The World's Wildest Soccer Accidents - _Mimiru_

Soccer ball beanbag chair – _Wufei_

T-shirt (Kick Ass!) - _Sally_

**Misaki:**

Bring It On Again, Sugar and Spice, The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom- _Wufei_ (…he thought this out)

Scary Movie 4 - _Mimiru_

Rave gift card – _Heero_

Devil May Cry -_ Mitsuki_

Not Another Teen Movie - _Trowa_

Mind of Mencia Season 1 - _Noin_

**Sally:**

IPod Nano – _Mitsuki_

Trip to Las Vegas - _Misaki_

**Hatake:**

Family picture – joint effort

New outfit and PDA – joint effort

**Noin:**

Trip to a Spa – _Mimiru_

Plasma Screen TV for back on base – joint effort

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A several hours later, The Winner sisters, while lecturing their little brother on proper hygiene eating rituals and decorum, tearfully left the Sugino Mansion.

Following soon after that was a knock on the door, which turned out to be four uniformed guards from the Preventer's Moon Base (Sally and Noin confirmed) who had come to retrieve Hatake.

After a goodbye that entailed Misaki trying to stow away in her father's luggage and Mitsuki pulling a spider monkey and refusing to let go, Sugino Hatake was finally back in protective custody.

All that was left to do was pick up the shredded wrapping paper and empty boxes and move on.

"**_Oi-oi-oi!_** Hurry it **UP **Chang!" Misaki cried as the bell rang and she and her body guard rounded a corner in a futile attempt to get to English on time, "Seriously, how can a **_guy_** take so long in the bathroom? You don't even need ta sit down!"

"**Shut it** woman!" Wufei….or should I say Chun Li spat as the classroom loomed into sight, "For your information, the only reason I took so long is because you **_insisted_** on showing me how the tampon machine works!"

**_-WHMP-_**

"Gah! **_Hey!_** Watch where you're going, mor-!" Wufei snarled before Misaki clamped a hand over his mouth.

"W-why hello Shinonome-sensei!" she said brightly, forcing a fake Barbie smile on her face, "And how are you this morning?"

"I was just fine until you lovely ladies ran me down." The twenty five year old man chuckled, gazing at Wufei in a way that gave the teen the creeps, "Tell me, are you the transfer student I've heard so much about?"

"Yes, sensei. She's Chun Li Xiang." Misaki supplied, never dropping the unbelievably fake smile, "She's my second cousin."

_"Good save."_ Wufei thought to himself, _"AND STOP STARING YOU FREAK!"_

"I see." Shinonome-sensei said languidly, "Well, I'd like to have an at home teacher conference, Sugino-sama…to ensure that something of this nature never occurs again. She is boarding with you, correct?"

"Y-yes sensei." Misaki squeaked out as he made his way past her, "But…but…but…"

"Good." Shinonome-sensei said calmly, "See you then, Chun Li-chan."

The bodyguard and his ward watched the young teacher go, with a horrible sense of impending doom.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: An in home conference goes seriously wrong and the brief moment of peace The Sugino Girls enjoyed comes to an abrupt end. R&R)


	27. Mission Brief: Conference Time

(A/N: Hey all, I'm sorry this took forever. I've been down with Insephilitis so sitting at the computer has made me really dizzy. At any rate, please enjoy this next chapter.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"God, this is **_nooooooooot_** good." Misaki groaned as she and Wufei walked home, "Not good, not good, **_nooooooot_** good."

"I know." Wufei mumbled dejectedly, "I'll bet good money that 'Shinonome-sensei' is a spy for your grandfather."

"Huh?" Misaki blinked, giving Wufei a weirded out look, "I didn't even **think** about that. I was more worried about his…his reputation."

"Whose reputation?" Mikura asked as she and 'Teiala' met them at the halfway point, "What's going on?"

"Shinonome-sensei is coming over for an 'at home conference' today." Wufei groaned, head drooping in disgust.

"**_Ohhhh_**." Mikura said with an understanding nod, "His reputation. I get it now."

"Would you mind enlightening us?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow at his charge as the walked along.

"Later." Misaki said dismissively, "Right now, I need to borrow your cell, Miku. I hafta call Sally and Noin pronto!"

"Sure." Mikura said, pausing to riffle through her bag, "Any chance I can ask why?"

"**THINK ABOUT IT!**" Misaki shrieked, "Shinonome-sensei is coming over to-**_DAY!_** And 'Chun Li' and 'her family' are supposedly staying with us!"

"…oh dear." Trowa murmured, "Well…that certainly does pose a problem now doesn't it?"

"No shit, Sherlock." Wufei growled, "But I fail to see how Po and Noin could do anything to-"

Misaki's face went a deep shade of purply-red and she punched in her home phone number, finger shaking.

"Oh lord." Mikura groaned, face filling with realization as well as a similar color as her elder siblings, "You better not be **thinking** what I **think** you're thinking!"

"**_Hey_, it's a realistic scenario!**" Misaki screeched, "**_And it's all I can come up with that could be possibly believable!_**"

"**AND _WHAT_ MAKES YOUR _TEENY TINY_ BRAIN THINK THAT _THEY'LL_ GO _ALONG_ WITH IT!**" Mikura screamed, going even redder and making both Trowa and Wufei grow concerned that she might faint.

"**BECAUSE IF _THEY _DON'T WANT THEIR _COVER BLOWN_, THEY_ WILL!_**" Misaki yelled back, as Sally, who had just picked up on the other end, nearly had her eardrums split.

"**OW-_SHIT!_**" she gasped, nearly losing her grip on the receiver.

"Huh? **Sally?** Izzat you? **_Hello?_**" Misaki cried into the phone, "Listen we have a situation!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So we're all clear on we're doing for our science project, right?" Mimiru asked as they approached the house.

"Yup." Duo nodded, "Crystal. But how exactly are we gonna get our hands on liquid hydro-hey who's that?"

Mimiru followed Duo's finger and found herself staring at a rather attractive twenty something leaning against the outer gates of the Sugino Estate.

"Heyy...I recognize him from Parent-Teacher night." she mumbled, "He's from Crystalview Academy. Shinonome Tasuku. He teaches history."

"So, he's safe?" Duo asked as they approached the teacher on their way to the entrance.

"I didn't say all that." Mimiru said dryly, "Apparently he has quite the rep for trying to start relationships with both female **AND **male students."

"…okay, eew." Duo gagged, face contorting in disgust, "He has to be, what, ten years older than them! That's disgusting!"

"Well, they may be just empty rumors." She shrugged, "I mean, he is rather attractive and I'm sure he has his share of admirers."

"You did not just say that." Duo said in disbelief, eyes widening in horror.

"Hey, he's cute. Why lie?" Mimiru shrugged, "That would be like saying the sky isn't blue."

"Yeeugh." Duo shuddered as they reached the gate, "It's still creepy. I don't care **_HOW_** you try to justify it."

"Why good afternoon, Mimiru-sama." Shinonome-sensei said with a smile, "Tell me, do you still allow that lioness of yours to meander about the grounds?"

"Why yes I do." she replied with slight smile, "She's not long for this world so I allow her to do as she pleases."

"I dare say, it sounds to me like you intend to make her a fat, contented house cat." Shinonome-sensei said as Mimiru punched in the access code to unlock the gates.

"That's the plan." She replied as the gateway swung open and all three walked inside.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tell me, who is your charming companion over there?" Shinonome sensei asked, eyeing Duo, "I dare say he's avoiding me like the plague."

"Oh that's Maxwell." Mimiru replied offhandedly, "He's my second cousin."

"Nice to meetya…I guess." Duo said, eyeing Shinonome warily.

"Is that right…" Shinonome-sensei murmured evenly, "Well, I had the pleasure of meeting your other second cousin earlier today. Chun Li, I believe her name was?"

Mimiru and Duo jerked involuntarily as they reached the front door.

"Oh…really?" Duo asked, "W-well, th-the thing about that is…well…we're uh-umm…"

"Adopted!" Mimiru said loudly, "All…five of them are adopted! By their moms! Rather difficult to talk about! So could you just let it...?"

"Oh! Oh of-of course!" Shinonome-sensei replied, going slightly pink in the cheeks as Mimiru started fumbling around in her pockets for her house keys, calling "Maxwell" over to help her look for them.

"Moms?" Duo hiss into Mimiru's ear, "Adopted? What th' HELL kinda lame ass excuse is that?"

"It's all I could come up with on the spot!" Mimiru whispered back, face red and mortified, "And what with both Noin AND Sally here? I thought maybe it could work!"

"Any luck yet?" Shinonome-sensei asked politely behind them.

"Huh?" they both yelped, "Uh-yeah! Here they are!"

Mimiru then managed to somehow get the keys into the padlock and turn them with her hand quaking and enter the house.

"DUO! Welcome home, sweetums!"

The blonde blur that was Sally rushed Duo and crushed him in a bone breaking hug.

"Duo? I thought his name was Maxwell." Shinonome-sensei said, voicing his obvious confusion.

"It's his nickname!" Mimiru said quickly as Noin came rushing in, joining Sally in glomping Duo, "Because he was **_so_** energetic as a child you would swear their were two of him!"

"Ohhhh…yes, I see." Shinonome-sensei nodded, "And I suppose those are his mothers?"

"That's right." Duo voiced swiftly, "Sally and Lucreiza Rousseau!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you ladies." Shinonome-sensei nodded as both women greeted him cheerfully while hugging their 'son', "Well then, I'll be waiting for Chun Li in the living room. Is that all right Mimiru-sama?"

"Just fine." she replied as the teacher exited the room and, seeing that the coast now officially was clear, both women released Duo.

"Misaki gave us a heads up." Noin said, nodding in the direction of the phone, "Mikura and Trowa are going to intercept the others and inform them of the situation at hand so there wont be any slip ups."

"Good." Duo sighed, allowing his shoulders to sag in relief, "Now if you don't mind, 'Mom's', I'm gonna go grab a snack."

"Same here." Mimiru sighed, "Nothin' against you, but I don't trust anyone outside a Winner inside my kitchen. You two want anything?"

"Anything you make would be fine." Sally said ruefully, "I skipped lunch so I'm at the point were I would eat the crumbs under the sofa."

"Same goes for me." Noin smiled complacently, "We spent the entire day catching up on the paper work we put off over Christmas."

"Okay, okay. Two roast beef sandwiches, coming up." Mimiru snorted, grabbing her apron off a wall hook near the kitchen door.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So that's the situation." Trowa informed Heero and Quatre as the approached the house with the girls in tow, "So if Po and Noin are behaving differently than usual, that is why."

"Understood." Heero nodded as they approached the front door, "I will approach the situation with caution."

"Which means disguises stay on until Shinonome is out the door, got it?" Mitsuki growled.

"Got it." Quatre moaned, wanting desperately to free himself from the female garb as soon as was humanly possible.

"We know." Wufei muttered under his breath, mumbling some near indistinct curses upon Shinonome-sensei and his family.

Michiru gave a small nod and, with a shaking hand, turned the doorknob and opened the door.

"We-we're home." She called nervously as the door swung open and the group trekked inside.

"Teiala! Himeka! Chun Li!" Sally cried through a mouthful of sandwich, leaping to her feet, "Welcome home!"

"We missed you all **_sooooo_** much!" Noin cried, spraying them with crumbs as she and Sally hugged them, "Did you have a good day at school, kids?"

"Yes, mother." Quatre smiled, falling immediately into character, "One thing though? Finish your sandwich or talk to us. Make your decision please."

Making her decision immediately, Noin and Sally released them and retreated quickly to their sandwiches.

"Of course." Wufei snorted, dropping his bag near the door as he watched them go, "I guess we know where we stand now."

"A bit sad, really." Trowa said with a bit of mock sadness leaking into his voice, "To think, we're lower on the food chain than a pair of roast beef sandwiches."

"Yes, tragic." Heero grunted, massaging a crick out of his neck, "I'm heading to the kitchen. You guys want anything?"

"Um Himeka? You're banned for life, remember?" Mikura giggled stopping the teen in his tracks, "Remember the whole Christmas incident?"

"Don't tell me you just happened to let it slip your-!" Misaki began when who should cross the threshold into the entryway than Shinonome-sensei making the rest of Misaki's words catch in her throat.

"Ah, Chun Li. So you've finally arrived." Shinonome-sensei said with a smile, "And who are the rest of these charming ladies?"

"Ah-um-y-yes!" Michiru squeaked upon seeing the teacher, "Th-this is Qu-Quarisa Wittier, T-T-Teiala B-Benton and Hi-Hi-Hi-Himeka Yumehoshi!"

"Ah, I see." Shinonome-sensei smirked, "You still haven't cured that stutter of yours, eh, Michiru-sama? At any rate it's a pleasure to meet you all."

Tiny tears pricked at the corners of Michiru's eyes at the that last remark and she hurriedly excused herself from the room.

Heero, sensing something was decidedly wrong, excused himself as well, along with Mikura, Mitsuki, Trowa, Misaki and Quatre hot on his heels, leaving Wufei alone with the teacher.

Mimiru, hearing the commotion from the kitchen, followed after them to see what was up.

"Now then, I do believe we should get started." Shinonome-sensei said brightly, completely disregarding the glare 'Chun Li' hurled his way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There there, Michi." Mitsuki said sympathetically as she patted her sibling on the back, "Don't listen to him. He was a creep then, he's a creep now."

"Would you mind enlightening us?" Trowa asked carefully, eyeing Michiru's sobbing form, "If you think it's would be appropriate that is."

"No, no." Misaki sighed, "It's okay. You need ta know how that guy **_GOT_** his rep in the first place. You see, back in ninth grade, Michi had a monster crush on him."

"Really?" Quatre asked, sounding mildly surprised, "I mean, sure, he isn't hard on the eyes but still, the age gap…wait-what did you just say?"

"We used to all go to Crystalview…" Mikura explained, "…but in third grade, Mimi negotiated with Papa and switched into the public schooling system.".

"And shortly after Michi told Shinonome-shithead how she felt, he rejected her totally." Mitsuki spat, "Saying he found one of her male classmates far more attractive than her."

"Shortly after that she requested a change of schools and I went with." Mitsuki stated simply, "To fend off any…bully problems she might have and to keep her company."

"I d-d-developed m-m-m-my st-stutter th-th-then." Michiru hiccupped, wiping her eyes, "An-and I j-just can't seem to st-st-stop."

"Well, you were correct in your assessment Misaki." Heero said mildly, "He was a callous person then, and is a callous person still."

Michiru smiled feebly at him and wiped her eyes.

"Speaking of which, I don't trust him alone with Wuf-I mean Chun Li." Misaki said rising to her feet, "I'm gonna go check on them."

"We'll stay Michiru-jo." Quatre said, giving the introverted girl a pat on the hand as Trowa gave a nod of agreement.

"I'm going to make sure Jasmine hasn't gotten inside the house." Mimiru said mildly, "She has the most uncanny aversion to people with lascivious thoughts."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now then, Chun Li-san…you appear to be a healthy teenage girl." Shinonome-sensei said mildly, "Despite your living arrangement."

"W-why…thank you, Shinonome-sensei." Wufei said from across the table, unsure of why he felt quite as nervous as he did…must have been prolonged exposure to girl's clothing.

"And as such, you must be prone to…urges." Shinonome-sensei said, leaning forward on the table so he loomed over poor, slow to catch on, Wufei.

_"What…the HELL is this guy on?"_ Wufei wondered to himself, quirking an eyebrow curiously at the teacher.

"Perhaps…you need help from sensei to help relieve yourself of those urges?" Shinonome-sensei asked, practically on top of the table and already fantasizing about things that would make a whore blush.

"**CHUN_ LI!_**"

Wufei turned to look behind him where a Misaki, just barely containing her fury, stood quaking with rage.

"The baths are ready." She managed to say, grabbing 'Chun Li' by the bicep and hoisting 'her' to 'her' feet, "I'll go with you! Don't want you getting lost again!"

Shinonome-sensei, lost in his own fantasies, didn't even notice as Misaki dragged him up the stairs.

He DID notice, however, when hot, damp breath began gusting against his face and a set of large, razor sharp fangs bared themselves in front of his nose.

Shinonome Tasuku flew back, flipping the sofa at the sight of Jasmine, tethered on a rarely used leash, standing before him with her mistress.

"Shinonome-sensei, I do believe your…'conference' is over." Mimiru said wryly, pointing at the door, "Take your leave, please."

Scrambling to gather his things, he dashed for the door, but was halted when Duo called to him.

"Oi, 'Sensei'!" he called mockingly, slitting his throat slowly with his index finger, "Watch your back old man. Shinigami's got his eye on you."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: Valentine's Day is around the corner and letters from secret admirer's are pouring in right in left for our five favorite guys. Who'll confess to who? Who'll be attacked? And...who will go missing? R&R!)


	28. Mission Brief: Valentine's Day

(A/N:Hi there. Sorry this took so long. But I wanted to fit everything I promised into this chappie, so it's alot longer than usual. It gets a little more serious towards the end. Can you guess gets attacked? Who goes missing? Good luck with guessing and read on to see if you're right!)

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------V-Week…_Day 1_ – St. Augustine's School For Girls**

"Umm…Mitsuki?" Quatre asked nervously as they walked through the halls, "I get the feeling that I'm being watched."

"That's cause ya are being watched, Q." Mitsuki said offhandedly taking in Quatre's rather disturbed look, "No need to look so alarmed. It's V-Week."

"What on **earth** is V-week?" Quatre asked anxiously, already fearing the answer as they approached the lockers.

"Looks like I don't even need to field this one." Mitsuki smirk as Quatre's locker exploded outward from being overstuffed with valentines.

They spilled out onto the floor around his feet, where Quatre began tentatively sifting through them

"…they're all…from girls…" Quatre whispered in horror, aquamarine eyes going from shock, "But…but…but they…they think **_I'M_**-!"

"Oh get **over **it." Mitsuki snickered, thoroughly enjoying his reaction, "You better get used to it because this is only day one and you have four more days to go."

"F-four more days of **_this?_**" Quatre gaped as she began to saunter off towards their next class, leaving him to deal with his mess of valentine…which he hurriedly shoved back into his locker.

"Oi, **Q!**" Mitsuki called once he rejoined her in the classroom, "Check it out girl. It's another one!"

"**_Awww!_**" he cried frustratedly at the site of another envelope on his seat, "Fantastic."

"You may as well open it." Mitsuki shrugged, "I mean, what could it hurt?"

"You mean besides my pride as a man?" Quatre muttered under his breath as he tore it open and read the valentine to himself.

_I promised to never fall in love _

_With a stranger_

_Your all I'm thinking of, _

_I thank the stars above._

"Woo…sounds like somebody's really got the hots for ya. So, who's it from?" Mitsuki asked, leaning over his shoulder to read it.

"…no signature…" Quatre mumbled, checking the note on both sides, "…And it's typed so I can't identify the handwriting."

"Ooo…secret admirer, you lucky dog." Mitsuki snickered, elbowing him in the ribs.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------V-Week…_Day 1 ½ _**- **Crystalview Academy**

"Mikura…would you mind shedding some light on why so many males have gathered outside the school gates?" Trowa asked mildly during lunch.

"**Duhh!** Because it's week proceeding Valentine's Day, obviously." Mikura said, opening her bento, "They're waiting for girls to give them early Valentines."

"Ahh…I see." Trowa said as he broke his chopsticks apart in expectation of the meal that awaited him, "It suddenly becomes clear."

He lifted the lid of his bento, expecting to find food…instead finding it stacked full of Valentine's, the food completely scooped out.

"Wow…they're becoming a lot more creative this year." Mikura whistled, repressing a laugh at Trowa's forlorn expression at the loss of his lunch.

"Cheer up, you can have half of mine." She said holding her bento beneath his nose tauntingly.

Not giving her a chance to retract the offer, he snatched it from her and woofed down his designated half.

"…thank you." he said politely after he swallowed his final mouthful and looking down at the Valentines that had caused him to lose his meal.

"You're welcome…I think." Mikura snickered, watching as Trowa trashed the love letters, "By th' way? …you missed one."

Trowa followed her finger to his school bag where yet another note stuck out.

But unlike the other thirty others he just tossed out, it wasn't completely covered in sparkly heart stickers or drenched in perfume.

This one was a simple white envelope with is alias's name typed across the front.

Out of curiosity, he pulled out of his bag and ripped it open carefully…in case it was a letter bomb…which it wasn't.

Inside was a poem, like Quatre's, which read:

_You always see the dark _

_Even when there is light_

_Can make it seem cloudy_

_Even when the sun burns bright._

_So tell me why, _

_If you really think you could_

_Why I really don't seem to mind_

_Your stolid attitude?_

"Curious." Trowa muttered, stuffing in his bag to check over for fingerprints later.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------V-Week…_Day 2_ – Yuzuriha High**

"So they all got letters from secret admirers huh?" Mimiru asked as Duo continued to rant on as he found more valentines stuffed in the pockets of his jacket.

"**Yes!**" Duo grumbled, chucking them all, "Q, Hairboy, Pokerface, even that sour puss Wiffle Ball! But, honestly, this whole holiday is absolutely point-**_ACK_**! Not **another **one!"

"'fraid so." She replied, plucking yet another valentine out of the neck of his coat, "And by comparing this one to the letters the guys have received, you have now joined secret admirer status buddeh."

"Ah, **_man._**" Duo groaned, snatching it from her, "Y'know, I did read some of those valentines, and a few of them were from guys who were under the impression I was cross dressing."

"Huh…imagine that." Mimiru snorted as Duo tossed a glare at her, "Hey, it's what I've been saying all along, dude. You wanna end the confusion? Cut it off."

Duo then stuck his tongue out at her and ripped the envelope open and flipped the letter inside open.

_There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.  
_

_You became the light on the dark side of me.  
_

_Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.  
_

_But did you know,  
_

_That when it snows,  
_

_My eyes become large and  
_

_The light that you shine can be seen._

"Kiss From a Rose." Mimiru noted, reading the note over Duo's shoulder, "I did the Rhumba to that at last year's competiton."

"Kiss From a what?" Duo asked blankly, "Umm, here's a dumb question-how can a rose kiss exactly?"

"It's a **song**." Mimiru groaned in exasperation, "By the artist Seal! **_Honestly_**, I don't care **how** deprived you were, even **_you_** should know that song!"

"Well excuse **me** for being musically **_retarded!_**" Duo snapped, shoving the valentine roughly into his jeans pocket, "That's **Q's** area of expertise, **_not_** mine!"

"Okay, when we get home, the **first** thing you're doing is listening to that song." Mimiru said officiously, as if that settled the matter.

"**_Hey_**, don't tell me what to do!" Duo snorted, "Remember who's in charge here!"

"Hello, Noin?" Mimiru said, holding her hand in standard 'lookie-lookie-it's-a-cellphone-sorta' positon.

"…I hate you." Duo muttered.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------V-Week…_Day 3_ – Crystalview Academy**

"Honestly Wiffle Ball, chill out." Misaki snorted, as Wufei peered out a window only to see that the boys that had been crowded there that morning were still three deep outside the gate.

"And how exactly, am I supposed to 'chill out'?" Wufei replied snappishly, "They have the front and rear entrances covered! There's no way out!"

"Why, what on earth are you talking about Chun Li?" Misaki asked sweetly, "All you have to do is fight your way through them!"

"While an easy out, that would **completely** blow my cover!" Wufei hissed at her, teetering on the edge of panic at the prospect of being trapped in this building.

"Whaddya mean?" Misaki blinked, "The entire Karate team and Chinese Martial Arts club is taking that route. Look."

He followed her finger and saw to his delight that a large group girls, older and younger than himself, was beating their way through the mob of boys.

"I see…well then…" he murmured as one of the most evil smirks in human history crossed his lips, "I suppose my secret identity shall remain a secret, now wont it."

"…y'know, you frighten me sometimes." Misaki snorted, scooching off the desk she sat on, "But then again, the cafeteria jello frightens me, so…it's all relative, really."

"Oh do shut up woman." Wufei snapped, opening the window and scooping her up, "If you truly value your life, I highly don't suggest distracting me."

And on that note, he leapt out the window, Misaki screaming in his ear and nearly blowing out his left eardrum.

"Be **_quiet!_**" Wufei shouted over his ward's shrieks as he touched ground and charged into the mob punching and kicking with Misaki thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

His fist collided with the last individual blocking his path and, not bothering to remove Misaki from his shoulder (it would slow him down) , he dashed off toward the Sugino Estate cursing Valentine's Day and all who enjoyed it to an early and well deserved grave.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------V-Week…_D Day_ – St. Augustine's School for Girls**

"I perceive I great predatory presence here, Michiru-san." Heero muttered as they walked through the halls, "…I don't think it's safe for you here."

"I-it's alright." Michiru mumbled under her breath, "It's j-just th-th-the thrill of the h-hunt…that's all."

"The hunt?" Heero pressed, raising an eyebrow slightly, "Do elucidate."

"Uh-um…" Michiru went very red and pressing her index fingertips together in agitation as she tried to think up a plausible way out of explaining 'The Hunt' to Heero…but she didn't have to.

She was rescued by way of a flurry of admirers scurrying out from the woodwork to force valentines into his arms and declare their adoration for him…errr…her.

After about seven minutes of this, they all departed, leaving "Himeka" very loaded down, so much so he was barely visible, beneath gifts, cards and candy.

"Tell me…is this the hunt you spoke of?" Heero asked tentatively as he lowered his load to the floor and leaned against the wall.

"Uh…gulp…uh-huh." Michiru nodded nervously, "Y-you stalk out the p-p-person you admire m-m-m-most and l-lavish them with g-g-gifts. It's only a t-true…k-k-k-kill…if on White Day they s-send you a r-r-return g-gift."

"I see." He nodded, "So…that's why they call it the hunt, eh? Well the students here are very poor marksmen. They need more training."

"…I…I s-see." Michiru nodded, the tomato red color in her face paling slightly, "So…wh-what are you going t-to do about all th-this?"

"Leave it for the janitorial staff to sort out." Heero said with a shrug, "I didn't ask for them to send me those objects."

"Y-Yuy-san…no." Michiru said with a frown, "Th-th-they have a h-hard enough t-time as it is."

"…then I'll give it to the janitorial staff as a gift." Heero said, "That kills two birds with one stone…better?"

"Much b-better." Michiru nodded, "B-by the w-w-way…are you g-going to r-respond to that l-letter? It's p-p-posted marked for t-today."

"I have to." Heero replied, "Since it was typed, it could be from an enemy agent working undercover for your grandfather."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mitsuki, I'm have to reply to this letter during free period." Quatre said tentatively, "But, since I don't want to put you in any jeopardy…I…I'm afraid I'm going to have to-"

"Say no more!" Mitsuki laughed, waving her hand dismissively, "I'll come with. We don't wantcha worrying that pretty lil' head a yers, now do we."

"Okay, that's enough." Quatre grumbled under his breath as he stalked towards the exit with a snickering Mitsuki on his heels.

"So you're cute, big whoop." Mitsuki continued, pushing the issue, "Lots of guys are little bit girl-"

"**ALRIGHT!** You can **_stop_** anytime now!" Quatre said shrilly as they reached the designated spot.

"You're right!" Mitsuki giggled, "I can. But right now, I hafta hide myself so you and your secret admirer can have some alone time!"

And with that she hopped into some nearby bushes, leaving "Quarisa" steaming as a tall, lanky brunette came out of the school and made her way towards Quatre.

"Oh, I'm so glad you came." She said, sounding a little short for breath, "Ah-um…you probably don't know me so, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Kotobuki Oharu."

"Nice to meet you." Quatre mumbled numbly, fidgeting with the hem of his skirt.

"I…I really, really like you, Quarisa." Oharu said quietly, "More than I've liked anyone."

"Koharu-chan(1)?" Mitsuki said hopping out of the bushes, "I really hate to dash your hopes, but Quarisa is with me."

And with that, she grabbed "Quarisa" by the wrist and planted a wet one on "her" lips right in front of poor Oharu…who promptly fainted on the spot at the sight of "two" girls kissing.

After she broke it off, Quatre stared at her dumbfounded and screeched, "**WHY DID YOU _DO _THAT?**"

"Why, Q, do you not remember what I said at Lena's Christmas Party?" Mitsuki said innocently as she examined her fingernails, "Lets just say I've had time to figure out exactly how I feel about you…and I'm not about to let another girl muscle in on my turf."

"Since when was I **_ever_** your turf?" Quatre sputtered angrilly.

"Hmm...I guess that's for me to know and for you to figure out on your own!" Mitsuki laughed, prancing off as an incensed Quatre chased after her.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Crystalview Academy **

"Well, how'd it go?" Mikura asked after Trowa tapped her on the shoulder, tearing her from 'Happy iPod Land'.

"He seemed nice enough." Trowa replied as his charge got to her feet and dusted herself off, "However, I told him I wasn't interested."

"Naturally." Mikura said as she stretched herself out, "Took you long enough, though. What keptcha?"

"He was the type who doesn't take no for an answer." Trowa replied simply, "He wanted to know what was wrong with himself so he could change and we could date…took a while to shake him off."

"What line did you use?" Mikura asked staring up at him, deeply curious at what he could possibly have under his belt.

"I was aware that a situation like this may arise." He said carefully, "So I asked Po-san and Noin-san what the most effective tactic for losing unwanted stalkers was."

"Annnnnd?" she pressed, growing impatient, "Get on with it! What did you say?"

"'I love you and I want to have your babies.'" Trowa said blandly.

There was a pause as the words sunk in…then Mikura collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter as Trowa smirked down at her.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yuzuriha High**

"**_Man_**…how many of these are there gonna be…how many hours til school's out again?" Duo moaned, flopping on his desk haphazardly.

"Three hours…just like the last time you asked." Mimiru replied listlessly at the question of her protector who was currently poking her in the shoulder.

So far, Duo had had to reply to nine secret admirers and, while flattered at first, after going to nine different people to "try" to let them down gently…"try" being the key word in this sentence, Duo found that it was getting harder and harder be nice.

"Remind me why we can't just walk off campus again?" he groaned, poking her for the umpteenth time in the exact same place, "I mean, the sensei's have given us the rest of the day off so-"

"Because, **dorkwad**." Mimiru sighed while rolling her eyes, "Allow me to refresh your memory on school attendance policy. If you're caught off campus by a truancy officer, you are detained until your parent or legal guardian comes to sign release forms."

"And since your legal guardian's trying to kill you…" Duo mumbled as the pieces fell into place, "And your parent is on the moon on lock down because of said guardian…we're screwed."

"No, you're screwed." Mimiru corrected, a slow smirk filling her face, "Frankly I'm enjoying every last second of this."

"Sadist." Duo spat, glowering at her as he let his head fall to the desk again.

"Cheer up." Mimiru snickered, "Only twenty four more replies to go."

"Okay, I really hate you." Duo mumbled into his desk.

"Feelings mutual, love." Mimiru laughed.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------St. Augustine's**

Wufei was starting to get nervous; the bell had rung over fifteen minutes ago and he had seen hide nor hair of Misaki since she had entered the bathroom (like he'd go in there with her!)

So he sat in the rapidly emptying halls, listening to the happy shrieks and squeals from just outside the gate as gifts were accepted, inwardly retching at all the pink (reminds him of Relena)

Then PA system…which happened to be just above his head, kicked on in what seem to him, a spur of the moment, causing poor Wufei to nearly give himself a concussion on the ceiling (damn those finely tuned martial arts reflexes)

"_Chang Wufei…Chang Wufei…"_ his heart almost stopped at hearing his actual name and not his pseudonym over the intercom, _"Report to the gymnasium immediately. I repeat, report to the gymnasium immediately."_

Heart in his throat, Wufei leapt to his feet and dashed through the vacant halls making his way to, what he knew would be, the very empty gym.

He threw open what should have been a locked door to find a very familiar face standing there, looking far too smug for his liking.

"Dorothy Catalonia." Wufei growled, "What are you doing here?"

"My job, Wufei." Dorothy smirked, "You see, ever since you killed my grandfather and robbed me of my quote unquote ill 'gotten fortune' I've been in the need of funds."

"I see…you're working for Rousseau, aren't you?" he snarled, eyes darting around the gymnasium, "Where's Misaki?"

"Never fear." Dorothy sneered, pointing upwards to the ceiling where a platform swung, "She's quite alright…for the time being."

"What exactly do you mean 'for the time being'? Wufei asked, his eyes clouding as he guesstimated about how high his charge was (yes, the fall would kill her)

"You see, Rousseau is a very curious man." She said carefully, twisting her fingers over a small remote, "And the thing he's most curious about now is…"

And without finishing her sentence, she pressed the button, causing the platform to open and send Misaki (unconscious) plummeting towards the hardwood planks of the gym floor.

Reacting quickly, he leapt up and caught the cataleptic girl before she hit the ground…unfortunately, giving Dorothy time to escape.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"…Misaki….was attacked?" Heero said slowly, as Wufei walked through the door with the girl (still out cold) on his back.

"Yes." Wufei sighed ruefully, "I'm pretty sure Catalonia chloroformed her in the girl's bathroom. I can smell in on Misaki's clothes."

"**Catalonia?**" Duo barked, "You mean **_Uber Brows_** is behind this one? **That** freakshow? I thought we finally **_lost _**that nutbar!"

"Apparently not." Quatre sighed as He moved forward to help Wufei set his ward on the sofa, "If it isn't one thing it's another."

"I bet she's rather perturbed about her loss of funds." Trowa said lightly appearing with a damp rag, which was promptly paced on Misaki's forehead.

"Naturally." Sally said with a snort, "She went from upper class to destitute in the blink of an eye."

"It was if she were an internet billionaire." Noin smirked, lightening the mood with her remark.

Now where were the Sugino Quint's during this conversation? Crowded around the sofa, quietly watching Misaki and waiting for her to wake up…except for one.

One stood in the background, or if you want to be accurate, on the staircase, watching for a moment, then turned and walked up the stairs.

One returned to their room and made a phone call.

"Hello, it's me. I'll be returning to the Main House…Tonight…Could you send transport for me?…Thank you"

Duo discover two hours later that Mimiru had gone missing, while Dorothy, watching from a spycam smiled with sheer delight.

"Mission objective complete." She murmured gleefully into her communicator, "The elder has isolated herself and in position, sir."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) Koharu - **Ko**tobuki O**haru**; a compression of her last and first name for a cute nickname

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: So how many of you guessed correctly? At any rate, Rousseau focuses his attention on the mysterious Sugino Main House while back at the mansion, they're still trying to figure out just where exactly Mimiru went! R&R!)


	29. Mission Brief: The Best Laid Plans

(A/N: Hey all. Just a preliminary warning - This is one of the more serious chapers in this fic. There are funny bits scattered here and there, but it's on a more somber note than most of the other chapters - With that out of the way, read on.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A black Rolls Royce pulled to a stop in front of a lengthy flight of stone steps that seemed to stretch on forever.

From within the confines of the car, the First Daughter felt a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach; no, she had never liked this place…not one little bit.

_-klk-chk-_

Mimiru raised her eyes to take in her cousin as he opened the door of the car open for her.

Kazuma was a man at least seven years her senior, and was related to her more in the way the branch of a tree is related to a trunk; sort of a cousin…but not really.

He had closely cropped, dark brown hair, nearly black, indicative of his pure Japanese blood, deep brown eyes and a scar slicing across the bridge of his nose.

"Welcome back…oujosama(1)." Kazuma said with a small smile that didn't come anywhere near reaching his eyes, "You're looking well."

"…cut the crap, Kazuma." Mimiru said flatly, not bothering to wipe the hair out of her eyes, "We both know you and the rest of the family hates me."

"Too true." Kazuma nodded in agreement, smile growing, "In fact, if I recall correctly, you swore you would never return here until great-grandfather formally apologized to Hatake. Why the change of heart…oujosama?"

"I don't need to share that particular information with the likes of you." Mimiru replied coolly, "My reasons are my own and shall remain as such."

"**_Ooo_**, so cold!" Kazuma remarked, leaning in to inspect his relation's face, "…your sudden return wouldn't have anything to do with your dear sweet sister's safety…would it?"

"That is none of your concern, Kazuma." Mimiru replied curtly, "And since when did you ever take a personal interest in my sisters well being when it didn't have anything in it for you?"

"That's true." Kazuma snickered, "With the five of you out of the picture, it just puts my father in a better position to take Hatake's place when he finally kicks it."

Mimiru glared at him poisonously, pausing in the middle of the stairs.

"You will hold your tongue…" She hissed, green eyes flashing, "…and never speak of my father in such a way again. That is a direct order, Kazuma."

Kazuma returned her glare, holding it for several moments…before diverting his gaze in disgust at being out ranked by his younger relative and spitting, "Hai…oujosama."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Damn it, where could she have gone?" Duo groaned, pacing back and forth, "Dya think she could've been kidnapped?"

"N-not at all." Michiru said tentatively, "I h-had Andromeda d-d-do a check of th-the phone records and Mimiru p-p-placed a call to th-the Main house."

"Two things Michiru-jo." Quatre asked politely, "Number one: who is Andromeda-san? and Number two: what exactly is the Main House?"

"I'll field the second one!" Mitsuki volunteered, "It's exactly what it sounds like it is, Q. It's the Sugino Main House located deep in the heart of Hokkaido. It's where the most influential members of the Sugino family live…or are supposed to."

"Yeah, dad left after the horrible things they said about mom." Mikura frowned, "About her 'contaminating the purity of the Sugino bloodline with her filthy French blood.' Beh, assholes."

"And as for who Andromeda is, she's Michiru's computer." Misaki said, now fully conscious and suffering a headache from the chloroform, "And man, does she have tude'n'al problems."

"How can a computer have an attitude?" Wufei snorted, his lips curving into a superior smirk, "All it is is a bunch of ones and zeroes; no probability of emotions there."

"Actually, if Michiru's Andromeda is an A.I., it's a completely different scenario." Heero interjected as he saw his charge's normally uneasy expression slowly exchange itself for what was unmistakably anger.

In fact, she looked about ready to smack Wufei around for making such remarks about her creation.

Which she probably would have if Trowa hadn't speedily changed the subject (smooth move!)

"At any rate-" he said quickly as Noin forced Michiru to sit down as Sally dragged Wufei several feet away, "-we should still look into it. It's the only lead we have."

"Yeah, sounds like a plan." Duo nodded, bringing his pacing to a halt, "So…whereabouts in Hokkaido is this place?"

"W-we aren't allowed t-t-to speak the l-location out l-l-loud." Michiru said sulkily from her location, a little upset she couldn't reach Wufei and rough him up just little for bad-mouthing her computer, "Th-th-the house might b-be bugged."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oujosama, we're almost done…just a few more minutes." The attendant said nervously as she twisted Mimiru's hair into a proper bun and fastening it in place.

"Yeah, yeah…you said that over three hours ago, Shouka." She muttered dryly under her breath as decorative pins and combs were affixed, "Just do what you have to, okay? No need to lie."

Mimiru was currently in a furisode(2), embroidered with the family crest, being prepared for an audience with the one man she despised more then the purple hell that was Barney, Sugino Kiyoshiro – her great grandfather.

She had known to expect it with returning to this place, but that didn't mean she had to like it in any way shape or form.

"There…finished." Shouka said, bowing deeply and moving away to free the path to the shoji screens, "You are expected in the Assembly Hall, oujosama."

"Of course." Mimiru replied blandly, rising to her feet stiffly, and proceeding to the hall with the seven attendants in her wake, something she never had gotten used to and found rather unsettling.

The screens to the Assembly Hall we're opened by the youngest of her attendants, Itsuki -6- and Reiko -7-, and within Sugino Kiyoshiro and his wife Hisui awaited her.

Both bore the presence of gods, the kind bloodstained legends were written about; their features were hard, statuesque, detached and devoid of warmth; you could tell at a glance these were hateful people.

"Mimiru-san(3)…I am surprised to see you here." Kiyoshiro said, his voice crisp, calculating, and powerful, "As I not about to apologize you or that belligerent grandson of mine."

"I am fully aware of that, teiousama(4)." Mimiru replied, bowing her head respectfully, "However, circumstance beyond my control have forced an early homecoming…forcing me to break my vow."

"I see." Hisui remarked coolly, her dark eyes severe and unfeeling, "Correct me if I am mistaken, but I do believe the only reason you would possibly return here is if you thought your presence was a danger to your siblings."

"…you are correct ojoousama(5)." Mimiru replied, not lifting her head out of pure shame only to have it lifted for her by the all too self-satisfied Sugino Kiyoshiro.

"Well now…what an interesting turn of events." He murmured a smirk dancing on his thin lips, "Very well then. You shall be allowed to stay…on one condition…"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Everything is falling into place sir, just as you expected." Dorothy snickered in delight as she leaned back in her chair.

The Rousseau's, both Guillaume and his traumatized, currently catatonic, wife Fleur, and Dorothy Catalonia were aboard a private airship flying in the stratosphere above the Sugino Main House.

While Fleur lay in her bed as she had since the attack in Venice, Dorothy and Guillaume laid out the finer points of their well thought out plan.

"Mimiru is unwittingly acting a lure to draw them all into the open." Guillaume nodded, massaging the bridge of his nose, "And in one fell swoop…"

He brought his first and smashed a nearby display of porcelain deer, "I will wipe them and all they know of my crimes from this earth."

"Very good, Monsieur." Dorothy smirked, rising to her feet to gather two wine glasses and pour a Bordeaux, "Here's to success."

"To success." Guillaume agreed raising his glass in a toast with his subordinate.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure this is it?" Quatre asked warily as he shifted his heavy pack and stared at the stone stairs that vanished into the forest.

"Andromeda?" Michiru asked opening her laptop, "A-are we st-st-still on c-course?"

On the laptop screen was the CG face of a eighteen year old girl with hair that appeared the be made of the night sky and glowing moonbright skin.

"**Yes**, we're still on course." The A.I. known as Andromeda replied tetchily, folding her CG arms huffily, "You really think that with **_MY_** G.P.S. we could get lost? **Hell**, I could hack into a military satellite system if I wanted to."

"Now, now, Andy." Misaki said pacifyingly, "No need to get upset. Q was just asking is all."

"I'm so sure." Andromeda said grumpily, "I'm going into sleep mode. Don't bug me unless it's something life threatening, okay?"

And with that, her image disappeared and was replaced by a screensaver of lambs hopping clumsily over a fence.

"You were right." Wufei murmured while shaking his head in disgust, "She does have an attitude problem."

"She's nice when it's just Michi…butcha gotta be nice to 'Mom', tho'." Mitsuki sighed giving a small shrug.

"Well at least we know where we are." Noin said, trying to look on the bright side, "And if we find Mimiru when we get there, we can grill her on why she left."

"Affirmative." Heero nodded in agreement, "She may be a double agent for Rousseau."

"I don't think so." Trowa said, voicing his doubts, "She was the one he initially wanted out of the picture to begin with, and you must remember he killed her mother."

"I highly doubt she would want anything to do with him." Quatre chimed in concurrence, "But that still doesn't explain why she returned to the Main House…if she returned there at all that is."

"We shall find out in due time I suppose." Sally muttered as they began the climb up the stairs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Why did I agree to this again?"_ Mimiru thought to herself as she cinched the sleeveless mini kimono around her waist in preparation of what was to come.

What was she preparing herself for? Why for combat of course. Against whom you ask? Why against Sugino Kazuma – who else? And why is Mimiru, a dancer, preparing herself for battle against her cousin? Because that was the set condition made by her great-grandfather Kiyoshiro of course.

But why fighting? Well…let's just say the Sugino Clan didn't reach it's current status by playing nice-nice. It's founder was a ruthless warlord by the name of Sugino Akuma who mercilessly slaughtered no less than 50 enemy lords to reach empiric status and keep it that way.

Once reaching the position of emperor, he decreed that all those of his lineage, by law of birthright, had to master at least one physical art or be disowned. And clan laws being absolute, all members followed the tradition which was now being upheld by Kiyoshiro to this day.

While Mimiru knew **_a_** physical art, Capoeria(6), she was no where near mastery and had only used it in dance routines and never on another human being…okay that was a lie - she had used it **twice** on other human beings...but once was on Duo when she was in a mindless, fever-driven stupor and the other was self defense so they really didn't count.

Now as she sat in her room, fully aware of Kazuma's size, his mastery over not **one**, not **_two_**, but **_three_** physical arts, she couldn't help but think to herself-

"_I am so screwed." _

"Oujosama? Have you readied yourself?" Shouka called, knocking gently on the shoji screen, "I have been sent to collect you."

"I am as ready as I'll ever be, Shouka-san." Mimiru replied dryly, dusting off her loose leggings as she rose to her feet thinking, _"Let the bloodbath begin."_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How much further?" Misaki asked, gazing up the seemingly endless flight of stone steps, "We've been walking for nearly an hour."

"O-only about f-f-fifteen more minutes." Michiru replied, slightly red in the face from the non-stop walking.

"Oh, good." Mikura replied, looking relieved, "Cuz I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I'm really getting hungry."

"…how can you think about food at a time like thi-!" Mitsuki's infuriated shrieking was cut short by a loud groan emanating from her midsection.

"Hypocrite." Duo snickered, shaking his head as they continued on their way towards the top of the stairs.

Fifteen they reached their appointed destination…only to find it as silent as the grave and, apparently deserted.

Or at least, that's what they thought until a young girl of about twelve dashed frantically along the walkway with two elder attendants.

"Hey, you!" Wufei barked authoritively, making all three screech to a halt, "Where is everyone?"

"Good sir, we musn't dally." The youngest replied apologetically, "Oujosama is about to do combat with Kazuma-sama in the courtyard and we must be present if there are any injuries to tend to."

"Oujo…sama…" Michiru mumbled eyes wide with fright, "Th-that's…Mimiru's going to…we have to stop her! Sh-she doesn't have a ch-ch-chance against Kazuma! She's going to be killed!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) _**oujosama**_ - Princess/or a way of addressing a girl of high standing.

(2) **_furisode_** - a very elaborate formal kimono worn only at special events.

(3) **_Mimiru-san_** - this shows how impersonal the Sugino family truly is; by using the -san honorific it shows the depth of Kiyoshiro's detachment from his great-grandaughter,

(4) **_teiousama_** - Monarch/King/or My Lord; an honorific used for men of high status; by using this honorific, Mimiru shows her detachment from her great-grandfather.

(5) _**ojoousama**_ - Queen/or My Lady; an honorific used for women of high status; by using this honorific, Mimiru shows her detachment from her great-grandmother.

(6) **_Capoeria_** - a Brazilian martial art whose name translates literally into "Dance of War". Developed initially by African slaves in Brazil, starting in the Colonial period. It is marked by deft, tricky movements often played on the ground or completely inverted. It also has a strong acrobatic component in some versions and is always played with music.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: Oh me oh my! The sparks are gonna fly! Mimiru about to be beaten to a bloody pulp while Rousseau and Dorothy circle overhead waiting to trap the G-Boy's and Sugino Girl's like rats. What will happen next? R&R to find out if I off one o' my main charas!)


	30. Mission Brief: Flatline

(A/N: Hey there! This one took me awhile, eh? But ooo well! It starrts out serious and ends on a funny note! YAY! Back to the funny! And now My beloved peeps...READ ON!)

* * *

The guards and their wards entered the main courtyard and were greeted to the sight of a man almost twice Mimiru's stature slamming powerful punches at her chest as she quickly slapped them away before they reached their goal. 

"_Damnitdamnitdamnit!"_ Mimiru thought in alarm as she whipped around to fiercely strike another punch away from her spine, _"Kazuma keeps switching out fighting styles on me! I can't count out his rhythms!"_

Kazuma shifted his stance completely and, without any kind of warning, rushed Mimiru, grabbed her around the waist and leg and hoisted her into the air.

"Oh god…" she groaned, knowing what was going coming and prepping herself mentally for it as Kazuma flipped her upside down in preparation to slam her head into the ground.

Or at least he tried to…because at the moment of contact, she braced herself by slamming both hands against the ground and absorbed the force of the impact with her arms and used it against Kazuma when she sent her foot rocketing into his chin.

Kazuma staggered backwards, temporarily thrown off balance at Mimiru's first blow and took a few moments to regain his composure as she righted herself.

"Okay…got a lucky opening there." She muttered, shifting to her left as he glared at her viciously, "That's not gonna happen again."

* * *

"You actually** hit** me." Kazuma remarked, licking away some of the blood that oozed from his lip, "I wasn't expecting that, oujosama. However…I will **_not_** be so careless again." 

"_Of course you wont."_ she thought to herself as he shot towards her and with a single strike to the chest sent her skywards then tumbling over and over again as she slammed into the dirt.

"Ugh…uh, th-that hurt…" Mimiru groaned, forcing herself shakily up on all fours, "Man…felt that one."

She looked over her shoulder at Kazuma, who sneered at her superiorly and, wiping blood from the corner of her mouth, she rose unsteadily to her feet and got into position.

"What…do you think you're **doing?**" Kazuma sneered as she staggered, "If you continue to fight, you are going to **_die_**, oujosama."

"_It doesn't matter."_ She thought to herself as she felt excruciating pain begin to radiate from her heart, _"I cannot allow myself to be disgraced…not as long as their lives still hang in the balance."_

"Well then…I suppose I'll just have to put you down and make sure you stay there this time!" Kazuma snarled, rushing her again, targeting her heart again.

"Only get…one shot…" Mimiru murmured blearily, bringing her index and middle fingers in front of her face to focus her mind on the target in front of her.

As he threw his punch, Mimiru ducked low so she was on both hands and began pelting his torso, face and legs with violent kicks as she spun on her hands like a top.

But it wasn't enough to force him down because he managed to grab a hold of her right ankle and hurl her into a stone statue of Bodhisatva.

* * *

He was bloodied, bruised (eeew, whadda mess) and furious and everyone knew it because he let loose and almighty roar and charged the insensible girl…only to be stopped by three attendants and all five G-Boys. 

"Kazuma-san…" Hisui said severely, rising from her seat to accost her great-nephew, "…we allowed you to be the one to face Mimiru-san on the condition you would not let your personal grudge against her father influence your actions."

"Ojoousama, please let me explain-" Kazuma begged only to be swiftly cut off by venomous glare from Kiyoshiro.

"You will hold your tongue, Kazuma-san." he growled superciliously, "Gather your things. You are to leave the Main House immediately."

"…yes…teiousama." Kazuma muttered, looking and sounding utterly defeated as the Gundam group gathered up Mimiru's cataleptic body while everyone else focused on the now exiled Kazuma.

"Do you really think it's wise to move her after she's sustained so many injuries?" Quatre asked worriedly as they darted down the stone stairs.

"Not in the slightest actually." Sally replied brightly, "But I'm not leaving her in that place for another second. We'll treat what we can in the SUV."

"Well, we better hurry it up." Duo said with an agitated edge in his voice, "She doesn't have a pulse. Aren't people supposed to have pulses?"

"Maxwell, if that's joke, it's a really bad one." Wufei growled at the braided pilot, instinctively reaching for Mimiru's wrist.

Unfortunately though, Duo **_wasn't_** lying; she **had** no pulse; Mimiru had gone into cardiac arrest. Which meant they had exactly 4 minutes to get her heart started before her brain began shutting down.

* * *

By some small miracle, they had reached the bottom of the steps by then, so Duo and Sally began CPR while everyone else ran for the SUV. 

Thankfully, within about thirty seconds of starting, they got a faint, but steady pulse, which let them know that she was alive, if not conscious.

They then carefully loaded her into the van so Sally could get her stabilized and so Heero could haul their asses out of there.

"Remember, the moment she wakes up, we deep fry her ass." Duo said as they bumped along, "We grill her until she gives us the skimmy on why she did what she did."

"Not **too** crispy though." Mitsuki commented with a smile, "I never did like my meat burnt."

"I'll take mine rare with a side of fries." Misaki requested with a giggle, "And a large coke."

"Girls, now honestly." Quatre scolded giving them a chiding look, "Now of all times?"

"Just trying to lighten the mood." Mikura shrugged, leaning back against the metallic wall of the van, "Ya know you can really be a butthead, Q."

"Did…did you just call Quatre Rebarba Winner a **_butthead?_**" Trowa asked in disbelief, looking as though he couldn't decide whether to laugh or scold.

"I haven't been called a butthead since…well, ever." Quatre blinked in surprise, rather than looking hurt as one would think he would.

"Well…maybe not to your **face.**" Mitsuki smirked, folding her arms over her lap and snuggling down in a corner with a smug expression dancing on her mug.

* * *

"Sir, they're on the move." Dorothy reported from the observation deck, "Shall we make our play?" 

"Not just yet." Rousseau replied vaguely over the intercom, "Not all the pieces are on the board just yet."

"…oh." Dorothy smirked, twisting a strand of hair around her fingers, "You're waiting on him. I get it. "

"Exactemente." Guillaume replied, a smile in his voice, "Once the knight is in proper position, I shall be ready to take the board." (enough with the CHESS references already! it's making my brain hurt!)

"Checkmate."(AAUGH!) Dorothy snickered, "You and your love for chess is truly admirable, sir. I should love to play you once all is said and done."

"But of course, ma Cherie. I look forward to it." He replied before cutting the connection.

"The plot thickens." Dorothy murmured, a smile on her lips, leaning back in her seat to watch the light on the monitor that was the G-Boy's/Sugino's SUV scoot along.

"I wonder how long it will take him to make his way on the board?"(when will it all end?-teariing out chunks of hair-) Dorothy wondered aloud, rising from her chair and moving forward until she was directly in front of the screen.

Covering the slowly moving, glowing red dot with her hand, she grinned wickedly, pressing her cheek against the cool glass.

"I do hate waiting but…the anticipation makes the inevitable outcome so much more satisfying somehow." Dorothy murmured, "…the game can't start without you, Zechs. So don't make my waiting all for nothing."

* * *

"**_Nnn_**…" 

"Well, look who finally decided to wake up." Duo smirked as Mimiru's eyes worked their way open, "Welcome back sleeping beauty."

"Wh-where th' hell…am I, Maxwell?" she rasped through gritted teeth, trying to sit up, only to be forced back down by Trowa.

"In the back of an SUV and on your way back to the base for medical treatment of course." Noin said calmly from behind the driver's seat.

"What were you doing there?" Heero asked coolly, not beating about the bush, "Who are you working for? Are you a double agent?"

"Oh, but of **course**." Mimiru said dryly, glaring weakly up at the Perfect Soldier, "And my code name is Yuran- Yuran **Idjit.**"

"This is serious Mimiru." Quatre said looking down at her, "Are you working for Guillaume Rousseau or not?"

"Oh, I just got my ass handed to me on a silver platter with a parsley garnish just to ensure you guys would stay safe and I'm a double agent, huh?" Mimiru snorted cynically, "Yeah, that makes a shitload a sense."

"Wait, what?" Misaki asked, drawing a blank, "I'm not sure I follow."

"The only way they would lend me the use of their private police force is if I performed an exhibition match with Kazuma." Mimiru said bluntly, "And as you can see, he cleaned my clock."

"Ah, I see." Wufei nodded, "Extra protection for your family. I understand why you would take the attack on Misaki-san personally, but you could have simply voiced your feelings."

"Things are never as simple as that." Trowa muttered, "If they were, she wouldn't have had to go to such extremes in the first place."

* * *

"Very true." Sally nodded, wiping her hands on a handkerchief, "I'm very pleased to report that from what I've been able to assess, there will be no permanent damage to your legs." 

"Good news, huh?" Duo snickered, "If that dude had aimed just right, your career'd be over right then and there, Twinkletoes."

Mimiru's already pale face went even whiter for a moment as the thought of being unable to dance ever again flooded through her head.

"…didn't even stop to think about that one didja?" Mikura snickered, patting her elder sibling's forehead.

"So reckless." Noin sighed affectionately, "Duo is definitely rubbing off on you, and in the worst way possible."

"Hey, I resent that." Duo said sulkily, "It's Heero that our resident Kamikaze Boy. He's the one who's rubbing off on her if anybody."

"You sure about that…Shinigami-san?" Mitsuki asked tauntingly from her corner, a smirk appearing on her face.

"Shut up. Dammit, why does everybody gang up on me?" Duo grumbled, drawing his knees to his chest.

"Because you're so easy to provoke, that's why." Heero remarked, a smirk appearing on his lips.

* * *

Sometime later, they arrived on base and with the help of four Aides, Mimiru was shipped to the Infirmary…and was, to her horror, greeted by the Mad Doctors. 

At first, she thought maybe it was the blow to the head making her imagine things…but when they hadn't disappeared after several seconds and one of the "fabrications of her deluded mind" actually came up and touched her shoulder, she knew she was sadly mistaken.

"Don't worry about a thing, Sugino-jo." Doctor S said cheerfully, prosthetic hand clanking loudly, "We'll have you patched up in no time."

"Oh dear god, **no**…anyone but you..." she whispered, color draining from her face, flat-lining at the exact same time and falling back against the gurney.

"**_CLEAR!_**" Professor G called smilingly, juicing her with a defibrillator, restarting her heart and rudely restoring her to consciousness.

"Almost lost you there." Doctor S said smile, "Now then, lets just have a looksie at what's wrong, shall we?"

"The hospital is supposed to make you feel better, not wanna die." Mimiru groaned, hiding her face under a very sterile smelling pillow.

But this small feathery sanctuary was soon ripped away by Master O who was trying to get a better look at the head injury on the back of her skull…but couldn't he have done that anyway? Without removing the Pillow-barrier between them?

"…sadist…" she mumbled under her breath as pain radiated from where Master O touched the same spot over and over again.

"Whuh-oh." Instructor H said sheepishly, sounding a lot like a kid who had just been caught doing something bad, "I guess I shouldn't have poked that, huh? Oh well, a few stitches will take care of that."

"Po, wherever you are, save me from these lunatics...please?" Mimiru begged from her prone position on the gurney as she felt her mind go fuzzy as her heart stopped for a third time.

"**CLEAR!**" Professor G yelled out far too cheerfully for his own good, making obvious to even a casual onlooker that he loved his job of electrocuting people.

* * *

From her private office on base, Sally was getting resettled when a Page knocked on her door. 

"I'm surprised, ma'am." He remarked, eyes a bit wider than they should've been, at least in Sally's professional opinion, "You actually left that girl alone with them, huh? You actually trust them?"

"Eh?" Duo blinked behind her, moving a large stack of papers he had been harangued into moving for the doctor.

"Trust who?" Wufei pressed, getting directly in the Page's face, as was his way, "Who's on call today?"

"Th-The Mad Doctors, sir." The poor page managed to squeak out before fainting dead away on the floor.

Sally dropped the coffee mug she was holding and the papers in Duo's arms scattered about Po's office in a miniature hurricane as all three ran faster than should be humanly possible to the ICU.

* * *

"I w-wonder if Mimiru's feeling b-b-better." Michiru remarked, lying on her stomach in the same room she had had on base as before. 

"Hey, these guys have the best medical staff money can buy." Mikura shrugged from her spot in Michiru's chair.

"Yeah, she'll be fine." Misaki nodded in agreement, legs swinging off the edge of the desk.

"So don't sweat it." Mitsuki chimed from her place in a comfortable corner by a heating vent.

"I hafta agree with them, Mom." Andromeda concurred, having popped out of sleep mode upon reaching the base, "All that stress is bad for your heart."

* * *

(A/N: Mimiru get's patched up _-finally-_ by a doctor with an actual medical degree -_not that those five don't but really, would you trust them with a scalpel?-_. And after Zechs arrives on base, Guillaume springs his plan into motion. What is his grand master plan? R&R) 


	31. Mission Brief: Mission Terminated

(A/N: Hey all! First off, some news: I have split it off with my boy friend; were just friends again -things got too weird- And now, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

"I cannot **_BELIEVE_** you!" Sally shouted, pacing back and forth in front of the mad doctors, "Seven times – you made her heart stop **SEVEN** times! **_ONCE_** is more than enough, but **SEVEN?**" 

"You can't blame us for her will to live or lack there of." Instructor H said pointedly, pulling on the end of his mustache.

"**_WHY DO YOU THINK HER HEART KEPT STOPPING IN THE_ FIRST PLACE _YOU _TWIT?**" she shrieked, slamming a fist down on the desk behind her.

"Umm…**bye!**" Doctor J said bright, shooting like a rocket out of Sally's office and down the hall, the other five madmen hot on his heels.

"**GET _BACK_ HERE!**" Sally shrieked, tearing after them, nearly knocking poor Heero's legs out from under him (jumped out of the way just in time) as she passed.

"Not bloody likely, woman." Master O called back quickly, grabbing a Page and using him as a human shield as Sally pelted urine samples, that yet another Page was carting, at him.

"Eh?" Quatre said curiously as he poked his head out of his room to see what all the noise was, "What's goin-**_WHOA_ THERE!**"

He barely managed to wrench his skull back into his quarters as the Mad Doctors and the maddened Sally rocketed past.

The heir to the Winner fortune stared after the procession for a moment…blinking as the group rounded a corner and out of sight.

"What on **_earth?_**" he mused, quirking an eyebrow, moving to follow before stopping himself, "You know something? On second thought, I don't even want to know."

* * *

"Hey Milliardo…what's the occasion? Am I dying?" Mimiru snorted wryly as she accepted the bouquet of white roses from the older man, before looking up at Duo (currently gritting his teeth) and remarking, "They lied to me, didn't they? I am dying, aren't I?" 

"I'm not sure. Perhaps." Milliardo remarked smirking, "I've come to the conclusion must put something in these flowers that inspire one to purchase them for the sick."

"Yeah, that must be it." Duo muttered rolling his eyes from his seat on the edge of his ward's gurney, "I mean, who in their right mind would get this girl flowers?"

"Hmm…well, there's my dad…my ex's…" Mimiru ticked off on her fingers, looking very thoughtful and slightly self-satisfied as she did so.

"Her fans and well wishers…" Milliardo continued, eyes dancing, "…but I suppose they don't count because not all of them are in their right mi-"

"**Alright!**" Duo growled snippily, shooting a withering look at his all too smug looking charge, "You've made your point."

Both the bedridden teen and former White Fang leader exchanged a look and shook their heads, tiny smirks on their lips.

"Honestly Maxwell, what crawled up your ass and died?" Mimiru snorted, lips curving into a evil smile, "And to think Milliardo, he used to be such fun."

"What was that?" Duo cried, looking ready for a fight, "**_Used_** to be fun? I'm still fun! How **dare **you imply I'm not fu-!"

"As always, you're far too easy to provoke." Milliardo snickered, patting Duo on the head as he rose from his chair, "Now if you don't mind, I'll be giving my report Noin now."

With that, he left the infirmary with Mimiru chuckling and Duo glaring at his back.

"You have way too many buttons to push, dude." Mimiru remarked, pushing the button that made the gurney recline, "You shouldn't let people get too you so easy...no matter how many hours of fun it makes for people like me and him."

"Have I mentioned that I hate you?" Duo grumbled groutchilly, palming his chin.

* * *

"Sir, Marquise is on the board." Dorothy said, speaking into the intercom, "We are ready to proceed." 

"Understood." Guillaume replied, static following his response, "Begin Operation Gas Chamber."

"At once sir." Dorothy smirked, cutting the connection and rising to her feet to face about twenty armed commandoes, "You heard the man. Let's lock and load."

The men readied their weapons and prepared to be briefed on the details of their operations.

"For this mission, we've decided to duplicate an act the Nazi's thought up during WW2." Dorothy said simply, "In your supplies, you'll find several bombs which are to be placed around Victoria's air ducts."

"These explosives are not typical in that they do not release a run of the mill explosion or tear gas charge." She pressed, "They discharge a very potent nerve gas. After we've retreated to a safe distance these bombs shall be detonated."

"Also in your supplies you shall find gas masks." Dorothy continued, "After the bombs are detonated, you are to don the masks and infiltrate the base, disposing of anyone you come across. Any questions?"

No one spoke.

"Then let's be off." Dorothy smirked, "Monsieur Rousseau will be meeting us at Victoria. He wishes to witness this first hand so this mission will NOT be a failure, understood?"

"Yes ma'am." The soldiers replied mechanically as the prepared themselves for a genecide.

* * *

"Have they made their move yet?" 

"It appears that way."

"Should we move into position, then?"

"Affirmative. Don't let them set foot within these walls unless it's in handcuffs."

"Understood."

"Don't you worry. We'll make'm work for it."

* * *

Dorothy, decked out in fatigues, led the first wave of foot soldiers towards the base while Guillaume watched with the second and third waves on the hill half a mile away from Victoria. 

Dorothy smirked to herself; her timing was flawless. She was going to plant all the bombs while the guards were switching out meaning none of her soldiers would be seen; it was fool proof!

_**-ch-klk-**_

"On your feet, Catalonia."

Or at least…that what she had thought as, with a sinking feeling, she turned her head slightly to see, to her absolute horror, her entire militia laid out on the ground unconscious and a gun barrel pointing at her head, held by none other than the Perfect Soldier himself: Heero Yuy.

She slowly complied to the stone-faced teen's order, feeling absolutely numb, shock intensifying as Guillaume Rousseau came into sight, bound in fetters and held at gun point by Wufei.

The second and third waves of soldiers had been easily taken care of by Milliardo and Trowa and now lay scattered around the hillside like a trash bag a dog had gotten a hold of.

Fleur Rousseau had been liberated from the ship by Quatre and Duo and was being carried, unbound, to the Infirmary to receive treatment for her Catatonic state.

* * *

Guillauma and Dorothy were of course, totally floored; they thought their plan was fool proof. 

"…**_how?_**" Dorothy muttered eyes glassy and unfocused, "How can this be?"

"My plan was flawless." Guillaume mumbled, "Wipe out all those with any knowledge of my crimes in one fell swoop. When did you find out?"

"In December, shortly after you had one of your operatives come to…retrieve the microchip." Trowa replied curtly.

"Y'know, ya really shouldn't let those guys carry PDA's." Duo smirked, waggling a finger at the elderly man, "We were able to get the low down on your whole plan, relay it to the girls…and get their cooperation."

"You…you don't mean to tell me-!" Dorothy sputtered, looking up in utter disbelief, "She **didn't-!**"

"Get beaten up on purpose? Why yes…yes I did." Mimiru remarked, being wheeled into the room by Sally, "Getting the added protection of my family's secret police was just a perk."

"Everything was carefully calculated." Mitsuki said calmly, taking a seat next to Quatre, "Every move we made was plotted out to make it seem as though we didn't suspect your next move."

"Do you know how **_hard_** it was to walk into that bathroom knowing **you'd** be there?" Misaki asked exasperatedly, "Wiffle Ball had to threaten me with **_death_** to get me to go!"

"What…did I say…about **calling** me that?" Wufei hissed, his knuckles cracking as he drew his hand into a tight fist.

"At any rate, it was all a set up from the get go." Mikura said dismissively, leaning tiredly against Trowa (she hasn't slept in two days) "Thanks in large part to our tech experts, Heero and Michi."

Heero, who was leaning against the doorjamb, gave a nod, and Michiru squeaked and tried to hide behind a cabinet only to be dragged out by the hand by Heero, who gave her a weird look when she almost fainted (GAWD, figure it out already!)

"Now then, lieutenant?" Noin said officiously, "Read them their rights and prepare to transport them to the L-9 Containment Facility."

"Roger." The officer said authoritively, striding forward as everyone else, save for thirty armed guards, left the room.

* * *

"Ah-uh-um-h-h-**_hand_**…" Michiru squeaked as Heero led her down the hall, "H-h-h-**hand**…h-**_holding_**…ah-**eek**-err…" 

Heero stared at her beet red face inquisitively and finally it dawned on him that he was still holding her hand…and wondered if maybe perhaps he had been holding on too tightly and had injured her and brought the appendage close to his face for inspection…which sent Michiru spiraling into another fainting fit.

With confusion creasing his face, he hefted his charge onto his back and headed off into the direction of her room.

"_**Whew**_…I'm glad that's over.." Mitsuki sighed, slumped against the foot of Quatre's bed.

"Me too." Quatre chimed in agreement, "This whole situation has been strenuous on us all."

"Hey…wait a minute." Misaki said suddenly, "I just thought of something."

"Call the media." Wufei snorted, rolling his eyes sarcastically as Misaki heaved a bookend at his head.

"**Shut it**, Wiffle Ball!" she growled, "Anyway, what I was saying is, now that this whole mess is sorted out…does that mean…well…you know…"

"Oh. I get it." Mikura muttered, staring at the floor dismally.

"What?" Trowa asked, instantly picking up on her bleak feelings, "What is it?"

"Well, your mission's over…isn't it?" she asked sullenly, "You aren't our bodyguards anymore, are you?"

Quatre, Trowa and Wufei drew a blank: they weren't entirely sure…were they?…or weren't they?

* * *

In the Infirmary, Mimiru had just posed Duo the exact question and he could give her an exact answer. 

"I'm not…sure." He said slowly, "But hey, that doesn't mean we can't pal around and stuff!"

"I guess." Mimiru replied, choosing to stare at the airspace in front of her gurney rather than at him, "And I mean, we have the secret police now so…"

"Yup. No loose ends left untied." Duo said giving a thumbs up, "And hey, we can still hang out whenever. Believe me, we don't get missions like this often anymore."

"Yup." Mimiru replied, smiling slightly, "Gotta love Lena. It'll be great having Dad back full time, too."

"I'll bet." Duo snickered, remembering the pig-pile on Christmas morning as Noin entered the room.

"Duo?" Noin said, looking all business, "I know this is short notice, but you, Quatre, Trowa, Heero and Wufei are to report to the flight deck immediately."

"So I guess this is it Maxwell." Mimiru replied, holding out her hand, which Duo took in a firm handshake before turning to leave the leave the room.

"Seeya later, Mimi." He said with a Devil-May-Care grin, waving over his shoulder.

"Later Duo(1)." Mimiru replied offhandedly, smirking as Duo crashed into the doorjamb.

"What…did you just-" he mumbled, sounding absolutely flabbergasted until Noin grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off.

"**OW_OW_OW_OW_OW!**" he cried out painfully.

"I said now." Noin remarked.

* * *

(1) Duo - Mimiru, in this entire fic, much to Duo's great annoyance, has never called him by name; not even once; you'll notice even Heero and Wufei call Duo by name occasionally...never her; she does it just to be annoying -and she's quite successful.

* * *

(A/N: The next chapters are set in the future. All the charas are now nine years old. How have they changed? Who's doing what? And who arranged the reunion? Give you three guesses and a cookie if you're right. R&R mah peeps.) 


	32. Civilian Life: Reunion

(A/N: Hey there! Wuzzap peeps? Remember now, all charas have aged nine years in this chappie. So the Sugino girls & the G-Boys are 24 and Sally, Noin and Zechs are 28. Now that all trivialities are out of the way, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

"Dammit, of all the days to be late." Wufei growled under his breath, brow furrowed in annoyance as he sped along the freeway which was surprisingly devoid of cars for this time of day. 

Unfortunately for him his "employer", I.E. the man he worked for while doing reconnaissance on one of his co-workers, had kept him later than usual, so he was late for the reunion that the Vice Foreign Minister was hosting.

And it would seem his run of bad luck continued to get worse as a set of familiar blue and red light began flashing in his rearview mirror and a siren began to wail.

"Fantastic." Wufei muttered, pulling over to the side of the road and the police car pulling to a stop behind him.

A uniformed officer stepped up to his window and tapped on the glass, which, with an aggravated groan, he slid down with a press of a button.

"License and registration please?" the voice said crisply from behind mirrored lenses, her hand extended; yes, much to Wufei's annoyance, it was a female officer – his day was going that badly.

Opening the glove compartment, he retrieved the paperwork and pushed it into her hand a little more forcefully than necessary.

After looking it over carefully, the policewoman returned it to him and leaned against the window frame.

"Sir, do realize you were going twenty over the speed limit?" she asked authoritively, tapping her index finger against her elbow.

"No, I didn't…**_ma'am_**." Wufei forced out through gritted teeth, wanting to get a move on as soon as possible.

"The speed limit here is seventy five, Wiffle Ball." The officer continued, "Now I'm going to let you off with a warning this time as it's your first-"

"**What did you just call me?**" Wufei snapped, glare forming instantaneously on his face as a grin formed on the policewoman's.

"Why, Wiffle Ball, I'm hurt. You don't remember me?" she asked, removing her mirrored sunglasses to reveal green eyes, "I remember you."

* * *

"**_Misaki!_**" Wufei gaped, jaw dropping as he finally got a full view of the woman's face, "Y-you're a **cop?** Is this some kind of joke?" 

"Nice to see you too, Wufei." Misaki smirked, replacing the shades on her face, "I never thought I'd see they day when I'd hear you call me ma'am. Ahhhh…music to my ears."

"Oh, shut it woman." Wufei growled, feeking the beginnings of a headache setting in, "How in blue blazes did you become a police officer?"

"Well, I'm actually on the S.W.A.T. Team." Misaki said, correcting him, "The guy who usually runs this beat had to duck out early because his wife went into labor. I had today off, so I offered to-"

"I **_get_** it!" Wufei cried, throwing up his hands in exasperation, "But who in their right **_mind_** would let you be a police officer?"

"Watch it." Misaki snorted, patting the window frame, "And anyway, it's a story best saved for the reunion. Heh. Wait'll you see Michiru. You won't believe it."

"Why, what is she? A topless dancer?" Wufei asked wryly, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Don't be a pervert." Misaki said with a frown, pushing herself away from the car, "At any rate, you better watch yourself because next time, I will give you a ticket. See you at the reunion."

"Yeah, see you." Wufei muttered as she walked back to her patrol car and pulled out.

* * *

"**_HOMIGOD!_**" Relena shrieked, flying away from the door, "Y-you…you…you cut your hair." 

"Take a pill. It's just a few inches." Duo scowled, fingering his ponytail that now only reached the middle of his back, "It was getting really ratty. Don't need over react, sheesh."

"But…but…I mean…" Relena stammered as he strode past her, "I mean…it's just so…I mean…"

"Look, I had split ends." Duo said shortly, "You don't need to go on a saliva spewing tangent just because I hacked off a few inches."

"**Duo!**" Mitsuki whooped, clocking him around the neck, "You're **_here!_** **AWESOME!** Now if everybody **_else_** would just show. Mikura was the only one to show up on **time!** **_Ha!_**"

"Nice to see you too." Duo wheezed, "But I kinda need to breath, so do ya think you could…?"

"**Oh!** Right, sorry!" Mitsuki snickered, releasing him from the headlock, "You mean you still do that? Hey...Relena, what's the matter?"

"…nothing." Relena said numbly, still eyeing Duo's shorter hair.

"If you're sure then." Mitsuki shrugged, leading Duo into the foyer where her sister was waiting.

"So, I heard you were excepted as the Japanese Olympic Soccer Team Striker." Duo commented with a grin, "Congrats."

"Thankie kindly." Mitsuki smirked, "Coach Niigata was so proud. But all that aside, what's been up with you?"

"Oh the usual." Duo replied offhandedly, "The upkeep of peace, love, justice…all that good, Sailor Moonish Preventer crap."

"Gotta love Relena." Mitsuki laughed, shaking her head as the two entered the vestibule.

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey." Mikura smiled, rising from her seat on the couch to grab Duo in a hug, "You look fantastic! How have you been?" 

"Hey yourself." Duo said with a grin, taking in her figure which was far more toned than before, "I've been doing okay for myself. Howabout you? What're you up to these days?"

"Oh, I run my own private dojo for the practice of kendo." Mikura replied tranquilly as she watch Mitsuki steal her seat, "It's been wonderful, passing on what I know."

"I'm sure." An overly calm voice commented from the doorway, having overheard the entire conversation, "I dare say, I've never seen you look happier."

"Trowa!" Mikura replied with a smirk as the unibanged man crossed the room to greet each guest with a hug, "You look great! How's life been treating you and Catherine?"

"Very well." Trowa said languidly, glad to be able to stretch his legs after such a long car ride, "The circus is booming and, if all goes well, we should be able to add more rides by spring."

"Beautiful." Quatre remarked as he, Noin and Sally entered the room, the latter two looking very preggers.

"Well, well…what's cookin' good lookin'?" Duo smirked, nodding at Sally and Noin's unbelievably round bellies, "Heh, as if I didn't know."

"Very funny, Duo." Sally smirked, rolling her eyes at the Gundam pilot as she sat down heavily in an easy chair.

"Hilarious." Noin said sarcastically, "By the way, Milliardo won't be coming. He's on L-9 today and won't be back until late tomorrow."

"Too bad." Trowa shrugged, "How are things going between the two of you? You and Milliardo I mean?"

"Do you really have to ask?" a voice said from the doorway, "They're obviously getting along well enough if they did the horizontal tango."

* * *

"Michiru!" Quatre said in obvious surprise as he took in her corporate takeover business suit, "Your stutter…" 

"Gone." She said smiling broadly, twirling in a circle, "Take one guess at what I do for a living?"

"Who needs too?" Noin smirked, "Your company is famous all across the world for those cute little humanoid lapt-I mean palmtops."

"Hee." Michiru grinned, "I can't take all the credit. Duo's the one who introduced me to Chobits."

"Another one of Maxwell's comic book fanaticism's I presume?" Heero commented as he entered the vestibule, dusting off, what appeared to be, heavy amounts of gunpowder.

"Yuy-san." Michiru smiled, going over to him and giving him a hug, "It's so good to see you…but do you mid explaining why you're covered in-"

"Classified." He muttered mysteriously (he just blew up a car for all those who are wondering) as he wiped some smudges off his face, "Did I miss any?"

"On your cheek." Sally said pointing to her cheekbone indicatively.

"Just there." Quatre said sheepishly, pointing higher on his own when Heero missed the mark.

"Oh, here I'll get it." Michiru sighed, riffling a kleenex out of her pocket and wiping it off with a single swipe.

"Thank you." Heero replied with a small incline of the head.

"Man, we are **_so_** late!"

"We wouldn't **be** so late if you hadn't decided to **_pull me over!_**"

* * *

Wufei and Misaki stormed into the room, in the midst of an argument so stupid that Wufei should have caught wind of the idiocy long ago and ducked out. 

"**Hey**, I was just doing my **_job_**, Wiffle Ball." Misaki said evenly, smoothing back her hair while a smirk crept onto her face, "Besides, if **you** hadn't been speeding to this party just to see lil' ole _**me**_ again, none of this would have happened."

"Do you mind repeating that?" Wufei snarled following after his former charge as she crossed the room to pat Sally's tummy.

"Ooo, who's the dad?" She asked, ignoring the now incensed Wufei, her smile growing as she felt a tiny kick against her hand.

"Edward Klein." Sally grinned, "You know, that really cute delivery guy from way back when?" (only just introduced him; s'alright if yer confuzzled)

"Oh **_yeeeah_**…yeah, he was fine!" Mitsuki grinned from her spot on the couch, "Pretty eyes, ripped arms, tight a-"

"We **get **it, we **get **it." Duo said, shaking his head while laughing loudly.

"It's good to see something never change." Mimiru drawled from the doorway, the last to arrive, "It's nice too know you're all as boy crazy as ever."

"Like you're any exception to the rule." Trowa remarked smirkingly, "As I recall, you had quite the list going when last we met."

"**_Had _**is the keyword in that sentence." She retored, "After Sky, I took a three year break from guys to focus on my dancing…and Capoeria to shut the Main House up."

"Of course." Mikura nodded, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

* * *

"You know, she does have a point about the boy crazy thing." Michiru said thoughtfully, "Back in the day, I had **such** a monster crush on you, Yuy-san." 

"What?" Heero asked, eyes going wide with shock, "You did? When did y-surely you must be joking."

"Heero…it was totally obvious." Noin said sheepishly as Duo twisted his ponytail around his fingers and snickered quietly.

"Everybody knew." Mitsuki nodded, "And Mikura, don't you dare go acting all innocent either. I know for a **_fact_ **you liked Trowa back then."

"So what if I did?" she shrugged as Trowa spat out the mouthful of carrots he had been chewing, "Oh, let's just get this out in the open now since we're on the topic: who here had a crush on their bodyguards nine years ago?"

Four hands shot up while Mimiru's hand stayed right where it was with the ladle in the punch bowl.

"You're the only one huh?" Duo snorted, rolling his eyes, "Figures."

"She already mentioned that after she was forced to separate from her boyfriend that she stopped dating for awhile, Duo." Quatre said with a smile, a little shellshocked that Mitsuki hadn't playing with him back then and actually had liked him.

"Or did you just happen to let that little piece of information slip your mind?" Heero asked, having recovered slightly, but was now looking at his former ward a little strangely.

"What's the matter? Are your poh widdle feewing hut?" Mimiru asked mockingly, "Should I call a therapist?"

Duo merely scowled at her, but made no comment.

"At any rate, let's get things moving." Wufei said, abruptly changing the subject, "We have a lot to cath up on and not a lot of time in which to do it."

"The man's got a point." Misaki smirked, patting her former protector/crush on the shoulder, "Let's get this ball rolling."

"Sound's like a definite plan." Sally agreed, sinking deeper into her chair, "Where should we start?"

"How about how we chose our career paths?" Misaki suggested, walking towards the punch bowl that Mimiru had abandoned in favor of a windowsill.

"Okay, who goes first?" Duo asked gazing around the room, still twisting his ponytail around his fingers.

"I volunteer." Michiru said with a slight wave of her hand, "I guess I'll tell how I came to be the president of my own company."

"Very good." Quatre remarked with a smile, taking a seat as she began her tale.

* * *

(A/N: Someone's going on a DATE! Not a typo! A D-A-T-E! Can you guess correctly? R&R!) 


	33. Civilian Life: After Party

(A/N: Woot! They've fixed a lot of the glitches! And now, to celebrate -drom roll please- THE NEXT CHAPTER!)

* * *

"I **still** can't believe it!" Duo snorted as he walked Mimiru to her car, "You were the only one who-!"

"Well believe it, bub." She smirked, flicking him in the forehead, "Not that you weren't cute, but I was mentally exhausted. I needed a break."

"Oh-**_ho!_**" he cried, moving in front of his former charge, smirking victoriously, "Doth mine ears deceive, or did you just call me cute?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." Mimiru sighed, rolling her eyes acerbically, "You don't need to hear what you know to be true…narcissistic bastard."

"Is it a **crime** to be beautiful?" Duo asked mockingly, batting his eyelashes down at her dramatically.

"Sometimes I think it should be." She snorted dryly, "At any rate, Maxwell, it was really great seeing everyone together again."

"Oh **_no_** y' don't!" Duo cried, clamping a hand over her mouth, "You already called me by name once! Y' can't take it back!"

"**Moi?** Call **_you_** by name?" Mimiru asked innocently, "Funny, I don't seem to recall ever doing something like that."

"**You** know you did, **_I _**know you did, and in fact-!" Duo said, a victorious smirked arising on his face, "I even pulled the security footage from your room that day so you couldn't pull a stunt like this."

"Huh…well, nobody ever said you weren't thorough." She shrugged, totally unfazed as she continued on her way to her Lexus "MY 2054" Minority Report car (it's such a sweet ride, dude!)

"Say…you know how Trowa and Mikura made plans to meet up for drinks later?" Duo remarked offhandedly as she unlocked the door.

"Yeah. Michiru and Heero did too, what about it?" Mimiru snorted dryly (her ears are still ringing from Relena's shrieks of horror)

"Well, how bout you and me catch a movie sometime? Say t'morrow?" Duo asked, an all too familiar Devil-May-Care grin filling his face.

"And if I said no?" Mimiru said taciturnly, looking up at the twenty four year old pilot blandly.

"I'm afraid I might just be inspired to kidnap you." Duo said innocently, twiddling his thumbs.

"Of course." Mimiru sighed, sliding behind the drivers seat, "Seven o'clock at the Galaxy Theater in Shinjuku sound okay?"

"But of course, milady." Duo replied, giving a mock salute as she rolled her eyes at him and pulled out.

* * *

"**_Sheesh _**Wiffle Ball, ya **think** you've had enough to drink yet?" Misaki asked sarcastically as she hefted him, in an alcohol induced slumber into the back of her squad car. 

"_**Injustice**_, he says." Misaki ranted under her breath as she fastened his seatbelt, "**I** can hold my liquor, he says. Then he passes out in the middle of the floor and trips a cocktail waitress."

She snorted as Wufei shouted out angrily in his sleep about something to do with a rabid, devil dog eating his sandwich, then after shoving his legs in, shut the car door.

"And **_you_** complained that **I** was more trouble than I was worth." Misaki sighed as she started the engine of her cruiser, "Guess you're bunkin' with me t'night, Fei Fei."

With that she pulled out of the bar parking lot and onto the main road, setting a course for her apartment, which was only a ten minutes drive away.

After arriving to the building in question, she loose a frustrated sigh as she undid Wufei's seat belt and stared up at the structure.

"And I just **_HAD_** to spring for the penthouse." She muttered, shifting Wufei onto her back with a grunt, "Up we go…and **up**…and **up**…and **_up_**."

Misaki managed to lug the still sleeping Wufei to the elevator and by some creative maneuvering, managed to press the button for the top floor without falling down.

"Ah, y' make life eenteresting Fei Fei." She sighed as the elevator doors opened and she walked out nearly falling as Wufei, apparently thinking he was in bed, decided he wanted to roll over.

"Not getting angry, not getting angry." Misaki chanted to herself, as she reached her door and began fumbling around for her door key.

* * *

"_**Aawn**_…oi, Trowa? Wake up dude. I hafta go to work." Mikura yawned, shaking the man's shoulder to wake him from his curled up position in her easy chair. 

"Nuh? What time izzit?" he asked drowsily, head throbbing dully from a hangover brought on from last night's drinking contest with Wufei.

"Almost nine." Mikura replied, stretching her arms over her head, "And I have an advanced class at eleven. C'mon. Up an' at'm."

Provoked by a few more pokes to the forehead, Trowa clamored out of the chair with a noisy yawn, stretching out the many kinks he had developed from sleeping in such an awkward position.

"God…why does my mouth taste so horrid?" Trowa muttered massaging his temples as Mikura handed him a bottle of Ekiyabe.

"Well, before you passed out, you spotted some pizza in the trash and decided you had to have it right then and there." Mikura remarked as Trowa downed the hangover cure, "That could've done it."

"Please tell me you're joking." Trowa groaned, placing the bottle on the table top.

"I wish." Mikura sighed, grabbing the bottle and walking back towards the bathroom to replace it in the medicine cabinet, "But you were drunk, so all is forgiven. "

"Tell that to my stomach." Trowa muttered, walking to the kitchen area, searching through the cabinets until he found the glasses and filled one up with water.

"I'd offer you something to eat but…that'd seem pretty tactless at the moment, huh?" Mikura smirked, grabbing a glass for herself.

"You think?" Trowa snorted, watching her fill it halfway before jumping up to sit on the counter next to him.

"I still can't believe conservative lil' Fei Fei drank you under the table." Mikura snickered, shaking her head, "It's too much."

"How did we start that drinking contest anyway?" Trowa asked, gazing up at his former charge with the question in his eyes.

"Mitsuki did." Mikura replied, "And when Wufei said drinking was for incompetent fools, she called him a coward. Then it was **_onnnn_** babeh."

"That's right." He nodded, shaking his head and smirking all the while, "And the hot-headed bastard dragged me and Yuy along for the ride."

"While she sat back with Misaki and enjoyed the show." Mikura remarked, "Y'know she's a lot brighter than people give her credit for."

"Very clever indeed." Trowa smirked.

* * *

"Nnn…whuh?" Michiru mumbled blearily, rolling over in her bed…to find herself face to face with a sleeping Heero Yuy, "**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**" 

Heero snapped awake, saw to his shock who was in the bed next to him and that he was only dressed in his boxers.

Both flew out of the bed, Misaki clinging to the blankets for dear life as she had only just discover that her clothes had gone to Never-never land leaving only her panties behind.

"**Wh-wh-what did we _do_ last night?**" she shrieked, patting down her front with one hand, "My stomach doesn't hurt so I don't think you…we…y'know…"

"**NO! _NO!_ I wouldn't!**" Heero cried defensively, holding a pillow in front of him like a shield, "God, need to **_think_**…I remember…getting involved in that foolish drinking contest, thanks to your sister…and after that…"

"You threw **up** on me!" Michiru cried, palming her fist, "And on yourself when you passed out. I got your clothes off and took them to the laundry room to be washed before I blacked out too…I guess one of my maids just assumed we were together so…"

She wrapped the blanket around her middle and stared at the floor.

"Sorry for going off the handle like that." Michiru sighed, brushing some stray hairs out of her face, "Nothing happened. You're not the type of person to do things like that Yuy-san…even while intoxicated. I apologize."

"Accepted." Heero replied as one of the maids Michiru spoke of entered the room.

"Ah, Sugino-sama! You're awake!" she said rapturously, "You can finally introduce the staff to your charming-"

"Tell me Miwata…just who decided this man was my boyfriend?" Michiru asked, annoyance leaking into her voice, "Because whoever it was caused a very compromising situation for both parties and will have to be severely disciplined."

The maid known as Miwata let loose a little squeak and excused herself from the room.

Sighing in frustration, she turned to Heero and looked at him apologetically.

"Would you like to go out for some coffee?" Michiru asked, "I really don't want to deal with them this morning."

"…certainly." Heero replied, before looking around the room searchingly, "But only after I've located my clothes."

"Obviously." Michiru smiled, looking relieved and happy at the same time.

* * *

"**_Quatre!_**" Mitsuki cried happily as she paused bouncing a soccer ball on her head to waving at the figure in the stands, "What are **you** doing here? I didn't know you were a fan!" 

"I may not be the most avid soccer enthusiast, but I do attend the occasional game." Quatre remarked with smile, catching Mitsuki good mood, "But today, I'm here on a different agenda."

"Someone's out to get us again, aren't they?" Mitsuki said, stating it more as a fact than as an actual question ,"Well **tough toenails!** I'm **_not_** ducking out on the Olympics!"

"No, no!" Quatre laughed, leaning against the railing, "Nothing of that magnitude, I assure you. I merely came to ask you a question, that's all."

"Really?" Mitsuki commented, dribbling the ball on her knees, "And what would that be, Q?"

"My sister Iria is hosting a charity ball and I am expected to attend, with an escort." Quatre replied, "How about it? Will you be my date?"

"Huh…I don't know." Mitsuki replied, catching the soccer ball on her foot, "I'm gonna hafta think it over…"

Quatre nodded understandingly and rose from his seat to leave.

"…for about three seconds!" Mitsuki yelled after him, making the Winner heir jolt and turn around with a happy grin on his face.

"Wonderful!" Quatre beamed, "It's in one week. I'll…I'll give you a call before I pick you up okay?"

"Gotcha." Mitsuki smiled after him as he got up to go again, before a thought stuck her, "**Hey!** You don't **_have_** my number, do you?"

Quatre nearly fell down a flight of bleachers from his own lack of foresight.

* * *

"Hey there!" Duo called, waving at Mimiru as he arrived at the theatre six minutes before seven, "What's cookin', good lookin'?" 

"Well, today we have a lovely vegetable medley." Mimiru remarked sarcastically as she held up an imaginary platter of food.

"Oh, looks tasty." Duo joked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "But seriously, what are we gonna see?"

"Well, I've heard from my students that _'PULSE'_ is supposed to good." Mimiru remarked.

"_'PULSE'_ it is then." Duo nodded, moving forward to do the gentlemanly thing and by Mimiru's ticket for her…only to be shot down when she moved ahead of him and bought her own.

"Huh? Hey, are you okay, dude?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at the expression on his face.

"Yeah, just fine." Duo sighed, scratching the back of his head, "Listen…you wanna go Dutch?"

"Huh?" Mimiru blinked, looking confused, "I thought…that was the plan."

"N-never mind." Duo said, trying to not look too much like social retard he felt he was, "Let's go get our snacks."

"..._**okaaaay**_." Mimiru said, looking at Duo curiously before thinking to herself, _"…weird guy."_

Once inside the theatre, both Duo and Mimiru bought sodas, Sour Warheads (Mimi), Juniour Mints (Duo) and split the cost of an extra large tub of popcorn.

Apparently though, working life had been taking it's toll slowly but surely on both parties, because not halfway through the previews, both parties fell fast asleep and spilt the entire contents of their popcorn tub on some unsuspecting teenage girl who had been trying to make out with her boyfriend in peace.

They remain asleep through the entire span of the movie. Not a single explosion or scream roused them.

What did was an usher, trying to get theatre two ready for the next showing.

"God…I cannot believe we slept through the entire movie." Duo groaned, massaging a crick in his neck, "There goes thirty bucks down the tube."

"Hey, we can always rent it if we're desperate." Mimiru shrugged, "Besides, I haven't had a nap that good in years."

"Me either." Duo replied with a laugh, "Hey…you know what we should do, that we haven't done in forever?"

"Get lives?" Mimiru asked dryly.

"Go dancing." Duo snorted, "Seriously, I actually had fun when I danced with you."

"That's because I nearly made you kill yourself each time." Mimiru said, rolling her eyes, "You're such a glutton for punishment."

"C'mon." Duo said, dragging her towards a dance club, "For old times sake."

"…whatever, dude." Mimiru smirked, allowing herself to be half-led, half dragged along.

* * *

(A/N: Mitsuki attends the charity ball with Quatre and Michiru is throwing up every morning? ...uh-oh. R&R!)


	34. Civilian Life: Your WHAT?

(A/N: Sorry this took so long peeps! Because of reader requests, I've started an Avatar: The Last Airbender fic. It's titled - **_Boys Only,Or Naybe Not!_** - check it out and tell me how I'm doing, kay? and now, on with the fic!)

* * *

"**ONE MORE TIME!**"

"No."

"But-!"

"No."

"Ple-!"

"No." Mimiru said flatly, shaking her head at Duo, "Will you just give it up? How many more times do I have to totally shame you in full view of the public until you get it?"

"Until I finally _**BEAT YOU!**_" Duo declared fiercely, eyes burning into hers, "I **WILL** beat you at DDR at **_least_** once! I **swear** upon Deathscythe Hell!"

"…excuse me one second." Mimiru sighed, whipping out her palm top (courtesy of Michiru; EEEEEK! It's so kyoot! Like a chibi Momiji!), "Kamui? Up an' at'm buddy."

"Yes'm?" the little computer replied, smiling up at her cutely.

"Dial up my dad would you?" Mimiru sighed, "I've got to see if we have any property large enough to store a large mobile suit."

"Hai!" Kamui replied with a smile as Duo gave a loud, "**_HEY!_**"

"**Incoming _call!_ Incoming _call!_**" Kamui cried suddenly, spinning around on the palm of her hand on tiptoe.

"Patch it through please." Mimiru said calmly.

"**Hai!**" Kamui replied, giving her a salute with his tiny hand as his eyes went blank and a familiar female voice began to resonate through his mouth.

_"Mimiru? Are you there?"_ Michiru's voice said through the tiny automaton's lips.

"Hey, Michiru. What's up?" Mimiru replied.

_"Um, are you alone right now?"_ the once introverted girl asked anxiously.

"Well, Max-I mean Duo's here." Mimiru replied hastily, quelling under the pilot's fierce glare, "Why?"

_"Well, when you finish up with him, could you come over?"_ Michiru begged,_ "It's really important."_

"Sure." Mimiru replied, wondering what was up, "I'll see you in a few."

_"Later then." _Michiru replied sounding very agitated as she hung up.

* * *

"You think you're **WHAT?**" Mimiru shrieked, slamming both hands down on the table top, causing the glasses to rattle violently. 

"C-calm down." Nichiru begged, glancing around furtively, "And not so loud! I don't want any of the help to hear! You know how they gossip!"

"You think…that Heero…knocked you up?" Mimiru said, hands clenching into fists, knuckles turning white, "…I'll kill him."

She shot up from the table and took several long strides towards the door as Michiru dashed after her and grabbed her arm.

"**NO!** **_DON'T!_**" Michiru cried, dragging her back, "I-I mean…I'm not even sure that I'm…you know…"

Mimiru allowed herself to be pulled back to the table and seated, taking a shaky sip of tea before speaking again.

"…so what led you to believe you were…pregnant?" Mimiru said, holding the glass a bit tighter than necessary.

"W-well, there was tat whole mess after the bar I told you about." Michiru replied, "We're both a little hazy on the details…and I've been throwing up almost every morning now and having huge cravings for watermelon."

"I see. Well, that'll do it." Mimiru sighed, running both hands roughly through her hair, "You realize you have to tell Heero, right?"

"…yeah." Michiru mumbled, staring at the floor, "Not looking forward to **_that_** particular conversation."

"Just get it over with." Mimiru said gently, giving her siblings hand a pat, "I mean, you might not even be preggers."

"I can only hope." She mumbled.

* * *

"May I help you ma'am?" a butler said politely after Mitsuki rang the bell. 

"Yes, I'm Quatre's escort for the Charity Ball he's attending tonight." She said carefully, feeling slightly intimidated by this man, "Is he ready yet?"

"I'm not sure, ma'am." He replied politely, moving aside to allow her to enter, "Why don't you see if he's prepared? His room is upstairs, third on the left."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." Mitsuki said, feeling far less nervous then when she started and following the butler's directions, found a large mahogany door that had distinct mutters and disgruntled groans emanating from behind it.

"Q? You ready y-**_IIAAAAAAAAAAA!_ I'msosorry!**" Mitsuki squealed covering her eyes and closing the door quickly as Quatre hurriedly hopped into a pair of tighty whities and dress pants, rushing to the door.

"Muh-**_Mitsuki!_** Yuh-you…you're early!" He stammered, a deep shade of red that in an contrast with the white blonde of his hair.

"More like you're late." Mitsuki remarked, back still turned to him, "Are you decent now?"

"Yes." Quatre mumbled awkwardly, shuffling from foot to foot, "I apologize for that."

"'sokay." Mitsuki replied, turning around, hands on her hips, "What was with all that groaning?"

"I can't find my purple vest." Quatre sighed, scratching the back of his head to ease his frustration.

"…I've been meaning to ask you about **that **for **_years!_**" Mitsuki said with grin, noting the white pink shirt laid out on his bed, "Why do you always wear those pale pink shirts and purple vests?"

"Well…" he said, sifting through the clothes in his closet. "It's **partly** out of courtesy to my sisters. They like to see me wearing them, and chances are high that I'll bump into one of them at this event."

"Besides…" he said, turning away from the closet to grin at his escort, "…the shirt's more white than pink."

Mitsuki laughed merrily, "True… but that **_still _**doesn't excuse the vest."

"Oh, I don't mind it…" Quatre replied offhandedly, "Considering I've lived with so many women, having a purple vest is nothing…now where **IS** it?"

* * *

Mitsuki looked around and saw plenty of purple vests inside his closet. 

"What's wrong with these?" she asked, holding up two.

"They don't have pockets on the inside. The one I'm looking for is new." he replied, beginning to shuffle through his drawers.

"Quatre, _**stop**_." Mitsuki ordered.

He obeyed me and looked at his former charge questioningly. She put her hands on his cheeks, cupping his face and immediate blush rose to his white cheeks.

"Listen." Mitsuki said slowly, "It isn't the end of the world. We've got to go soon. We don't want to be late. Your sister's are waiting."

Quatre took a breath and released it in a slow stream between his teeth.

"You're right." he sighed.

"Besides…" she added with a crafty grin, "Personally, **I** think you'd look better in something blue. It'll bring out your eyes."

There was a moment of silence.

"Really?" Quatre asked.

Mitsuki nodded happily.

"Mm, hm…" she smiled, walking over to one of his still open drawers and pulling out a shirt that caught her eye.

It was a nice pastel blue, and it was button-up, something Mitsuki knew he would be use to.

"Try this, just for tonight and see what happens." She grinned, tossing it at him.

Quatre looked at Mitsuki with deep skepticism, but obeyed and began to button it all the way to the top button…until Mitsuki swatted his hands away.

"Knock it **_off!_** There's no need to **choke** yourself." She laughed, unbuttoning what he had just finished. She also unbuttoned his cuffs, rolled them up halfway to his elbows, then took a step back to admire her handiwork.

"Much better." She said approvingly.

Quatre looked very uncertain, but Mitsuki patted his shoulder, and led him to the door.

"If it really makes you uncomfortable, then you can put it back the way you had it. But just give it a try for me, okay?" She asked.

"Alright." He sighed as they walked out the door, "But just for tonight."

* * *

"You think you might be….be…" Heero stammered, swaying on his feet and having to grab onto a nearby handrail for support. 

"…pregnant." Michiru finished for him, "I have a doctor's appointment in a half hour because it's rather early on…and I don't trust the drugstore tests…will you come with me? Please?"

"…yes." Heero nodded affirmingly, regaining his edge and standing up straight, "I had my part in this. I need to be there."

"What if it turns out I am?" Michiru asked, looking worried, "What will you do then? I mean…Relena…"

"I'll take responsibility." Heero said resolutely, reaching forward and giving Michiru's hand a squeeze, "I promise, I'll be a father to your child."

"Heero." Michiru sobbed, throwing her arms around him, "It's time's like these that remind me why I fell in love with you."

"…thank you." Heero replied, hugging her back before taking her hand instead, "Well, I suppose we best be off then."

"Yes." Michiru nodded.

"Sugino?" a nurse asked as both Michiru and Heero shot to their feet, drawing many stares and whispers from the other patients scattered about the waiting room, "The doctor will see you now."

"Yes…yes thank you." Michiru replied, now nervous again as the pair entered the sterile smelling office.

Moments later, a male doctor entered the room and introduced himself as Hakase Futaba (1), and only a few minutes and a blood draw later, he was out the door to the lab to run the test, leaving an anxious Heero and Michiru to wait and wonder.

_-TWENTY MINUTES LATER…-_

The door to the office swung open and Hakase Futaba re-entered the room, with a lot more paperwork than when he had left.

"Well?" Michiru asked, looking unbelievably stressed out for two people; herself **_AND_** the pokerfaced Heero beside her.

"Your blood work, Sugino-sama, read negative for pregnancy." Hakase Futaba said with a smile as she and Heero breathed a large sigh of relief, "However, it **did **come back positive for the stomach flu and high hormone levels."

"High hormone…oh **_GAWD!_** My **period's** late!" Michiru said, turning tomato red from embarrassment.

"So, I'm prescribing some antibiotics for your stomach…" Hakase Futaba said, handing her the slip, "…and you're all set."

"So…it was a false alarm." Heero sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"It looks that way." She sighed, "…but did you really mean what you said? That you'd be a father to my child?"

"Of course." Heero replied, pulling her closer, "I wouldn't allow anyone else to."

Michiru turned bright red.

* * *

(1) Hakase Futaba - 'Hakase' means _"Professor"_ or _"Doctor"

* * *

_

(A/N: Wufei's acting weird. Duo's got a stalker, and much, much more! R&R!)


	35. Civilian Life: Apartnership

(A/N: Hey all! Sorry this one took me so long! But school is back in session after all, so I'm balancing my schedule as best I can. So to thank you for your patience, the next chappie!)

* * *

"Phwuhhh…"

"Misaki, what's wrong?" Mikura asked, balancing a can of cold soda on her sibling's head, "That's the ninth time you sighed in the space of two minutes. Dish."

"**_Urrgh!_** Fei-Fei's been actin' **so** **_weird_** lately!" Misaki cried, flopping backwards so the can rolled to the floor and that her head rested on Mikura's knees, "He never used to **deliberately** avoid me, but now, not **_only_** is he avoiding me, he's even blocking my **number!** I don't know what his deal is!"

"Wow, now that**_ is_** weird." Mikura remarked, stroking her sister's forehead, "Wonder what crawled up his ass and died?"

"Believe me, if I knew, I'dve removed it personally…or called a proctologist depending on how saucy I was feeling that day." Misaki sighed, massaging her temples and letting loose a loud groan.

Mikura let out a laugh when a knock came at the door at the exact same time.

"**It's _open!_**" she called as Misaki heaved herself upwards with a loud, unhappy groan.

Trowa came striding into the living room and before he opened his mouth, took in the disgruntled Misaki and chose his words carefully.

"What's her problem?" he asked bluntly, getting straight to the point as he stripped off his coat.

"More like what's Wufei's problem." Mikura said cheerfully as Misaki let loose another agitated groan, "He's been avoiding her like the Ebola virus."

"How very odd." Trowa remarked, taking a seat next to his former charge, "That doesn't sound like him. Chang's the type to tackle things head on rather than avoid them."

"You're telling me." Misaki grumbled, resting her chin on the coffee table, "Honestly…what's his damage?"

"I'm not entirely sure." Trowa remarked, "But I'm sure its nothing you're doing. It will work itself out."

"I hope your right." Misaki sighed.

* * *

"Umm…Maxw-I mean Duo? What's the deal?" Mimiru asked, quirking an eyebrow, "That's the fourth time in one minute you've looked over your shoulder." 

"It's just…well, um…" Duo looked over his shoulder again, "For the past week, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm being watched."

"Duo, the Preventers have surveillance cams all over the place." Mimiru said dryly, "They're at every stoplight, in every streetlamp, in every car. When is there a time when we're **not** being watched?"

"No, no." Duo said dismissively, massaging the bridge of his nose, "This is different. I'm used to all the cameras…but I can't shake the feeling of _**EYES**_ being on me wherever I go. I haven't had a good night's sleep in days."

"It shows." Mimiru remarked without malice, "You look like you've been rode hard and put away wet."

"Thanks a heap." Duo groaned sarcastically, rolling his dark ringed eyes as a figure who had been at the corner he had just checked, darted behind a collection of trashcans.

Hearing the sound of feet hitting the pavement just behind him, Duo turned on a dime and whipped his head around wildly to see who it was.

"Dude…are you okay?" Mimiru asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I swear I heard someone!" Duo cried, as Mimiru sighed and began pushing him in the direction of her car.

"Of course you did." She said soothingly, "Just like that sandwich in my room tried to eat you all those years ago."

"But I **_did_** hear someone! And that was a **totally _unrelated_ matter!**" Duo retorted, as she opened the passenger door and pushed him into the seat.

"Duo, just face the facts - you're exhausted." She said simply, "I'm taking you back to the mansion so you can unwind without being bothered okay?"

And without waiting for his reply, she climbed into the driver's seat, started the engine and pealed out.

* * *

"**_Urgh_**…do you know what that guy **did** today?" Misaki cried, throwing her leather officer's jacket on the ground in frustration, "So I walk into Starbucks for a latte' and when he spots me, not only does he drop a boiling, lava hot mocha down the front of his pants, but he runs **_away_** from me! I mean, **what the hell?** Am I **_that_** repellent?" 

"**Geez **girl. I've never seen you this wound up." Mitsuki said calmly as Misaki punched the wall, "Was it **_really_** as bad as all that?"

"**YES!**" Misaki screeched, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, "What's his **_problem?_** I mean ever since he woke up with a hangover at my place he's been avoiding me like a plague rat!"

"Well did anything happen?" Mitsuki asked, as she dragged her sibling over to the couch.

"No…well, not really." She mumbled, staring at the floor.

"Okay, spill." Mitsuki commanded.

"Well, you know how drunk he was…well…he started stripping." Misaki muttered, as Mitsuki let out a shriek, "He was…averaged sized."

"**SO YOU _DEFLOWERED_ HIM?**" Mitsuki cried, face as red as a beet, "**_YOU_ TOOK _ADVANTAGE_ OF A _DRUNK MAN?_**"

"Good **GOD **no." Misaki replied reproachfully, "Call me romantic, but I think your first time should be with someone you love…not that I…I…uh…"

"Hee hee hee…." Mitsuki grinned evilly, "Misaki love Waffles! Misaki loves Waffles! Oh the truth comes out!"

"**_Shut it!_**" Misaki barked, looking more than slightly mortified, "A-and anyway it doesn't matter…Wufei hates me."

"Aww, that isn't true." Mitsuki said sympathetically, hugging her sister tight as she started crying.

"Then why is h-h-he avoiding me?" Misaki hiccupped through tears as a soft knock came at the door, followed by Quatre a few moments later.

"What ever is the matter, Sugino-jo?" he asked worriedly, squatting down so he was at eye level with the crying woman slumped on the floor.

"Wufei's acting strangely." Mitsuki said, quickly filing him in, "He's been avoiding her like a Bird Flu victim."

"That doesn't sound like the Wufei I know." Quatre muttered, patting Misaki's hand, "I'll find out what's up, alright?"

"O-hic-kay." Misaki said with a gulp, wiping away some stray tears.

* * *

"Duo, go to sleep before I have Dawson strap you to the bed." Mimiru said calmly when she caught the former pilot pressed against his bedroom window. 

"…sounds kinky." Duo muttered as an afterthought as he continued to stare out the window at the bushes.

Mimiru whistled shrilly between her teeth and a man who towered at least two feet over her lumbered into the room.

"Dawson, would you help Maxwell get to bed, please?" she asked coolly.

"Wit' pleasure, Sugino-jo." He grinned, wrapping a giant arm around Duo's waist, hefting him off the floor and heaving him onto the bed where he was promptly strapped down.

"**Hey**-**_HEY!_**" Duo cried indignantly, struggling against the restraints, "I thought you were **kidding!**"

"I thought you'dve learned from all those years of guarding me – I never kid." Mimiru smirked as Dawson injected Duo with sedative, "Now get some rest."

"_**There's someone in your yard!**_" Duo cried, twisting even harder against the straps, "**_They _followed_ me here!_**"

"Well then, they'll have Shiba to contend with, now wont they?" Mimiru replied with a dark smile as she turned to leave.

"Shiba?" Duo remarked drowsily as the tranquilizers began to take effect, "I guess…**aaawnn**…Jasmine finally kicked it."

With that he allowed the sedatives to take hold and carry him off to Happy Sleepy Time Land as loud roars and screams were heard outside.

"Huh…guess Duo wasn't making things up again." Mimiru remarked, as she and her man-servant made their way outside.

"It seems dat way." Dawson replied, cracking him knuckles as Mimiru called out for her replacement for Jasmine.

A snow leopard, dragging a moaning Dorothy Catalonia by the leg, came bounding up, looking quite proud of herself.

"Well, well Dawson…seems we have quite the pest control problem." Mimiru remarked, "I wonder if they know you've broken out yet?"

Dorothy groaned out something that sounded distinctly like "I hate you." before returning to moaning again.

* * *

Wufei was abducted by both Quatre and Trowa off the street from in front of a writing supply store. 

He was then driven, bound and gagged, to Mikura's apartment where Mitsuki, Mikura herself, and Misaki were waiting.

"Okay Wufei. Enough's enough." Quatre said serenely, forcing the Chinaman into a chair.

"No more running." Trowa said calmly removing the duct tape from his mouth.

"Now you're gonna tell us what's up." Mikura said calmly, folding her arms over her chest.

"Why've you been avoiding Misaki?" Mitsuki asked fiercely, getting directly in his face, really bent that he had successfully made her cry.

"Mitsuki, how can he say anything at all when you're practically throwing your head down his throat?" Misaki asked with a weak smile as she pushed Mitsuki back.

"Now then…would you mind providing us with some answers Wufei?" Trowa asked mildly.

"…fine." Wufei said exasperatedly, "But only after you untie me."

"I don't think so." Quatre said tactfully, "We've no way of knowing that you wont run again."

"I give you my word as a member of the Dragon Clan, I will not run." Wufei sighed.

"I dunno…should we believe him?" Mitsuki asked doubtfully.

"He's given us his word." Mikura said firmly, already untying him, "That's good enough for me."

"Now are you going to tell me what's up Fei-Fei?" Misaki asked sadly, wringing her hands.

"…yeah." Wufei muttered, digging a hand through his pocket to pull out a small ring box, "I….I've been trying to work up the nerve…but I keep getting cold feet."

"Are…are you serious…?" Misaki asked numbly, as his pushed it into her hands.

"Do I come off as the type to be familiar with this mushy, romantic crap?" Wufei growled, coming very close to screaming before taking a deep breath to calm himself, "So…will you…?"

"You put me through hell and then you just expect me to…" Misaki looked ready to go medieval on Wufei's ass.

Wufei prepared himself for a slap across the face, but got a kiss on the cheek instead.

"Love to." Misaki grinned, making sure to enjoy the look of absolute shock on his face for as long as it stayed there.

"Mrs. Chang Wiffle Ball, I like it!" Mitsuki laughed.

* * *

(A/N: Dorothy's interrogated. Misaki preps for the big day. And mumch more. R&R!)


	36. Civilian Life: Broken Glass & Breakups?

(A/N: Sorry this took so long folks! I'm competing for the computer on a tight work/school schedule, so please bear with me! I hope this next chappie is up to your standards and so, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

"_**Mmmm**_…**nah**." Duo sighed tiredly, opening his eyes to find the leather straps removed and that he had tossed and turned until his feet rested against the headboard.

"**_Man_**, aside from the metallic taste in my mouth, I feel great." Duo remarked, easing himself out of bed slowly, "I guess I was more exhausted than I thought."

His first instinct was to go look out the window, but he quick quashed it down, dismissing it as early morning paranoia.

"Mimi was right. Sleep depravation really is addling my brain." He mumbled, making his way to the door, yawning loudly, "Wonder what time it is?"

"It's a quota past t'ree, Mistuh Maxwell."

Duo jumped about fifteen feet in the air with yelp, before turning to find Dawson, the same behemoth from the night before who had both restrained and drugged him, watching him closely from a chair in the corner.

"Wh-what're **you** doing here, Dawson?" Duo asked nervously, doing his best to ignore the fact that the man servants muscles rivaled that of Lieutenant Armstrong's and that if you cocked your head to the side, he looked just like him only far less friendly with far less hair (he shaves his head)

"Sugino-jo ohdud me t' watch ya." Dawson replied easily, "Wanted make shuh ya rested."

"I…I see." Duo replied nervously as he inched his way back into bed, "W-well, I'll just be going…back to sleep now. Yeah, that's it. Sleep. Well, goodnight."

"Sleep well, Mistuh Maxwell." Dawson replied ominously, staring at the former body guard intensely from his seat in the corner.

Duo lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, until Mimiru returned from the grocery store two hours later.

* * *

"**_OUCH!_**" Misaki shrieked as a pin stabbed her side. 

"**OH!** I am _**so**_ sorry!" the seamstress gasped in alarm as she quickly withdrew her hand, "Are you alright?"

"She's hemorrhaging from her latissimus dorsai, what do you think?" Mitsuki snorted as the poor woman began to hyperventilate.

"Mitsuki! Knock it **off!**" Misaki snapped, sending a withering look at her sister, "It's alright, it just surprised me that's all. I'm fine."

"Oh…o-okay. If you're sure." The dressmaker said wheezilly, trying bring herself down from her heightened state of distress, "I-I'll just go and…yeah."

With that she left Misaki to disrobe from the wedding gown and, presumably, prep her workstation (but more than likely had run to the bathroom to finish her panic attack)

"Honestly….don't demoralize the tailor!" Mikura snorted, shaking her head disapprovingly as she assisted Misaki with the zipper.

"Aw…but you need to rattle their cages every once in awhile." Mitsuki smirked, "It's good for'em!"

"No, it's **_mean!_**" Misaki said huffily, gathering the white concoction in her arms, "For the **love **of **_Pete!_** The **last **thing I need is for my _**seamstress**_ to quit on me."

"Yeah, you've already scared off the caterer." Mikura said, ticking off on her fingers, "And the florist, and the priest-"

"Oh dear **GAWD **I have no wedding." Misaki moaned slumping to the floor.

"Re**_laaax_**." Mitsuki grinned with a dismissive wave of her hand, "I worse comes to worse, we can always have Mimiru do everything."

* * *

_Miles away…_

"**_ATCHOI!_**"

"Eh? Mimiru are you catching a cold?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow at her as she walked with him down the hall.

"No…one of my twisted sisters just **volunteered** me for something." Mimiru replied irritably, rubbing her nose to ease away the itch.

* * *

"Don't volunteer her for crap she probably doesn't want to do!" Misaki snapped at Mitsuki as she hopped off the stool nearly tripping over the enormous train of the gown in her arms. 

"Probably? Try definitely." Mikura snickered, "I mean sure, she did all the cooking when we were younger, but that was because we were kitchen retarded."

"Okay Mimi's out then." Mitsuki shrugged, "I was only trying to come up with some cheap, effective solutions."

"We'll figure something out." Misaki sighed.

* * *

"**_Talk_**, Catalonia! How did you escape from the L4 Moon Base? Why were you tailing Duo Maxwell? **TALK DAMMIT!**" 

Dorothy glowered up at the interrogator before a tiny smirk began dancing on her lips as she calmly stuck her tongue out at him.

"Sir, we've been at this for over eight hours." The interrogator moaned to his supervisor as he allowed his head to fall into his hands, "Do we have permission to use truth serum yet?"

"It's still in the works, Lezowski. Just keep at it." His overseer sighed tensely from behind him, massaging the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the wall.

Dorothy then began rocking her chair so that it tapped out a very repetitive, very nerve-grinding beat on the floor, a very malicious smirk on her lips as the interrogator and his supervisor involuntarily twitched each time the chair leg hit the floor.

After about five minutes of watching her interrogator squirm, there came a knock that was not from Dorothy's chair.

"Sirs?" a rather official looking man said, holding an armload of paperwork, "We've just received the word from the higher ups. It's a go for the truth serum."

"**_FINALLY!_**" The interrogator whooped as the supervisor slumped in sheer relief.

"Damn." Dorothy muttered, crossing her arms irritably and sinking down sulkily in her chair, "Just when it was getting interesting, too."

* * *

"**Geez**, Duo. Don't do that ever again, okay?" Mimiru sighed, as she set a bowl of soup down in front of the Preventer, "Seriously, I thought some psycho, serial murder had broken into the house and ssuffocated you in your sleep." 

"No such luck. You're stuck with me." Duo smirked, taking up his spoon and diving into the bowl of soup before him.

"You know I don't **_'like you'_** like you right?" Mimiru asked, taking the seat across from him.

"Yup." Duo nodded, holding the bowl to his lips and tilting the remaining contents into his mouth, "But that's something I **fully **intend to change."

"Oh joy." Mimiru sighed, rolling her eyes and accepting the bowl he held out to her, "You mean to tell me that on **_top_** of teaching a bunch of third rates to dance, who **don't** even have **_any _**passion for it in the first place I might add, I have to deal with **you?** Lovely."

"Yeah, it's a tragedy." Duo smirked, propping his head in one hand, "Having little ole me trailing around after you until you finally get sick of telling me off and either A) agree to go out with me or B) have a meltdown moment and go off on me? Yeah, I dare say you're in for one helluva time."

Mimiru looked at the former pilot as though she was seriously considering shoving the empty soup bowl she held down his throat, but shook her head dismissively and walked off towards the kitchen while muttering under her breath.

"**Bring back crescent rolls!**" Duo yelled after her.

_-fyyyyuuuuu_**FWAK**_-_

"**_Ouch!_**" Duo hissed, clutching his forehead as the projectile object fell to the floor.

"Say please next time." Mimiru called from the kitchen, tossing and catching another crescent roll while smirking out at him.

* * *

"Oh **god**. What else do we need to register for?" Misaki moaned, flipping through a dilapidated notebook, before viciously twisting it in her hands, "Did we already do silverware? I forget." 

"Yes, Misaki, now relax." Wufei sighed, growing weary from the seemingly endless hours of shopping.

"**_You're _**telling **me** to relax?" Misaki asked, looking very shocked, "I must be more strung up than I thought."

"Well the fact that you haven't noticed that you've come very close to tearing that notebook in half is what tipped me off." Wufei said dryly, eyeing the noted pad with a small tear forming at it's top.

"…whups." Misaki said sheepishly as Wufei plucked it from her hands, "I didn't know I was **_THAT _**stressed."

"Well the fact remains that you are." Wufei sighed, "And to answer your earlier question, not only did you register for silverware, you registered us for five different sets. Honestly, how many sets of flatware does one couple need?"

"Hehehe…um-uh how are we for dishware?" Misaki asked as her voice raised an octave, her face coloring faintly.

"You registered us for every piece of china, in every color, print and size under the sun." Wufei replied dully.

"**Eek!** H-how about toasters?" Misaki asked, face reddening even more.

"You already tagged four." Wufei sighed, scratching the back of his head with the pilfered notebook, "And **_please_** don't ask about linens, blenders, or glassware…please."

"…sorry." Misaki squeaked, trying to scrunch down as much of her 5' 6" as humanly possible with causing a scene…but doing both of those things at once proved to be impossible as they were soon surrounded by worried customers.

"Is she okay?"

"Is she sick?"

"Did he just hit her?"

"Ahh, the abusive sort. Tsk. Such a shame."

"Oh fantastic." Wufei groaned, lowering himself down to his fiancée's level, "Misaki? Come on. Let's just finish this up and get out of here okay?"

"But…but I've mucked things up so much already!" Misaki whimpered, trying to hide her face with her arms.

"We can unregister for the stuff we don't want, you know." Wufei sighed as the whispering around them grew louder.

"…really?" Misaki gaped, looking up at him.

* * *

"Huhhhhh…" Mikura sighed, flopping around the sofa, "Huhhh…Huhhhhhhhh." 

"Pretty big sighs." Trowa remarked, exiting the kitchen and setting an extra Ramune on the table, "Anything wrong?"

"…no." Mikura replied before letting loose another noisy sigh and tossing again, "It's just…"

"Just what?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow at her before sitting down in front of the sofa.

"It's just…well…." She loosed another groan, before flopping over so that her back was to him, "…we always do things together…and we're always running into each other…so…"

"So what?" Trowa asked, shifting around to stare at the back of her head, "What's on your mind?"

"Are we together? Are we…or…" Mikura let herself trail off before sitting bolt upright, "You know what? Just forget I said anything. I was just being stupid. Oh, and would you **look** at the **_time!_** I'm gonna be late for work! **Gotta go!**"

She shot off the sofa and out the door (forgetting her shoes I might add) leaving a very perplexed Trowa in her dust.

However, it only took him a moment or two to fill the holes of her question and, grabbing Mikura's shoes, he dashed out after her.

He didn't get far because not a block away from his house, she was sitting, hunched up on the curb, holding her bleeding foot and shaking with dry sobs.

Pausing to catch his breath, he asked-

"What happened?"

Looking up at him tearfully, she sobbed-

"**_Br-broken gl-gl-glass!_**"

Bending down to inspect the injury, he found that the shard of shattered beer bottle was still lodged in her foot – deep, but not deep enough to warrant a hospital visit.

Scooping her up, he carried her back inside the apartment complex and into the waiting elevator.

Once back in the apartment, despite Mikura's wails of "don't touch it! don't touch iiiiiiiiiit!", Trowa carefully dislodged the glass and set to work dressing the wound.

"You know…you really should be more careful." Trowa commented as he fastened the bandages in place.

"I know…'m sorry." Mikura hiccuped, not looking at him.

"Now…do you want me to answer the question you posed to me earlier?" Trowa asked offhandedly.

"Eh?" Mikura blinked as Trowa gave her a light kiss on the forehead making her face surge with color.

"There's your answer." He said calmly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

* * *

"Heero…there's a matter I really think we need to address." Relena said curtly, folding her hands together, "It's about Michiru. I don't like you spending so much – **Hey!** Are you **_listening_** to me?" 

Heero stared out the window of the restaurant they were seated in, completely ignoring her.

"**HEERO!**" Relena cried demandingly, slamming her hands down on the table to get his attention.

Heero twitched a little and slid his eyes in her general direction, giving her a rather distasteful stare.

"You are causing a scene, Relena." He said calmly, noting several couples muttering under there breath at the Vice Foreign Minister's outrageous display.

"Well **_you_** are shutting **me **out Heero!" Relelna snapped, getting within an inch of his face (whew…someone needs a breath mint), "**_You_** are** MY** boyfriend! **I** am entitled to the right to be **_pissed _**when you go off gallivanting with **another** woman!"

"…just because you say I'm something doesn't make it so." Heero replied dully, continuing to stare out the window.

"What was **_that?_**" Relena growled, leaning in closer…if that was at all humanly possible.

"Just because you arbitrarily decided that I was your boyfriend nine years ago, doesn't mean that I am." Heero replied calmly, hailing a waiter as he spoke.

"**Whuh**-**_WHAAAAAAAT?_**" Relena shrieked as all eyes turned themselves on her, "But-but you took me on all those dates- all those **places!**"

"Correction." Heero said serenely as the waiter refilled his ice water, "You decided 'we' were going somewhere, decided to call it a date, when I had nothing better to do at the time."

Relena's mouth opened and closed as Heero calmly downed his ice water and asked for the check.

"I'll be paying for my own meal, Vice Foreign Minister." He said calmly, extracting a credit card from his wallet, "I trust you have the funds to pay for your own. I bid you good evening."

* * *

(A/N: Heero has a 'talk' with Michiru, bachelor/ bachelorette parties _-strippers! wooot!-_ and much much more! R&R!)


	37. Civilian Life: The Leap

(A/N: Hey all! I'm back! Sorry that took so long, but my work/school schedule is really riding my ass. But at any rate, here's the next chapter!)

* * *

"Urghh…couldn't they do this themselves? This is**_ sooo_** degrading." Quatre moaned, unable to bring himself to dial the particular number on the page in the phonebook before him. 

And why is that, you ask? Because it's the number of a strip club.

That's right. Straight and narrow Quatre is actually prepping himself to order a stripper for Wufei's bachelor party.

Why is that? Because Duo, with his unique powers of persuasion, had managed to convince him it was a good idea.

"So why isn't **HE** the one making the call?" Quatre cried out in frustration, slamming the phone back down in the cradle (because he enjoys watching people squirm that's why)

Quatre fidgeted and paced, staring at the phone and yellow pages as they taunted him from the other side of the room, before giving an angry sigh and slowly crossing the room.

He picked up the phone like it was a poisonous snake that would bite him if provoked and at a snails pace, dialed in the number.

"_Hello? This is Clubhouse. How may I help you?_" a bubbly sounding woman said cheerfully on the other end of the line.

"Uh…umm…I need to..err…" Quatre stuttered as his business-profession demeanor decided to take a holiday, unable to bring himself to say the dreaded words, 'I need to order a stripper for a bachelor party Friday night.'

"_Aww…are you new at this, shuga?_" the woman said sympathetically, "_It's okay, darlin'. Just take yo' time an' remember t' breathe._"

"I…I need to…I need to…hold on a moment." Quatre said, taking a couple deep breaths, "**_IneedtoorderastripperforabachelorpartyFridaynight!_**"

"_Easy there sweety!_" the woman laughed, "_'snot that big of a deal. Just relax! I'll take care of you._"

Quatre a rush of air whoosh from his lungs and allowed himself to sink to the floor, hoping to Allah that the woman on the end of the line wasn't lying through her teeth.

* * *

"**Woooot**! This bachelorette party is gonna be the **_best!_**" Mikura sang happily as she prepped the apartment with liquor, chocolates, and plenty of edible, shlong-shaped goodies. 

"And wait til you see the stripper. His name is Campbell and **_GAWD!_** Talk about **mm-mm**-**_good!"_** Mimiru snickered, hanging up a disco ball.

"Do we have a photo?" Mitsuki asked with a devious smirk as she vacuumed up the Cheetos that she had just sent flying to the floor in her haste to grab a roll of wrapping paper.

"We do, but patience is a virtue." Mimiru said wickedly, "You'll see him soon enough."

"Oooo, I can't wait." Michiru giggled, tying a ribbon around her gift of edible underwear and lacy red lingerie.

"So when does she go off duty again?" Mikura asked, walking to the fridge to get the tallywhacker shaped cake she purchased on the way over ready to serve.

"At four thirty." Michiru replied, as she tied the last bit of ribbon with a flourish, "So we better hurry up and get this done!"

"Yeah, especially seeing as it's already four." Mitsuki added, trying to ignore how badly the stool beneath her feet was wobbling.

"**Crap!** It's that late already?" Mimiru cried as she darted into the kitchen; the sound of bone connecting with fake wood was heard followed by a string of curses as the eldest quint smashed her shin on a chair leg.

"You okay?" Mikura called into the kitchen anxiously as the sonorous curses diminished to loud hisses.

"Oh I'm just**_ peachy!_**" she spat, hobbling out the of the kitchen, "I'm just a goddamn **gimp **is all."

* * *

"I **_thought _**I said **no** **strippers**." Wufei growled after said stripper (whose name was Cinnamon) had made herself known at the party and was currently parading around in little more than a g-string and a smile. 

"Yes, you did, but unfortunately for you, this is a bachelor party." Duo replied with a snicker, "And strippers are customary at bachelor parties. By th' way Q, props for following through! I thought for sure you'd welch!"

Quatre shot Duo a look that clearly said that the matter was not up for discussion and that this was a particular chapter in his life he wanted close, toss into a nearby fireplace and watch as it burned to ash.

"Seriously though, not too much longer with the stripper though." Trowa said carefully, eyeing the tic pulsing in Wufei's temple, "No need for pointless bloodshed."

"Agreed." Heero replied wearily, massaging the bridge of his nose, "And since this was all your idea Maxwell, you will be the one to buy more beer. We're out."

"Only because **_somebody's_** been drinking like a fish." Duo snorted before climbing to his feet, "Fine, fine. I get th' booze…which leaves the four of you to pay and chuck the stripper."

The sounds of four jaws simultaneously hitting the floor was heard as Duo exited the apartment.

"**Ha!** Those guys are too easy." He snickered as he walked down the street towards the local liquor store, unaware of the whispers that followed him.

"It's him! The one from the wanted posters all those years ago!" an older man muttered.

"You mean he's a Gundam Pilot?" the woman on his arms hissed back, "He's one of the monsters that wiped out that orphanage?"

Duo definitely heard that last remark and it stopped him dead in his tracks. He had destroyed an orphanage? An **_orphanage?_** When did that happen? Did it happen at all? He supposed it could have. It was so hard to pick out one mission from another in the back of his mind.

Without even realizing what he was doing he began to run.

* * *

"Damn…and it was just getting good too." Mimiru grumbled, "They better get me some shots of that hottie or I'll shove these beer bottles right up their-" 

"He's gonna **jump!**"

"Oh my _**lord!**_"

"What th' hell?" Mimiru muttered, looking just above where a small mob of people had formed, "Oh…my**GOD_DUO!_**"

She dropped the paper bag containing the beer only just recently purchased, and forced her way through the crowd just as Duo took the plunge.

Without even thinking, Mimiru dove directly in his path of descent, breath whooshing out of her lungs and several ribs snapping as he crashed on top of her.

"Nnnghhhh…" she moaned, shoving him off her and gripping his shoulders, "What the **HELL** were you thinking Duo? What the **_HELL_** did you think you were doing?"

"…destroyed…orphanage." He mumbled numbly as she hauled him to his feet, away from the crowd and into an alley about a block away.

"Now then…calmly…why did you feel the sudden urge to off yourself?" Mimiru asked, gripping his shoulders again.

"I destroyed…an orphanage." Duo mumbled again, "They called me a monster…they're right. I destroyed an orphanage without a second thought. I am a monster."

"No you're not." Mimiru growled at him, tightening her grip, "You are probably the furthest thing from a monster I've ever met."

"Then…what am I?" Duo asked her, giving her the most lost and hopeless expression she had seen.

"You are human, and like all humans, you are bound make mistakes." She replied, "Whether or not you did what they claimed is irrelevant. You are not a monster."

"Human…I'm really human?" he asked hopefully, his voice breaking.

"Yes, Duo. You're human." Mimiru replied, releasing her grip on his shoulders and opening her arms wide, "C'mere you suicidal nutbar."

Duo didn't give her a chance to retract the offer and was quickly bawling into the crook of her neck and dragging her to the ground with him, chanting, "I am human…I am." in between sobs.

* * *

"Huh…wonder what's taking Mimiru so long?" Misaki wondered after Campbell the Male Stripper had left the building, "I mean really, the liquor store isn't that far away." 

As if to answer her call, the door swung open to reveal Mimiru, sans beer with a half asleep Duo Maxell on her back.

"Mimiru what on-!" Mitsuki began to cry, only to be shot down by a single look from Mikura that said 'this clearly isn't the time.'

"Where did you find him?" Michiru asked cautiously, following her elder sibling into Misaki's bedroom.

"Trying to jump off a building on one-fifty-third." Mimiru replied curtly as she shifted the taller man off her back and onto Misaki's bed,

"For **serious?**" Mikura murmured as Mimiru pulled a chair up next to the bed, "He actually tried to…?"

"Yeah. Something someone on the street said made him snap." Mimiru replied, "After all, everyone needs something to hate. And the media wants the public to hate these guys even after they've hung up their mechas."

"Meaning all of us will have to deal with something similar to this sooner or later." Misaki murmured, "Preferably later if we have a choice."

"But the fact remains that it will happed." Mikura said evenly, "And when it does, we will have to stay by their side until they are stable again, agreed?"

"No doubt." Mitsuki nodded firmly, "There is no way I'd leave Q hangin' high and dry."

"Yes, I'd never abandon Heero like that." Michiru said quietly, hands clasped tightly in front of her.

"As touching as this all is, do you think one of you could ring up Wiffle Ball?" Mimiru asked acerbically, "Someone needs to tell them Duo aint going anywhere for awhile."

* * *

"What is taking that idiot so long?" Wufei growled after the stripper had been successfully ejected, "It's been over an hour!" 

The phone, located just behind him, chose to ring at that precise moment, inducing a major spaz attack on Wufei's part.

Quatre, trying hard to repress a laugh, quickly snatched up both the phone and it's cradle before Wufei could smash it to bits.

"Hello?" he said, waiting for the person on the other end to respond.

_"Hey Quatre." _Misaki answered, _"Listen, I'm just calling to let you guys know that Duo's staying at my place tonight."_

"Really?" Quatre asked, mildly surprised, "And why is that?"

_"I'd rather not say."_ Misaki said ruefully, _"But I'm sure he will tell you eventually when he gets back."_

"Well alright then." Quatre replied, now really concerned about Duo's well being, "Thank you…for letting me know."

_"Not a problem. G'bye."_ Misaki said, cutting the connection, as well as the call, short.

As Quatre hung up the phone, Trowa caught the unnerved look on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked,

"Duo is at Misaki's." Quatre said slowly, "I think…I think something may have happened."

"If he made it there, then he must be alright." Heero reasoned, "I mean, if he was capable of walking all that way-"

"I don't think he means any thing that physical." Wufei sighed, "I think Quatre means that something might have occurred to damage him psychologically."

"**_Ohhh_**…" Heero replied with a slow nod, "Well, he **would** allow something _**stupid**_ like that to happen."

"…Heero? You're drunk aren't you?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"**Mayyybeee** I'm a lil' buzzed, but I'm _**definitely**_ not drunk yet." Heero replied vaguely.

"Oh dear **god**." Quatre groaned as Wufei suddenly leapt to his feet and darted out of the room, returning seconds later with a video camera.

"Whadd're ya doin' with that, Wufei?" Heero asked lazily, eyeing the camera training on him.

"If Maxwell's as messed up as Quatre thinks, this will get him on his feet in no time." Wufei reasoned, "Really, what would make him laugh harder than a video of you blitzed off your ass?"

"Well if you say so." Heero replied, drinking sluggishly from the bottle of sake' he had located in Wufei's hall closet.

* * *

Duo blearily opened his eyes and wondered where the hell he was and why the hell his body felt like it had gone through a rock tumbler. 

"So you're up, huh? About **damn** time."

Duo glanced to his immediate right and saw an obviously sleep deprived Mimiru glowering at him, dark circles under her eyes.

"You stay there, I'll tell the guys you're finally awake." She muttered irritably as she walked out of the room, leaving Duo to wonder what the hell she was doing there in the first place and what he couls have possibly done to make her so pissed.

After she ushered Quatre, Heero, Trowa and Wufei into the room, she shut the door behind her, leaving them alone.

"Dudes…did I do something wrong?" Duo asked dazedly, "Why's she so mad at me?"

"**_Mad _**at you?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow, "I've never seen anyone look more devoted."

"Yeah, according to Michiru, she' been up all night with you." Heero replied, "You kept having nightmares apparently."

"I don't remember any of them now." Duo said, "Man, what did I do last night."

"Oh, nothing." Quatre replied, "Just tried to kill yourself."

"**WHAT?**" Duo cried, sitting bolt upright.

"That's what Mikura told me." Trowa nodded.

"**_I DON'T REMEMBER _ANY _OF IT! WHAT THE _HELL?**" Duo yelled.

"It's called selective memory." Wufei said evenly, "You don't remember because you do not want to remember."

"Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense." Duo said warily, "I mean really, who would wanna remember something like that?"

"Not you apparently." Heero replied with a small shrug.

"By the way, Wufei, wasn't there something you wanted to give to the patient?" Quatre pressed, nudging Wufei with a smirk.

"Ah, yes." Wufei sneered, pulling out a DVD, inserting it into the DVD player at the foot of the bed as Heero paled considerably, "Let's roll the clips shall we?"

* * *

(A/N: More wedding planning, and someone has a bun in the oven! R&R!) 


	38. Civilian Life: Your really ARE?

(A/N: Hey there! Thankies my faithful reviewers! Your patience is now going to be rewarded! Who's been knocked up? Read on to find out!)

* * *

"Oh dear god. Oh dear **god**. Oh dear **_GOD!_**"

"Misaki, **calm down.**" Michiru said soothingly, giving her hyperventilating sibling a reassuring pat on the back.

"**_Calm?_**" Misaki screeched, rounding on her sibling, "**How** can I be **_calm?_** It's an** hour** til the rehearsal, the **_church_** isn't ready and **you** expect**_ me_** to be **CALM?** **_I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PANIC!_**"

"Going off on your sister isn't going to help matters." Wufei said reasonably, forcing his bride-to-be to sit down.

"Well it makes **me** feel better." Misaki harrumphed, bouncing her feet impatiently and willing her fiancé to let her out of the Mush Pot (I just loved Duck, Duck, Goose when I was a kid!)

"Just chill out." Mikura said evenly as she stood on Trowa's shoulders, "We still have an hour to get this place ready."

"Yeah, that's plenty of time." Mitsuki said serenely, balanced on a ladder, "Q? Hand me that arrangement wouldja?"

"Certainly." Quatre replied, handing up a large arrangement of flower for the archway.

"How are your legs holding up, Mikura?" Trowa asked as he moved four steps to the left so the girl in question could hang the next small array of flowers.

"Just fine Trowa." Mikura replied in a smiling voice.

"Heero? I need more ribbon and crepe paper out here!" Michiru called into the back where Heero, Duo and Mimiru were putting the bridal bouquets and corsages in the church refrigerator.

Looking up quickly, Heero gave a nod and took up a roll of each in his hands and ran out of the kitchen to assist.

"**_DONE!_**" Duo cried triumphantly as he shut the fridge door with a snap, "The flowers are in the crisper being…um…crispified I guess."

"…I'm not even going to honor that with a response." Mimiru said witheringly, grabbing his wrist, "C'mon. We still have to set up the band's equipment."

"Aw **man!**" Duo groaned as he was dragged up the stairs, "That tears it. I swear t' god, if I **_ever_** get married? Vegas man. All the way!"

* * *

"**See? **All that worrying and it went off without a hitch." Sally smirked, bouncing her three month old son, Dakota, on her knee while her hubby riffled through a diaper bag for a bottle. 

Misaki was currently slumped in sheer relief against Wufei, still unable to believe that the church was fully prepped, the rehearsal was over and done with, and she was getting married tomorrow.

"How do you feel Wufei?" Noin asked, adjusting a sock on the foot of her week old daughter, Lupe, who was currently being held by Milliardo.

"Like my brain is vibrating." Wufei answered truthfully, "This is complete sensory overload."

"Well tomorrow it will all be over and done with, Chang." Milliardo said reasonably as he placed his sleeping child in her carrier.

"That's right, so just try to bear with it until then." Heero said calmly, leaning back in his chair with his arm resting casually around Michiru's shoulders.

"That's right you two. I know it seems stressful now, but it's just a stone's throw until the big day." Sugino Hatake said reassuringly, "Then you can take as much time to relax as you need on your honeymoon."

"I'm sure they know that, Dad." Michiru said, interlacing her fingers with Heero's absently, "It's all a matter of whether or not that particular tidbit makes it past the brainstem."

"Now Michiru, be nice." Mitsuki said with a smirk, "No need to turn Misaki into a Bridezilla."

"…hey…where's Mimiru?" Misaki asked numbly, allowing her glazed eyes to scan the table to find her elder sibling AWOL.

"She said she wasn't feelin' well." Duo shrugged, "Took off for the bathroom about five minutes ago."

"Well, I'll go check on her I suppose." Misaki muttered, rising from her seat.

"Hurry now." Mikura called after her, "We're ordering desserts soon!"

* * *

"Mimiru?" Misaki called, after opening the bathroom door, "You in here?" 

The sound of someone retching in the handicapped stall was the only reply she got.

Seeing that the door hadn't been locked, she pushed it open slightly to find Mimiru giving offerings to the porcelain god.

"**_Are you alright?_**" she cried, dropping to her knees and rubbing her siblings back in an attempt to help relieve whatever ailed her stomach.

After retching one more time and flushing the toilet, Mimiru wiped her mouth with some toilet paper and turned to face her sister.

"Dunno what's wrong with me." She rasped, hand at her throat, "I just…took a sip of wine and…it just hit me wrong or somethin'…I dunno."

The story Sally had told Misaki earlier that night of how she knew she was 'expecting' suddenly sent off warning bells in the back of her mind.

"Um…Mimiru? I know this is **totally** not my business, but…have you been sleeping with anyone?" Misaki asked cautiously.

"You're right. That **_is_** none of your business." Mimiru replied croakily, "But if my sex life is **that** interesting to you, then yes, I have. Why?"

Misaki didn't answer. She allowed Mimiru herself to fill in the gaps with Michiru's own pregnancy scare.

"You don't think I'm-that's nuts." Mimiru said dismissively.

"If you can hold on about ten minutes, I can grab a pregnancy test from the drugstore." Misaki said reasonably, "Howbout it?"

"If it will put your mind at ease." Mimiru said irritably, while in the back of her mind praying those two extra pounds she had put on recently were just that.

"I'll be back. You just sit tight." Misaki said, giving her sister a pat as she exited the restroom.

With a heavy sigh, Mimiru rose to her feet and began rinsing the horrid taste of bile out of her mouth while she waited.

* * *

"What's taking those two so long?" Duo wondered aloud, "Their desserts are getting all cold…and eaten." 

Mikura nodded in agreement as she forked up yet another piece of the bride-to-be's cake.

"_**Hey!**_ Hand's off!" Wufei growled, yanking the plate away so violently he sent the Death By Chocolate cake flying into his lap.

"Ooo. Nice move there, buddeh." Mitsuki commented, smirking at the expression total disbelief on Wufei's face, "Bonus points for style."

"I don't know." Quatre remarked despite himself, "I think points should be deducted actually since he failed to break the plate."

"You may have something there, Quatre." Michiru snickered into her hand, "I might have to side with Quatre this time, Mitsuki."

"I'm afraid I disagree." Heero smirked, getting into the spirit of things in spite of himself, "I think Mitsuki makes a valid point."

"Oh, I'm not offended." Michiru said warmly.

"Hmmm…I agree with Mitsuki." Sally grinned, "You get some SERIOUS points for style there, Chang."

"I dunno." Noin smirk as the outraged look on Wufei's face grew considerably, "Quatre's point still stands: no broken plate? No bonus points."

"Whaddabout you three?" Duo asked, eyeing Milliardo, Trowa and Mikura who were still calmly eating their apple crumble.

"Neutral." They said together.

"You're no fun." Duo pouted, "So that leaves it up to me to be tie breaker!"

"Do I get **_no say_** in this?" Wufei cried indignantly as he balled up his fists.

"Nope!" Duo said cheerfully, "Now then, as I was saying-"

"And **why **is that?" Wufei growled, finally removing the cake splatter from the front of his pants, leaving a huge frosting blob.

No one spoke.

They stared from the deformed piece of cake in Wufei's hand, to the frosting glob that looked surprisingly like G.W.B., to Wufei's face, to the cake again…

…and exploded with laughter, leaving poor Wufei to wonder what was so goddamn funny.

* * *

"How's it going in there?" Misaki called into the stall after delivering the test. 

"**Shut it!**" Mimiru snapped, "**_Honestly!_** Do you **know** how hard it is to pee on a stick?"

Misaki couldn't repress the snort of laughter that burst from her nostrils…which was quickly followed by a string of mumbled curses from Mimiru, wishing ill fortune on her sibling and family (…your related smart one)

The door to the handicapped stall burst open and Mimiru stalked out, test in hand.

She promptly set it on the counter and began washing her hands, muttering to herself.

"Alright." Mimiru said, rounding on her sibling, "Do you **_KNOW_** how difficult it is to piss on one of those itty-bitty test strips with out getting **crap** all over your hands? It's **_damn_** near impossible!"

Misaki held her breath in an attempt to suppress the laughter building up in her throat, but failed miserably and wound up laughing hysterically in her elder sister's face.

"I **fail** to see what's so funny." Mimiru growled, eyes flashing.

"Yuh-yuh-**_YOU!_**" Misaki managed to gap out between peals of laughter, "If you would take the time to re-examine what you just said, you'd be on your **ASS** right now!"

Mimiru quirked an eyebrow at her sibling and shook her head before glancing at the test.

"Uh…oh…" she mumbled.

"Whuz wrong? "Misaki asked weakly, trying to catch her breath.

"Let's just say…that this is one test I wish I would've failed." Mimiru said ruefully, Misaki's mouth closing abruptly upon seeing the positive reading.

"Oh…well…" Misaki said in an overly bright voice, swallowing hard, "Should I get…"

"Yeah…" Mimiru mumbled, running her fingers through her hair, "Get…yeah…"

* * *

Duo was on his knees gasping for air when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. 

"Oh….huh-hey Mi-Misaki." Duo grinned…until he caught sight ofer her grave expression, "Whuh-whazzup? Who died?"

"Women's restroom." Misaki said simply, "Mimiru needs to talk to you."

"…okay." Duo said, quirking his eyebrow at her as he climbed to his feet and walked off in the direction of the restrooms.

_"Wonder what she wants?"_ He thought, a smirk appearing on his face, _"I wonder if she wants t'…nah! That'd be too dirty, even for her!"_

He rounded a corner and found Mimiru waiting for him outside the bathrooms, looking very severe for such a happy time.

"Hey Mimi….what's up?" He asked nervously, feeling the gravity of the situation even though he didn't know exactly what was going on just yet.

"Oh, it's not what's up….it's what's down." Mimiru said evenly, moving her left hand down, down, down…coming to rest over her uterus.

"You're kidding right?" Duo said paling slightly as she held up her pregnancy test.

"I wish." She sighed, "Duo…I'm pregnant. You're the only guy I've slept with. I'm not going to force you be a father tho'."

"You're…you're not?" Duo said, mind still reeling from the impact that Mimiru was pregnant.

"No." she said calmly, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of this child on my own. Whether you are, or are not a part of it's life is up to you."

She turned to return to the rehearsal dinner only to have Duo whirl her around in wrap her in a bone crushing hug (which, isn't saying much if you recall she already had broken ribs)

"**I'M GONNA BE A _DAD?_ THIS IS-I MEAN, _WOW!_**" Duo whooped, spinning her around.

"**_Ow_ow_ow!_**" Mimiru gasped, yelping in pain, "Need **air!** **_Crushing_**…**ribs**…**_into_**…**lungs!**"

"**_Sorry!_ Sorry!**" Duo said quickly, immediately loosening his grip, but not letting her go, "This is just **_too_** out there! I always thought about kids, but I **never** thought I'd live long enough to **_have'm!_**"

"That's lovely Duo, but really, you **gotta** let me go!" Mimiru squealed, "Whether you realize it or not, you're **_hurting _**me!"

"I've gotta tell the guys!" Duo cried suddenly, swooping forward and giving her a kiss on the cheek before releasng her and returning to the dining room.

"Shit, that hurt." Mimiru winced, touching her ribcage lightly, and flinching at the contact.

"**HEY _GUYS!_ GUESS _WHAT!_**" reached her ears and she let loose an exasperated sigh.

"Oh brother." Mimiru snorted, "I better calm him down before he gets us ejected from the restaurant."

* * *

(A/N: Wedding Day MAYHEM! A declaration of war...on Trowa Barton? And much, much more! R&R!)


	39. Civilian Life: You Are Cordially Invited

(A/N: Everyone knows that wedding days are chaos, and this one is no exception! In this chapter, the big day has FINALLY arrived and for all of you out there who foolish think it's going to go off without a hitch, you are sadly mistaken! SO READ ON!)

* * *

"**God_damn_ it!** Why wont this thing **_fit?_**" Mitsuki snarled, trying to force her bridesmaid gown over her thighs.

"**Mitsuki!** Don't **_swear!_** We're in a **church** for th' love of Pete!" Mikura said reproachfully as she fussed with her hair.

"And that's **_MY_** dress." Mimiru said dryly, throwing another dress on her sister's head, "I wear the two, you wear the eight. You grabbed the **wrong dress**, smart one."

"I can't find the pearl hair pin **_daddy_** gave me! Where **is** it?" Michiru cried, now tearing the small room apart in her frenzied search.

"It's already in your hair, Michiru." Sally snickered, watching the girl four years her junior flush with embarrassment, "Now take a breather."

"No need to add to the tension, eh?" Noin smirked, fumbling behind her back in search of her dress's elusive zipper, "**Oi**, somebody zip me up, please?"

"Where the **_hell _**did I put my **make up?**" Misaki wailed, skirt hefted up and tied around her knees as she scurried frantically around the room in search of her missing kit.

"It's under here." Mikura called, tossing aside a stray bridesmaid gown that littered the carpeted floor to reveal Misaki's makeup case.

"Wait…why do we have an extra dress? Who's missing?" Hilde asked, darting over to Noin to zip her up and nearly face planting over an ottoman.

"Relena." Michiru replied sourly, "She said she wouldn't be attending if I was…along with a few other choice words that I'll have to omit given our current location."

"Okay, Misaki? Remind me to rearrange the Vice Foreign Minister's face…at a later date of course." Mimiru murmured, the pregnant woman's ire cloaked behind a mask of seraphic calm.

"Relena, smack around, some other day than my wedding day - got it." Misaki rattled off, untying the train of her dress from around her knees as she sat down to apply her makeup.

"**_Hey_**, no getting angry." Mitsuki scolded, rapping Mimiru on the back of the head lightly, "We don't want you to miscarry."

"Yeah." Mikura agreed, giving her sister's shoulder a pat before going to pin up her hair, "Peacecraft just isn't worth getting angry over."

* * *

"Has anyone seen my tie? I know I set it down around here somewhere." Wufei said scouring the room for the article of clothing, 

"**_Screw_ your tie! I can't find _my_ suit!" **Duo cried, "I've found Q's, T-Ball's and Pokerface's but I can't find **_mine_** any where!"

"Um…I think I might be sitting on it." Quatre blushed from his spot on the couch, pulling a tux sheathed in plastic complete with hanger, out from under him, "And I was right."

"Where are the corsages?" Trowa asked as he strode by, knotting his own tie, "Are they still in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, can somebody help me find my tie? I've got Wufei's." Heero said, holding up the article that was promptly snatched away by the groom.

"To answer your question, yes Barton. They are still in the kitchen." Milliardo said calmly, adjusting the lapel of his jacket.

"_**Here it is!**_" Wufei called, tossing Heero his tie, "And hurry it **up** Maxwell! We have less than an hour before this thing starts."

"Glad to see **_you're_** as anal retentive as ever." Duo snorted as he hopped into his black tuxedo pants.

"Trowa, come with me to get the corsages please." Quatre said, "I can't carry them all at once and I don't want them getting crushed."

"Alright." Trowa nodded, following the young Arab out of the changing room and towards the kitchen.

"Wufei, what on **earth **are you doing? That is not how you tie a tie." Heero said severely, gripping the fabric in his hands and undoing Wufei's mistake.

"I would like to see**_ you_** say that on your own wedding day." Milliardo smirked as he smoothed aside some stray hairs, "It's only nerves."

"Yes, I look forward to seeing you on **_your_** wedding day." Wufei growled, a smirk appearing on his lips, "You'll probably forget how to tie your own **shoes**."

* * *

"**_We have a_ problem!**" Mitsuki yelled, cell phone in hand, "I just got off the phone with dadchaman - he can't **_make it!_** He's got **strep!**" 

"Oh **_god!_**" Misaki cried, crumpling to the floor, "Whose going to walk me down the **aisle?** This is a _**disaster!**_"

"I'll do it. Obviously." Mimiru said as though this had been planned from the start, "I'm the eldest. So I'll do it."

"But who'll be the maid of **honor** then?" Misaki wailed, holding back tears so her makeup wouldn't smear and settling on rapping her head against a wall to compensate.

"I thought we already decided on Noin." Mikura said blandly, refusing to add fuel to her sister's fire.

"All this stress is really addling your brain." Hilde said, dragging the girl away from the wall and forcing into a seated position on the sofa, "A wedding is a happy time – take a chill pill, girl."

Misaki looked up at her sibling with a blank expression on her face that quickly morphed into a fierce scowl.

"I am **_so _**going to laugh at you on your wedding day when **you're** a fucked up jumble of nerves." She muttered, sticking out her lower lip as far as it could go.

"Yes, but you'll have to wait for that." Sally said calmly, adjusting her hair slightly in the mirror, "Today is all about you."

"I've got the bouquets." Noin called, re-entering the bridal chamber, "Here's yours Mitsuki, and Mikura's, Misaki's of course, Mimiru's, mine, Sally's and Michiru's."

"**_Oh!_** That's **right!**" Mikura said, palming her fist, "I better go tell the boys about the change in plans."

"Just don't start playing tonsil hockey with Trowa." Michiru teased, drawing a smirk from her sister as she exited the chamber.

* * *

"Alright every body prepped and ready?" Wufei asked as a knock came at the door, "It's about **_time_**, Sugino! Where have you-…huh?" 

Mikura stood in the doorway, not Sugino Hatake as expected, hand poised to knock again.

"There's been a slight change in plans." Mikura said serenely, "Mimiru will be walking Misaki down the aisle. Father's fallen ill."

"**WHAT?**" Wufei cried, visibly paling as Mikura turned on her heel, "**_What_** did you say?"

"Thought you'd wanna know." Mikura said evenly, flashing Trowa a quick smile before she walked off in the direction of the bridal chamber.

"Of course. Ain't it always the way." Duo sighed, standing before a mirror as he pinned his corsage to his lapel.

"This is a nightmare." Milliardo commented calmly, cinching his belt, "And Maxwell? Straighten your tie."

"I will not panic." Wufei chanted to himself, massaging his temples and pacing around the room, "I am calm – **repeat! **Calm."

"Really now…you sure don't look it." Trowa noted coolly, already prepped to go and reading a book on the sofa.

"Trowa, no need to stoke the fire." Quatre said worriedly as Wufei began wearing a rut in the floor from his constant pacing.

Heero let loose a noisy sigh, walked in front of Wufei and grabbed him by the shoulders, bringing the relentless pacing to a halt.

"Calm down." He said evenly, "Take a deep breath. Just remember, in two minutes, this will all be over with."

"**_TWO MINUTES?_**" Wufei cried, head snapping up to stare at the clock, eyes widening into dinner plates, "**WHAT ARE YOU ALL JUST STANDING _AROUND_ FOR? GET OUT AND _INTO_ POSITION! _MOVEIT_MOVEIT_MOVEIT!_**"

* * *

"_You look gorgeous, sis._" Mimiru whispered as they made their way to the fron of the church, organs playing an unidentifiable, yet still beautiful tune. 

"_Thank you._" Misaki whispered back, looking far calmer than she had only moments before in the bridal chamber as they reached the front of the church.

"Dearly beloved, we are her today to witness the blessed union of Sugino Misaki and Chang Wufei." The priest began, causing a round of approving nods throughout the church.

"Who gives this woman away?" the priest asked, lifting his gaze from the religious text before him.

Mimiru opened her mouth to say the words 'I do' but she was rudely interrupted by a person in the fourth row of pews.

"**NOBODY** **_does!_**" the disgruntled looking man snarled as he stormed down the aisle, "Misaki I will **NOT** allow you to marry this-**this**-!"

Duo was only too glad to offer this stranger each insult as he thought of it, "Scumbag? Bastard? Rotten scoundrel? Asshole? Shithead? Jackass?"

The Sugino sister's fierce glares grew more vehement with each word, but they didn't move to strike Mimiru's baby daddy.

Suddenly, Wufei took a step towards the man, eyeing him carefully, "Do I know you? You look disturbingly familiar."

"I should, you woman stealing **_jackass!_**" the man growled, shooting a grateful look at Duo while everyone else stared at him incredulously. "You **stole **her from me!"

"…Roy? Roy Delgado is that **_you?_**" (see ch. 3) Misaki asked in a dangerous tone, angry tears dancing in her eyes as her wedding day fell to pieces around her, "**HOW _DARE_ YOU DO THIS TO ME ON MY WEDDING DAY, YOU _SLIME!_ GET _OUT!_**"

Two armed security officers, who had been watching the door, were drawn into the chapel by all the commotion and dragged Roy out, thrashing violently.

* * *

"Okay then, moving on." Sally said evenly, "Give the girl to her groom, Mimiru. Father, if you would be so kind as to please repeat the question…" 

"Uh…err…" Everyone seemed to be quite rattled by the sudden outburst, so the priest decided that moving forward probably was for the best.

He shrugged good-naturedly, and repeated, "Who gives away this girl?"

"I do." Mimiru said peacefully, allowing Wufei to move forward and take her arms before finding her place among the bridesmaids.

The priest dabbed at his forehead with a kerchief before he started going into the actual spoken part of the ceremony – when he got to his part where he asked those attending if there were any objections to the union, there was a loud, yet muffled, cry from behind the now sealed chapel doors.

It was obvious to everyone that security was having a very difficult time restraining Misaki's ex and Hilde, starting to look as wound up as the bride from her seat in the first row of pews, helpfully dialed nine-one-one.

Noin, the G-Boys and the Sugino Quints looked anxiously toward the doors, then said to the priest, "**Nope!** No objections! Just hurry! **_HURRY!_**"

The priest nodded, and hurried through the rest of his speaking, and, **finally**, pronounced Wufei and Misaki husband and wife.

Mimiru seemed to sag between Noin and Sally in a half-faint from a mixture of sheer relief and stress.

Mitsuki fell to her knees and let loose a breathe she had been subconsciously holding, Quatre moving to assist her to her feet.

Trowa seeing Mikura begin to sway back and forth on her feet, realized she, like Mitsuki, had also forgotten to breathe and caught her before she sank to the floor.

Michiru began to cry like baby from sheer relief and Heero looked confused as to why, thinking that she would be happy for her sister (...so slow, yet so cute - it evens out)

Duo strode forward and slung Mimiru's arm over his shoulder, helping her stand properly.

Misaki and Wufei hurried down the aisle to leave for the quick reception then the honeymoon, which was going to be _**very**_ private, so Roy couldn't find them.

* * *

"What a day, huh?" Mikura said, leaning tiredly against Trowa's shoulder, her high-heeled pumps dangling from her fingers. 

"I know…let's not do that again. At least…not for awhile anyway." Trowa murmured, drawing a snicker from the kendo instructor.

"Are you implying something, Trowa?" Mikura said mischievously, not moving from her current position.

"Perhaps…perhaps not." Trowa smirked, sliding an arm around her shoulder and leaning against her.

"Tease." Mikura snorted, allowing herself to be pulled closer.

"So Roy was **RIGHT!** You **_ARE _**here!"

Mikura's formerly closed eyes snapped open and she involuntarily jerked away from Trowa.

A man, also disturbingly familiar in appearance stood over the pair, glaring at Trowa viciously.

"Hatozaki…Tsunuga." Trowa said slowly, eyes narrowing coldly as he remembered the mutilated pet mice (see ch. 7)

"Tsunuga…I thought I told you nine years ago we we're **done**." Mikura said crisply, folding her arms over her chest.

"I **_refuse_** to accept that." Tsunuga said, taking a step forward, "Just because this Casanova blinded you doesn't mean I'll give up so easily!"

He redirected his incensed gaze at Trowa, pure venom reflecting in his eyes.

"I'm issuing a direct declaration of war." He growled, holding Trowa's cold, fathomless stare, "One week. If I haven't won her back by then, I shall step aside gracefully."

"Very well." Trowa said calmly, "May the best man win."

"Oh, I will." Tsunuga sneered as he walked off, "I'll be waiting with bated breath to see what your first move is."

The pair watched him go.

"Yuh...it's official…he's a loon." Mikura said dully.

"A loony loon." Trowa added as their gaze met, small smirks forming.

"A loony, loony, loony tunes loon." They said together, shaking their heads.

"You'll call Dawson?" Trowa asked, having had the pleasure of meeting the behemoth at the reception.

"I'll call Dawson." Mikura sighed, fishing out her cell.

* * *

(A/N: The girls go to visit their father to find out that he's done something unthinkable! To find out what, R&R! And yes, **I _AM_ THAT EVIL!** **_MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_**)


	40. Civilian Life: Gold Digga

(A/N: Wee! Have Imentioned lately how awesome you guys are? I don't think that I have! Well, I repepat - YOU. GUYS. RAAAAAAAAAWWWWK! I'm so close to two hundred reviews I can almost taste it! At any rate, read on mah faithfuls, read on!)

* * *

After Dawson, the shaved Lt. Armstrong lookalike, frightened off Hatozaki Tsunuga, both Trowa and Mikura thought things would cool off for awhile - but alas, this proved to be a dream too far. 

Not three weeks after the wedding, the G-Boy's and four of five Sugino Girls received an urgent phone call from Mimiru telling them to meet outside the mansion, **ASAP**.

"I wonder what the rush is about?" Quatre wondered as he and Mitsuki, who had been on their way to a Go-kart track for a date (via Mitsuki's request) at the time of the phone call.

"I don't know." Mitsuki murmured, eyes squeezed shut with worry as she exited the car, "But she sounded positively frantic, which isn't good when you're dealing with a pregnant woman."

"**That's_ for sure!_**" Misaki called loudly over the sonorous sound of the chopper blades as the helicopter she and Wufei rode in let them out, "**_It_ better _be big if she's dragging me and Wiffle Ball away from _Tahiti.**"

"Regardless of whether the trip was all expenses paid or not, we only get so much time with each other before we go back to work." Wufei growled as he followed his wife, the chopper disappearing from sight.

"Does anybody know** any** details?" Michiru asked, striding up with Heero in tow, "I had to run out on closing a multi-billion dollar business deal."

"What I was doing is classified information." Heero said calmly, quickly stowing away a handgun in his chest holster, "But I can say that it was exceedingly important – let's leave it at that."

"Honestly, I had to run out on training Emperor Akihito's private body guards." Mikura sighed ruefully, still in her kendo hakama and armor combo with bokuto in hand.

"Like Heero, my workings are also classified." Trowa said, appearing on Mikura's left, patting her shoulder lightly, "But don't let it weigh on your mind too muh-"

"_PSSSST! GUYS! Over here._"

Everyone turned to see Duo, hair back to it's old length, and a Mimiru, who looked as though she hadn't gained a pound although she was at least a month and a half along (thanks to her psychotic trining schedule and super fast metabolism) beckoning to them from a line of hedges not ten yards away.

Sharing a look at Mimiru's odd behavior, disregarding Duo as he had always been rather prone to it in their opinion, they moved towards them.

* * *

"So what's up?" Mitsuki asked, only to have Duo clamp a hand over her mouth. 

"_SHHHHH!_" He hissed, eyes darting frantically right and left, "_Not so loud! She'll hear you!_"

Now the Sugino Quints minus one looked worried.

"She? As in…a woman?" Misaki said warily, inching a bit closer to Duo, eyes filed a mixture of fear and disgust.

"There's a woman? In OUR house?" Mitsuki hissed, remembering to keep her voice down even though at the moment she wanted to scream.

"_When did this happen?_" Michiru whispered, looking positively horrified at the idea of some intruder on the property.

"Who is she?" Mikura growled quietly, looking ready to haul Duo off and interrogate him Sengoku style.

"Come with me." Mimiru said, looking like she didn't know what to be at the moment - infuriated or piteous, "Prepare to hold your stomachs."

All ten moved forward, around the outer perimeter, making sure they were completely concealed by hedges until they reached the outdoor pool.

"There she is." Duo said, not even trying to hide his disdain as he parted the bushes so the other eight could get a good hard look at the enemy, "Your dad's new wife."

* * *

Eight jaws dropped at the same time – she was as skinny as Mimiru, as tall as Mikura (now stands 5' 8"), as blonde and blue-eyed as Dorothy Catalonia and as gorgeous as Heidi Klüm…there was just the small problem that – 

"She's _**our**_ age." Trowa gawked, eyes wide as dinner plates as he looked at the obviously twenty four year old woman.

"How could he marry someone who's the same age as his…" Wufei mumbled trying to process the information, but for some reason, it wouldn't compute.

"Maybe she's really in love with him." Quatre said uncertainly as the woman let loose a contented sigh and moved to test the water.

"Yes, and maybe Saturn's rings are made of rock candy." Heero said irritably, folding his arms in an obvious gesture of antipathy.

"It's **disgusting** how she hangs all over him." Mimiru spat, "All she **_wants_** is his **money**. Everyone and their **_grandmother_** knows it."

"_She's a golddigger?_" Misaki gasped, eyes narrowing fiercely at the woman she now regarded as public enemy number one.

"You know it." Duo replied with a frustrated sigh, "And I have the proof, even though Hatake refuses to believe it."

"_What proof do you have?_" Mikura whispered, eyes glittering hopefully at Duo as her grip visibly tightened on her bokuto.

"Her raiding Hatake's wallet." He replied, "She took every bill inside before bringing his car keys to him. I've got it on tape."

"I got suspicious after dad kept saying he didn't know how and when he was spending so much money." Mimiru said calmly.

"Not to mention that sleazy skank could probably get any man she wants, but decides to sink her plastic nails into our fourty-nine year old father?" Mitsuki said, eyes narrowed angrily.

"Not bloody likely." Quatre sighed, retracting his earlier statement wearily, "So…what're we gonna do?"

"Well, she hasn't had the pleasure of meeting us yet." Michiru smirked, her corporate mind abuzz with takeover plots that could be applied to this situation, "At least…not all at once."

"True." Duo said thoughtfully, a malicious smirk forming on his lips, "So…I suppose its time to give 'hell on heels' a whole new meaning eh?"

"You know it." Trowa said, an equally wicked smile forming on his own lips as he gazed at the Sugino girls, "Make this introduction surpass our own first encounter."

Thoughts of their first meeting with their former bodyguards (see ch.1 & 2) filtered through the girls minds, as did several cruel ideas of what they could do to this golddigger.

* * *

"**Yo! _Dad!_ We're _hooooome!_**" Misaki called boisterously, striding into the mansion as she mentally prepped herself for the embodiment of evil that would surely come to greet her with her father. 

"So soon? Well, none the less, it's so good to see you!" Hatake said, hurrying out to meet her, new wife, as expected, hanging on him like a bad scarf.

"Um, papa? Who's this?" Michiru asked, narrowing her eyes at the woman in a way that clearly told her,_ 'Get your saline boobs away from my dad, bitch.'_

"Oh, I suppose I should introduce you, as you'll be seeing more of her." Hatake said nervously, the murderous looks on his daughter's faces not lost on him, "This is Jazlyn Cole, my new wife dears."

Jazlyn, however, appeared oblivious, _appeared_ being the key word here, and smiled at the large assembly in the entryway.

"Dear, are these the girls you told me about?" she purred, nipping at his earlobe, "I've already had the pleasure of meeting your eldest and her boyfriend, but as for the rest of you…"

Trowa made sure his arms maintained their firm grip on Mikura's shoulders as it appeared she was only milliseconds from flying at this homewrecker and ripping her lips off.

Quatre gave Mitsuki's hand a firm squeeze with is left as he felt her lurch forward in an attempt to get Jazlyn away from her father, wraping his right arm around her waist.

Duo wrapped his hands around Mimiru's sinewy shoulder muscles and could practically feel her seething hatred rolling off her in waves.

"Cool it." he muttered, leaning down low to whisper the warning into her ear, "Remember the baby."

She instantaneously relaxed.

"He mentioned us to you, hm?" Misaki murmured, a deep frown set on her face, "That's funny Jaz…he didn't say a **THING** about **_YOU_**."

"He wanted it to be a surprise." Jazlyn said with a saccharine smile, "So…are you?"

"Very." Wufei said, face reverting to its deathly serious expression from war times with OZ, before muttering under his breath, "However, this one is most unwelcome."

"Hmm? What was that?" Jazlyn asked sweetly, batting her long eyelashes.

"Nothing." Quatre said quickly, "But it's a rather hot day, Hatake. Would it be alright if we used the outdoor pool?"

"Certainly." Hatake said with a smile, "It would be the perfect opportunity for the girls to get to know Jazlyn."

_"Yeah."_ the girls thought together, smirking cruelly, _"Absolutely perfect."_

* * *

"So…you're our dad's new wife, hmm?" Mitsuki said, stating as a fact rather than a question as she climbed the ladder to the diving board. 

"That's right." Jazlyn smiled in an oh-so fake way, "So I guess that would make me your new mom"

"So Jaz…dya mind if I call you Jaz?" Mikura asked as she floated by the woman who was so obviously her age.

"Actually, I would prefer if you called me Jazlyn." She replied curtly.

"Anyway Jaz-" Michiru continued, picking up where Mikura had left off, "-what was it that drew you to our father in the first place?"

Jazlyn appeared to look thoughtful for a moment, again, _'appeared'_ being the keyword here, before replying-

"Well he's sweet…kind, **very** funny…" Jazlyn said, looking like she was going to continue, but Trowa cut her off.

"So it had _**nothing**_ to do with his money?" he said evenly as he allowed his feet to hang over the lip of the pool into the water.

Jazlyn regarded Trowa coolly, a crafty smirk on her lips.

"Well…that was a very nice side deal." She remarked, letting her mask fall for a second as a avaricious smirk danced across her lips.

"I can easily see why he would fall for you." Heero said calmly as he applied sunscreen, "You are young, beautiful (Michiru glared at him), and for some reason known only to yourself, apparently interested in him – a lonely widower of fourty-nine."

* * *

Mitsuki chose that opportunity to cannonball off the diving board, sending a tidal wave cascading over Jazlyn's head. 

She came up sputtering and gasping for air, glaring viciously at Mikura, whom she mistook for Mitsuki.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mikura grinned, playing the part of her sibling who was current swimming along the bottom of the pool, "Are you alright, Jaz?"

"It's Jazlyn." She growled, pulling herself out of the water, before snapping with an authority she so didn't have, "One of you go get my sunscreen - I left it in the house."

"Sure thing, Succubus." Misaki and Mimiru said together, rushing for the house eagerly.

"**_What did you say?_**" Jazlyn asked, glaring at the two as they hurried away.

"Nothing, nothing." Mikura, Mitsuki and Michiru said in unison, "They didn't say a thing...**Succubus!**"

Before Jazlyn could get a word in edgewise, all three darted underwater.

"What's their deal?" Quatre asked Duo in a hushed whisper, looking at at the braided man sitting on the lip of the pool, .

"Yeah, they sure seemed eager to help." Wufei muttered, swimming up to join them.

"You'll see." He grinned, leaning back on his hands as both girls returned with the aforementioned sunscreen in hand.

"Here you go Jaz." Mitsuki smiled handing the bottle to her Succubus stepmother, who glowered darkly at the nickname.

"**_Here! _**I'll do your back for you!" Mimiru offered, squirting some of the substance into her hand.

"Thank you." Jazlyn harrumphed, thankful for some cooperation - finally - as she lay down on her stomach.

Mimiru finished up quickly and returned to the pool, trying hard not to laugh.

"Well? What did you **do?**" Heero demanded to know as he floated by on an air matress.

"You'll see." She said mysteriously, watching her Succubus stepmom fall asleep in the high noon sunlight.

* * *

"**_AAAAAAAAAUGH!_** I don't under**stand!** How did I get **_sunburned?_**" Jazlyn howled several hours later, currently as red as a freshly boiled lobster, "I put **on** sunscreen! This is **_insane!_** Owww..." 

"You say that you did dear, but **obviously**, you didn't." Hatake said pacifyingly, rubbing more aloe vera on the total body burn.

"So what did you replace it with?" Duo snickered as they watched from the kitchen, "Horseradish, or mayo?"

"Mayo." Misaki giggled, stifling her laughter with her hand, "Horseradish would stink too much!"

"Isn't this a just **_bit_** extreme?" Quatre asked anxiously, wringing his hands as he watched the golddigger hiss in pain from her sunburn.

"No." all five girls replied in a monotonous tone, "We. Want. Her. Gone. **NOW**. Her days of leeching off our dad are **_DONE_**."

"Quatre, just think of this as one more war." Trowa said peacefully, "Think of that woman as the Romefeller Foundation that we must wipe out of this household."

"Yes, that should make it easier." Heero said calmly as he strode towards the fridge to get a beer.

"Unless you're going to grab a soda, Yuy, you'll stop right where you are." Wufei called without turning around, but selecting a knife from the rack in front of him.

* * *

(A/N: The plans continue to rid the Sugino household of Jazlyn. Shiba the snow leopard, a tank of frogs and prehaps hair removal cream will be involved! R&R peeps!) 


	41. Civilian Life: Operation Succubus Pt1

(A/N: It's Part On of Operation Succubus! Read On Mah Peeps!)

* * *

The weather in Japan had decided to turn, apparently deciding to mirror the Sugino girl's current ire towards their new stepmommy by slicing the dark sky to ribbons with bolts of lightning.

Inside the mansion, four of five girls were in the kitchen, preparing dinner before the electricity decided to turn its back on them and enshroud them entirely in darkness.

"Is it almost time?" Mitsuki muttered under her breath as she reached across the counter for another carrot to peel for the stew they were making for dinner.

"Getting there." Misaki mumbled, chopping meat idly as her gaze flickered back to the clock and coming within centimeters of slicing her fingertips.

"Only about fifteen minutes until they get home." Mimiru murmured under her breath, evenly slicing a celery stalk and reaching for a zucchini.

"Oh, hurry it **up**, **_Mikura_**. This just** too** nerve racking!" Michiru moaned, dragging a sack of potatoes up from the cellar and kicking the door shut behind her.

What has the girls so antsy?

Their father and Jazlyn (the one they have oh, so affectionately nicknamed the Succubus) have gone out to dinner, leaving them alone for the rest of the night.

But wait, if they're going to be out for the remainder of the night, who are they waiting on, you ask?

Why, their **_men_**, of course!

They were sent out on mission of 'the utmost importance' (Michiru's words; not mine) by the Sugino's to collect some quote-un-quote "Live Cargo" over an hour ago and were expected back any minute now.

* * *

As for Mikura, who is also on an assignment vital to the survival of her family, she is currently upstairs in Jazlyn's bathroom tinkering around with the bleached blonde woman's special color retaining shampoo. 

She had a vindictive smile on her face, a dye applicator she had pilfered from the medicine cabinet in hand, and a bottle of extra strength hair remover in the other.

She unscrewed the caps to both the hair remover and the dye applicator and carefully poured the white, acidic smelling substance inside.

Job done, she screwed both lids back on and began scanning Jazlyn's shower until she found the bottle she was looking for - Jazlyn's favorite shampoo - the one she just **HAD** to special order from Milan.

She snatched it up, unscrewed the lid of the bottle and dumped it's contents in to the latrine, which she then flushed and sat on so she could concentrate (that's an oxymoron dear)

Grabbing the dye applicator (currently filled with hair remover) she filled the once half-empty bottle three quarters of the way full with hair removal cream and gave it an all mighty shake so it would retain the same scent as the shampoo and not give away her plan.

She then returned the bottle to it's proper place, grabbed the rest of her tools and disappeared from the bathroom, remembering to toss her gloves in the kitchen so she could help with dinner prep.

"Heh…oh Jaz…just think of the bald look as…en vogue." Mikura snickered to herself as she trotted down the stairs, "I mean after all…it works for Sean John."

* * *

Outside the Sugino mansion a sport utility had just pulled up and a familiar blonde had just hopped out. 

"_**Oi**_…any ideas on **WHY** they wanted two tanks of live frogs?" Quatre huffed as he helped Heero with what shall now be dubbed as tank one.

All five men are rather irritated as it is currently raining in sheets and they are attempting to heavy two tanks, weighing in at about seventy-five to a hundred pounds each, into the house that presently looked as though it was about five miles away from them (even though it was only ten feet away)

"I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know." Wufei grunted, helping Duo with tank two, "But I'm sure they will be more than happy to fill us in."

"I also have a feeling that Maxwell is in on this." Heero muttered as Trowa unloaded the frog's food (live flies and other insect life, all alive of course) from the back of the vehicle.

"Your feelings are correct, _**Heeeeeero**_." Duo snickered, grinning at the Perfect Soldier over the loudly croaking tank sloshing in his arms.

"Duo, there's no need for theatrics." Trowa said evenly as another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky.

Suddenly the entire mansion as a whole seemed to glow…then was blanketed by darkness.

Female screams of frustration and pain from within the building soon followed the total blackout and the progression of the former G-Boys accelerated quite a bit.

Heero kicked the door open and all five men followed their ears to the kitchen.

"Everybody alright?" Duo called, setting his end of the tank down on the marble floor, Heero already two steps ahead of him having already dropped his end causing the frogs inside the tank to croak loudly to express their objection to being treated so roughly.

"Been better." A voice directly in front of them grumbled irritably, by the sound of it, in quite a lot of pain.

"Mikura, are you okay?" Trowa demand to know, keeping his voice level as he approached the bottom of the stair.

"Oh, just peachy." She muttered acerbically from the gloom, "Just fell down some stairs, twisted my ankle. No biggie."

* * *

Heero, Duo, Wufei and Quatre left Trowa to deal with his cursing girlfriend, moving on to the kitchen where one girl was crying in pain over the counter, one was standing perfectly still by the pantry, one was walking along the wall, and one sitting on the floor. 

"Mimiru?" Duo asked the figure by the food cupboard, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

"**Ooo!** So close, but no." Mitsuki's voice came laughingly, "She's currently making her way towards the basement door, lover boy."

"Misaki? Is that you?" Wufei asked, his eyes a bit more accustomed to the extreme darkness.

The hiccupping figure over the cutting board twitched slightly and nodded by way of reply, bleeding finger in her mouth and knife in her hand (cut it when the lights went out)

"Michiru, why are you on the floor?" Heero asked, reaching down to help her to her feet.

"Mimiru told everyone to freeze right where they were so no one would get hurt." Michiru replied, back on her feet again.

"Duo is helping her find the circuit breaker." Quatre commented, having joined his girlfriend by the pantry, "Mitsuki just filled me in."

The lights suddenly came on in a blinding flash, drawing a fresh string of curses from Mikura as Trowa assisted her into the kitchen.

"**_Correction_**." Duo called as he and Mimiru appeared at the top of the basement stairs, "**Was** helping her find the circuit breaker."

"Better get a Band-Aid on that, Misaki." Mimiru said evenly, eyeing the finger stick stuck in her sibling's mouth.

"Nuh, heally? Yuh hink?" Misaki scowled, not removing the finger and stalking towards the bathroom.

* * *

"Alright…now, if Christianity has taught us anything, it's that the Christian god is vengeful." Michiru said, smirking down at the PVC pipe and loudly croaking frogs. 

Heero snickered in approval at his girlfriend's shrewd, calculating mind.

"Heh heh. I get it." Duo snickered, recalling his childhood days of bible study, "The second plague, huh? Oh, this is **_too_** good."

"Well, we wanted to do locusts, but…wrong season." Mikura sighed wistfully, obviously thinking about the 'the plague that could have been.'

"Isn't this a little extr-wait, I already know what you're going to say. Never mind." Quatre said tiredly as Mitsuki walked over to him and sat down.

"So where are you going to set this up?" Trowa asked, a smirk on his lips as he wrapped an ace bandage around Mikura's swollen ankle.

"Over her chaise lounge." Mitsuki grinned, reclining against Quatre and wrapping his arms around her middle.

"We've consulted the staff and security footage." Misaki said, far less irritable than she had been minutes earlier, "She always takes a nap on her chaise lounge every single day at precisely two ten."

Wufei eyes widened considerably as sat there, mesmerized by his wife's intelligence gathering skills.

"I love you." he said, drawing rather shocked looks from every person in the room (it's the first time he's said it out loud) but after she recovered from her shock, Misaki grinned broadly and snuggled up to him.

"At any rate, when she goes in for her nap tomorrow, that's when we strike." Mimiru said, letting loose a contented sigh as Duo did a very gentlemanly thing by massaging her swollen feet.

"Your feet are as big as tubs." Duo remarked without malice, "You really should easy up on the traini-"

"Not on your life, hun." Mimiru said flatly, patting him on the head as he let loose a snort, "But thanks for worrying."

* * *

"Wow…I **never** get over how fantastic this shampoo feels!" Jazlyn cooed enthusiastically as she worked even more of the substance into her scalp, "It makes every single pore on my scalp tingle." 

Jazlyn and Sugino Hatake had arrived home late yesterday evening and that morning, she had decided to take a shower, wondering why Mikura was smiling at her in such an expectant manner.

When she asked why, the reply had been-

"Oh, I just want to take one myself. Don't use all the hot water, would you?"

"Bah. I use as much hot water as I **_damn_** well **please**." Jazlyn smirked to herself, rinsing out the two in one shampoo and climbing out of the shower.

She walked over the vanity she had insisted Hatake buy for her in France and proceeded to brush her hair…and watched in horror as it began to fall away from her scalp in clumps.

Reaching up with disbelieving hands, she ran both of them back…watching in utter dismay as her hair fell away like a cheap wig.

"**_Ah_**…**ah**…**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_**"

Mimiru, who had volunteered to be the patsy in this case, calmly opened the door and strode inside.

"Why, Jaz…is that a new look? It really suits you." she smirked, walking over and patting the bald woman's smooth, shiny head.

"**You**…**_you_** did this to me…" Jaz hissed, drawing back her arm and punching Mimiru in the gut.

"**Uck!**" she gasped, eyes watering at the sudden pain and mind automatically flying to the safety of her unborn baby.

"This is your only warning – I **_am_** married to your father." Jazlyn said coolly, wrapping the closest towel around her head, "He's absolutely **nuts** about me. And there is **_nothing_** you can do, short of whacking me, that would **possibly** make me leave."

With that, Jazlyn turned on her heel and stormed out of the bathroom, down the hall and into her bedroom.

Mimiru climbed shakily to her feet and staggered out of the bathroom, stumbling down the hall and running smack into Duo.

"**_Hey!_** Are you okay?" He demanded to know upon seeing the look on her face, "What happened?"

"She…she hit…" Mimiru mumbled, hands wrapped protectively over her front.

Duo's eyes narrowed into a venomous glare.

"She **hit** you?" he growled, gripping her shoulders tightly, "Does she **_know_** you're pregnant?"

"Yuh." Mimiru muttered, closing her eyes and slumping against Duo's chest, "Yuh…she knows…and she doesn't care…fucking sociopath."

"Alright, bitch." Duo snarled, glaring at Jazlyn's bedroom door as he wound his arms around Mimiru's back to draw her close, "**THIS** means war."

* * *

Jazlyn hurriedly dressed herself and stormed up the stairs to the room that contained all of Hatake's first wife's opera memorabilia. 

She looked over wig after wig until finally finding the perfect one for her- long and straight, glittering and white blonde.

Little did she know, she had been locked in from the outside and that water-clogged, PVC pipes were being worked through the ventilation.

"Alright." Quatre said crisply, officially done with trying to be kind to Jazlyn after finding out she had hit a pregnant woman, "No more mister nice guy."

"Here's a payback of biblical proportions." Trowa said frostily as the frogs began popping through the end of the pipe and into the locked room.

"_**RUUUUUHBUT.**_"

Jazlyn leapt ten feet at the sound and turned nervously around, letting loose a shriek at the sight of the creature,

She attempted to flee the room, only to find the door locked for some reason.

She rattled and shook the door knob to no avail, pressing herself against the door as the amphibians made their way towards her.

After about a quarter of the frogs had been loosed, Wufei unlocked the door and Jazlyn, all too ready to try again, fell out of the room, losing her wig, and slamming the door behind her.

Realizing how cool and breezy her head felt, Jazlyn let loose a shriek and snatched the wig up and stormed down the stairs where a bewildered Hatake was waiting.

"Dear, whatever is the matter?" he asked, looking thorough confused.

"**Ask _them!_**" Jazlyn screamed, point four of five quints who were watchin innocently from the kitchen drinking coffee,"**They've made me _bald_ and tried to _suffocate_ me in live_ FROGS!_**"

"Bald? Frogs?" Hatake asked as Jazlyn hauled him upstairs to show him the proof, "What on earth are you-?"

"**SEE?**" Jazlyn cried triumphantly, throwing open the doors of the room...only to find it full of nothing but Duo, Mimiru and Shiba the Snow leopard – the frogs having been hurriedly sucked into a portable vacuum by Heero and Michiru (vacuum courtesy of the Mad Doctors).

"Dad…who gave this woman permission to lock up my pet in a cage?" Mimiru asked in a biting tone, rubbing the beautiful creature behind the ears as it snarled ferociously at Jazlyn.

"…well, I don't see any frogs, honey." Hatake said awkwardly as he dragged his gaping wife out of his collection his former wife's things, "Now what's this about my children making you bald?"

Jazlyn's eyes lit up with fresh hope and she dragged Hatake to her bathroom.

"**_See?_** They replaced the shampoo in the bottle with hair **removal **cream!" She said victoriously, holding up the bottle in question.

"…No, honey." Hatake said, shaking his head, "That **_IS_** hair removal cream. You must have grabbed the wrong bottle by mistake."

Jazlyn's jaw dropped in utter disbelief, finding to her horror that the bottle had indeed been switched.

She turned her gaze to the doorway of her bathroom, where four identical faces stared in at her, eyeing the bottle in her hand first and the wig second.

"Hey **Jaz.**" Mikura, Michiru, Misaki and Mitsuki chorused laughingly, "**_Looooooooooooove_** the new look. It's **very** you."

* * *

(A/N: I'm open to any and all ideas you may have to torture Jazlyn (Succubus) Cole into submission! If you want to see her tormented a particular way, lemme know! R&R!)


	42. Civilian Life: Operation Succubus Pt2

(A/N: Hey there! Here's Part 2 of Operation Succubus! Enjoy!)

* * *

"How much of that stuff did you pour in her coffee?" Wufei asked his spouse earnestly as Quatre entered the living room, "Too much could be lethal you know."

"Too much of what could be lethal?" Quatre asked, taking a seat in an easy chair and hiding behind _Tommyknockers_ by Stephen King to conceal the lack of concern on his face.

"Laxative." Misaki comment offhandedly, as though she were speaking of the weather, "But then again, **anything** in excessive amounts has the potential to be lethal."

"We had to keep her busy so Michiru could switch out her Parisian perfume for animal mating pheromones." Heero said offhandedly, biting into an apple.

"What else do we have on the palette?" Trowa asked, entering the living room shirtless with a towel around his neck.

"Well, Duo was seeing red after the Succubus smacked Mimiru." Mitsuki said evenly, taking a break from dribbling her soccer ball on her foot to wrap her arms comfortably around Quatre's shoulders, "So, the Mad Doctors are on their way."

"Well if Mimiru wasn't on edge before..." Mikura sighed exasperatedly, giving Trowa a quick peck on the cheek before flopping on the sofa, "But even so, their brand of borderline psychosis is exactly what's needed right now."

"Speaking of Mimiru, how's she doing?" Quatre asked, lowering the book, face filled with uneasiness.

"Oh, she's just fine." Mitsuki giggled, giving her boyfriend a squeeze, "But Duo's being all over protective and forcing to stay in bed today. No training whatsoever."

"From what I recall, she really isn't the type who can sit still, is she?" Trowa remarked, wiping away the sweat from a sparring session with his fiancé (yup! He popped the question!).

"You know it." Misaki snickered, "She's so bent about not being able to help us delouse the mansion today, she's keeping a pair of scissors on her and holding his braid hostage."

"So childish, and yet he brings it on himself with that hair." Wufei said, shaking his head at how infantile his sister-in-law could be.

* * *

"_**DONE!**_ **Mission Complete!**" Michiru whooped victoriously, taking a giant leap off the top of the stairs…causing Heero's protective instincts to kick into full throttle as he made a diving catch before she landed at the base. 

"Nice catch!" she said with an adrenaline charged smile, patting the top of his head, "But I could've landed on my own you know!"

"…oh. That's…good to know." Heero replied awkwardly, wondering why on earth his face felt so hot (it's called embarrassment dear.)

"At any rate, the Mad Doctors should be here any minute!" Michiru said hyperly, the adrenaline rushing to her brain, "**_Woo hoo!_** I can't **wait!**"

"Why is she acting so strange?" Trowa asked under his breath.

"Well, this is the first time in her life she's ever done anything this bold." Mikura smiled, "I imagine it's quite exciting for her."

"Now I see." Heero said, releasing a sigh of relief he had been subconsciously holding, "So I shouldn't be worried by such erratic behavior then?"

"Oh, you should be worried." Misaki grinned from her comfy position against Wufei on the couch, "She's never **_BEEN_** hyper before."

"No telling what she might do." Mitsuki added cryptically with an evil smile that made Heero shiver.

"Relax." Quatre said soothingly, shooting a comforting smile Heero's way, "The girls are just trying to scare you."

"Yeah…just trying to scare you." They mimicked in unison after the Arab, making him twitch and Trowa smirk slightly.

"Save all that malicious energy for the Succubus…not poor Heero and Quatre, girls." He said, coming up behind Mikura to wrap his arms around her shoulders and rest his chin on the top of her head.

"You're no fun." She teased, pinching his arm lightly.

"But the man **has** a point." Mitsuki sighed, rolling over the top of the sofa to join Quatre, resting her head on his knees, "Sorry bout that babe."

"I forgive you." He said evenly, brushing some stray hairs out of her eyes.

Michiru, coming down off the adrenaline high, walked over to Heero and bowed respectfully.

"I'm sorry if I said or did anything to offend you, Heero." She said, her calm, amiable self once more.

"You're forgiven." He said in his ever-present monotone, patting the back of her head before she rose from the bow, causing a smile to appear on her lips.

* * *

"Are you still mad?" Duo sighed, hovering a knife above the skin of a watermelon, which was there to appease his girlfriend cravings, "I'm only looking out for you." 

"Just shut up and cut…before **_I_** do." Mimiru growled, gripping a rather large pair of scissors in her left hand, Duo's braid wrapped around the right, and currently in the midst of a particularly violent mood swing.

"That's a yes." Duo sighed, slicing the watermelon expertly in half, "Look, I want her gone as much as you do. All I'm asking is that you keep off your feet for one day."

"Meaning…" Mimiru said slowly, letting Duo's braid unwind from her hand as a smirk grew on her lips, "…that if I stayed in bed, I could still help you all out?"

"Sure. I never said you couldn't help, just that you needed to stay in bed." Duo said, looking confused, "Is **that** what had you so wound up?"

"Does that question warrant an answer?" Mimiru asked dryly, snatching up one of the watermelon halves and burying her face in it before Duo had the chance to section it off.

"…well, that answers my next question." Duo remarked as she paused to spit out a mouthful of seed and to look at him with watermelon mush clinging to her cheeks and chin.

"And that would be?" she asked, body tensed and wanting very much to return to the watermelon it craved so badly.

"Are you hungry." Duo remarked with a grin, taking a mouthful of from the other melon half, and giving her a very forceful kiss allowing her to take the watermelon from him with her tongue.

After he pulled away though, he saw Mimiru frowning at him.

"What I do this time?" he sighed, sitting back on the bed.

"That half is yours." She said evenly, "Don't waste it on me."

Duo blinked at her as she took a bite of her own melon, grabbing his hair and kissing him back just as harshly as he had (wow…these two like it rough) forcing a mouthful of fruit into his mouth.

"There." He said, wiping his mouth after he swallowed the watermelon, "A bite for a bite. Were even now. Happy?"

"Very." Mimiru smirked, "Especially since thanks to that wet, violent, tongue-sucking, tonsil-probing assault my mouth, I've come up with an idea of how to completely demoralize the Succubus. Hand me my cell, please."

"Who you calling?" Duo asked, watching the name as it appeared on the screen, "**_Sky?_** Your** EX?** Is there something going on I should know about?"

"Only that he's bi and currently living with his boyfriend." Mimiru replied smoothly, pacifying her boyfriend by way of shock, "Now **_hush!_** I've got some negotiations to get through to get him and his lover to do what I have in mind."

* * *

"Ugh…**gawd**, what did I eat?" Jazlyn muttered miserably after her plumbing problems stopped just long enough for her to grab a bottle of Pepto Bismol. 

She poured the recommended dosage into the measuring cup and downed it quickly, making a face a the chalky taste.

_"I don't care what those little rats do."_ she scowled, willing the taste away, and running a hand absently over her bald scalp, _"I'm not going anywhere until I've drained that fool dry."_

The sound of the door bell ringing reached her ears and she screamed out into the foyer for someone to answer it as she made her way to the kitchen to get some water.

"Oh _**good!**_ You're here!" Quatre's voice said genially from the entryway, "Come in, come in! It's been **so** long."

The sounds of five voices, belonging to older men, met Jazlyn's ears along with the sound of the front door opening and shutting.

Sipping on her water, she peered out into the living room to view five older men clad in lab coats, chatting away with the G-Boys and Sugino Girls, pausing only to glance at her for a moment, then continue their impassioned conversation.

Turning on her heel, she decided to go watch some television in her room while her bowels were cooperating with her.

_"Lord only knows how long I…"_ her train of thought derailed as the horrible cramping started up again,_ "BATHROOM!"_

* * *

"So she's the one you spoke of?" Doctor J asked, an evil grin on his face, "Looks like a fun one." 

"**_Ohhhhhhhh_** yeah." Misaki drawled, rolling her eyes, "She's just **loads** of fun."

"So, what have you done so far?" Professor G asked, rubbing his hands together expectantly, "Anything amusing?"

"Does replacing her shampoo with hair remover and filling a room she's in with frogs count as amusing in your book?" Trowa smirked, lacing his fingers with Mikura's.

"Or how about replacing her favorite perfume with animal mating hormone?" Mitsuki snickered, giving Michiru a wink.

"**_Wonderful!_**" Doctor S said with an appreciative nod, "The animal mating pheromone will come in beautifully for the idea I have in mind."

"That can be saved for later, S." Master O said, "Your plan would take at least half a day to round up the supplies required."

"Already I'm liking the sound of it." Michiru said, a cruel smile usually reserved for after she had taken over a smaller company spreading across her lips.

"But, really, we need a smaller scale idea that can be done at present." Instructor H said thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

* * *

"**Guys!**" Duo called out, interrupting the planning session as he thumped down the stairs, "Mimiru has something** awesome** set up for tomorrow!" 

"Dish! What's she got?" Mikura grinned, eyes sparkling enthusiastically.

"She's called up Sky and his current boyfriend, and their going to be coming over for quote-un-quote 'dance lessons'." Duo smirked, "Sky's gonna lead the Succubus on then, just when she's about to move in, she's going to walk in on them…if you catch my drift."

"Wow…a malevolent, calculating mind combined an even temperament…nice catch." Professor G smirked, nudging Duo with his elbow.

"But that isn't until tomorrow though, and we still have to order the supplies S was talking about." Quatre said getting them back on the topic at hand.

"**Right**, right." Doctor J nodded, "How about this? Is she the type that truly values her clothing?"

"_**Yes.**_" The entire assembled party replied dully, "Was there **ever** the slightest doubt in your mind?"

"Then how about mixing in some of those paintballs with her laundry?" Master O suggested.

"Yes, her entire wardrobe would come out a tie-dyed mess." Doctor S said with a grin.

"You guys are talkin' crazy and I like it." Misaki snickered, "It's a good thing dad's left for that meeting with the emperor or we'd never get away with this."

"How long is he going to be gone again?" Duo wondered aloud.

"A week." Heero said quietly, "Meaning we only have seven days to rid ourselves of this pest control problem."

"Ninmu ryoukai?" Michiru asked the boys, quirking an eyebrow.

"**_Ninmu ryoukai!_**" The party chorused together, happy that Hatake had ponied up for the sound proofing in the walls so Jazlyn didn't hear their war cry.

* * *

"Alright, now that **that's** all settled, we'll need to break off into groups." Wufei said thoughtfully, "One to handle the paintball-in-the-hamper project, and another to deal with S's idea." 

"I volunteer to help Doctor S." Michiru said with a smile, "What can I say? He has me intrigued."

"I'm also interested in as to what you have planned." Quatre said with a smirk, "Count me in as well."

"I think I'll assist with the hamper duty." Heero said after appearing to weigh the options in his mind.

"Same here." Mitsuki said, "Sorry Q, but I just can't wait to see the look on that twat's face."

"Wait what about...oh that's right, she has her own project going, never mind." Misaki said dismissively, remembering Mimiru's plan, "I suppose I be goin' wit' Doc S den."

"Horrid accent, Misaki." Wufei commented with a smirk, "Laundry for me please."

The rest broke off into their seperate groups and quickly started talking about the first thing that came to mind when Jazlyn re-entered the room.

"What are you up to?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at them.

"Going paint-balling." Duo replied innocently, "Picking teams, Jaz, that's all."

Scowling deeply at the nickname, she turned on her heel, but not before saying-

"I've got my _**eye**_ on you."

"Yeah, yeah...sure thing...Succubus." Michiru said with a smirk on her lips and a song in her heart at the thought of the things to come.

* * *

(A/N: Mimiru's off bedrest and springs her pan into action, as does Doctor S. What does it have to with the animal pheromones? R&R to find out!)


	43. Civilian Life: Operation Succubus Pt3

(A/N: Hey all! Well I've done it! For the second time, I've broken the two hundred review barrier! WOOT! And now, READ ON!)

* * *

"_**AURRRRRRRGGGH!"**_

Jazlyn's hands shook violently around the shirt she clutched as the butler who had brought her laundry fled the room, calling out apologies (and muttering profanities) as he left.

"I…can **not**…**_BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE _THIS!**" Jazlyn shrieked, tearing the shirt in half, her rage giving her a temporary power boost.

She grabbed one article of clothing after another, a Ralph Lauren tank top, a Versace dress, a Donna Karan skirt…not one of Jazlyn's designer labels had escaped unscathed.

It was a sea of colors, all mixing, warping and distorting together; it would have been perfectly fine…if that tie-dyed sea had been somewhere **_OTHER_** than Jazlyn's wardrobe (…well…in her opinion anyway)

A knock came at Jazlyn's bedroom door and Mitsuki let herself in, taking in Jazlyn's incensed expression with great delight.

"**Oi!** I've been making my rounds to warn everyone that I forgot to take some paintballs out of my jean pocket when Jenkins came around to collect laundry." she said casually, a small smile on her lips, "And I don't know which load they…"

Jazlyn whirled around furiously, a rainbow splotched pair of jeans that obviously didn't belong to her - obvious in that they were A) not a designer label B) had several holes in the knees and thighs and C) were a size eight while Jazlyn wears a four - in her hands, eyes flashing with just barely contained rage.

"Oop. Looks like I'm too late!" Mitsuki smirked, striding forward to pluck the sacrificed pants out of the gold-digger's hands, "So they wound up in your load, huh? Heh. Clummmsy me."

"**GET _OUT_ OF HERE!**" Jazlyn shrieked as Mitsuki skipped out, laughing her ass off, "**It's not _FUNNY_, BITCH! I had Jenkins wash my _ENTIRE _wardrobe! I have NOTHING to wear!**"

Jazlyn began tearing her room apart to appease her fury; ripping curtains down, curtain rods and all, hurling lamps against the walls, tearing bed clothes apart, smashing the plasma t.v. with a Gucci diamond inlaid pump.

* * *

"Well…how do you think she's taking it?" Mikura asked calmly, listening to Jazlyn's infuriated screams with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. 

"Oh I think she took it…rather well." Wufei commented, eyes sparkling maliciously as the ear-piercing shouts continued (Jazlyn's door is wide open which is why they get the joy of this little spectacle)

"**_Hark!_** I do believe I hear the sound of something valuable being destroyed." Duo snickered, gazing towards the stairs as the sound of something glass shattering met their ears, followed by a disgusted shriek.

"Ahhh…I do believe she's gone and doused herself in the animal pheromones Michiru accidentally positioned on the edge of that high shelf." Trowa remarked, a smile gracing his lips.

"I do believe you are correct in your assessment, T-man." Misaki grinned, sitting on the bottom step, gazing up three flights at her sibling, who was currently leaning over the railing, "Mitsuki just gave you a thumbs up."

"Wonderful." Heero smirked, entering the living room through a concealed side door (see ch. 2), "They've just finished the set up of Doctor S's plan."

"Beautiful." Quatre smirked, watching as Mitsuki slid down the banister, "Now all we need is for 'you-know-who' to make herself known."

"We don't have long to wait either." Mimiru smirked, pumping iron as she walked into the living room, "I just spotted her heading up the stairs."

"Brilliant." Doctor chuckled, opening and closing his mechanical prosthetic, "All is going according to plan."

"Fantastic." Doctor S snickered, entering through the same hidden passage as Heero, "This is going more smoothly than I ever could have dreamed."

"It really is a magnificent idea." Instructor H said with a nod, "Telll me, where did you conceive of it?"

"From an ancient film…." Master O replied with a smirk, "…he watched on the way here."

* * *

Jazlyn sat amid the mess that had once been her room, breathing hard, drenched in sweat and, unbeknownst to her, animal pheromones. 

"**_Ahhhhhh_**…" she breathed, squeezing her eyes shut and a grin flooding her face, "That felt **good.**"

Jazlyn allowed her mind to drift onto thoughts of her…stepdaughters…yeeugh, just thinking about it made her stomach turn (naw, that's the after effects of the laxative, hun!)

_"Those little harpies are trying just trying to get under my skin so I'll leave…well I'm still gonna stay so too fucking bad, you little brats."_ Jazlyn thought with a superior smirk (you're the same age as them, dumbass)

A low growl interrupted Jazlyn's internal dialogue and she sat to see a pair of ravenous gold eye glaring in at her from the doorframe.

With a large gulp, she rose slowly and carefully to her feet and edged out of her room through a secret passage located next to where her night stand used to be, the owner of the eyes hot on her heels (because apparently she didn't latch the door behind her)

She knew she was being stalked, that the thing was just behind her, she just knew it. The sound of feet loping lazily along and the pair of large golden eyes following her everywhere was a dead give away.

It was making her very nervous too, those eyes, staring up at her…filled with a such an obvious, wanton desire to rip her to itty-bitty bits.

"Shoo. **_Shoo!_** Go away." Jazlyn hissed at the creature, who staunchly ignored her commands and continued trailing along after her, a deep growl rumbling in her throat.

Shiba, Mimiru's pet snow leopard, had been stalking Jazlyn all morning, and it had gone completely unnoticed by the gold-digging Succubus…until now that is.

The snow leopard now followed her to the ground floor bathroom, to the indoor pool, to the second floor bathroom again, up the three flights of stairs to Misaki's bedroom (WTF are you doing in there!) and back down to the main floor to the kitchen.

Now Jazlyn was speeding up her pace, the snow leopard easily keeping up with her, as she attempted to get away from the beast Mimiru called a pet (and shibi-kins)

"Go on! Go **away!** _**Shoo!**_" Jazlyn said, her voice disclosing her desperation as she darted into the garden

It appeared she had finally lost the creature and she slumped against a tree in relief.

* * *

"**Of _all_ the things **- a **_snow_** leopard - why in all the seven **hells **would he allow her to**_ keep_** that vicious thing?" Lazlyn screeched, slamming both fists against the gorund, "I'm surprised it isn't an African** elephant** or a Tasmanian **_devil_** at the rate this is going!" 

Jazlyn didn't get to rant for very long, because she before she quite knew what was happening, something collided with the side of her face and sent some sort of strange liquid (more animal mating pheromone-just in case she wasn't marinated well enough) all over her.

"**_AAAAAAAAA_-A-_AA_-AAAAAAAAAAAAA!**" Duo crowed as he swung past the Succubus on a rather thick, ropey vine, "Hey **JAZ!** Can you say Jumanji?"

Jazlyn glared viciously after her…stepdaughter's…yee-uck - that word again…boyfriend rapidly disappearing back, disconcerted by the familiarity of that last word.

Where had she heard the term 'Jumanji' before? Something told her that it was vitally important that she remember – and fast.

She twisted her face up in concentration when a vague recollection of an ancient movie from the late twentieth century came to mind. It had something to do with a game… and animals…lots and_ **lots**_ of animals.

Jazlyn's eyes widened in horror when the ground began to tremble.

Drawn by the alluring scent of the pheromones that Jazlyn was un wittingly drenched in, a horde of rather large, exotic animals rounded the corner in an obvious stampede.

A single inane thought appeared in Jazlyn's mind at that moment-

"_Oh, well there's the elephant."_

She barely had the sense of mind to flatten herself against what she thought would be a tree…instead she fell back in a good sized pond, coming up sputtering as the horde thundered past her.

Besides small herd of four elephants, she saw twenty seven zebras, a small pack of xebec, thirteen rhinoceros, a mating pair of lions, that blasted snow leopard, and four rutting elk.

Jazlyn had to fight down the incredible urge to leap out of the water and kick the endangered big cat as it went by, but deciding against it for the sake of her health. After all, Jazlyn was rather fond of her face (as we didn't know that already)

After sitting in the pond for quite some time, contemplating whether or not it was safe to get out, she automatically had her mind made up for her when she saw that all to familiar fin silhouette.

"**_YIIIIIIEEEK!_**" She screamed, scrabbling out of the water, "**SHARK_SHARK_SHARK! _SHAAAAARK _IN THE POND!**"

The owner of the fin, a Bottlenosed Dolphin, surface and gave a high pitched chittering laugh after her retreating form, before performing a flying backflip and splashing back into the water.

* * *

"**_YOU!_**" Jazlyn shrieked, jabbing at finger at Dawson the moment she set foot in the house, "**PHONE!** **_NOW!_**" 

He and another butler shared a look, rolling their eyes as Dawson went and complied with the order, handing Jazlyn a cell phone from the end table that was only two inches away her.

She snatched it from him and punched in the number for Hatake's cell, getting an answer on the second ring.

"Sugino Hatake speaking." An even voice said warmly on the other end of the line, "How may I hel-"

"**WHAT IN THE _HELL_ IS A GODDAMN _ZOO_ DOING IN _YOUR _BACKYARD?**" Jazlyn shrieked, cutting off her cash supply before he could finish his sentence.

"Y-you mean Mimiru's pets?" Hatake asked, sounding mildly surprised, "Honey, if you ran into them, you must have walked into her menagerie, not the backyard."

"**YOU _LET _HER _KEEP_ A _MENAGERIE?_**" Jazlyn screeched, "**AREN'T YOU AFRAID SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET _MAULED?_**"

"Not particularly." Hatake replied calmly, "All of Mimiru's pet are rescued circus animals – perfectly tame."

"_Tame my ASS!"_ Jazlyn thought viciously, gritting her teeth, before replying, "O-okay. It was just seeing so many animals at once was sooo…overwhelming." She said, hoping she sound sincere.

"That's my daughters for you." he replied proudly, "They're such humanitarians."

"_Humanitarians?"_ Jazlyn had to fight down a laugh be fore she spoke again, "Well…I'm sorry if I interrupted anything. I'll see you soon. Bye love."

She hung up the phone and sat down in a nearby chair.

"_She's allowed to be keeping those animals?"_ Jazlyn thought to herself in disbelief, _"And he's PROUD of her? Oh lord…well, it doesn't matter! A few fleabags aren't gonna tear me away from my honey pot."

* * *

_

"And so, you'll be staying in the second floor guest rooms."

Jazlyn's head snapped up – **WHO** exactly would be staying in the extra bedrooms?

She abandoned her chair, leaving the kitchen, and strode into the living room…where she drank in the sight of two of the most gorgeous guys she had ever had the pleasure of laying her eyes on.

"Hey…who, may I ask, are these two?" Jazlyn asked, amping up the charm as much as possible.

"These are two on my newest students." Mimiru replied shrewdly, giving the Succubus a very dirty look, "And they don't need **_you_** here to distract them. Now **beat** it."

"Now, now." Sky said with an alluring smirk guaranteed to turn straight men to the other side of the force, "No need to be so harsh. The name is Sky Manyu. A pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine." Jazlyn purred, turning her eyes on the other man present, "And what about you?"

"I'm João Taveres (see ch.3)" He said with a seductive smile that was as sexual orientation altering as his predecessors, "And I must say, training with the infamous Captain Blood (see ch.17) will be far more bearable with you around."

"You can**_ flirt_** on your **own** time." Mimiru said curtly, rising to her feet, "Your training begins in less than five minutes. Get changed."

"Do you mind if I sit in?" Jazlyn asked, not about to lose a chance to watch two sweaty guys work what their mama gave'm.

"Whatever." Mimiru said dully, beckoning to the boys, "I'll take you to your rooms so you can change."

Nodding, both men rose and followed after her.

"She's completely blind." João snickered quietly, "God, I thought for sure she'd notice the manicure and fresh eyebrow wax tan lines I have."

"That dim bulb?" Mimiru snorted, "Naw, you have nuthin' to worry about in that department, bud. The only things she notices are ones that have to do directly with her."

"That bad, huh?" Sky smirked, "Well don't worry. We'll help you get her out of your hair. Because really, what could be more demoralizing than knowing you turned a man gay?"

* * *

(A/N: Mimiru's plan kicks into action and the Doctors may have a few more tricks up their sleeves. R&R!)


	44. Civilian Life: Operation Succubus Pt4

(A/N: HEY ALL! I'm still alive! Sorry this took so long, but my work schedule's an ass kicker. At any rate, here's the next chapter!)

* * *

"Come on people! On the beat! **ON** the beat!" Mimiru said sharply, blaring hip-hop music reverberating around the room. 

She strode authoritvely in front of Sky and João, a very critical, scrutinizing expression on her face as she backhanded João lightly in the abs.

"Suck in that stomach." Mimiru barked as she swatted Sky lightly across the ass, "And tuck in the tushes. Honestly, you look like a pair of**_ bow legged cows!_**"

"I don't know **where **you're looking." Jazlyn said standoffishly from her seat in the corner, "They**_ both_** look **fantastic** from where I'm standing…in more ways than one."

Sky, playing along with his role in all this, tossed Jazlyn a wink while João blew her a kiss.

A vein in Mimiru's temple came close to popping at Jazlyn's last cutting remark, but Duo's voice came to her – _'Remember the baby'_ – it said, so she took a deep breath and calmed herself internally while keeping the mask of rage plastered on her face for effect.

"Tell me, **_Jaz_**-" she said, making sure her voice had _'a-just-barely-contained-rage'_ edge to it, "**Who** here has twenty something years of dance training **_and_** is a certified choreographer?"

The haughty expression on the Succubus's face was flooded with vexation, but she bit her lip and gave no reply.

"What's** that?**" Mimiru asked, making sure she sounded as scathing as possible, "**_Really?_** **Just _me?_** Well how**bout **that. So if you don't **_mind_**, Mrs. **Un**certified Choreographer, you can _**flirt **_on your **own** time – time that **_doesn't _**include the period in which** I'm** training my students."

"It isn't my fault I'm so…distracting." Jazlyn commented, purring out the last word for effect, throwing a suggestive look over Mimiru's shoulder at Sky, who caught it, and playing his part, tossed back an equally seductive stare.

"**_Just_**….**get**…**_out._**" Mimiru spat, making sure she twisted her face into an expression of utter fury, pushing Jazlyn out the door and slamming it in her face, ensuring the deadbolt was securely fastened.

"Wow…you were right." João remarked as Mimiru abandoned the enraged facade to regain her calm demeanor, dropping the act she had been keeping up before Jazlyn had even entered her studio, "She's horrid."

"And you have to **live **with that Maneater?" Sky asked sympathetically as Mimiru pulled herself into an impossible stretch, her foot over her head as she balanced like a flamingo.

"I just might if our plan doesn't work." Mimiru muttered, lowering her leg down slowly, "But I'm over eighty percent sure it will drive her off - I'm confident of that."

"So…when should we drop the bomb?" João asked as Mimiru went up en Pointe, beginning to échappé (1) from the fifth position.

"Not just yet." Mimiru said meditatively, going into a fouette (2) "I want her suffering to be extreme for sinking her perverted, gold-digging claws into my father."

"Got something else planned I take it?" João smirked as she slowed into a Pirouette en Pointe.

"Ohhhh, not me." She snickered, "The Mad Doctors came up with it. You see, while you two were….**_practicing_**…Misaki was raiding Jazlyn's drawers."

* * *

"**Hey**…what are you up to?" Jazlyn asked coolly after being ejected from Mimniru's in mansion dance studio, eyeing a far too happy Misaki with suspicion. 

"Oh nothing, Jaz." The newlywed replied, grinning broadly up at the gold-digger, "Just thinking on the **_great_** sex I'm gonna have tonight."

Jazlyn cringed from the not only the nickname, but also at the supply of personal information that she really didn't want any part of.

"Okay, thing one – **waaaaaaaaaay** too much info. Thing two – it's Jaz**_lyn_**, twerpette." The gold-digger ground out irritably, more than slightly pissed she was barred from viewing the two sweating hotties in spandex.

"But **JAZ!**" Misaki cried in mock-indignation, "As my new mother, you are **_privy_** to **every**, **_single_** bit of **personal **information! I just want to **_connect _**with you **MOM!** _**Don't**_ you wanna **hear** about when I got my first **_period?_**"

Jazlyn face twisted in disgust as she exited the room, Misaki hot on her heels.

"How about the first time I got **food** poisoning and spent the **_entire_** night puking my **guts** out?" she pressed on, "**_Woo_**, you had to have** BEEN** there to_** fully**_ appreciate it. It was the **only** time in my**_ life_** I upchucked **purple _puke!_**"

"**THAT'S _ENOUGH!_**" Jazlyn shrieked, currently an interesting shade of greenish-gray, "**I _DON'T _WANNA _KNOW!_**"

"Or how about our first trip to the **hospital?**" Misaki continued, choosing to tune out her stepmother's voice, "After all, if you _**ARE**_ gonna be our new **MOMMY**, you _**need**_ to **know** about such things. Anyway, Mimiru had taken a **_really _**bad fall dancing and **split** the **_back_** of her **neck** _**wiiiiide**_ o-"

"**ARRRRRRRRRGH!**" Jazlyn screamed, retreating to the safe haven of the basement, "**_YOU_ ARE JUST _TOO_ DISGUSTING TO BE _ALLOWED!_**"

"But **wait**, **MOM!**" Misaki called after her, lounging comfortably on the couch, a lazy smirk on her lips, "I _**haven't**_ told you about my traumatic **Bed-wetting** phase!"

Wufei, listened with a small smile on his lips as the door to the basement slammed and locked, appearing from the kitchen with two Ramune (3) in his hands.

"Food poisoning, eh?" he smirked, taking a seat beside her, "Funny…I seem to recall I was the one who got food poisoning…remember?"

"And as I stated, it was the coolest color I've ever seen in vomit." Misaki grinned as she accepted the bottle, "Whaddya drink beforehand? Grape soda?"

"Actually, it was beet juice, but…close enough for all practical purposes." Wufei smirked as Misaki burst out laughing.

* * *

"Whoa…Misaki did a great job." Mikura said with a self-satisfied grin on her face, inspecting the photographs in her hands, "Wouldn't you say Mr. Hefner?" 

"_Yes, fantastic._" The perverted old man agreed over the view screen, "_She's a shoo in for Slut Of The Month._"

"_It's more like Slut Of The Millenia – but eh, close enough."_ Mikura thought with a snicker, before returning her focus to the matter at hand.

"So, when will you be able to come by?" Mikura asked, trying not to sound to allow the elation slip into her voice, "After all, she said she's always wanted to live in the Playboy mansion as one of the playmates."

"_How does…Thursday sound?_" the owner and proprietor of Playboy asked, stroking his chin thoughtfully, "_I can come by in person to conduct the inteview._"

"Excellent." Mikura smirked, calculating that that would leave a void of three more days when her father would be away, "See you then."

"_I can't wait to meet her in person…if her photographs are any indication she's almost over qualified._" Hugh Hefner chuckled as the screen flashed to black as he hung up.

"Perfect." Mikura sighed contentedly, leaning casually back in her chair to pick up the receiver with her toes and languidly replace it in the cradle, "Well, now that _**that's**_ out of the way. Time to give more focus to the here and now."

Switching out of the chair, she began wandering about the mansion, in search of the Mad Doctors.

"**OI!** **_Where _are_ you, ya old _coots?**" She called loudly as she meandered from the living room to the kitchen, arms folded behind her head.

"Tell me Mikura…when did I reach old coot status again?" Trowa remarked offhandedly from his seat at the table.

"Stuff it." Mikura said goodnatuuredly, swatting him lightly across the back of the head, "Actually, on second thought? Don't. You'd enjoy that."

"In reality I think you're the one who would be getting the better end of the deal." Trowa smirked suggestively, "But its all a matter of opinion, now isn't it."

"Yea and verily." Mikura snickered, "But seriously, have you seen the Crazy Quacks around here recently?"

"I thought I saw them meandering towards the basement." Trowa replied evenly, rising from his chair, "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." Mikura replied, quickening her pace as she strode towards the basement door, "Because with our current run of luck, they're messing around with the house's wiring."

* * *

"Oh **_Skyyy?_** **João?** Where **_are _**you?" Jazlyn called out as she searched room to room for the AWOL bishies, "Come out, come out whereever you are!" 

She opened another door and walked in on Heero and Michiru in the middle of a very passionate make-out session.

"Do you** mind?**" Michiru scowled from her current position pinioned on the floor, "_**Honestly**_, have you **never** heard of knocking?"

"Have you seen Sky or João?" Jazlyn demanded, ignoring the comment, currently blinded by her own wanton desires.

"What do you think?" Heero replied dryly, hands still wrapped around Michiru's wrists, joining Michiru in hurling a discontented glare the Succubus's way.

"_**Gawd**_, all you had to **say** was no." Jazlyn snorted, turning on her heel to leave, "You two are **_absolutely_** useless for **anything** useful."

Watching as she went on her merry way (without shutting the door I might add) the two heaved a sigh of relief.

"Man that was close." Michiru breathed as Heero released his grip to allow her to retrieve the Succubus Removal Strategy #A-417 from under her back.

"What did you call this again?" Heero asked, as he walked back towards the desk where they had just been working out the kinks in their latest plan.

"A fake-out make-out." Michiru said calmly, a smirk dancing on her lips, "I saw it once on an old cartoon Misaki had lying around."

"I see…so you absolutely had no inkling whether it would decieve her or not?" Heero asked with the barest hints of a smile on his lips.

Michiru grinned at him in a way that was eerily reminiscent of a certain pilot who used to refer to himself as Shinigami.

"Let's get back to work." Heero said, an odd expression on his face as he took a seat on the edge of the desk as they resumed planning.

* * *

Jazlyn finally tracked down João and Sky in the sprawling front lawn, stretching their legs and talking to Quatre and Mitsuki – Quatre having been coerced into helping Mitsuki practice. 

She caught snippets of, _'Captain Blood'_, _'you?'_, _'expected'_, as well as peals of loud, mirthful laughter.

Eyeing the sinewy muscles in the gluts of both men or, in lame-men's terms for the crasser members of our audience like myself, ogling their asses, Jazlyn strode down the steps with an added bit of sway in her hips.

"Hey there you two." She purred, trailing a finger up Sky and João's backs slowly making them both shiver, "Did you miss me?"

"But of course." Sky replied, doing his best to ignore the venomous glare Mitsuki was shooting at him, his boyfriend and her…stepmother.

"How could we **_not_**, gorgeous?" João replied with a suggestive smirk, blocking out Quatre's aquamarine eyes trying to bore holes into his spine, "Why'd you disappear so fast?"

"Mimiru just being maddlesome." Jazlyn said breathily, Sky trying his best not to gag as she cupped his face in her hand, "She's just pissed because she's already tied down. Well it's her fault for getting pregnant in the first place, doncha think?"

Quatre saw Mitsuki move forward, knew what she was going to do, yet made no move to stop her…besides, some one beat her to the punch anyway.

**_-_SUH_-MAK-_**

Jazlyn's pale blue eyes were wide in a mixture of pain and shock, fingers grazing the hot, tender area of her face that was a tribute to the offender's palm.

"**That**…**_is_**…enough." Duo said coolly, eyes narrowed fiercely at the Succubus, "I've had **enough** of you bad mouthing my girlfriend…and **_enough_** of you hanging all over another man while you're **married** to my girlfriend's father."

Mitsuki was doing a silent, happy cheer inside her head, letting her eyes linger on the pile of discarded pharmaceuticals and groceries Duo had abandoned in favor of bitch-slapping Jazlyn.

"I don't see **why** what I do is **_any_** of your business." Jazlyn snapped irritably, rubbing her cheek bitterly.

"When it involves Mimiru, it **becomes** my business." Duo growled softly, eyes hardening even more, "**_Back off._**"

* * *

With that lingering threat hanging in the air, he stormed off towards the house, making his way to the gym to work out his frustrations on a poor, unassuming punching bag. 

Muttering under her breath, Jazlyn abandoned trying to seduce Sky and João for the time being, going inside to ice her face.

"**Wow**…that was some incredible timing, eh?" Mitsuki remarked offhandedly, moving to pick up some of the groceries.

"What was he doing anyway?" Sky asked, picking up the pharmaceutical bag and handing it up to Quatre.

"Helping Dawson with some light shopping…and picking up Mimiru's pre-natal vitamins." Quatre replied, retrieving a jug of milk.

"What a lucky coincidence." João remarked, grabbing a bag of celery and a can of cranberry sauce.

"I think we should break the news to Jaz soon." Sky said with a shudder, "I don't think I can **_stand _**her getting that close to me ever again."

"Yeah, well I don't think I can stand her getting that close to you ever again **either**." João remarked with a smirk, "So the feeling's mutual."

A loud shriek split the air, originating from the mansion…well if you wanna get technical, it originated from Jazlyn Cole's vocal chords…breaking the mood and causing four heads to turn towards the manor.

"Huh…looks as though she **_finally_** found it." Mitsuki said with a wicked smile, picking up a watermelon that, by the gracious whim of fate, had decided not to splatter upon impacting with the earth.

"Found what?" Sky and João asked together, filling the paper bag with the last of the scattered food.

"The epoxy on her toilet seat." Quatre replied with a the barest of smirks, hefting up the grocery bag and walking towards the mansion.

* * *

(1) échappé - Escaping or slipping movement.An échappé is a level opening of both feet from a closed to an open position. There are two kinds of échappés: échappé sauté, which is done with a spring from the fifth position and finishes in a demi-plié in the open position, and échappé sur les pointes, or demi-pointes, which is done with a relevé and has straight knees when in the open position.In each case échappés are done to the second or fourth position, both feet traveling an equal distance from the original center of gravity.

(2) fouette - French: "To whip"; pronounced 'fweh-TAY'. A movement on one leg that requires the dancer to change the hip and torso direction, usually with a whiplike sharpness, while maintaining the leg direction and position. Can also be done in the air.

(3) Ramune - A delicious softdrink from Japan, famous for the marble contained within the bottle.

* * *

(A/N: Sky and João give Jazlyn the smack down, and the G-Boy's discover a loophole that may rid the Sugino household of the Succubus for good! R&R!)


	45. Civilian Life: Operation Succubus: End

(A/N: Hey there! I know you've all been waiting for this: The Conclusion of Operation Succubus! READ ON!)

* * *

Sky and João sought out Mimiru, who was currently lounging in the hot tub with the jet going full blast to work the kinks out of her sore muscles.

"Mimi…" Sky said wearily, using a toe to peel off his socks before sitting down on the lip of the hot tub to soak his feet, "I want to drop the bomb tonight."

"Same goes for me." João agreed, sitting down next to Sky, resting his head on the man's shoulder, "I don't think I can **_stand_** her touching him anymore."

"Very well." Mimiru nodded, opening her eyes to look up at them, "But if you're gonna do it now, you've gotta make it **very** convincing."

"Oh, not to worry." Sky purred, lipping the shell of João's ear, "We'll make it an Oscar worthy performance."

"Remember, Sky." Mimiru said, raising herself out of the frothing water, "You're confused about the way you feel. **_João's_** the seme, got it?"

"Understood." João grinned, wrapping his arms around Sky's shoulders, "So, what's our cue?"

"I'm going to see how Jazlyn's doing getting that toilet seat off her ass first." Mimiru snickered, toweling off, "After that, I'll lure her here. When you hear her approaching-"

"**I** get ya." Sky smirked, "A little hot, steamy confession slash makeout session in the hot tub."

"Brilliant." João grinned, "In the meantime, we'll just relax in the jet's and try to will away the shrieking agony you inflicted."

"Wimp." Mimiru smirked as the lovers lost their shirts and sank into the water, "You can take it up the **_ass_**, but you **can't **take my **_training?_** Pitiful."

"Shove it." Sky snorted, reaching over and heaving another towel at the choreographer as she made her way to the exit.

"Already did that actually." Mimiru called over her shoulder, "Or did you miss the memo that says I've been pregnant for the last two months?"

"Oh shut up." João said playfully, resting his head on his wrist with a contented sigh as the pain in his legs began to dissipate.

* * *

"This is _**sooooo**_ humiliating!" Jazlyn hissed, eyes flashing angrily as she applied solvent to the areas around her rear the epoxy was affixed. 

The explanation for how it had gotten there?

"Why it musta **dripped **from th' new **_ceilin' tiles_** yuh insisted I put up!" Dawson had replied evenly, "**Doncha** **_remember?_** **You're** th' one who ohduhd dat I put'em in!"

While it was true she had asked for new tiling, she hadn't asked for the man servant to look or sound so overjoyed at her plight.

She finally felt the seat on her ass slide away, causing a thick, oozing trail of epoxy/solvent runoff to trickle down the backs of her thighs.

"**_Eeeeeewwww!_**" she gagged, more than ready to shower the mess off as she kicked the plastic nuisance aside, climbing into the shower and turning the water on full blast.

She had barely finished cleaning off the disgusting mess when her shower door was hurled open.

"**AAAAAAUGH!**" She shrieked wrapping her arms around herself tightly…until she saw who it was and immediately dropped them, "Oh. Whaddyou want?"

"Oh, I don't want you." Mimiru replied cryptically, dropping a towel over her head, "But Sky and João do."

"Really?" Jazlyn said, removing the towel from her head to reveal that her eyes were glittering in anticipation, "Is that so?"

"They're in the spa." Mimiru commented, moving to leave the bathroom, "They told me specifically to get you."

"Well then…I'd best not disappoint." Jazlyn purred as Mimiru left her alone in the bathroom to dress, which she did fairly quickly as it was only her undergarments beneath a towel.

She scurried out of the bathroom, rusing for the sauna as fast as her legs could carry her, stopping just outside it to compose herself.

She was about to enter, when she heard snippets of hushed conversation, and paused to listen in.

* * *

"I…I just don't **_know _**about this João." Came Sky's voice, drenched with uncertainty and something that Jazlyn was all too familiar with – desire. 

"What's to know?" João asked demandingly, voice dripping with what was unmistakably lust.

Unable to stand it, Jazlyn peeked into the sauna, pale blue eyes widening in disbelief at the scene before her: João, giving Sky one of the most passionate French kisses she had ever seen.

João pulled away, bumping Sky's nose with is own.

"I can't **STAND** it when that Blonde bimbo touches you." he growled softly, "It makes my **_skin_** crawl."

"But…but I'm **not **gay." Sky protested weakly as João kissed his neck, "S-sure Jazlyn isn't the most wonderful p-person in the world **_but-!_**"

"But **nothing.**" João growled sharply, "You know, until that woman came along, I was as straight as a board. Now…everything's changed."

Jazlyn felt as thought she'd been stabbed: she'd turned not one…but TWO men to the interior decorating side of the force? Oh…dear…lord. She shrank away from the spa, her inside twisting in disgust.

Sky and João listened to the sound of footsteps pittering away, breaking apart to grin maliciously at one another.

"Well…I **_do_** declare, perchance she got the vapors." Sky snickered in a bad southern drawl, wrapping an arm around João's shoulders, "Bad okra maybe?"

"'s a possibility, but I **do** believe she got a **_heapin'_** helping of truth and it made huh a **might** queasy." João grinned in an equally bad accent.

"Might be…might be." Sky smirked, smile fading slightly, "But I get the feeling that even though we made a serious dent in her ego, this still wont be enough."

"**_Really?_**" João asked, eyes widening a bit as he allowed himself to sink back into the heated comfort of the water, escaping the cold bite of the air above it.

"Yeah." Sky replied tiredly, following suit and slumping against his lover with a sigh, thinking upon the house that was being built for them in the countryside as he did so (the payment for agreeing to do this in the first place)

"But she's the type who can't **STAND** not getting what she wants,**_ love!_**" João protested, sending water spraying everywhere as he brought his fists down on the frothing surface, "This should **crush** her!"

"Be that as it may, I'm sure her resiliency will kick in and make her **_ten_** times more determined to stay." Sky sighed bitterly, "Nah. She's come back more stubborn than ever."

"**_Fannnnnnnntastic._**" João mumbled bitterly, sinking further beneath the water to blow angry bubbles.

* * *

"**Again!**" Michiru called, shifting her weight slightly as Heero dipped his hand into the fruit basket and came out with a Granny Smith, lobbing viciously at her. 

She swung herself around, kicking the apple square at it's center and making it splatter absolutely everywhere – the trees, the marble replica of the Venus de Milo, the bird bath…onto the front of Jazlyn's towel.

"**_EEEEEWWW!_**" Jazlyn shrieked running her fingers through her hair in disgust and coming away with sticky apple chunklets, "I **JUST** took a **_SHOWER! _Look **what you've **_done!_**"

"Sorry Jaz." Michiru remarked unapologetically, "I need to keep myself sharp. If my aikido skills get rusty, they might kick me out of the clan."

"What are you on?" Jazlyn snorted, quirking an eyebrow at Michiru.

As the Succubus spoke, an idea struck Heero and Michiru at the exact same moment, causing malevolent smiles to creep their way on to their faces.

How could they have been so blind to such an obvious loophole?

"It's an ancient clan law Ms. Cole." Heero replied with a smirk, moving forward to rest his chin comfortable on Michiru's shoulder, "All of the Sugino family are bound by blood to follow it, lest they be banished."

"That's right." Michiru smiled, reaching back over her head to wrap her arms lightly around Heero's neck, "This law states that all Sugino clan member's **must **practice and eventually **_master_** at **least** one martial art."

Jazlyn's eyes widened and her mouth formed an 'o' of surprise.

"You have **_gotta_** be shittin' me." She muttered, turning on her heel, and walking quickly towards the house, "There is just no way. It's just too stupid."

Michiru and Heero glanced at one another and nodded, following after Jazlyn, who had tracked down Mitsuki in the indoor gym, jogging on a treadmill and was currently interrogating her.

* * *

"Hey **brat!**" she snapped, yanking the rip cord out to bring the treadmill to a screeching halt, causing Mitsuki to nearly brain herself, "Is it true that there's some clan law saying you have to know and master a martial art?" 

"Yeah. What about it?" Mitsuki asked, yanking the plug from Jazlyn's hand with a scowl and re-inserting it in the treadmill, starting the machine up again, "**_Dad_** should have told you about **that** ages ago."

"Oh yeah right." Jazlyn said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "Then what's **_YOUR_ **martial art, smart ass?"

"Muay Thai." Mitsuki replied evenly, not missing a beat, "I practice with Mimiru sometimes. She doesn't practice Muay Thai, but she wears the pads so we can spar."

"And what does **SHE** study?" Jazlyn asked mockingly, while inwardly growing more and more nervous as it appeared that this "Sugino Clan Law" wasn't abother one of their fabrications.

"Capoeria." Mikura said coolly as she entered the gym, Trowa right behind her with a pair of boxing gloves draped over his shoulder, "It's perfect for her and she's very near mastery."

"Mikura herself is already a certified kendo master." Trowa said with a touch of pride, sliding on the gloves as he made his way to the punching bag.

"And Misaki-" Jazlyn demanded, not expecting a response to come from directly behind her.

"-practices Shaolin Kung Fu with me." Wufei said, giving the woman a slight push out of his way so he and his wife could get to the mats to spar.

"What about **_you_**, **Jaz?**" Misaki asked, quirking an eyebrow at her as she wrapped more bracing tape around her knuckles.

"Yes, you've been doing most of the questioning." Quarter remarked as he emerged from the pool's changing rooms.

"What martial art do you study?" Duo asked, having caught the entire conversation while on his way to get a soda and not about to miss this opportunity.

"Tae Kwon Do? Karate? Hun Gar?" Mimiru asked, appearing behind Duo to help complete the circle of people surrounding the Gold Digger.

"Well?" Michiru asked, tapping her foot.

"We're waiting." Heero said coolly.

* * *

Jazlyn knew her goose was as good as cooked. She didn't know any martial arts. She hadn't wanted or **_NEEDED_** to practice them as she had been pampered, spoiled and catered to all her life. 

She was trapped and she knew it.

"Well, this does pose a problem then." Mitsuki tsked, folding her arms over her chest, "I'll get the main house on the phone and see what they wanna do."

"Good plan." Misaki nodded as she left the circle to go and stretch with Wufei, "After all, their word is law."

"Don't bother, Mitsuki. I'll do it." Mikura said offhandedly, turning on her heels to make the call, a dazed Jazlyn following after her.

She had barely taken three steps out of the gym when the door bell rang.

_"Waaaaaiit…it's Thursday isn't it?"_ Mikura thought with a smirk, walking away from the phone to answer the door.

"Why, hello Hefner-san!" she said with a smile, "If you'll just give Cole-san a moment, she'll be all set to go, alright?"

"Very good." The Playboy Proprietor said with a smile leaning against the doorframe to wait.

Mikura returned to Jazlyn's side and whispered into her ear -

"_Hey…how would you like to live with one of the wealthiest men on the planet, be treated like royalty, and have an old man to leech off of until the day he croaks?_"

Jazlyn instantly brightened and came alive again, looking at Mikura suspiciously.

"Hugh Hefner is at the door waiting for you." Mikura said with a smirk.

No more words were needed; he was a willing victim for Succubi like Jazlyn – it was common knowledge.

The gold digger was at the door wrapping herself around Hugh like a boa constrictor, purring, "Daddy" into his ear in the space it takes to blink.

And Jazlyn was gone, never to darken the doorways of the Sugino household again. This left just one burning question - how to tell Sugino Hatake his new wife left him for am ultra perv.

* * *

(A/N: Jazlyn's gone. Hatake finally accepts the truth. Duo and Mimiru disappear. Trowa and Mikura start to prep for their wedding day, and much much more. R&R!)


	46. Civilian Life: Solid Gold, Black & White

(HEY ALL! Sorry this took so long, but I've only had a single day off this week to work on this. So, I hope it meets your standards! READ ON!)

* * *

Hatake Sugino had quickly come to terms with the pedophilic creepiness of what he had been doing, deciding that Jazlyn running off was for the best and that it had been loneliness, not love that had caused him to keep her around. 

But he had placed all things to do with Jazlyn Cole on the back-burner. He didn't have time to waste mooning over the Succubus any longer: he had bigger fish to fry.

Apparently, Emperor Hirohito wanted to do more than discuss Japans national budget, because when Hatake returned home, the Imperial Seal of Japan came with him.

Hirohito explained, in the calmest way possible, that he was turning over the throne to him; saying it was a right stolen away from the Sugino clan by an act of treason centuries ago (see ch.22) and this was long overdue.

Now Sugino Hatake was now, A) royalty again, B) currently in control of a country and C) had no earthly idea what to do.

When she heard the news, Mitsuki had given her father a hearty smack on the back, while grinningly saying, "Way ta be, Dadchaman!"

Michiru had simply smiled serenely at her father, saying that if he stopped to think about it, technically he had already been ruling Japan since he had been acting as the former emperor's primary advisor.

Misaki said something along the same lines as Michiru and told him not to let it bother him so much, and that the title of Emperor was just a word.

Mikura had nothing to say on the matter as she was currently involved in a dispute with Trowa.

This argument had developed over a rather simple matter - what color will the bridesmaids be wearing.

* * *

"**_Red!_**" Mikura said right off the bat, eyes dancing, "A beautiful, rich crimson hue. It will be **perfect **offset to my black wedding dress." 

"Excuse me, do you mind repeating that?" Trowa asked politely, "What color did you say your dress was going to be?"

"I said that red would be the perfect color to set off my black wedding gown." Mikura scowled deeply, responding in kind.

"How should I put this…umm, no." Trowa said flatly, "You are **_not_** wearing black down the aisle."

"I don't how many times we have to go through this- I am **not**-wearing-**_white!_**" Mikura said exasperatedly, annoyance worming it's way into her voice at the spat she was currently having with her fiancée.

"I **refuse** to let you wear such a _**grim **_color on what is **supposed** to be the _**happiest**_ day of our lives." Trowa shot back, irritation leaking into his voice as the argument began to eat away at his composed mind frame.

"There is **NOTHING **wrong with black." Mikura growled, losing patience, "It's_** mysterious**_, it's **sultry**, it's-!"

"-morbid, _**dismal**_ and gloomy." Trowa snapped back, tolerance ebbing away in favor of anger, "**All **things we **don't** need present on our wedding day."

"**_WHY_ ARE YOU _INSISTING _I WEAR SUCH A _TIRED_, _ANTIQUATED_ COLOR?**" Mikura shrieked as the last shreds of her meditative mindset went flying out the window as she broke a poor, unsuspecting end table to splinters with her fist.

"**BECAUSE I _REFUSE_ TO HAVE _YOU_ LOOKING LIKE AN OVERGROWN _BAT_ ON OUR _WEDDING _DAY _THAT'S_ WHY!**" Trowa yelled back, his patience also gone as he shouted at Mikura in volumes that she didn't know he could reach.

"Why don't you just have a costume wedding?" Quatre suggested timidly from the doorjamb as both Trowa and Mikura round on him snarling, "Th-that way…Mikura could wear black and it wouldn't…be…an…issue."

He was now pressed flat against the wall opposite the doorframe, drenched in cold sweat as both husband-and-wife-to-be closed in on him like a pair of ravenous hyenas.

"You know…" Mikura said slowly, eyeing Quatre with an almost predatory gaze, "That isn't such a bad idea."

Quatre's knees gave out and he collapsed to the floor, letting the breath he was subconsciously holding whoosh from his lungs as he did so.

"Yes…I suppose it could work." Trowa said in a bemused tone as he turned the idea over in his mind, "There is no law that says we have to have a conventional wedding after all."

"So we'll do it then?" Mikura asked, eyes brightening slightly as she turned them back on her fiancée, "I can wear black then?"

"…if we're going through with a costume wedding I don't see why not." Trowa sighed, causing Mikura to let loose a victorious whoop and hugged him tightly, nearly crushing poor Quatre in the process.

"Wups, almost forgot about you for a sec. Sorry." Mikura grinned, not removing her arms from around Quatre and Trowa, but remaining in a rather relaxed, standing embrace, "What are doing here any way?"

"Yes, do you require something?" Trowa asked mildly, turning his olive gaze on his former colleague questioningly.

"**_Ah!_** Yes." Quatre stumbled as Mikura removed her arm from his back to drape it casually around Trowa's neck, "Hatake asked for me to locate Mimiru-jo to ask her opinion on this whole Empiric business, but I've been unable to locate her."

"Really? How odd." Mikura murmured, "Have you tried asking Duo where she is? You know how insanely protective he's gotten since she started pumping blood for two. He'll probably know her exact coordinates down to the millimeter."

"Actually…that's the thing." Quatre mumbled under his breath, looking at the floor awkwardly, "I can't seem to locate him either…Duo's missing too."

"Now that certainly is strange." Trowa said thoughtfully, "Where could they have disappeared to I wonder."

* * *

"Hey Michiru?" Heero called, not lifting his eyes from the computer screen in front of him. 

"Mm?" She responded, eyes glued to the specifications for a new palmtop that were flashing across the monitor before her.

"Marry me?" Heero asked, fingers still flying over the keys of as he continued to compile data.

"Mm." Michiru said absently with a nod, still typing in schematic figures only to come to an abrupt halt and do a very comical double take, "Wait, **what?**"

Heero paused his incessant typing and unglued his eyes from the screen in front of him to look at Michiru.

"I said, will you marry me." He restated calmly.

"_**Oh.**_ Okay." Michiru said in relief, "I thought for a minute there you said…never mind."

"What?" Heero demanded to know, "Tell me."

"No. Its just too stupid." Michiru responded instantly, turning to face the laptop screen only to have Heero snatch it from in front of her and plop down in it's place.

"What did you think I said?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest, indicating he was more than willing to wait to get an answer.

"…fairy glee?" Michiru replied, turning the color of a tomato, as Heero gave her a very strange look, "I was listening to Ike Ike (1) on my palmtop too loud last night! My ears are shot!"

"Well?" Heero asked, still staring at her hard, reminiscent of the days when Michiru was crushin' on him, yet was terrified he would kill her for doing so.

"Well what?" Michiru squeaked, quelling under the severity of that stare, thinking Heero was angry at her for twisting his words.

"Will you marry me? Or not?" Heero asked with a sigh.

"**OH! **Oh of **_course_** I will!" Michiru cried, flooding with relief, letting a loose the breath she had been holding, doing an internal, _"HOMIGOD, he's not angry, thank you saweewwt jeezus!"_

* * *

"How do you think Hatake's holding up?" Wufei asked mildly, toweling off his hair from the shower he had just taken. 

"How do you** think?**" Misaki snorted, rolling her eyes, still laid out from the 'all–nighter' she'd just pulled, "I would expect that with **_your_** analytical mind, figuring how he's doing wouldn't be **that **much of a task for you."

"That badly huh?" Wufei mused, sitting on the edge of the bed, "I never really took him to be one to let stressful situations effect him so…unless of course it directly involved you and your sisters."

"Well, this is a pretty big deal in his eyes." She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut, "He refuses to accept the fact that he already was kinda sorta ruling the country from the background."

"Sort of the way he was in denial about the Succubus?" Wufei asked, lying back against the sheets.

"Not. Even. Close." Misaki replied flatly, her face blank, "He's nowhere **_near_** that level of denial."

"You're right." Wufei replied, holding up a hand defensively, "I apologize."

"Yeah, he's just at a weird place right now, that's all." Misaki said dismissively, "It's the word 'Emperor of Japan' that's throwing him for a loop."

"Understandable I suppose." Wufei said, looking up at his wife, "People allow words to hold much power indeed."

"How did we get on this topic I wonder?" Misaki wondered aloud, changing subjects abruptly, a sly smirk filling her face, "Just minutes before you couldn't stop telling me how great my ass look-!"

"**MISAKI!** Don't be **_lewd!_**" Wufei cried, coloring a deep shade of red at his spouse's provocative behavior.

"Hey, I'm just quoting you here." Misaki snickered, screeching in protest as her husband lobbed a pillow at her head.

"**Cheater! **That was**_ low!_**" She cried, grabbing her own from beneath her head and diving at him with a loud, Amazonian battle cry, "Oh it's **_onnnnnnnnn_** now, **Wiffle Ball!**"

* * *

"**_Yo!_** Were **back!**" Duo's voice echoed into the foyer, drawing Trowa, Mikura and Quatre from the den. 

"Where the**_ hell_** have you been?" Mikura asked as Mimiru entered behind Duo with a "Viva Las Vegas" T-Shirt on.

"**_Ohhhhhhhhhhh_** no." Trowa moaned, trying not to laugh as he recalled Pilot 2's words during Misaki's wedding prep, "You didn't-"

"We did." Mimiru smirked, holding up her left hand to reveal a good sized wedding band, "We both agreed that we didn't want to deal with all the hassle of a conventional wedding We flew down this morning, were married in fifteen minutes and spent the rest of the day in a casino."

"Sounds **fun**." Quatre said, shaking his head, "Hatake's been looking for you all day. You should go speak with him."

"Ah, is this about the whole, 'him-becoming-emperor' thing?" Duo asked, eyeing the Winner heir inquisitively, "I heard about it on the news."

"Yeah." Mikura said, nodding affirmatively, "He's talked to each one of us in turn."

While Mikura was speaking, Mimiru cleared her throat, took a deep breath then bellowed –

"**_OI!_ DAD! _HANG LOOSE!_**"

After her quote-un-quote 'words of advice' echoed through the house awhile, Mimiru turned to Duo with a smirk on her lips.

"Well. I think he got the message." She said, "Come on, I need to get dinner started."

In his study, Hatake dropped the solid gold Empiric seal on his desk and fell out of his chair from the unscheduled heartattack with the side order of potato wedges his eldest child just served him.

* * *

(A/N: Hatake has to adjust to newfound/old bound power, Joao and Sky (who were noticably absent this chappie) are scoping out their new home, more wedding plans and a trip to the obstetrician! R&R!) 


	47. Civilian Life: Hodgepodge

(A/N: WOOT! I'm so glad you liked my last chappie! This one would've been loaded sooner, but the document manager was having issy-yews. Anyway, on with the fic!)

* * *

"Oh **WOW!** It's **_really _**coming along!" Sky whistled as the construction site loomed into view. 

"True that…true that." Joao breathed, his eyes wide in awe, "It's almost **done!** Incredible."

The house stood three stories high and had most of the walls and windows in place, a contractor was working on and elaborate koi pond and another worker was busy finishing up the veranda overlooking rows of fruit trees.

"It's exactly as I pictured it!" Sky grinned, wrapping his arms around Joao happily, "And by the look of things, construction should be finished in the next two weeks."

"It's just too _**much!**_" Joao whooped, somersaulting clumsily and landing on his back hard, "I **still** can't believe she was willing to give us **_all_** _**this**_ just to get **rid** of that wench."

"**_I_** can." Sky said with a shrewd expression on his face, taking a seat next to his boyfriend, "**You** never saw her when she was alone. That woman was a **_BEE_**-**YATCH** with a capital 'B', love."

"I'd believe it." Joao said staring up into Sky's icy-blue eyes, "Dya know what I heard from her boy-sorry…her husband?"

"No, what?" Sky asked, a question lighting his eyes, and concern lacing his voice at his boyfriend's tone.

"That wench actually socked Mimi in the stomach." Joao said in a hushed voice like a small child revealing who had eaten all of the cookies.

Sky's jaw dropped, eyes widened; even though he felt no more romantic love for Mimiru, the protective love of a sibling was still there.

Noting the rage now smoldering in his lover's eyes, Joao did exactly what knew must be done to douse the fires of anger-he reached up, grabbed the sides of Sky's head and pulled him down into a very, rough kiss.

Pulling away sometime later, breathless and a little red in the face, Sky glowered down at Joao poutilly.

"Now whydja have to go and do **_that_**?" he mumbled in a slightly childish way, "Now I'm not **angry** anymore."

"Idiot. That's exactly **_WHY_** I did it." Joao snorted, "There's no need for you to be angry at what's not **there** anymore."

"You're right." Sky sighed, lying back on the grass, "I was being a dumbass. That Succubus is thousands of miles away. She's not a problem anymore."

* * *

"Alright Mrs. Maxwell. We're ready for you now." 

"Mrs. Maxwell…I'm starting to like the sound of that." Mimiru smirked clamoring to her feet before glancing back at her husband, "You wanna see the baby?"

Duo grinned up at her from his chair and hopped next her in a heartbeat, looping his arm with hers.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He smiled walking with her into the obstetrician's office, where they were greeted by Hakase (1) Fujioka.

"Well, Mrs. Maxwell, why doncha hop up on the table and we can get started." the hakase smiled, patting the one behind her as the patient walked forward and made herself comfortable.

"Now, you made sure to imbibe plenty of fluids before coming here, yes?" Fujioka asked, checking Mimiru's pulse as she spoke.

"If her complaining for forty-five minutes of how much she had to go was any indication…" Duo snickered as Mimiru chucked the car keys at his head, which were caught instead of hitting their intended target.

"I'll take that as a yes." The hakase chuckled, now placing the stethoscope on Mimiru's abdomen without any kind of warning, making her squeak from the sudden cold.

After listening to the baby's heart beat for a moment, Fujioka gave a nod of approval and strode across the room to grab a container of sonographic gel.

"Alright, Mrs. Maxwell." The hakase said cheerfully, pulling on a pair of latex gloved and unscrewing the cap, "I'm not going to lie to you- this is going to be very cold."

"**_YEEOW!_** You weren't **kidding!**" Mimiru yelped as the substance came into contact with her abdomen, "**_BRRRR!_** How **much** of that stuff do you have to **_use_**?"

"Enough." Duo remarked with a smirk, drawing a lackluster scowl from his wife on the table.

"I don't see **you** carrying around this baby." She ground out in an artificially sweet tone that sent shivers down Duo's spine, "So kindly shut up before I kick you."

* * *

"Alright. Is everything straight?" 

"Yes daddy."

"How does my hair look?"

"Just fine, daddy."

"And my speech is?"

"In your hand, daddy."

Hatake took a deep breath; today he was to be formally inducted into office and he was all nerves.

He knew he shouldn't be; he had practiced and re-practiced his speech at **_least_** twenty times so he had it memorized word for word.

He knew from a single glance in the mirror he fit the mental image one would get of the Japanese emperor as suit was immaculate down to the last button - Michiru had seen to that the night before.

The Main House had actually called up and his grandfather had told him how…how proud he was; Hatake was still having a hard time registering that one.

So he couldn't understand, when he had all his cards in order, **why** he was so nervous.

"Why don't you go talk to mom?"

"Hwuh?" Hatake blinked and rounded on Mitsuki, who was gingerly manhandling his sash, "What did you say?"

"Go visit mom." Mitsuki repeated with a smile, "Visit her grave, and get it out of your system. It may help."

"But I only have an **_hour!_**" Hatake cried softly, "There's not enough time for me to-"

"So what?" Mitsuki shrugged, putting on his sash, "You'd never be able to pass yourself off for an emperor in the state your in."

She then grabbed her father by the shoulders and pushing him towards the door.

"But…**but**…**_Mitsu_**!" Hatake protested as she pushed him into the hallway, "There **isn't** enough **_time_**!"

"There's **always** enough time for the emperor, daddy!" Mitsuki said, waggling her finger at him, "Now go vent already!"

She shut the door behind him, locking him out and leaving him with only two options: A) trying to knock the door down, or B) go speak to his deceased wife and hope that it helped in someway.

He decided to go with B) and, with a sigh, trudged down the hall to the elevator, hitting the button labeled B1 to get to his car in the garage.

"Alright dear." Hatake murmured as he started the engine, "I'm ready to unload if you're ready to listen."

* * *

"Huh…I'm **_still_** not sure." Mikura sighed, looking at the two costumes before her, "What do you think Trowa?" 

"It's your decision, Mikura." Trowa said firmly, still sifting through the racks, "Remember, it's all about how it feels on. Looks alone are not what counts."

"Thanks for the help." Mikura said sarcastically, lifting up one of her options: a black, gothic dress with bodice waist and a slit up to her thigh.

"Have you found anything you like yet, Tro?" Mikura asked as she set the costume back down.

"I'm beginning to think I should just wear my clown-" Trowa began only to be shot down by a single withering look from his fiancée.

"We **already** talked about this." She glowered, "You wear that costume nearly **_every_day**. This is a special, once in a **_lifetime_** event. Try something different!"

Trowa sighed heavily and continued sifting through the costumes as his bride-to-be lifted the second gown she selected: a hisa-me (2) costume, complete with ogama (3) and leathery, black bat wings that spanned ten ft. (that's five ft. per wing for those of us who are bad at math)

"Ooo." Mikura grinned, her eyes sparkling, "The more I look at this one, the more I'm liking it."

Trowa frowned and allowed the pirate costume he held slip through his hands as a childish pout filled his face.

"Why doesn't she just become a polygamist and marry Maxwell?" he muttered under his breath, only to find the blade of plastic ogama at his throat seconds later.

"What was that dear?" Mikura asked sweetly, a saccharine smile on her lips, "I could of sworn I heard the sound of something stupid falling from your lips."

"Why of course not." Trowa said, using his index and middle fingers to ease the plastic blade aside, "What on earth would possess you to believe I would say something stupid?"

"Only your jealous ranting, dear." Mikura smirked, twirling the ogama before resting it easily on her shoulder, "Next time, be envious a little bit more quietly, 'kay?"

* * *

"_**Sheesh**_,girl!" Duo said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly, "You'd never know by looking at you, huh?" 

"Don't talk to me right now, Duo." Mimiru replied numbly, her eyes glazed, "I'm still adjusting to idea of carrying a litter."

The two were on their way to the car from the obstetrician's office, the sonogram photos in hand, revealing that Mimiru, despite having gained little to no weight, was carrying not **one**, not** two**, but **_THREE _**babies.

It shouldn't have been that big of a shock if you looked at the Sugino and Rousseau's history of multiple births…but the fact that she was carrying three and still kept a model's figure ('cept for an itty-bitty bulge at the front) was a bit staggering.

"I mean…**man** oh **_man_**." Duo said, taking a seat behind the wheel and staring at the sonogram, just to make sure the results were accurate, "There're all there. One, two three."

"Just stop it." Mimiru groaned, snatching the sonogram away from her husband, chucking it into the glove box, "My abs are covered with that disgusting ultrasound gloop and my mind is buzzing: all I wanna do right now is go home, shower and get this crap off me."

"**Alright**...alright." Duo said, starting the car and backing out of the parking space, "…hey, Mimi…did they tell you the genders yet?"

"**_DUO_**!" Mimiru cried exasperatedly, allowing her head to fall on the dashboard with resounding clunk, "If your **really** must know, no. They didn't. It's **_far_** too early for that Besides, I wanna be surprised."

"But Mimiru, how are we gonna buy **clothes** for them if we don't even know what you're going to **_have_**?" Duo asked as he pulled into traffic.

"I'll just tell anyone I invite to the baby shower to buy clothes in gender neutral green." she replied sensibly, "And toys that are unbiased too."

"Sounds like **you've** got it all figured out." Duo said, cocking an eyebrow at her, "But if you have a boy, can I name him Solo?"

"…sure." Mimiru replied, tossing him a strange look, "Don't see any reason why you can't."

"Thank you." Duo replied with a smile, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I really mean it."

* * *

"Well?" Mitsuki asked Quatre expectantly after the heir came to meet her outside the locker room, "How'd he do?" 

"Surprisingly well, actually." He replied as she bent down to double knot her shoelace, "He didn't miss a beat."

"'m glad my advice helped some." She grinned as she stood back up, "Honestly, he does just fine when he loosens up."

"It's too bad your game was the same time as the inauguration." Quatre sighed, "It seemed like almost everyone had something going on that prevented them from being there. It's almost like you all-"

"-planned it that way? We did." Michiru said guiltily, her head and Heero's popping around the corner as she waved at the Winner heir, "We knew our presence there would just add to the pressure on dad, so…"

"I understand," Quatre smiled, "No explanations are needed. I'm just glad everything's worked itself out."

"Well…not everything, Q." Mitsuki said in a singsong voice, pushing something into his hand.

"What's-?" Quatre stopped short when he saw the gold wedding band in his hand and felt Mitsuki clasp her hands around his.

"Well, Quatre?" She asked, getting on her knee with a sheepish grin, "**Usually** the roles are reversed but…will you marry me?"

"How about it, Winner?" Heero smirked, wrapping his arms around his own fiancé's shoulders, "Give the girl an **_answer_** at least. A simple yes or no will do."

"Of course I will." Quatre said, pulling the soccer pro back on her feet to give her a bone-crushing hug, "Of course I will."

"About time." Michiru smiled, looking up at Heero, "And here you always told me Maxwell-san was the slow one."

* * *

(1) Hakase – doctor 

(2) hisa-me – a female death god

(3) ogama - scythe

* * *

(A/N: I thought I should let you all know that I'm basing Mimiru's pregnancy off my Aunt Carey's. I swear, I didn't know that woman was preggers until AFTER she had given birth! Anyhoo, baby showers, fun with wedding planners, and what's the deal with that potted plant? R&R!) 


	48. Civilian Life: The Death Of A HousePlant

(A/N: Hey guys! This woulda been up sooner but this weekend was just a nightmare! I hope you enjoy it!)

* * *

"Ummm, **Duo?**" Mimiru called into the living room, "Could you come here for a sec?"

"Yeah?" he asked, poking his head around the corner to peer at her, "What's up, babe?"

"You need to see this." Mimiru smirked, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him upstairs to his rarely used bedroom.

"Whoa, **_whoa! _**What's the rush?" Duo cried as his newlywed wife tugged him over to the window sill.

"See for yourself." Mimiru snickered, unable to hold back a grin anylonger as she pointed to the lone object on the window sill.

Duo looked. It was a cactus…weeeellll, if'n ya want to get technical, it was a now dead cactus Duo had purchased months ago and had jokingly dubbed _'Bob, the Friendly Neighborhood Acupuncturist.'_

Duo stared, and stared at his long deceased and withered plant, expired from months of neglect, then over his shoulder at his expectant wife, who had started snickering behind him.

"You realize-**_pfffffft_**-what this m-means right?" she choked out, only seconds away from losing all grip on her composure.

"Noooo…what?" Duo asked, growing increasingly more annoyed by the run around his wife was giving him.

"**Y-you're less _nurturing_ than a _DESERT!_**" She howled, collapsing to the floor in peals of laughter, pounding the floorboards with her fist.

Duo finally realized the humor in the situation and was grabbing hold of the dresser for support only seconds later he was laughing so hard.

"Oh…oh **god!**" he gasped out, tears of laughter streaming down his face, "You're **awful**, Mimi! You know that's not true!"

"But I just couldn't **_help_** myself!" Mimiru wheezed, pushing herself to her feet and catching a glimpse of 'Bob' at the same moment as Duo.

The two shared a brief look before busting up again, reaching the point where it was physically painful to breathe.

"W-well, dya think we should hold a funeral service for Bob?" Duo asked shakily, not trusting his legs to support him at the moment.

"Good idea." Mimiru replied, not have faith in herself to look up and chance seeing the dead cacti again.

* * *

"Heero, I dunno. A planner?" Michiru said doubtfully, "Misaki and Wufei planned their own wedding. Mikura and Trowa are going that route too. Why rock the boat?" 

"Because, we are not your sisters, Pilot Five or Three." Heero replied easily, as he pressed the button labeled fifteen, "Just because they choose to go one route doen't mean we should."

"I suppose." Michiru replied uneasily, wondering why she had such a sense of impending doom rising in her stomach as the elevator doors slid open and made their way to the wedding planner's office.

"You mus' be the Yuy's."

Michiru and Heero broke out in a cold sweat at the scene before them that reminded both of a very bad (yet still very funny in an extremely perverse way) twenty-first century movie spoofing someone named J-Lo they had watched the night before.

The both turned on their heels and scurried (yes, Heero actually scurried) back to the elevator, where the Perfect Soldier repeatedly jabbed the 'door close' button while Michiru worked the one for the first floor.

The doors slid shut and the elevator whirred to life, beginning it's downward descent, bringing sighs of relief from both bride-to-be and soon-to-be-groom.

The exchanged a look, traveling in silence for moment or two as the elevator reached the ground floor.

"We're planning our own wedding?" Michiru asked, lacing her fingers with Heero's as they exited the elevator.

"We're planning our own wedding." Heero replied jadedly as the automatic doors slid open and they made their way into the parking garage, "I should have known better than to mess with a good thing."

"You just wanted to separate yourself from the moral majority." Michiru said as they stalked towards the car, "But in this case, the majority won and we lost."

* * *

"…Misaki? Don't take this the wrong way, but have you gained weight?" Wufei asked politely, causing his wife to drop the mug she currently washing, making it shatter into itty-bitty fragments on the countertop. 

"Excuse me…dya mind repeating that?" Misaki asked in an overly sugary tone reminiscent of Jazlyn, "What did you just say to me?"

"He's telling the truth sis." Mitsuki remarked next to her, still scrubbing away at a crock pot (Quatre had a late night so he's still in bed), "Which is a little surprising giving your current training regime. When did you last weigh yourself?"

"Well not that it's any of your **business** but two weeks ago for my required police physical." Misaki replied snippily, "And if **_my_** **waistline** is bothering you all **_soooo_** much, I'll weigh myself again!"

"You know you don't have…to." Wufei trailed off as Misaki stomped out of the room, muttering what were undoubtedly profanities under her breath, and into the hallway bathroom.

Only seconds later there was a deafening shriek and Misaki ran, white as a sheet, back in the kitchen and into Wufei, nearly knocking him over.

"What is it? What's the matter?" Mitsuki cried as tears began pouring down her siblings face as she broke down in hysterics.

"**Teh-teh-TEN Puh-puh-POUNDS!**" Misaki wailed, eyes flooded with panic, "How could I've have put on **_that much weight?_**"

"…isn't it obvious?" Mimiru said nonchalantly, entering the kitchen from a side door and grabbing a Ramune out of the fridge, a smirk dancing on her lips, "All I can say is, if you didn't wanna join me in the joys of pregnancy, sister dear, ya should of swallowed."

"…no need to be so vulgar." Wufei said shrewdly, patting Misaki's back as she began to calm down now that she realized that there was a feasible reason for her sudden weight gain.

"I hope you can handle this and stay in one piece, Wufei." Mikura said idly, as she reached around Mimiru to grab a beer, "I mean really, just when you were developing a rhythm, you're handed an estrogen-Molotov cocktail."

"Yeah, I'm survivng because I'm keeping Mimi swimming in a sea of energy drinks and watermelon." Duo said, appearing at the fridge with his face and arms rather dirt smudged..

"What happened to you?" Misaki asked, quirking an eyebrow at Duo and noting the sod trail that traced a path from the refrigerator and out the side door.

Mimiru and Duo exchanged a look, snorted and dissolved into snickers.

"Oh, we were just saying our fond farewells to **_Bob_**." Duo managed to choke out.

A simultaneous thought was shared by all those who were not 'in' on this particular inside joke: _Who the Fuck is Bob?

* * *

_

"Alright. Do we have a general idea of what we wanna do now?" Michiru asked looking at the layout she had built up on Andromeda's wall sized monitor (see ch.29).

"Affirmative." Heero nodded, leaning over her shoulder, "A non-conventional wedding held on a cliffside."

"Are we going to paraglide to the base after the final vows?" Michiru asked, puckering her forehead in thought (…she's actually taking the idea into consideration)

"I suppose we could." Heero replied thoughtfully, "I could give you lessons if we decide to go that route."

"Did you hear what Quatre and Mitsuki are doing for their ceremony?" Michiru asked, glancing away from the screen, "They're having a private service in the Bahamas next week. It's just going to be the two of them, but they're gonna video tape it."

"Keeping things simple like Maxw…pardon me. I meant to say '**The'** Maxwell's." Heero replied with a shake of his head, "Let's resume our planning session, shall we?"

"Right." Michiru replied with a smile, turning back to face the monitor, "Should we have a gathering of friends and family? Or just keep it between the two of us?"

"…I don't know." Heero murmured, gazing at the immense computer and recalling it's A.I. capabilities as he did so, "Any thoughts on this matter, Andromeda?"

The plans on the screen began flickering and the image of a woman made complete of celestial bodies appeared, looking very haughty.

"Friends and family **_obviously_**." The A.I. snorted, "A wedding is one of those once in a _**lifetime**_ events. Spread the love around. **Yeesh**! _Making me do eveything - god!_"

Opinion voice the wedding plans returned on screen.

"…well…**she** certainly hasn't changed one bit." Heero remarked lightly, "I thought you would have altered her personality data at least a little over the years."

"I've tried, but she's self-teaching." Michiru replied with a sigh, "She doesn't want me fiddling with her personality, so she keeps changing the access codes."

* * *

"Duo, I don't know." Mimiru murmured, currently doing a walkover, "Do we really need to have a baby shower?" 

"Do you know how distracting it is trying to talk to someone when they're doing that?" Duo asked bluntly, as his wife stuck her tongue out at him and went into a handstand, "And while I suppose **_financially_** we don't really need to, it's **really** about celebrating the baby more than the gifts."

"…that's bull and you know it." Mimiru said drably, performing a handless cartwheel.

"You're right." Duo replied with a smirk, "But humor me please. Tap into what little femininity you have and say we will."

"…will it make you happy?" Mimiro sighed, walking over to him on her hands and cart-wheeling onto her feet about a foot in front of her husband.

"Very." Duo replied with a nod, grabbing her wrist and pulling her onto his knees, proceeding to place a hand over her uterus, "And if you don't it for me, do it for Cosmos, Algae, and Little Fish(1)."

"Oh **_fine_**." Mimiru sighed, bringing her head to rest on his shoulder, "You win. We'll have the freaking baby-shower."

"I'm glad you see it my way." Duo said with a devious smile, "Because it's starting in ten minutes."

"…say what?" Mimiru asked, eyes widening, "Oh dear god you didn't."

"Can't back out now, love." Duo grinned, "Now go get changed. You have time."

"But not nearly enough time to decorate or make enough food." Mimiru said, already getting dizzy from the ten-ton load of stress that had just come plummeting onto her shoulders.

"Ah, details, details." Duo said easily as he half-led, half-pushed his wife up the stairs, "I've already ordered out for pizzas, and do you really think an emperor's daughter needs to decorate?"

"If I didn't love you so much, you'd be lying at the bottom of these stairs in a pool of your own blood right now." Mimiru spat as she was hurried into her bedroom.

"Very kinky, Mimi, but it's gonna have to wait until later." Duo replied calmly from the doorjamb, "Now get changed okay?"

With that, he shut the door behind him, leaving Mimiru to change out of her spandex leotard and into human clothes.

"Get changed? How does he expect me to focus on what I'm putting on myself when…" she muttered to herself as she tugged a sweater dress over her head.

"Phwuhh…once this baby shower's over and done with we're are going to have a **_lonnnnng_** talk about planning things together." Mimiru sighed irritably as she heard the doorbell ring, "Spontaneity is all well and good, but this **ridiculous**!"

* * *

(1) Cosmos, Algae, Little Fish - what Duo has dubbed the unborn babies as he doesn't know the gender -my sister tadpole;...I was Cosmos Cola-

* * *

(A/N: The Baby shower, a Series of Weddings and more fun with Hatake. R&R!)

* * *

Yes, this fic is coming to an end soon. Probably in the next two chappies 


	49. Civilian Life: Showers,Weddings&Baby?

(A/N: WEEEEEEEEE! This is a long one! Hope ya like it!)

* * *

"Mimiru, are you **_sure_** you're five months pregnant?" Noin teased, giving the First Daughter a kiss on each cheek.

"If you don't believe me, I'd be more than **happy** to show you my sonogram." Mimiru snorted, giving the older woman a hug.

"Sit down Maxwell/Sugino. You will have enough to deal with when the others get here." Milliardo said guiding her towards the living room.

"Mother hen." Hilde teased, giving Duo a wave and unloading her gift with the others on a large table.

"Eh-hem."

Mimiru blinked and saw to her surprised that the owner of said cough was none other than Relena Peacecraft. She held a wrapped present in her hands and looked rather uncomfortable.

"I…need to apologize." She mumbled, pressing the gift into Mimiru's arms, "The way I've been acting is not befitting of my Pacifistic beliefs at all."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Mimiru said bluntly, "You should be apologizing to Michiru and Heero."

"Right…they are here aren't they?" the Vice Foreign Minister asked almost timidly.

"In the kitchen." Duo replied, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, "They're making punch."

Relenea nodded and made her way into the kitchen, to own up and apologize.

"Michiru, I…**_IneedtosayI'msorry_**." Relena gushed loudly, bowing deeply and startling Michiru and Heero respectively, "How can I make us even?"

Michiru appeared thoughtful for a moment then palmed her fist, walked over to the fridge and removed a single item.

She gripped Relena's shoulder, making her look up and in the blink of an eye, the Vice Foreign Minister had a whip cream bikini over her Versace business suit.

"Walk around like that for the rest of the afternoon, and I think we'll be about even." Michiru grinned, "Yeah…I think this'll make us about square."

Heero smirked in agreement and gave a nod of approval as Relena gaped at them, amazed that the two of them were being so lenient.

* * *

Duo sighed: for a woman as pregnant as she was, Mimiru sure didn't want to sit still much. And Trowa wasn't helping matters - he would just look at her out of his visible eye, smirk, and then walk away. **Walk** **a_way!_**

Needless to say, Milliardo and Duo alike were completely exasperated at this lack of accountability on both her and her sibling's part.

Mikura was currently chatting away with Sally and her husband, Michiru and Heero were catching up with Relena, Mitsuki were finalizing their wedding plans and Misaki was listening with a sheepish _"Help Me"_ look on her face as Wufei ranting about how he was going to be able to revive his clan now.

So it had been left up to Duo and Milliardo to ensure Mimiru kept off her feet and rested…which she was none too happy about, and insisted on voicing every few seconds.

Mimiru was just about to attempt crossing the room to strike up a conversation with Noin, when a hand caught her by the shoulder, stopping her in place and forcing her into a chair.

She wasn't sure if it was Milliardo or Duo, but whether they meant well or not, one of those two worrywarts was going to pay.

* * *

"You know, if you needed someone to talk to that bad, we would have been here sooner." 

Mimiru found herself looking up at long time friends and long time competitors Keket and Hamadi Nouri (see ch. 23).

"Keket! Hamadi! I can't believe you're here! I was about to go crazy just sitting here." Mimiru gushed.

The two just took a seat across from their friend and smiled. The dancing brother/sister pair knew Mimiru was about to go off on a venting tangent.

"You would not **believe** how bad it is when you get this far along!" Mimiru raved, "I mean, I might not look like I am due any minute but I only have another four months. Can you believe it? I feel so suffocated, even though I haven't put on that much weight. I just feel **_so_**-"

"Is that...**complaining** I hear?" The first voice said.

"Well, I'll be **_damned_**. The world is ending." The second said.

"Knock it off, you two. Theyah is no need foh ahded stress foh ay pregnant woomahn." The third commented, the sound of bags on the table following the deep, rich, heavily accented male voice.

"Sky! Joao! Semei! Sudati!(see ch.22)" Misaki gushed as her sibling received a hug from each of the new arrivals.

Sudati brushed her tightly braided black hair over her shoulder and flashed brilliantly white, even teeth at Misaki.

"We knew weh shoo try ta be a bit uhly, 'foh you wuh rushed wit' people an' left t' lie down." She said, her intense Ugandan accent coloring her words as she spoke.

"Sky practically **kicked** **me** out the door." Joao whined, a smile on his lips as he swatted Sky across the ass as he strolled past to greet Quatre and Heero.

"'ee was really not mooch **_betta_** wit' meh." Semei smirked, giving a nod of acknowledgement to Duo and went to speak to the ever mobile Trowa.

* * *

"How have things been treating you, Joao?" Hamadi asked with a smile. 

"Yes, how have you been? Hama and I have not heard from you in quite awhile now." Keket put in.

"Fine." Sky simply stated, interlacing his fingers with Joao's lightly and pulling him forwards to join him.

"So, how is the kid, or kids, Mimi?" Sally asked, grinning in Mimiru's general direction as she waited for Noin to stop ogling the sonogram and pass it to her.

"Feisty like Duo, and it is most definitely kids, Po-kun." Mimiru snorted while patting her middle affectionately, "Even without the ultrasound, with this much movement going on, there is unquestionably more than one little tumbler in there."

"So, what is it then? Two?" Mikura asked, quirking an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Higher." Quatre remarked calmly from his position by the punch bowl.

"Homigod there's three in there." Keket laughed as the sonogram reached her.

"You're **_shittin'_** me." Relena gaped, dropping all decorum out of shock, scrambling forward and staring, open mouthed at the ultrasound, "…**sunnavagun**…it's…it's true."

"Q can't help it if he's a **_fiiine_**, lil' empath." Mitsuki smirked, wrapping her arms around his waist, making him color faintly, "In't he cute?"

"But we **specifically** told you time and time again...not to give away too much information." Heero sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"We wanted to be surprised." Michiru said somewhat wistfully, "But a least were still in the dark as to the genders."

* * *

"So how many babies were you planning for?" Noin asked teasingly, "I know you couldn't have been prepped for three." 

"I know I thought you were only going to have one." Misaki admitted, coloring slightly as Wufei handed her another glass of punch (don't worry, it's non-alcoholic.)

"That's what I was I thinking as well." Wufei replied, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa next to Misaki.

"I dunno." Trowa said thoughtfully, smiling cryptically at Duo who stuck his tongue out, "I had a feeling it was more than one…but this is right out."

"**_Bonsoir_** everyone!" a new voice called, greeting all those already present as they entered the room.

"**Gran-Gran!**" Mimiru cried in surprise, leaping out her chair to hug her Parisian relative, "How on earth-it's so good to see you!"

"When did you get here, Gramma?" Mikura asked her, eyes dancing happily, "I mean, it's been so long."

"Let her get in the door, at least." Michiru said with a sheepish laugh.

The older woman, after taking a seat next to Duo, struck up a conversation with her grandchildren.

"Lady Rousseau, long time no see." Sally said with a soft smile, "How have you been holding up…given the circumstances?"

"Very vell I think." Fleur responded, releasing a quiet sigh. "It vas zo difficult foh my mind to wrap ay-round."

"I'm sure if any of we put in your place, we wouldn't have suspected anything either." Milliardo said comfortingly.

"We find you looking better I see." Noin said, giving the woman's hand a light, "Hopefully you've experienced some better times?"

"Oui. Ahfter ze therapy, ah vent on a trip." Fleur replied, with a smile, "From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, I vent everyvere ah cood and eet helped clear mah head."

"I'm glad for you, Rousseau-san." Wufei said in a rare show of compassion.

* * *

"Duo, you think you can get me some water as you apparently don't want me standing?" Mimiru asked him. 

"Sure thing." Duo replied, rising to his feet and walking to the kitchen.

Keket and Noin snickered behind her hand once he was out of ear shot.

"Wrapped around yoh fingah there Mimi?" Sudati smirked, Semei chuckling behind her.

Mitsuki began laughing so hard that she fell out of her seat and cracked her elbow on a nearby lamp.

"Attention everyone!" said a new voice. "I believe now is an opportune time for Mimiru-jo to open the many presents for her unborn new children."

None other than Lady Une strode through the door, with Mariemeia right behind her.

Needless to say the entire Gundam Gang was beyond shocked: Fiery Une and Mariemeia Kushrenada…right there in the house and for the party none the less!

"Would you **kindly** pick your **_jaw_** off the floor?" Michiru sighed, poking the underside of Heero's mouth and forcing it shut, "You're making a **mockery** of yourself."

"_Une is a family friend._" Misaki whispered at Wufei, who was still gawking at the woman in business casual, "_So at least TRY to be civil._"

"Hey Une." Mikura smiled, giving the red-headed teen (currently 17) a noogie, "Hey Mari-kun. How's tricks?"

"We've been doing quite well, thank you." Une replied as Mariemeia smiled sheepishly at the Kendo master.

"We really hope you both like our gift." The former dictator smiled as she spotted Relena and rushed over to give her a hug. (she's fully recovered from injuries she sustained in Endless Waltz and has full mobility)

"Well then, if the two of you will take a seat, we can begin." Duo said, grinning broadly.

"We better have it brought in then." Une smirked, seeing Misaki's look of avid curiousity and Mimiru's look of offhanded almost caring.

"**_Bring it in!_**" Mariemeia yelled down the hall, summoning a line of men, completely loaded down with a long, wide crib entirely decked out: half in blue as if for a boy and half in lilac as though for a girl.

"It's crafted for three. If you find you need a smaller, or larger one, just exchange it." Une said, looking quite proud of herself..

Duo's mouth was gaping and Mimiru's lips had formed an 'o' of surprise. But then again, everyone else's pieholes were mimicking their's so they didn't feel too much shame.

"You just **had** to show all of us up, **_didn't_** you Une?" Noin said, shaking her head in disbelief.

* * *

_Later That Week…_

"Quatre, I'm **so** nervous!" Mitsuki whispered into her soon to be husband's ear, "It feels like there's a swarm of vomiting **_butterflies_** in my stomach."

"I know, I'm nervous too, but we'll get through it." Quatre replied, giving her hand a light squeeze, "At least the added tension of extra people isn't present."

"Right." Mitsuki nodded, sweating a little under the collar, "I'd rather not think about how I'd be if they were here."

The native priest cleared his throat, indicating he was ready to start the ceremony, bringing the dialogue to a halt as both colored slightly and waited for him to start.

"Heh heh! **_Youuu_** make a great Victor Van Dort." Mikura smirked, bumping Trowa's shoulder deliberately with her own as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"This coming from the Corpse Bride? I wonder if I should be worried." Trowa said mildly, looping his arm with hers, "We're not the only ones who went with a Tim Burton theme either."

"I **know**!" Mikura giggled, "Mimiru and Duo went as Sally and Jack Skellington From Nightmare Before Christmas, Michiru and Heero are Edward Scissorhands and Kim."

The wedding march sounded, startling them both out of their skins, and, looking at one another sheepishly, the two made their way through the double doors.

"I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs. Heero Yuy. You may now kiss the bride."

Not needing to be told twice, Heero leaned forward and kissed Michiru softly, feeling the heat radiating off her like a kotatsu.

Gripping her hand firmly, he asked her the million dollar question:

"Do you remember which cord to pull?"

Nodding firmly, Michiru gave Heero's hand a squeeze and both ran off the edge of the cliff, viciously yanking the rip cords and releasing their parachutes, gliding to the stretch limo at the base of the canyon.

* * *

"Teiousama, might I have a word with you?" 

The newly appointed emperor glanced up to see an older man with a mechanical hand standing in his doorway, grinning in at him in a way that made him more than slightly nervous.

"May I help you?" Hatake asked politely, wondering who this man was and how on earth he had managed to worm his way past security.

"I merely wished to deliver my good tidings." The man (Dr. J) said cheerfully, holding up a cake box (don't do it man!)

"Why thank you." Hatake replied, reaching out to take it from this stranger while making a mental note to deliver it to his tasters first thing,

"You're very welcome." Dr. J smiled, activating the switch concealed in his pocket, causing blinding light to erupt from the box followed shortly by a huge explosion.

"**_Your Excellency!_**" Lady Une cried, followed shortly after by Mariemeia who was hot on her heels, "**What**…huuuhhh?"

Both women could not believe their eyes.

"Oh…my god." Mariemeia gaped, falling to her knees, "This just isn't possible. This is **insane**!"

Lady Une remained quiet and crossed the room, swooping down on the burbling infant in Emperor's clothing.

"How are we going to explain this to the girls?" she mused.

* * *

(A/N: The Mad Doctors have done it again! And you thought I'd target the boys! Which sib'll run the country with a pint-sized emperor-dad to deal with? How will the Quints even handle the fact that they are now older than their father? R&R!)


	50. Civilian Life: WHAT DID YOU DO!

(A/N: Sorry this took so long. I've been laid up for quite awhile. They've just run some blood tests so I should know what's wrong soon. Anyway read on!)

* * *

Mimiru and Misaki were not allowed to see their father, the health of their unborn children and themselves coming first, they were forced to stay outside the office. 

Mitsuki, Mikura and Michiru were a completely different story and upon seeing their miniaturized father, they exploded into fits of rage that would have made the Greecian Titans jealous.

All three had to be restrained by their husbands to keep from lashing out at the elderly doctor with nearby fire pokers, table lamps and sharp, pointy office supplies.

After being dragged out of the emperor's office with the sounds of Doctor J's laughter trailing after them, Duo and Wufei entered the office, and debated whether or not it was safe to bring the mini-monarch out to show their wives.

Finally, deciding they were going to find out sooner or later, Duo and Wufei exited Hatake's office, Mariemeia and Une in tow with said sovereign in Une's arms.

Misaki screamed like a banshee, babbling that there was no way in **_hell_** that she was older than her father while shaking her head violently.

Mimiru just stared, leaned in close and asked, "Dad? …is that really you?" Her answer came in the form of the baby squealing in sheer delight and kicking its itty-bitty feet.

Mimiru then nodded, sat back on the sofa and fainted sitting up (OHMIGOD! Another rare glimpse at her femininity! GET THE CAMERA!)

"**Mimiru-san!**" Mariemeia cried, grabbing a water pitcher and dabbing the First Daughter's neck and wrists with cold water.

"Everybody calm down." Quatre said in a pacifying tone that had an underlying authoritive edge, "We've faced worse than this. Now, let's try to think about this rationally."

"Yes, we **_must_** decide on a suitable replacement for Hatake-sama." Une said severely, "I have no way of knowing when he will revert to normal."

"I nominate Heero-boy." Duo said genially as Mimiru started coming around, "He's the most level headed."

"Yes, but **Quatre** had the most experience in matter's like this." Wufei said pointedly, gripping Misaki's shoulders tightly.

"How about this." Mimiru said woozily, holding her head as she forced herself upright, "As he's our father, **_we'll _**watch over him until he reverts back to normal."

"Good plan." Mikura replied swiftly, plucking her chibified father off the floor, "It'll be good training for the three of us."

"Une? Kushrenada? I expect you to provide guidance to the boys and answer any questions they may have in our absence." Michiru said, forcing herself into CEO mindframe to keep from panicking.

"Of course." Une replied, bowing deeply, "Shall I set to work having security interrogate J?"

"Yes." Misaki replied evenly, giving Wufei's hand a pat, indicating that he should ease up on his grip, "Tell them to implement truth serum ASAP."

"Understood." Mariemeia nodded, saluting and leaving the room to fetch the guards.

* * *

"Man oh **man**…this is **_soooo_** weird." Misaki mumbled, bouncing Hatake on her knee, making him squeal with delight as she did so. 

"Yeah, well, get used to it mah deary-dear." Mimiru mumbled, extending her index finger which the mini-monarch promptly reached out to squeeze.

"Yeah, Mimiru's due to pop in two months, Misaki, you aren't in any better shape." Mikura sighed, "I'm about ten weeks along…"

"So basically, let's just look at this as prep." Michiru said, trying to sound calm, "Just think back to that Child Development class we took when we got that fake baby that cried all night."

"Oh lordy, was that ever a nightmare." Mitsuki shuddered, "I do recall giving mine to you, Michi, and having you disable it for the night so I could sleep."

"Hopefully that truth serum will have Doctor J spilling secrets from when he was still an intern." Mimiru murmured, twisting her lips slightly as her chibified-father began sucking on her pinky.

"We can only **hope**." Mitsuki said, tweaking her daddy's toes a little, "I don't care _**how**_ adorable he is as a baby, being older than my old man is just **too** creepy."

"Hey…does anyone else smell something?" Michiru inquired sniffing the air, realizing with horror what it was, "Oh…oh, dear **_GOD_** **no**."

"**Onetwo_three_**-**not me**." Misaki called loudly, forcing her miniaturized father into her elder sibling's lap as she scooted away on her hands.

"_**Not me!**_" Michiru, Mikura and Mitsuki cried, forming crosses with their arms, all aimed at Mimiru who was 'now in possesion' of the mini-monarch.

"Oh for the **love** of Pete." Mimiru snorted, rolling her eyes, and laying Hatake down on the sofa, "Some **_fiiiiiiiine_** mothers you're going to make. Now somebody run downstairs to the nursery and grab me a diaper and wipes."

* * *

"Has the serum had time to take effect?" Une asked a guard standing watch over Doctor J, "Is he ready to talk?" 

"By now, he should be ma'am." The guard replied, saluting her officiously.

"Good." Mariemeia replied with a nod walking in front of the elderly man, "But just to be sure…what is your name?"

"…the name or title by which I am addressed." he mumbled, he eyes rather glassy.

"Excellent." Une replied with a nod stepping beside her adopted daughter, "Now then, "By what means do we revert Sugino Hatake to his former self?"

"…by any means you want." Doctor J muttered numbly, causing both Une and Mariemeia to involuntarily twitch.

"…ummm, let's try that again." Mariemeia said quickly, "By what methods do we change the emperor to his rightful self again?"

"…by any methods you wish." Doctor J mumbled, causing a vein in Une's throat to balloon and for one in Mariemeia's forehead to distend.

"**_Just_** tell us how to return him to normal and **don't** dance around the issue!" Une snarled, practically frothing.

"…when was I dancing?" Doctor J murmured, making both women scream like banshees.

"**_JUST TELL US HOW TO CHANGE HIM BACK!_**" they roared, Mariemeia and Une very red in the face and being restrained by the guards originally assigned to watch J.

"…why didn't you say so?" Doctor J mumbled curiously as both woman broke free of the guards, launching themselves at him.

"**WaitWait_WAIT_!** **Dontyouwanttoknowhowtochangehimback?**" Doctor J spewed quickly, raising his arms defensively.

"Then spit it **_out_** already, or I **swear**…" Une growled, cocking an automatic rifle, "Nothing you say will stop me from pumping you with lead."

"**_Okay_**, **okay!**" Doctor J said quickly, spitting the truth serum he cheeked first before continuing, "All you need to do to change him back is soak him in hot water for five minutes."

"…that's **_all?_**" Mariemeia gaped, falling to her knees, "**Are you _KIDDING_ ME?**"

"Nope." J replied with a shrug, "That's it. It's what changed the girl's back nine years ago when their ages reversed. It's the cure for Hatake."

"One last question." Une growled, massaging the bridge of her nose, "Why did you do this?"

"I heard that Mimiru and Misaki were pregnant…I thought this would be a good experience for-**_BLEHH_**!"

Doctor J never finished his sentence as both Une and Mariemeia knocked him senseless.

* * *

"**Sheesh**! So much _**paperwork!**_" Duo cried, wanting to cry at the sight of the mountain before him, "And Dad(1) has to deal with all this?" 

Quatre leafed through a stapled stack that was about as thick as two Webster's dictionaries, visibly paling as he reached the last page.

"All that for a re-fores**tation** bill?" he murmured, setting it on the desk and sitting down woozily, "Talk about an oxymoron."

Heero calmly grabbed the bill, inked the APPROVED stamp and stamped the appropriate places on the final page before plopping it into the OUT box.

Trowa scanned through the schedule and saw to his dismay that Hatake had several public appearances lined up for this week.

Acting quickly, he picked up the phone, dialing up the first location.

"Hello? This is the Office of Teiousama Sugino Hatake." Trowa said calmly, "I regretfully inform you that he is indisposed and will be unable to make his appearance at Tokyo Bay."

Duo answered Hatake's private line, becoming increasingly more and more agitated with each person who called and interrogated him on the whereabouts of the emperor.

"Look, I've already told you, he's laid up! What more do you want?" he cried after the fifteenth caller.

"_I don't care HOW sick you claim he is. Let me speak to the teiousama!_" the caller demanded haughtily.

"And **_I_** already told you, **he's** **_indisposed._**" Duo growled back, feeling the last threads of his patience snapping, "You'll just **have** to call back at a later **_date_**. **Good _Day!_**"

He hung up the phone, ripped out the jack and stormed out of the office.

Quatre stared out after him sympathetically.

"Well **honestly**…the nerve of some people." He murmured, shaking his head as he replaced the jack in the wall, "It's a wonder how Lady Une and Mariemeia handle them all by themselves."

* * *

Duo meandered into the living room just as Mimiru had just finished changing the mini-monarch, flopping on the sofa and resting his head on her shoulder. 

"Trouble in paradise?" she asked, lifting her chibified father in to her lap.

"**_God_**…I now have a newfound respect for Dad." He mumbled, not lifting his head, "How does he **deal** with them all? So many of them are such _**jackholes!**_"

"…well, he's a really mellow guy when it comes right down to it." Mimiru said thoughtfully, switching Hatake into one arm and stroking Duo's hair with the other, "Nothing really affects him unless it's truly substantial and even then, once he has time to think about it logically, he's pretty even minded."

"…sorta like you ya mean?" Duo asked, looking up at her and playing with Baby Hatake's foot absentmindedly.

"I suppose so." Mimiru replied, looking a little surprised at the comparison.

"**Suppose **so?" Misaki cried, re-entering the room after disposing of the pants her father had soiled, "Oh come **_ON!_**"

"Let's think about this sis." Mikura snorted, "You're both lone wolves, both even tempered, unbelievably mellow when it comes down to things-"

"Face it Mimiru, out of all of us, you're the most like daddy." Michiru smirked, "Right down to the way you crinkle up your nose when you're about to lie."

"…oh my **god** you're right." Mitsuki gaped, recapping on all the times when they were children when Mimiru had told lies to confuse teachers to get them all out of trouble.

"…shut up." Mimiru grunted, coloring slightly as Misaki shrieked, "**_SEE!_** **SEE!** Just like when**_ Daddy's-!_**"

"What part of **shut it** didn't you get?" Mimiru murmured, sinking deeper in her seat, now red up to her ears as foot steps reached the group's ears.

"Girls?" Une called as she and Mariemeia entered the living room, rather red in the face and knuckles a little bloody, "How would you like your father back?"

* * *

"…are you sure this is going to work?" Trowa asked politely after Hatake had been splashing about in the shallow end of the bath for about two minutes. 

"It better." Mitsuki replied curtly, "Or I'm going to practice corner kicks with the Good Doctor's balls!"

"Not if I get to him first." Misaki replied crisply, watching her father squeal happily as he splashed about, "He has a date with sweet, Lady Knight Stick."

"Don't forget about dear, Lady TaserGun." Michiru replied calmly, "My weapons department just came out with a new model…he'd make a great test subject."

"Looks like you wont get your chance." Heero replied calmly as an expression he remembered from nine years ago filled Hatake's face, "Look."

The infant slipped under the water and all at once, all five women panicked.

"**_DAD!_**"

"**DADDY!**"

"**_FAHTER!_**"

"**LET ME _GO!_**"

"**DAD!**"

Hatake's head re-emerged, coughing and sputtering…along with the rest of him.

"**_AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGH!_** **DAD!** **_COVERUPCOVERUP!_**" All five girls screeched whipping around, hand's over their eyes.

* * *

(1) Dad - Duo refer's to Hatake as 'Dad' as he was one of two prominent male figures in his life _-Father Maxwell being the first-_ he now sees Hatake as a second father and addresses him as such.

* * *

(A/N: Next time, Mikura and Misaki go to lamaze class, Mimiru goes into labor and more. R&R!) 


	51. Civilian Life: I'm In The Waiting Room

(A/N: Hey all. Sorry this took so long, but my work schedule's KILLING me. Anyhoo, read on!)

* * *

"Um…do we **really** have to be here?" Wufei asked awkwardly, doing his best not to be caught staring at the many pregnant women and their equally ill at ease looking husbands filling the room.

"For the last time, **_yes_**, Wu-Wu." Misaki said, rolling her eyes as she situated herself on a foam mat on the hardwood floor, "Just think of it as prep for what you already know is going to happen in six months."

"You're only making an uncomfortable situation that much more difficult." Trowa sighed, internalizing his discomfiture and wearing a mask of seraphic calm that would fool a criminal analyst.

"Just grit your teeth and bear it." Mikura said calmly, seated in a seiza position out of habit on the mat, "After all, we wouldn't want people to suddenly think you'd gone and grown a pair of b-"

"Finish that sentence, and I **promise** you'll regret it." Wufei growled, cheeks tingeing from a mixture of anxiety and embarrassment.

"_**Shh!**_" Misaki hissed at him as the instructor strode the mat at the front of the room and seated herself in a crisscross fashion.

"Alright everyone, I'm glad to see such a strong turnout from our male population. Welcome." She said cheerfully, causing a wave of light uneasy chuckling to rise from the men.

"To start things off, I'm Ayanokouji Satsuki." She said with a grin, "And to all the newcomers, get yourselves situated into as comfortable a sitting position as possible on your mat, 'kay?"

Mikura, feeling the Satsuki's eyes move in her direction, switched her legs out of her seiza and into the far more comfortable crisscross position of the instructor.

"Everybody comfy?" Satsuki asked in a sugary voice.

"_I wish."_ Trowa thought to himself, _"I want to get out this room in ways I can't even begin to put into words."_

"Alrighty then! Let's get started with some stretches that will aid in the delivery process." Satsuki said, clapping her hands together, "All together…and-!"

* * *

"_Hwuhh_…this is taking so long to get used to." Mimiru sighed, fingering her new, shorter haircut that just barely brushed her shoulder blades, something she had acquired only a week ago. 

"I've got to think about this practically though." She reasoned, "With three kids on the way, the likelihood of my hair being ripped out of my skull is a lot higher than when I wear it short like th - _**whuh-huh?**_"

Mimiru gasped at a sudden pressure and a sudden rush of fluid running down her legs, puddling on the marble floor.

"…well…**this** isn't good." She murmured, to herself. Mimiru had been prepped for this day well in advance, regardless of whether it had come two weeks earlier than expected. She had a duffle in the downstairs hall closet prepped and ready, there was only one problem.

Mimiru was home by herself, Duo having gone to work at Howard's ages ago.

Walking the two feet to the phone, she hit the number on speed dial for the junkyard, the receptionist answering on the second ring.

"_Howard's Scrap Yard, how may I help you?_"

"Could you please patch me through to Duo Maxwell please?" she asked, not allowing desperation to leak into her voce as she took a seat in an easy chair, "Tell him its his wife."

"_One moment please._"

Elevator music began to play and a wave of mind numbing pain shut out all thoughts except for one:_ "Sweet JEEZUS Duo, hurry up."_

"Mimi?" Duo's voice cut off the grating elevator music, "Everything okay? Whatcha need babe?"

"Oh nothing much, Duo love…just for you to be home right now." Mimiru replied in the sweetest tone she could muster, given her current situation.

"Um, hun? I don't go on break for another two hours." Duo said sheepishly, in way that practically allowed his wife to envision him scratching his head awkwardly.

"I need you **_now_**, though." Mimiru said, allowing her composure to slip as panic leaked into her voice as another contraction started.

"Mimiru?" Duo questioned, concern filling his voice after hearing the change in tone, "Are you alright?"

"My water broke." Mimiru replied as it subsided, allowing her white-knuckled grip on the arm of the chair to relax.

Duo's response to that the sound of him fumbling with the reciever followed by a dial tone.

* * *

"And** breathe!**" Satsuki called out, the women as a collective whole beginning the gasping breaths, the men, just sitting by, looking unbelievably awkward as they held the hands of their wives, fiancés and girlfriends. 

"Very good." Satsuki nodded, "Now, everybody partner up for some deep back stretches."

Misaki and Mikura, sitting right next to one another, quickly partnered, while Trowa and Wufei hurried over to the wall with the other men.

"Alright now, sit with feet touching, grab each other's hands and help each other stretch out those back muscles." Satsuki said cheerily, "Remember to listen tho', and stop when they say. And, begin!"

As the women in the room started stretching, Wufei and Trowa engaged the other men in conversation.

"This is so…I don't know…" one man said uncomfortably, eyes darting over to his wife, "I know she wants us to be in this thing together, but…"

"I know." Wufei sighed, arms folded over his chest and massaging the bride of his nose, "There **_is_** such a thing as too much togetherness."

"I really don't **know** what **_I'm_** supposed to **do**." another said sheepishly, "I feel so totally **_useless!_** I mean…it's like they're rubbing in my **face** that when the time comes there's **_nothing_** I can do to help."

"I never really thought of it in that perspective." Trowa said bemusedly, "But I suppose you may have a point."

"Yeah. All we can **really** do is keep them comfortable." A third ground out irritably, "I mean, not like that's _**such**_ a bad thing. I want to do all I can…but…"

"We all get what you mean." Wufei said understandingly, "You just wish you could do more."

"Believe me….we all wish we could do more." Trowa said simply, staring at Mikura, who felt the eyes on her and paused her stretching to look at him curiously as his cell went off.

His hand dove into his pocket, answering it in the middle of the second ring.

"Hello?…Duo?…whoa, **whoa**, slow down…what's that?" Trowa asked, unease growing in his voice, "…alright. Okay. I'll tell them. See you soon."

"What's Maxwell want now?" Wufei drawled, bored expression on his face, "Does he need us to pick up another tub of lard to dump on Howard's bunkb-"

"Mimiru's in labor." Trowa replied, loudly enough for Misaki and Mikura to hear, "They've just arrived at the hospital. Heero and Michiru are on their way as well."

* * *

_THE WAITING ROOM…_

"I hope she doesn't hurt him. She never did handle pain well." Michiru mumbled, staring at the doors that lead to the Delivery Room Duo and Mimiru were in with the obstetrician.

"Odd..." Heero muttered, looking slightly surprised, "She always struck me as the type who would handle pain easily."

"Well hopefully, everything will go…" Misaki was cut off when Duo was lead thru the double doors by a nurse, holding his hand rather gingerly. "What **happened** Duo?"

"She crushed my hand and started screaming at me to get out." Duo replied sheepishly as he was led off to another part of the hospital.

"My god..." Wufei said staring after him, "You really weren't joking were you?…say…um, how well do **_you_** tolerate pain?"

"…I handle it well enough." Misaki replied cryptically, shooting Wufei a wicked smile, "But don't you fret. If ya like, I'll let you choose which hand I-"

"Enough." Michiru sighed, rubbing her temples, "This situation is tense enough."

"Hey, she was tryin' to lighten th' mood in here." Mitsuki smirked, switching a finger up Michiru's spine, causing her to let loose a shriek that made several heads turn.

"Hey, when did **_you_** two get here?" Mikura asked, quirking an eyebrow at Quatre, who smiled back at her, "I thought you guys would still be in Spain on your honeymoon."

"You'd be surprise how fast Q can get one of those jumbo jets to move after he's fiddled with it a bit." Mitsuki supplied, "Actually, to tell ya the truth, I don't think my stomach's made it here just yet."

"I apologize for all that turbulence." Quatre said sympathetically, "But you specified for me to 'get the lead out' as it were. And that was the shortest distance between two points-!"

"What a long winded way to make an apology." Misaki snorted, trying not to laugh.

"A simple, 'I'm sorry' would work just fine...don't you think?" Heero asked mildly.

* * *

_ONE HOUR LATER…_

After what seemed to be an eternity, the group was finally admitted in to see an exhausted Mimiru before the newborns were brought in.

"I am so sorry Duo." Mimiru said quietly, a deep blush flooding her face at the sight of the cast on his hand.

"**Aw**, don't worry 'bout it, babe." Duo said cheerfully, stepping over to stroke her sweat beaded forehead.

"The children?" Wufei questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Right behind you." a nurse supplied, wheeling in three plastic incubators with oxygen tubes.

"I know a pair of proud parents need to name their kids." Michiru said teasingly, "Nice work, by the way. They're absolutely adorable."

"I **_still_** having trouble believing you actually **were** packing three in there." Heero mused, looking a bit shocked.

"A set of triplets: two little boys and a lonely little girl." Misaki observed with a smile as she gazed at her niece and nephews.

"They are beautiful." Mikura said appreciatively, "Congratulations, you two."

"And here **I** was just becoming accustomed to being a husband….now I have to make the transition to uncle." Trowa sighed wistfully.

"I feel...rather old at that thought." Quatre chimed in agreement.

"You're not even thirty." Mitsuki scolded.

"If you don't mind, I think we'll move onto naming the children now." Mimiru said, clearing her throat and looking up at Duo.

"…Himeno for our little girl." Duo said, smiling affectionately, "It mean's Field Princess, right?"

"Right." Mimiru replied, smilingly back, "And I think…Solo and Kamui for our little men."

"You remembered." Duo said, smile spreading into a grin as he leaned to kiss her forehead.

"So, we have Solo Maxwell, his triplet brother Kamui Maxwell, and their triplet sister Himeno Maxwell." Heero listed, nodding his head, "Congratulations, once again."

* * *

(A/N: Mimiru adjusts to being a mom. Mitsuki has some growing suspicions. Trowa and Mikura get into an argument that may just end their marriage. R&R!) 


	52. Civilian Life: Hell In A Hand Basket

(A/N: Hey there. Betcha all thought I'd died, right? Well think again. It's just I've been wroking myself silly on...DUN-DUN-DUN- my very own MANGA! _-SQUEEEE!-_ Pretty soon, My website should be up and running so I'll be posting it online, as well as attempting to get it published.

On another note, in about a day or so, I shall be changing my pen name to Hisa-me Kurai, my nom de plum when I'm doing my manga, so if you're looking for my fics, now you know where t' go. And with out further adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

"Thanks for coming today, Dad." Mimiru said with an exasperated sigh as she collapsed into the chair. "I've only been away from work a about two weeks and I'm going completely nuts."

She reached up and pushed a stray strand of honey colored hair out of her eyes, glared menacingly at the nursery door a moment before offering a meek smile.

After ten months of pregnancy a week at the hospital and a week at home, she had no doubt of the love she held for the infants that slept upstairs - Duo's children, her children, their firsts - but there were moments, such as this scorching hot June day, and the night before, when she subconsciously wished the blasted things would develop some debilitating disease that would sever their vocal chords.

Hatake smiled sympathetically at his eldest daughter and pulled a chair over from the dining room table. Instead of sitting on it, though, he placed it in front of Mimiru and gestured for her to put up her feet. The petite woman smiled gratefully and obliged.

"No trouble at all, dear heart." he replied with a twinkle from his bright blue eyes. "Duo asked all of us to stop in when we could; it was the only way we could convince him to go deliver that shipment to Greece with Howard."

Mimiru's face went detached for a moment. She knew Duo was working for someone who had helped him out a great deal during war times and that he really enjoyed working with his hands…but that didn't prevent her from missing him terribly.

"I know that look." Hatake smiled, patting his daughter's hand, "If you get bluer, poor Mitsuki will think you've been hiding Yolohama jerseys in your closet (1)."

"What's up with the soccer reference?" a teasing voice asked, the owner of said voice dropping a bag of pastries into Mimiru's lap.

Snapping her head upwards, Mimiru cried:

"**DUO!** I thought your trip was extended through next week!"

Planting a light kiss on the tip of her nose, Duo smirked and replied, "Our flight got in early so Howard shipped me home early."

As if on cue, the baby monitor on the table began to crackle and a mournful wail split the air.

"I'll deal with my gran-babies." Hatake said genially, "You to catch up."

"Thanks Dad." Duo smiled as the emperor rose to his feet and went to answer the cries of his grandchildren.

* * *

"I keep telling you it **_wasn't_** what it **looked like!**" Trowa yelled as he ran down the stairs after his incensed wife. 

"Wasn't what it-**YOU CALL TRYING TO _SUCK_ THE LIPS OFF _ANOTHER_ WOMAN'S _FACE_ 'NOT WHAT IT _LOOKS_ LIKE?**'" Mikura screamed back pausing in the middle of the stairway to shriek at him.

"I was **giving** her **_artificial_** **_respiration!_**" Trowa cried, throwing his hands into the airspace above his head, "She was **having** an **_asthma_** **_att-!_**"

"You know what?" Mikura snapped, eyes flashing in blind fury, "You can call it whatever the hell you want, but artificial respiration does **NOT** require tongue!"

"**_I DIDN'T FRENCH AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN!_**" Trowa bellowed, slamming the side of his fist against the wall.

"**Oh-HO!** So now you're **_admitting_** it!" Mikura yelled back, glaring daggers at him, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"I am **not** owning up to something I didn't **_do!_**" Trowa shot back frustratedly, "**Lord**, I _**never**_ took you for the jealous type, but I was **obviously** mistaken. If I can't assist even **_single_** person without you going off the-!"

"**You call working over another woman's tonsils _ASSISTING HER?_**" Mikura shrieked, stamping her foot furiously, tears finally falling down her cheeks.

Anger gave way to a wave of incredible despair as Mikura slid to the floor, totally numb to the fact that she was even crying.

"Uh…am I interrupting something?" Trowa turned wearily to find the woman he had giving mouth to mouth giving him a light tap on the back.

"Um, I just wanted to thank you for..you know, saving me." The woman said awkward, noting Mikura, doubled over on the floor, bawling hysterically, "Uh...is…is she gonna be okay?"

Mikura lifted her head, taking several deep shuddering breaths, lower lip quivering violently, cheeks streaked with tears and nose dripping mucus (eeeeeww)

"I'm fuh-**hic-**fuh-**hic-_fiiiinnne._**" She blubbered, hiccupping several times, wiping her eyes as a few remaining tears fought their way out.

* * *

Mitsuki scowled into the office, blowing a wisp of honey blond hair away from her mouth. It was already ten minutes past the meeting time Quatre had agreed to, but he seemed to be in no particular hurry to end his conversation with the curvaceous brunette in his office. 

Her frowned deepened as the brunette had the audacity to brush some non-existent dirt off his cheek.

Mitsuki knew it was probably nothing, that it was probably just newlywed paranoia…and the added fact that Quatre was very easy on the eyes only added to matters.

But…there was just something about the familiarity of the contact the two were sharing that she just didn't like; that woman was sitting far too close and her body language simply screamed, check out my smokin' bod-you know you want it.

The straw that broke the camel's back finally came when the brunette, seated up Quatre desk, swooped in and gave him a quick kiss on the side of the mouth.

Quatre, much to Mitsuki's horror, seemed completely unfazed by this and merely gave the woman a smile and a backhanded wave over his shoulder after spotting Mitsuki waiting outside his office door.

"Sorry that took so long, Mitsuki." Quatre said sheepishly, acting as though the scene that ha d played before his wife's eyes had not just taken place, "Sadira stopped by to see how I was holding up."

"And who is she to you exactly?" Mitsuki asked, trying her best to force down her suspicions, chanting to herself, _"Please don't say co-worker, please don't say co-worker, please don't say-!"_

"She's one of my elder sisters." Quatre replied with a smile, picking up on her apprehension instantaneously, "Remember? You met her at Misaki's wedding?"

"Oh-**_OH!_**" Mitsuki cried, a little bit more loudly than necessary, "So she's your- **_ohhhhh _god** I feel like sucha heel."

* * *

"Hey Heero, I wonder if Mikura's okay." Michru said in a wistful tone, running her hand over her engorged stomach, "I just have the weirdest feeling that she's really upset right now." 

"Remember…no worrying more than necessary." Heero stated calmly, striding to his pregnant spouse a giving her belly a gentle poke.

Unexpectedly, the belly poked back.

Heero withdrew his hand swiftly, as though it had been burned and stared at Michiru's enlarged stomach. "Is…that normal?"

Michiru laughed merrily, patting her tummy affectionately. "Very. These two are quite intent on doing that whenever they please now. I think that they're starting to run out of room. Mitsuki will be happy. I do believe I have a pair of future soccer players in here by the feel of things."

Heero knelt down in front of Michiru and raised his eyes expectantly towards her. He held his hand a few inches above her belly, "Do you mind if I...?"

Michiru snorted and nodded, a smirk dancing on her lips, "Step right up and visit the wondrous miracle that is my stomach." Heero smiled wryly up at her and placed his hand over her belly again. "Only two thousand yen."

"Only two?" came a voice from the kitchen. "I had no idea that pregnant women were so cheap. I've got enough yen in my pocket for six or seven gropes!"

"Hey there, Sky" Michiru called cheerfully. The bisexual man stepped jauntily into the room, twirled about three times and bowed to her. "And there is no groping going on, just some enthusiastic belly action."

"Enthusiastic?" Heero stated, quirking his eyebrow as he drew his hand away.

"Well, not on your part, dear." Michiru grinned mischievously. "But the house guests in my belly were so pleased to have an audience that they're currently kicking out the theme from the 'Lone Ranger'."

"They're what?" Sky stared at Michiru as if she had gone completely insane.

Michiru heaved a sigh and gestured both of them towards her belly once more.

"Da-da-dum-da-da-dum-da-da-dum-dum-dum-dummm..." intoned Sky in a singsong voice, his pale blue eyes glittering playfully as he counted out the beats.

"I'll be damned...that is most definitely the theme from 'Lone Ranger'," murmured Heero in agreement, a small smirk forming on his lips, "Though, if they were truly prodigies, they would attempt the full 'William Tell Overture'."

"**_Ooo!_**" squealed Michiru as she swatted their hands away. "Don't give them any ideas. If they keep this up much longer, I'll have bruises inside **and** out."

"Plus..." added Sky with a wicked grin, "...I wouldn't want to be in the house when the kiddies come to the horn section."

Michiru reached behind her back and threw one of the many pillows filling the chair at him, causing Sky to laugh, ducking easily out of the way.

* * *

It was chaotic. Hospital staff running back and forth trying to get things ready for her, Misaki sitting amid this muddled mess, truly beginning to worry while Wufei did his best to keep her calm as she paced back and forth. 

Her oogleh green scrubs swayed back and forth as she paced, taking into account the events that had led to her being in the delivery room, waiting for her epidural.

She couldn't think of anything she head done wrong. She had taken all the proper precautions…yet here she was, about to deliver her baby eight weeks prematurely.

"Hey there." A hakase greeted the two, entering the room with a tray in hand, loaded down with the anesthesia, "Are you all set?"

"Um, not really." Misaki replied weakly, giving a feeble smile as Wufei pushed her towards the table, "Honestly, how does one answer that question given the circumstances?"

"Well given your line of work, frankly I'm really not surprised the is happening at all, Mrs. Chang." The hakase replied, setting up the hypodermic needle as he spoke, "High stress levels sometimes have the tendency to cause premature births and you being on SWAT? Well, it was just a recipe for disaster."

"You see? **_This_** is one of the hundreds of reasons why I asked you to take maternity leave." Wufei ground out exasperatedly, massaging his temples, "Let's just pray that our children are alright after all this."

"Oh they'll be fine." the hakase reassured him, pushing Misaki forward as he spoke, "Breathe out. They will need to spend time in oxygen tanks while the rest of their lung tissue develops."

"**AIPE!**" Misaki yelped as the needle breeched her skin, driving itself into her spine, "Could you be a little more gentle please?"

"Do you prefer slow and painful or quick and relatively painless?" the hakase shot back.

"…I'll be quiet." Misaki mumbled as Wufei shook his head.

* * *

(1) Yokohama colors - the Yokohama Efu Marinosu team sport uniforms of blue jerseys and white shorts and black knee pads . Mitsuki's team, the Kyoto Purple Sanga, sport deep purple uniforms.

* * *

(A/N: Epilogue) 


	53. Civilian Life: My Sweet Baby

(A/N: And so it end here. In this, the final chapter, time has skipped forward four and a half years. Read on!)

* * *

"**_Mommy! Daddy!_** Who're** these** people?"

Mimiru glanced up from doing the butterfly and Duo lifted his own gazed from the distributor in front of him as three sets of feet scurried into the living room.

"Who's who, my little Peanut?" Mimiru asked, switching herself into a sitting position as Kamui flopped himself into the prime real estate that was her lap.

"**_These_** people!" Himeno said, crawling into Duo's lap with a degree of difficulty as she was dragging a very large, very full, photo album with her.

Duo stared a the photo his daughter indicated and did his best to stifle a booming laugh that was welling up in his chest.

"That, my little Pookypod, would be your mother and I." Duo said with a playful smirk, taking in the incredulous look on his children's faces.

"**Whaaaaaaat?**" Solo cried incredulously, his green eyes widening in shock as Duo removed the picture and pointed himself out, "But-but daddy…how come you look s'much like a **_girl?_**"

Duo's face faltered and Mimiru couldn't contain herself and burst out laughing, making Kamui twist around in her lap, determined to find out what was so gosh darned funny.

"Papa? Why's Mama laughin' s' hard?" Kamui demanded to know as his mother continued to laugh so hysterically that tears were running down her cheeks.

"Never you mind, son." Duo muttered, massaging the bridge of his nose as the long buried chestnut was dusted off and polished to a high-gloss finish.

* * *

"Mama?" 

Misaki glanced down to answer the insistent tugging at her pant leg.

"What can I do ya for, Shin-Lu?" Misaki smiled, swooping her daughter off the floor and situating her on the counter top.

"Daddy's doin' somethin' bad." the small girl said in a hushed tone, causing Misaki to narrow her eyes.

"I see…where's your father, honeybunch?" she asked in as sweet a tone as she could muster, lifting the small off the counter.

Shin-Lu pointed towards the sliding glass door and, shifting her daughter onto her hip, Misaki stalked outside.

"**CHANG WUFEI!**" She bellowed exasperatedly, "How many times do I have to tell you?"

Wufei stumbled in the midst of performing a crescent kick, landing effectively on his rear and making his son, Shen-Lon, laugh hysterically.

"Shen-Lon is too young to start training in the martial arts." Misaki said severely, placing her free hand on her hip.

"He's at the perfect age to start." Wufei countered, on his feet again and looking rather put off.

"He's **_FOUR!_**" Misaki cried exasperatedly, "He doesn't have the **attention span** for it! Besides the fact that you'd end up hurting him with out meaning to."

"I'd **_never_ **hurt him." Wufei said indignantly, looking visibly offended that Misaki would even suggest him harming his first born son.

"Did you miss the part where I said unintentionally?" Misaki sighed, "At any rate, lay off…at least until his little pink brain has had a chance to develop a bit more."

* * *

"Heero?" Michiru called from the front door, "I can't find Wataru's **shoes**! Have you seen-?" 

Heero appeared at her side, missing shoes in hand, stooping down to place them on his son's feet.

"-them…thanks hun." Michiru said awkwardly, a faint blush still appearing on her cheeks after all this time.

"Kaika? Are you ready to go?" Heero called, drawing his other son from the bathroom down the hall.

"I don' wanna go to the doctor." The little boy grumped, the patented Heero Yuy scowl etched across his slightly chubby, three-year old face.

"But you dislike being sick even more, yes?" Michiru asked, grabbing his coat off the wall and tugging it over his short, currently stiff, arms.

"…yeah." the little child scowled indignantly, "…but whaddif the doctor tries t' give us a **_shot?_**"

"Sh-shot?" Wataru asked nervously, gripping his father's leg, "What's a shot?"

"Doncha member that pokey thing they gave us the last time we went?" Kaika asked.

Terror rose in Wataru's blue eyes from the memory of the last shot and he whimpered, "I don't **wanna** shot!"

"Don't scare your brother." Heero said calmly, giving Kaika a light swat on the back of the head, "Sometimes inoculations are necessary to prevent disease."

"…what?" Kaika asked, staring up at his father as his mother let loose a sigh.

"What he said kids, is that sometimes getting a shot is needed, so you wont get sick later." Michiru said, simplifying her husband's statement.

"…**_ohhhh._**" The two replied in unison.

* * *

"**Sorata? _Dai?_ Toshio? **Where **_arrrrrrre_** **you?**" Mikura called playfully, wandering in slow, calculated steps as she pretended not to hear the giggling from inside the closet. 

"Where oh where could they have gone, I wonder?" she remarked idly, meandering towards the sofa and lifting up a cushion, "Could they be under..**_here?_** Guess not."

The giggling grew louder, and Mikura's smirk grew broader as she sauntered over the chest of drawers, quickly yanking open two drawers at once.

"**Are you in _here?_**" she cried, "Nuuupe. I guess I'll just have to give up. I wonder if that agency has anymore boys between the ages of three to four who would be willing to be my s-"

The closet door flew open and three bodies tumbled out laughing.

"Here we are Mommy!" Dai snickered, at the top of the pig pile.

"My, **my!**" Mikura said in feigned shock, swooping up all three at once, "What a **_fantastic_** hiding place! I don't think I would have found you in a million years!"

"Toldja it was a good spot!" Sorata said in a self satisfactory tone of voice, "And Toshio wanted t' hide in the hamper!"

"**Shut up!**" Toshio cried out irritably, face visibly redder than it had been seconds before.

"Language, boys." Trowa remarked, leaving his study and extracting Sorata and Dai from Mikura's arms, "There's a lady present after all."

He gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek before moving to read the boy's favorite story to them on the couch.

* * *

"**_Quatre!_ Quatre! _Come quick!_**" 

Hearing his wife's frantic cries, Quatre risked falling down a spiral staircase (there is nothing that makes you feel like more of a spaz…aside from falling down an escalator) to rush to Mitsuki's side.

"Look." She said simply, gesturing to their daughter, Fubuki, who was using the table for balance before breaking away from it and starting for her mother.

"They're walking all on their own." Mikura said tearfully as Sasori began following after his sister, not wanting to be left behind apparently.

Quatre got down low and extended his hands slightly as Fubuki began to wobble.

"Come to daddy, sweety." He cooed, encouraging her progress, "Come to daddy. You can do it. Come on!"

"You can make it, Satchan!" Mitsuki said, pumping her fist once, then extending both hands towards her son, "You can make it little guy!"

Finally, their little legs, unused to the motion of walking, couldn't support them any longer and they collapsed into the awaiting arms of their parents.

"Way to go!" Mitsuki cheered, hugging her son close as tears fell happily down her face, "That's my little man."

"I'm so proud of you." Quatre said, stroking the back of Fubuki's head, "You did such a good job. Daddy's so proud of you, sweety."

And so it went.

What started out as unlikely amity developed into something incredible.

All five Gundam Pilots have found their way into common society, started new lives, created new homes…with new families.

The one fact that will always remain-

That the fierce loyalty and devotion they once showed towards protecting the peace is still there…simply refocused, and if the world ever needs them, they now have something far more profound to fight for…to protect-their families.

_Owari_

* * *

(A/N: Like it or hate it, that's the end. I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing this story, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. But like all good things, it must end sometime, and now seems appropriate. I hope all you Yu Yu Hakusho Fans will check out my newest fic, _Childhood Dayz_, and tell me what you think. And now, for all of you who stuck by me, and this fic, JA MATTA NE!)


End file.
